The Choices We Make Make Us

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“But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”1

Several years ago a close family friend whom I shall name “Cynthia” (not her real name), experienced a very painful divorce. However, instead of getting into a recovery program or group to deal with her grief, Cynthia got involved with a single man who she envisioned would take care of her for the rest of her life. He was a very capable man, was very successful in terms of what many consider in today’s world to be successful, and extremely wealthy—but he was an angry man and very mean to Cynthia, and even after several years of “using” Cynthia, refused to marry her. Tragically, she refused to accept any friendly advice and instead chose to stay involved with this man.

Several years ago now, Cynthia’s friend had an accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. He has been in assisted living ever since. His family, fearing our friend might inherit some of his money, had her cut out of his will, and refused to allow Cynthia to even visit him where he now lived.

So what did Cynthia do to avoid facing and resolving her pain? Tragically, she turned to alcohol to deaden her pain. Today she is a hopeless alcoholic and has had to be hospitalized. Furthermore, she is in denial and, like any alcoholic, unless she is willing to admit that she is an alcoholic and is willing to seek help, her situation is hopeless.

Cynthia’s problem started long before she even took her first drink. It started when she became involved with a fellow who only wanted and used her for her body, was mean to her, and she made the choice to stick with him no matter what—all because of money—the money she never received, or will ever receive!

Cynthia’s choices not only made her; they destroyed her. Always remember, too, that the choices you and I make will make us.

We are also reminded of God’s Word that says, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please forgive me for all the bad choices I have made in the past and help me to make wise and careful choices today and in the future, remembering that the choices I make, will make me. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’s name, amen.”

Note: If you have never made the choice to accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, and thereby receive God’s forgiveness for all your sins, for help read, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

1. Joshua 24:15 (NIV).

2. Galatians 6:7 (NIV).

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When You Don’t Feel Like Being Loving

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“Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly—and so become more and more in every way like Christ….”1

Do you ever get your feelings hurt? If so, when this happens, how do you usually react? Do you want to withdraw from that person or get angry? Or if it it is a friend whom you feel hurt you, do you feel like ending the friendship?

When I feel hurt, my tendency is to want to withdraw, but what I try to remember to do is to pray and admit to God just how I feel and then ask Him to help me to be “as Jesus” to this person no matter how I feel, and then choose to do the loving thing towards this person, whether I feel like it or not.

Wherever possible, I also choose to share my hurt feelings with the person involved with the goal to “speak the truth in love.” To do this it is important to use “I” messages, not “you” messages. That is, to say, “I really feel hurt and need to talk to you about such and such….” Don’t say, “You really hurt my feeling when you did or said such and such.” We need to remember that what the other person says or does is their issue. The manner in which we respond and how we feel is always our issue and our responsibility.

I am not in any way seeking to justify what the other person does; rather, I am taking full responsibility for what I do and the manner in which I react. If I over-react to what is said or done, that is triggering some unfinished business in me. Furthermore, to the degree that I overreact, that is entirely my problem and my responsibility.

Admittedly, speaking the truth in love when we are feeling hurt and/or angry is much easier said than done, but it is something we need to learn how to do to maintain loving relationships.

At the same time, if the person who we feel has hurt us has a habit of lashing out when things don’t go their way, then we need to be firm with tough love, letting him or her know that if he/she continues to treat us in a hurtful manner, we will need to distance our-self from them, until they resolve their issue.

In all conflict situations, with God’s help, as a Christian, our goal is always to speak the truth in love.

Suggested prayer, “Dear God, when my feelings are hurt, please help me to evaluate my feelings to see if they are justified, or if I am over-reacting. If the latter, please help me to resolve the cause of my reaction and never blame anyone else for my issue. And even if my hurt feelings are justified, always help me to be ‘as Jesus’ to the person in question and always speak the truth in love. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 4:15 (TLB).

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Note: For additional help in this area, see the article, “Resolving Conflict Creatively” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=126&d=1&c=3&p=1

Will I Make a Difference?

