When things go wrong, as well as having a positive attitude, being realistic about our situation, and accepting what has happened, there are several additional helpful actions we need to take.

Fourth, express emotions. When things have gone wrong in my life, I’ve learned not to deny my feelings, so when I’m grieving, I cry. God not only gave us laughter to express our joy, but tears to express our hurt and sorrow. Crying has a healing effect. It soothes the soul. Plus, when I’m frustrated, I share my feelings with a friend. Or if I’m angry, I share my feelings with the person I’m angry at or I write them out and throw away the piece of paper.

Fifth, give thanks. I constantly make a point of giving thanks to God for the many good things in my life which far outnumber my few problems. I give thanks for these too knowing that God has a valuable lesson for me to learn. As God’s Word teaches, “Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”²

Sixth, trust God. I have learned to trust God—not always without doubt or confusion. I don’t always understand why bad things happen. However, one thing I do understand, while Satan and his forces of evil want to use my difficult times to try and destroy me, God wants to use them to strengthen me. The choice is mine.

The only times in my life when I have grown have been during difficult times. Who wants to change when everything is going well? Also, if there is any quality to my writing and other work, it has all come out of life’s struggles.

While I don’t believe in quick fixes or simplistic solutions to life’s complex problems, I do know that God teaches us many lessons through difficult and challenging times—if we let him. In spite of outward appearances, I also believe that “in all things God works for the good of those who love [and trust] him”¹—even if it is eventually!

Can you accept your difficulties as opportunities to grow and ask God to show you what he wants you to learn through them? If so, your life will be greatly enriched, and you can become a happier, healthier person.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see that in all my circumstances when I commit and trust my life and way to You, all things do work together for good. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. See Romans 8:28.
2. Ephesians 5:20 (NIV)

It is true that everybody has times when things go wrong. These times can either make us or break us. The following steps will help us to benefit and grow through these times.

First, attitude. If we respond to our difficulties positively, determined with God’s help to overcome them, we will. If we react negatively with a defeated attitude, we will be defeated.

As Zig Ziglar says in his book, See You at the Top, “Attitude is much more important than aptitude…. Despite the overwhelming evidence which supports the importance of the right mental attitude, our entire educational system from kindergarten through graduate school virtually ignores this vital factor in our life. Ninety percent of our education is directed at acquiring facts with only 10 percent of our education aimed at our feelings—or attitudes.

“These figures are truly incredible when we realize that our thinking brain is only 10 percent as large as our feeling brain. A study by Harvard University revealed that 85 percent of the reasons for success, accomplishments, promotions, etc. were because of our attitudes and only 15 percent because of our technical expertise.”

Ziglar also pointed out that William James, the father of American psychology, stated that the most important discovery of our time is that we can alter our lives by altering our attitudes.

Second, being realistic. To grow through our problems it is also critical that we face them realistically.

A doctor friend of mine tells about a family where the mother broke her arm. The husband and son had to force her to the doctor and hold her while the doctor put her badly broken arm in plaster.

“There’s nothing wrong with my arm, Doctor. It’s perfectly all right,” she insisted.

“I see,” said the doctor setting the badly broken arm. Several weeks later the woman returned to have the cast removed and the arm was healed.

“There,” said the woman, “look at that. I told you there was nothing wrong with my arm!”

This woman was of a certain religious conviction which led her to believe that there was never anything wrong with her. Fortunately, her family was a little more realistic. We also need to be realistic about our problems if we are going to resolve them.

Third, acceptance. Furthermore, whatever happens to us needs to be accepted. It’s no use saying, “If only….”

Several years ago a close relative suffered a massive stroke and was left partially paralyzed. Doctors felt that the stroke could have been avoided so it was extremely tempting to say, “If only we would have known.”

However, it’s useless to say, “If only.” The family couldn’t go back and do things differently. We all had to accept the reality of what had happened, pick up the pieces, and go on.

And as I like to say to my son who is Bi-Polar, “In your thinking remind yourself that you are living with a challenge—not a problem.” That’s something we all need to do when things go wrong and we are facing difficult times. We may not be what we think we are, but what we think, we are—or will become. Our thinking makes it so. To be continued….

