The search for happiness is as old as mankind. Hedonism, an ancient Greek philosophy, stated that the chief end of man was happiness. Democritus, who lived in 460 BC, said, “Happiness is the object of our conduct.” And Aristipus, a pupil of Socrates, put it this way. “The most intense pleasure is the highest good and is the aim of life.”

People today still long for happiness, but in spite of our greatly increased knowledge and achievements so many people still haven’t learned its secret.

On the University campus the highest death rate is caused by suicide. Hospital beds are filled with unhappy and lonely people. Some doctors estimate that over 80% of patients are suffering as a result of emotional distress. A world-famous psychiatrist claims that “the central neurosis of our time is emptiness.” And according to the United Nations World Health Organization, depression is the world’s number one health problem.

Marilyn Monroe had everything that many seem to think brings happiness—beauty, wealth, fame, and popularity—but she ended her life in suicide. I have read that actor Mel Gibson also had everything the world had to offer but he never felt happy or fulfilled. This is one reason he produced and paid to make the film, The Passion of the Christ.

It is claimed that Voltaire, who was famous for his infidelity, said on his deathbed, “I am lost! Oh, that I had never been born.” And millionaire Jay Gould said when dying, “I suppose I am the most miserable devil on earth.”

Actually, wealth, fame, power, or beauty don’t make one happy or unhappy. They are externals. Happiness comes from within. It is a by-product of an inner condition. If one lives only for personal happiness, he will probably never find it. As one person said, “The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.”

In their mind happiness is many things to many people. It depends on one’s particular needs, abilities, interests, and maturity. Happiness for one man is to be an accountant, for another a farmer. Happiness for one woman is not to have any more children, for another to have several more. The reality is, however, that none of these in and of itself can make anyone happy.

For me, happiness begins with being honest with myself and learning to understand and accept myself for who and what I really am. This way I can utilize my strengths and work towards overcoming my weaknesses.

To be continued. . . .

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to realize that happiness is not an end in and of itself, but rather a process of living in harmony with your will, in harmony with myself, and in harmony with others—and in having a purpose higher than myself for which to live. Help me to achieve these goals and therein reap the reward of happiness that comes to all who so live, Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

1. Luke 12:15 (NIV).

Third. To turn our crises into opportunities, we need to face causes. If there is one thing in life that I have learned, it is this: the problem we see is not necessarily the problem that is.

For instance, what we blame many of our problems on—especially personal ones—very often is not the real cause. What we see are mostly symptoms, and as counselor John Townsend says, symptoms very often are “the fruit of a deeper root.” For instance, my criticism of someone else may be caused more by my jealousy or negative attitude rather than by what that person did. My hurt feelings or anger at another person may be a reflection of my insecurity or my unresolved hostility. I may unconsciously be looking for a peg to hang my anger on; that is, an excuse to blame somebody else for my unresolved problems.

Only as we become courageously honest with ourselves and face the actual causes of our difficulties can we begin to resolve them. Jesus Christ expressed a universal principle when he said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you at liberty.”⁴

Fourth. To turn our crises into opportunities, we need to ask the question, “What might God be trying to say to me, or to teach me, through my adverse circumstances?” There is almost always some valuable lesson to be learned.

Remember, because he was in prison John Bunyan wrote his literary masterpiece, Pilgrim’s Progress. And through rising above her severe handicaps, blind Helen Keller became a great inspiration to millions.

And so it is with each of us. No matter what happens to us, God wants to use our suffering to strengthen us, to mature us, and to make us better persons.

If you are going through a time of sickness, sorrow, depression, financial setback, a broken relationship, or feel you have failed in some way, can you accept that God wants to use your suffering to help you grow and become closer to him? Can you ask him to help you see what you might be contributing to your situation, for the courage to do your part in resolving it, and through it help you to grow?

After a long winter, spring eventually comes and with it new leaves appear on the trees in all their refreshing beauty. In the summer they thrive. In the fall they die. But in dying their beauty is greater than in the spring. But the tree doesn’t die. The falling leaves just make further growth possible. And that’s the cycle of life—struggle, pain, beauty, growth.