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“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that Day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing.”1

On a recent Saturday night Joy and I were enjoying listening to gospel music and heard the Oakridge Boys singing; “Did I Make a Difference?” The lyrics were tremendously challenging. Following are some of these:

“I’m caught up in the push and shove / The daily grind, burning time, spinning wheels / I wonder what I’m doing here / Day to day, year to year, standing still …

I can’t help but ask myself when I lay down at night:

“Did I make a difference in somebody’s life? / What hurts did I heal? What wrongs did I right? / Did I raise my voice in defense of the truth? / Did I lend my hand to the destitute? / When my race is run, when my song is sung / Will I have to wonder, did I make a difference? / Did I make a difference?”

The good news is that you and I, especially working together, can make a tremendous difference. Every weekday of the year, via Daily Encounter, ACTS is communicating a message from God’s Word, including the gospel, to well over a third-of-a-million worldwide subscribers. Thousands more are being reached via ACTS web pages and Weekend Encounter. As the stats show, on average, people from 194 countries and territories visit ACTS web pages every month! Best of all, since going online in 1998, ACTS has received 41,000+ salvation and re-commitment to Jesus Christ decision responses from 168 countries that we know about.

You, too, can have a vital part in this ministry and help make a difference in countless lives for all eternity. You can do this by (1) joining with us as an ACTS Prayer Partner, (2) as a People Power for Jesus Partner, or (3) as an ACTS financial supporter.

First, If you would like to be an ACTS Prayer Partner committing to pray regularly for ACTS Daily Encounter and ACTS daily gospel outreach ministry, please sign up at: https://learning.actsweb.org/subscribe.php, or email me and tell me you would like to be an ACTS Prayer Partner.

Second, if you have an email address, you can become a missionary right from your own home by becoming a People Power for Jesus Partner. It is very simple, doesn’t cost a single cent or penny, and can help reach any friend, family member, or contact for Christ via the email and Internet. For more information go to: https://learning.actsweb.org/people_power_invite.php.

Third, another vital way you can help make a major difference in hundreds of lives is by becoming a monthly Financial Supporter of ACTS gospel ministries. In the past year we lost 50% of our monthly supporters. These supporters badly need to be replaced because it is the ACTS financial supporters who make all of ACTS gospel outreach ministries possible. You can sign up to be a monthly supporter, or send a one-time donation on ACTS secure donor site at: https://actscom.com/donate.php.

Will YOU make a difference with your life? With God’s help you can!

When you and I stand before Jesus to give an account of our life, may we both hear His welcoming words: “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I dedicate my life afresh to You today as I want my life to make a difference. Please use me in whatever way You choose to be a part of what You are doing in the world today to help win lost souls to Jesus. Please lead me in the way I should go and show me exactly what I can and should do. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NKJV).

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Responsibility

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“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”1

I was recently criticized for suggesting that I wanted Jesus to be my co-pilot. I was informed that Jesus is to be our pilot.

I know that sounds impressive. However, in the Christian life it is sometimes difficult to discern how much God does for us and how much we need to do for ourselves. One thing is certain, God will do for us what we are unable to do for ourselves, but He will not do for us what we are able to do and need to do ourselves. If He did, He would be being codependent and that would keep us overdependent, irresponsible and immature.

God has promised to give us wisdom if we ask for it, guidance if we seek it, and be with us wherever we go if we ask Him to—providing we stay within the limits of His guidelines and boundaries. The fact is, however, that we are always responsible for the decisions we make and the actions we take. We are in charge of our life.

Doing our part is accepting personal responsibility. As I do this, I can rest assured God will do His part. We will sit and wait for a long time if we expect otherwise. God isn’t codependent.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to act responsibly in everything I do and always look to You for wisdom, guidance and direction. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV).

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Confession as a Game

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“Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.”1

We have on more than one occasion emphasized the fact that confession is needed for the healing of many sicknesses. It is also needed for spiritual and emotional healing. However, keep in mind that “confession without repentance is a game.”

True repentance not only includes godly sorrow for the wrongs we have done, but literally means to turn around and go the opposite way. That is, with God’s help, we need to determine to stop committing the sins we confess.