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, when things go wrong in my life please help me to have a constructive attitude, be realistic, and accept what has happened as an opportunity for both personal and spiritual growth and therein become a stronger, healthier person as a result. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Philippians 4:8 (NIV).

You’ve no doubt heard about the bricklayer who applied for time off work for the following reason: “When I got to the building, I found that the hurricane had knocked off some bricks around the top so I climbed onto the roof and rigged up a beam with a pulley and hoisted a couple of barrels full of bricks to the top of the building.

“Then I went to the bottom, and holding onto the line, I began releasing it. Unfortunately, the barrel of bricks was much heavier than I was and before I knew what was happening, the barrel started coming down, jerking me up. I decided to hang on since I was too far off the ground by then to jump. About halfway up I met the barrel of bricks coming down fast. I received a hard blow on my shoulder. I then continued to the top, banging my head against the beam and getting my fingers pinched and jammed in the pulley.

“When the barrel hit the ground hard, it burst its bottom allowing the bricks to spill out. I was now heavier than the barrel, so I started down again at high speed. Halfway down I met the barrel coming up–fast–and received severe injuries to my chin. When I hit the ground, I landed on the pile of spilled bricks, getting several painful cuts and bruises.

“At this point I must have lost my presence of mind because I let go of my grip on the line. The barrel came down fast, giving me another blow on my head, putting me in the hospital. I respectfully request sick leave.”

Everybody has times when things go wrong. But when troubles come, it’s not so much what happens to us, but how we react to it that counts the most. Troubles destroy some people. Others become stronger. The difference lies in our attitude, being realistic about and accepting what has happened, and what we do about resolving our situation.

To be continued….

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, when things go wrong in my life, please help me to ‘hear’ what You might be saying to me and to see what I need to do in order to turn my situation into a blessing so that I will become more mature and complete. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. James 1:2-4 (NIV).

I don’t know if the following story is true or not. Either way, it has in it a very valuable lesson. “One day, there was a blind man sitting on the step of a building with a hat by his feet and sign that read ‘I am blind, please help.’

“A creative publicist was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in a few more coins and, without asking for permission, took the sign and rewrote it.

“That afternoon the publicist returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins. He paused awhile and the blind man asked him if he was the person who had rewritten his sign and, if so, what did he write?

“The publicist responded: ‘Nothing that wasn’t true. I just wrote the message a little differently.’ He smiled and went his way.

“The new sign read: ‘Today is spring and I can’t see it.’

“Sometimes we need to change our strategy. If we always do what we’ve always done, we will always get what we’ve always got.”²

Did you ever stop to think that the New Testament part of the Bible is almost silent on methodology? I think the reason is obvious. If it weren’t, some of us would stick to the same methods used in Paul and Peter’s day religiously and rigidly. While God never changes and while his Word never changes, oftentimes our means of communicating it need to change with the changing times.

For example, for the first 25 years or so of ACTS outreach ministry, we used printed literature to reach the masses. However, as the Internet grew, the sales and distribution of our printed literature here in the U.S. collapsed. Had we not changed our method of communication from the print media to the electronic media, our organization (at least in North America) would now be non-existent. While we have not changed God’s message of salvation one iota, we needed to change our method of communicating it with the changing times.

Remember, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.” In other words, if what we are doing in our relationships, our family life, and in our churches isn’t working, we may very well need to change ourselves and/or our strategies and methods.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see when what I am doing isn’t working or bringing about needed change, if I’m the one who needs to change, or if I need to change my methods—or both. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Hebrews 13:8 (NIV).
2. Author Unknown.

One of my favorite quotes is from a former American president, Theodore Roosevelt, who said: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”

Does this mean that we all have to be highly gifted? Not at all. The important thing is that we use the gifts that God has given to each of us and use these to the best of our ability.

Or as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “If a man is called to be a street-sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or as Beethoven composed music, or as Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, ‘Here lived a great street-sweeper who did his job well.’”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to know what my God-given gifts are, and develop and use them to the best of my ability for serving You and mankind—always for Your glory. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Solomon (Ecclesiastes 9:10, NIV).