Apparently, in his later years, Renoir, the famous French painter, suffered badly from arthritis. On one occasion his close friend, Matisse, questioned him, “My friend, why do you keep on painting when you are in so much pain?” To which Renoir thoughtfully replied, “The pain passes, but the beauty remains!”

For all who trust their life to God and ask him to use their struggles to help them grow, their pain, too, will pass, but their beauty will remain—forever. As God’s Word, the Bible, says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.”⁵

Be sure to invest your pain. Don’t waste it. Invest it wisely in your own growth and in the growth of others. As God’s Word also says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”⁶

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in all of life’s painful circumstances, please face me with the truth of anything that I may be contributing in any way to cause or worsen my situation. Help me also to accept my problems as allowed by you so that I will learn from and, in so doing, become a more mature, loving and helpful Christian. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

3. James 1:2-4 (TLB)(NLT).

4. John 8:32 (NIV).

5. Psalm 55:22 (NIV).

6. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV).

In ancient times people used an instrument called a tribulum. It was used to beat grain in order to divide the chaff from the wheat. It’s the word from which we get our word “tribulation.” In the development of human character it’s tribulation that divides “the chaff from the wheat.” As we noted yesterday, the crises, or tribulations of life, can make us bitter or better. The choice is ours. Today’s Scripture reading affirms this truth.

Second, to turn our crises into opportunities, we also need to accept and master our problems—not run from them. Most of us remember the story of Daniel being thrown into the lions’ den because of his religious convictions. Imagine what might have happened had Daniel denied his problem, or if he had rebelled—and justifiably so—against being thrown into a den of lions and then struggled desperately to get out. The lions probably would have torn him to shreds in short order. Daniel didn’t even try to defend himself—against the authorities or the lions. As terrifying as it was, Daniel accepted his situation. I can imagine him thinking, “I’m in this predicament. I can’t escape. I choose to trust God. How can I make the best of it?”

Undoubtedly, it was the acceptance of his situation as well as his faith in God that saved him. Note, though, his faith didn’t save him from the lion’s den. It saved him in it! Sometimes, or even often in life, before God is going to deliver us from difficult circumstances, we need to find deliverance in them.

It is human nature to want to escape or run from suffering, but doing this doesn’t help us grow, and sometimes we learn too late that what we escaped to is worse than what we escaped from. Unfortunately, we rarely change or grow unless we are hurting sufficiently. This is why James wrote in the Bible, “Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”²

To be continued…

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, whenever I feel like I am in a ‘lion’s den,’ like Daniel of old, please help me to accept my situation and fully trust you until I am delivered from the problems I am wrestling with. Grant this so that I will come out a much more trusting and faithful follower of Jesus. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

2. Romans 5:3-4 (NIV).

More than a hundred years ago, a lonely, poor boy from Germany came to the United States. His first job was for four dollars a week as a helper in a tiny store in Ohio. Since the owner allowed him to sleep at night in a big packing case in the store without paying any rent, he was able to save one dollar a week.

His next job at a bank paid him eight dollars a week. Here he slept in a loft over the bank office and continued to save all he could. One day he saw some musical instruments for sale that reminded him how he and his friend back in Germany used to make such instruments. So he sent his life’s savings of $700 to his friends in Germany and had them ship a supply of their instruments.

The first shipment sold very quickly. He sent for more and was on his way to becoming a successful businessman. The business this boy started eventually manufactured such musical instruments as pianos, organs, music boxes, and player pianos. It became a multimillion dollar business. The boy’s name? Rudolph Wurlitzer. Chances are, had this boy not started out lonely and penniless, he wouldn’t have achieved what he did. His difficult circumstances generated the motivation that made him successful.

Life’s like that. Because we live in a sinful world, difficult times, economic hardships, business setbacks, sicknesses, sorrows, heartbreaks, and crises come to all of us at some time. When they do, we often feel like we’ve struck out and failed. However, the only real failure in life is not to get up one more time than we’ve been knocked down.

The Chinese have two characters for the word crisis—one means danger; the other, opportunity. How right they are! In every crisis there is a danger of becoming better or bitter, or of being defeated or accepting the opportunity for growth. The question is: How can we turn crises and suffering into opportunities?