Realize, too, that some (if not many) outward acts of sin are the “fruit of a deeper root.” That is, the obvious act of sin is the symptom of a deeper sin. And, as Cecil Osborne pointed out, “When we are hiding a deeper sin or fault, we confess a lesser one all the more vigorously.”

For instance, a critical, negative person is an angry person. If he is going to stop criticizing people, he also needs to confess and resolve his anger. A control freak is a very insecure person. To overcome her problem, she needs to confess and get help to resolve her insecurity. A man who lashes out and hurts the opposite sex (or uses them for sex) is more likely than not to have unresolved issues with his mother and is angry at her. He needs to confess not only his obvious sin against women, but also to admit, confess and resolve his issues with his mother. It’s the same with a woman who has unresolved issues with her father and is acting this out sexually. We either confess and talk out these issues in creative ways or we inevitably act them out in self-destructive and sinful ways.

Thus, true confession and genuine repentance require that we be personally honest, or, as David put it, without deceit in our spirit. That is, we are not living in denial. In other words, we need to see, admit, and confess not only our external acts of sins (the obvious ones), but also the deeper and often hidden “sins of the spirit” that cause us to act out in self-destructive and sinful ways. Without doing this, genuine repentance isn’t possible, because as long as we fail to confess and resolve our inner sins, we will continue to act them out in one destructive sinful way or another.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see, admit and confess any deeper unresolved issue I may have that causes me to be sick or act out in sinful ways. Lead me to find the help I need to overcome these so my confession with repentance can and will be genuine. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Psalm 32:1-2 (NIV).

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An Answer to Suffering

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“Remember the poor.”1

In an issue of Our Daily Bread I read about Mark and Alice Westlind who are missionaries in Colombia. In one of their monthly letters they wrote the following:

“Driving through Christmas traffic, fighting the drizzling rain, I chanced on a 4-year-old little girl. She was wet and cold and shaking. Her clothes were ragged, her hair was matted, and her nose was running. She walked between the cars at the stoplight, washing headlights because she was too short to wash windshields. A few gave her coins, others honked at her to get away from their vehicles.

“As I drove away only some 50 cents poorer, I raged at God for the injustice in the world that allowed the situation. ‘God, how could you just stand by, helpless?’

“Later that evening, God came to me softly with that still small voice and responded not in like kind to my rage, but with tenderness, ‘I have done something. I created you.’”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me a grateful heart for all the blessings and provisions You have so freely given to me. And give me a compassionate heart so that I will always share what I have with the poor and those who are genuinely in need—and are not in a position to be able to help themselves. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Galatians 2:10.

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The Power of God’s Word

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King David wrote, “I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.”1

When Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness, he targeted his appeal to where Jesus was, at that time, most vulnerable. Jesus had fasted for forty days and would have been very weak and hungry so Satan tempted him to turn stones into bread—a seemingly harmless thing for Jesus to do.

However, Jesus was aware of what Satan was up to so he rebuffed him by quoting God’s Word, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”2

Satan also tempts us in seemingly harmless ways—especially where we are vulnerable. But once we take the bait, he will lead us deeper down sin’s path.

Because Satan will often tempt us at a point of legitimate need, we need to make certain we get this need met in healthy ways so we won’t be susceptible to his tempting us to get them met in sinful, self-destructive ways!

When Satan does tempt us, an important way to rebuff him is to know God’s Word, memorize and meditate on it as David did, and quote it to him as Jesus did.

Dwight L. Moody, the renowned evangelist, knew the power of God’s Word too. He had written in the fly leaf of his Bible, “This book will keep me from sin or sin will keep me from this book.”

It pays to know God’s Word and hide it in our heart.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me a greater love for Your Word with the desire to hide it (memorize) it in my heart—and be quick to quote it when I am tempted. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Psalm 119:11 (NIV).
2. Matthew 4:4 (NIV).

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Mid-Life Challenge

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“Then he said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.’”1

It began to happen soon after his 50th birthday. Until then Bill had always been reliable, dependable, a successful business man, a good husband, father and provider.