First, we need to realize that we have a choice. Our difficulties can make us bitter or better. They can become a stumbling block or a stepping stone. They can make us resentful or we can see in them an opportunity to be creative. The choice, however, is ours.

To be continued…

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that your Word assures me that that in all suffering you will provide a way to help me cope. Help me always to find that way and, in so doing, turn my crises into opportunities to grow and become a healthier, happier and more mature person. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

1. Corinthians 10:13 (NIV).

David Seamands tells the story about an old farmer who was in an automobile wreck. Along came an amateur lawyer who inspected the bashed fenders and battered doors and said to the farmer, “Man, you ought to collect some damages for this.” The puzzled farmer wisely replied, “Damages? I’ve collected enough damages already. What I need are some repairs!”²

And isn’t that what we all need—repairs; that is, healing of our sin-sick soul?

The question constantly being asked is: “If God is a God of love, why does he allow such damages or suffering in the world?” “Why does he allow children to starve?” “Why does he allow terrorism to continue?” “Why does God allow all the problems in the world to continue? When will Jesus return to take all God’s children to Heaven and end all this misery here on earth at least for his children?”

I don’t know when Jesus will return but with the ever increasing conflict between militant Muslims (Islam) and the Jews, Christians and Westerners (the infidels), the stage could be being set for the final world conflict that will signify the imminent return (or immediately follow the return) of Jesus to earth to take his children home to glory—where God will wipe away all tears and where all sadness, suffering, and sickness will be no more.

In the meantime, however, we happen to live in a broken, sin-sick world where we suffer not because God left us but because we, the human race, left God and consequently reap the results that sin produces. As a result, we desperately need the healing of our soul provided through the punishment, crucifixion, and death of Jesus Christ who died in our place on the cross in order to pay the penalty for our sins so that we could receive God’s free pardon and the gift of eternal life.

While we still live in this sin-sick world, we will continue to see all the pain and suffering that a sin-sick world produces. However, once we accept God’s gift of salvation, he will heal our sin-sick soul and give us peace in the midst of this suffering world knowing that our sins are forgiven, that our soul has been healed, and that we are on our way to Heaven.

The critical question is not why does God allow suffering, but rather, why don’t we turn back to God and receive his full and free pardon? If you haven’t accepted God’s pardon, be sure to see No. 3 below and read “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to find healing for my sin-sick soul and for my damaged emotions so I will experience the abundant life you have planned for all your children. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Isaiah 53:5 (NKJV).

2. David Seamands in his taped message, Damaged Emotions, a copy of which can be purchased at www.actscom.com/store.

3. www.actsweb.org/christian.

Michael Josephson of Character Counts says, “Ask people [including] young people why they get high on drugs or alcohol or seek sex without intimacy or commitment, and they’re likely to tell you it’s fun and they just want to be happy. It’s tempting to envy the life of fun-loving ‘party animals,’ ‘playboys’ and ‘good-time girls’ until one thinks about how they feel about themselves and their lives when they are alone without the hyped-up stimulation they seem to thrive on.

“It doesn’t take a psychologist to realize that if happiness is the destination, these folks are on the wrong road. The problem is that the intense sensation of fun or feelings of pleasure experienced by a substance-induced buzz or an exciting sexual encounter are quickly replaced with a consuming sense of emptiness that drives a need to start all over to fill the vessel again. So each time drinkers, drug users or sex addicts discover that getting what they wanted isn’t making them happy, they fall into the despondency conveyed in the famous Peggy Lee song: ‘Is That All There Is?’

“People who make pleasure seeking the focus of their lives are like drug addicts who need continually stronger and more dangerous doses to get high.

“Happiness is different from fun and pleasure. It’s a less intense but more durable feeling of well-being. It’s not a continuous state. A good life is usually seasoned with moments of joy and despair, play and work, success and failure. Happiness is a kind of emotional resting place of quiet satisfaction with one’s life. The art of living a happy life lies not in having more of what you want, but in getting better at enjoying what you have.”²

To this wise advice from Michael I would add that perhaps a better word than “happiness” is “contentment,” which comes from having peace within one’s self. This comes from resolving past conflicts, forgiving all who have hurt us, maintaining peaceful relationships; from living in harmony with God’s will and his moral laws, and above all, in finding peace with God, knowing that all our sins are forgiven and that we have God’s gift of eternal life, which gives one a reason and purpose for living that is bigger than one’s self.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to live in harmony with your will and your moral laws; with eternal values in mind; and with a God-given purpose. Help me to forgive all who have ever hurt me and never harbor bitterness or grudges towards anyone. And help me to keep growing in faith, love, and every grace so that my life will have meaning, purpose, and value for time and eternity. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: To be sure your life is right with God see: www.actsweb.org/christian.