First, he went out and bought a new trendy wardrobe more suitable for a twenty-something man; then he changed his hair style, dyed his graying hair black, and traded in his late-model family car for a hip sports car. He said he didn’t like his work anymore—work that he had always enjoyed. He was depressed, started drinking more with the “boys,” came home late from work more often, and complained to his wife about their growing apart. He said he needed space to “think” about things, and hinted at divorce.

Bill is experiencing what many men go through in their mid-years. He’s in the throes of a mid-life crisis. As he looked back over his life and could now see the end in view, he wondered if he had achieved anything truly meaningful. His business and financial success, with all the material possessions he worked so hard for, left him feeling empty and unfulfilled. He now worries about the future and has convinced himself that it will just be more of the same—ad infinitum?

Unless Bill realizes what he is experiencing and gets some counseling help, rather than further acting out his unrealistic fantasies, he will cause serious heartbreak for his family and possible disaster for himself.

The sooner we men learn that significance is much more important than what the Western world has defined for us as success, and that purpose is of far greater value than possessions, the better off and healthier we can be for the rest of our lives—physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually.

If, when we come to the end of life’s journey and want to have a sense of significance in that we have contributed to the betterment of mankind in some small way, it is imperative that we discover our God-given life-purpose (that will be serving people in one way or another), and dedicate the rest of our life to fulfilling that purpose.

And by the way, we are never too old to begin that journey.

As God’s Word reminds us, “Then he [Jesus] said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.’”1

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to discover my God-given life purpose and dedicate myself to the fulfillment of this purpose so that when I stand before You face to face, I will not feel that I have lived in vain. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Luke 12:15 (NIV).

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First Things First

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“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”1

In his sermon, “The Turning Point,” Richard Fairchild tells how, at the Olympic Games in Paris in 1924, Bill Havens, a member of the four-man U.S. canoe rowing team, made the very difficult decision to withdraw from the games in order to be with his wife for the birth of their first child. The U.S. team won the gold medal and it turned out that the birth of the baby was so late Bill could have stayed on the team and arrived home in plenty of time for the baby’s birth.

However, Bill said he had no regrets because his first commitment was to his wife.

However, there is a fascinating sequel to this story. “The child eventually born to Bill and his wife was a boy whom they named Frank. Twenty-eight years later, in 1952, Bill received a cablegram from Frank. It was sent from Helsinki, Finland, where the 1952 Olympics were being held. The cablegram read: ‘Dad, I won. I’m bringing home the gold medal you lost while waiting for me to be born.’

“Frank Havens had just won the gold medal for the United States in the canoe-racing event, a medal his father had dreamed of winning but never did.”2

It is true for all of us in that whenever we honor our commitments—no matter what the immediate losses may seem—in the long run it always pays to do the right thing. Always.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to always put first things first, honor all my commitments, and never forget to keep the long-term effects of my actions in mind. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 5:25 (NIV).
2. Richard Fairchild, “The Turning Point,” http://tinyurl.com/3735ly

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Self Deception

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“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”1

You may have heard the story about the elderly woman who, when sitting in the waiting room for her first appointment with a new dentist, noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, she remembered that a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in her high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could he be the same fellow that she had a secret crush on, way back then?

Upon seeing him, however, she quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way, way too old to have been her classmate.

After he examined her teeth, she asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

“Yes. Yes. I did. I’m a Morgan Mustang,” he gleamed with pride.

“When did you graduate?” she asked.

He answered, “In 1959. Why do you ask?”

“You were in my class!” she exclaimed.

He looked at her closely and then asked, “What did you teach?”

How easy it is, when meeting old friends we haven’t seen for many years, and think to ourselves how much they have aged, not even imagining that they might be thinking the exact same thing about us. And amazing how easy it is to see “the speck of sawdust” in another’s eye but fail to see “the plank” in our own eye.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to get real about my own self with all my sins and faults so that I will not be judgmental of others. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Jesus, in Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV).

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