1. Philippians 4:12-13 (NIV).

2. Michael Josephson, Character Counts. www.charactercounts.org

The word encourage (en=in+courage) simply means to put courage into another—something we all need to do and receive regularly.

Years ago—when I was a young teenager—one of the men in our church gave me a light manly punch on my arm and gave me a compliment about my football game as I passed by him.

I’ve never forgotten that compliment which to me was a big encouragement when I needed it. Some years later I recall how in my beginning days of ministry, after speaking to a youth group, one of the members in attendance said to me, “Thank you for being God’s messenger to me today.” I’ve never forgotten her words and those of many others along the way either. (Sadly, a cutting word can have the opposite long-term effect.)

Encouragement. So easy to give, costs nothing, and is worth its weight in gold.

As Leo Buscaglia said, “The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker-tape parade for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have a potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt.”²

Be sure to encourage—to put courage into—someone today, especially your own loved ones.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for all the people who have encouraged me along the way. They are greatly appreciated. And please help me to be an encourager to someone else every single day just as others have encouraged me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV).

2. Leo Buscaglia, cited in Inspirational Peak! http://www.inspirationpeak.com.

Giant Sequoia trees, also known as redwoods, are the biggest living things on Earth. Heights of 300 feet and diameters of 30 feet are not uncommon. They can range in age from 2,000 to 3,000 years—some of which were living when Jesus walked the shores of Galilee. The largest specimen, the General Sherman Tree in Sequoia National Park, is 275 feet tall (84 m), has a diameter of 36.4 feet (11.1 m) at the base, and has been estimated to weigh 2500 metric tons. The Pacific coast redwoods in southern Oregon and northern California range in height from 100 to 367 feet (30 to 112 m)—a size approached only by the eucalyptus of Australia.

What is fascinating about these majestic redwood trees that reach their leafy arms heavenward is that they stand for hundreds of years surviving raging fires, violent storms, and fierce winds. I have also read that they have a comparatively shallow root system which makes their survival even more amazing. So how do they survive? They survive because they live in groves with their root systems entangled with numerous other trees. In other words they support each other. They couldn’t survive alone.

Neither can we. We need each other. We were never meant to go it alone. We need the support of one another to make it. One of the major purposes of the Christian church is for the very purpose of encouraging and supporting one another. If you don’t belong to such a church, I urge you to do all you can to find one.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you have designed the church, not only to help us grow spiritually, but also to support us emotionally and socially. Help me to find and be a part of such a church—one that is true to your Word and fulfills your divine purpose in the life of its members. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

P.S. See the article: “What a Good Church Can Do for You” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/living/church1.htm.

1. Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV).

Last, but certainly not least, is love, unconditional love. To genuinely love God, others and myself is the highest and noblest fruit of maturity, and as long as I have a need for growing in love, I have a need for growing in maturity.

To love unconditionally doesn’t mean that we necessarily like others or what they do. It means that we accept them as fellow strugglers and fellow sinners because, in God’s sight, we have all sinned and fallen far short of his standard of holiness.⁵ It also means that we don’t try to fix people or give them unsolicited or unwanted advice. It means that we are there for them should they need us; to listen to them; and to accept them for who they are even while we may disagree with their manner of life.

In one of my live-in week retreats some time ago there was a lady whom I will call Josephine who was furious at me because I had called homosexuality sin and an abomination in the eyes of God. She angrily blurted out to me in front of the entire group, “You are nothing but a pharisaical religious _ _ _ _ _ _ _!” I admit that I was somewhat taken aback but answered calmly, “Yes, sometimes I am.” This of course defused the situation.

Josephine was gay. Privately I assured her that while I disagreed with her lifestyle, I did love and accept her. At the end of the week, having lived in with a group of Christians—none of whom judged or rejected her—Josephine came to me and said, “Maybe you are right after all,” and then she hugged me warmly. Amazing. This may have been the first time in Josephine’s life that Christians hadn’t judged, criticized, or rejected her.

If fellow sinners are going to come to Jesus, while we disagree with their actions and behavior, we need to show them unconditional love and acceptance. A tough call to be sure, but unconditional love is the highest fruit of Christian maturity. “Tell me whom you love,” Houssaye asked, “and I will tell you who you are.”

Let us remember, too, that growing in maturity is God’s will for all of us. As the Apostle Paul wrote, “Him [Jesus] we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom that we may present everyone mature in Christ. For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.”⁶

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that your goal for me is that I grow in maturity in every area of life, so that I will learn how to genuinely love you, and love and accept myself and others in healthy and productive ways. So help me God. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

5. See Romans 3:23.

6. Colossians 1:28-29 (ESV).

Note: This series has been adapted from “Characteristics of Maturity” online at: Characteristics of Maturity: http://tinyurl.com/characteristics-maturity

For further help read, “Dare to be Honest” at: http://tinyurl.com/dare-to-be-honest

Personal honesty. Another major characteristic of maturity that is vital for healthy relationships and meaningful living is personal honesty both with others and with one’s self. Without personal honesty I don’t believe that intellectual honesty is possible. To the degree that I am dishonest and out of touch with my own reality, the more I will distort all other factors and truths to make them match my distorted perception of reality. On the other hand, the more honest I am, the clearer I will see all other truth, including God’s truth.

Personal honesty includes being in touch with and honest about our true feelings/emotions (many of which have been long since buried and denied). It also means being honest about our motives. This may be the most challenging area of personal honesty because most of us have hidden agendas, be they conscious or subconscious. Unfortunately, hidden agendas cause people to become disgustingly manipulative.

Being honest is being real, transparent, and authentic. It’s a tough call but the only healthy and mature way to live. It means being known for who we truly are (warts and all) by at least one or two trusted friends. It allows us to see both our strengths and weaknesses that, in turn, will help us to develop and use our strengths creatively and work on overcoming our weaknesses.

Being honest is also God’s plan for each one of us. His Word says: “We will lovingly follow the truth at all times—speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly—and so become more in every way like Christ who is the Head of his body, the church.”² And again, “Surely you [God] desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.”³

Spiritual maturity. This will be seen, not in how well we know our Bible, how many church services we attend, or how many religious activities we are involved in (all of which are important when done from pure motives), but in having a healthy relationship with God. In fact, over-busyness in religious activities may be a cover-up of areas of immaturity.

Think of Mary and Martha, friends of Jesus, for example. When Jesus came to visit in their home, one can imagine how excited Martha must have been as she busily labored in the kitchen over a hot oven to prepare a special meal for their special guest. However, she complained to Jesus about Mary who wasn’t helping with the preparations, but just sitting and visiting with Jesus. This sounds like a reasonable complaint to me. I probably would have been ticked off with Mary too. However, Jesus saw it differently.

Here’s the scene: “But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him [Jesus] and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.’ And Jesus answered and said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.’”⁴

In our language, Martha may have been a workaholic keeping busy to avoid facing some painful issue/s in her life. On the other hand, relating to Jesus was more important to Mary than busily preparing a meal for him. What Martha and Mary were both doing was important, but what was more important was the motive behind their actions. It’s good to do work for God but more important is our relationship with him, and that we have pure motives. Loving and relating to God is a vital part of spiritual maturity out of which genuine service is to flow. Service used as a way of avoiding any unresolved personal issue is not service, but a way of escape from facing reality.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please search my heart and face me with the truth of any and all unresolved issues in my life—including any past hurts, any areas of un-forgiveness, and every area of immaturity, and please lead me to the help I need to overcome so that I will become more and more like Jesus Christ—and mature in every area of my life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

2. Ephesians 4:15-16 (TLB) (NLT).

3. Psalm 51:6 (NIV).

4. Luke 10:40-42 (NKJV).