Em Griffin in The Mindchangers said, “Some early studies concerned with prejudice show that we’re quite capable of reordering our perceptions of the world around us in order to maintain our conviction that we’re right.

“A group of white, middle-class New York City residents were presented with a picture of people on a subway. Two men were in the foreground. One was white, one was black. One wore a business suit; one was clothed in workman’s overalls. One was giving his money to the other who was threatening him with a knife.

“Now as a matter of fact it was the black man who wore the suit, and it was he who was being robbed by the white laborer. But such a picture didn’t square with the prejudices of the viewers. To them, white men were executives; black men were blue-collar workers. Blacks were the robbers, whites the victims. And so they reported what their mind told them they saw—that a black laborer was assaulting a white businessman.

“As human beings who desperately desire our lives to be consistent and untroubled, we’ll go to great lengths to reject a message that implies we’re wrong.”²

As I’ve said before, the more dishonest we are with our inner self, the more we will distort all truth—including God’s Truth/Word—to make it match our twisted perception of reality in a vain attempt to justify our every thought, perception, and action while totally denying our reality and real motives.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be honest with myself, with you, and with others, and never twist truth to make it justify what I have done or want to do. Give me a pure heart and help me to always be honest and real about my motives. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 4:14-15 (NLT).

2. Em Griffin, The Mindchangers, Tyndale House, 1976, pp. 48-9

In response to a Daily Encounter I wrote some time ago, a subscriber wrote the following day, “I am concerned about your article on guilt throwers and guilt catchers. There are some things in this world that are Biblically wrong! Our daughter has used that article to justify a lifestyle that is inherently fraught with sin. Sin is real and it is wrong. Some people need to feel guilt. That is how the Holy Spirit works to return them to God’s guidance fold. I despise the whole idea of this article—that there is nothing about which we should feel guilt—BALONEY AND HERESY! SHAME ON YOU!”

Dear Joan (name changed), thank you for your response to the Daily Encounter about “Guilt Throwers and Guilt Catchers.” I always appreciate it when those who differ with me say it directly to my face.

First, I would appreciate it if you would let me know specifically what I said that you feel is baloney and heresy? Also, where did I say “there is nothing about which we should feel guilt or guilty?”

Second, this article is not talking about not feeling guilty when we have done wrong. It’s talking about people who dump shame and/or guilt trips onto other people, which is often used to control and manipulate them—or to seek to justify their own actions.

Third, my article says that guilt is best left to the Holy Spirit. In other words it is God’s work to make us feel guilty, not my responsibility to make others feel shameful or guilty.

Fourth, it is true that we use the term “guilty” as an emotional response but in the Bible guilt is a legal, not an emotional, term. If we have done wrong, we are guilty regardless of what we feel. It’s the same with the law of the land—guilt has to do with what we have done or haven’t done—not how we feel.

Fifth, the biblical “emotional” term and appropriate response when we are guilty is “Godly sorrow” as seen in today’s Scripture passage.

Lastly, If your daughter is in rebellion against what you believe, I would urge you to sincerely pray and ask God to reveal to you anything you might possibly be contributing in any way towards her rebellion. Keep in mind, too, that people who know that what they are doing is wrong, will often twist truth to make it match their twisted perception of reality in a vain attempt to justify their actions. Not what I or anybody else has said is to blame. They are totally responsible for their actions and their behavior.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me never to twist your truth to make it say what I want it to say. And help me never to justify my own or others’ wrongful actions, and help me never to use your truth to manipulate others to make them feel shameful or guilty. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 7:9-11 (NIV).

Science has finally caught up with these words in the Bible that King Solomon wrote some 3,000 years ago.

The following report is from The Week magazine: “Laughter is good for your health—and now scientists know why. Researchers at the University of Maryland found that when 20 healthy volunteers smiled and guffawed while watching the comedy, Kingpin, their blood flow increased by 22 percent, about the same increase caused by aerobic exercise. But when volunteers watched tension-filled scenes from Saving Private Ryan, their blood flow decreased 35 percent.

“The researchers say that laughing apparently causes the endothelium, the tissue that lines blood vessels, to expand, which increases blood flow. Laughter may also improve arterial health by reducing mental stress, which constricts vessels and cuts blood flow. A healthy lifestyle—researcher Michael Miller tells New Scientist—would include 30 minutes of exercise three times a week, and 15 minutes of hearty laughter each day.”²

It’s a pity that so many totally ignore God’s directives for healthier, happier living. If we would live by the principles as found in his Word, the Bible, we would not only live healthier and happier lives, but our relationships would improve out of sight. We can’t improve on God’s plan. The wisest thing is to get in on it.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the principles given in your Word so that I can know how to live a healthier and happier life, and in so living greatly enhance my relationships. Please help me God to so live. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 17:22 (NIV).

2. The Week magazine, March 25, 2005. Cited on Parables, Etc., April 2005

Albert Lee writes, “I have read how farmers in Zentsuji, Japan, are producing full-grown watermelons for shipment—only these are no ordinary melons, they’re square!

“They were placed in tempered-glass cubes while they were still growing. Why would anyone want a square watermelon? They’re much easier to store in a refrigerator. They’re a whole lot easier to pack too.

“It’s amusing to think of how a naturally round watermelon can become square because of the shape of the container in which it’s grown. This reminds me of the forces in the world that exert their influence on us, and attempt to shape us. If we meditate on God’s Word daily, it will shape our thoughts and help us grow to become more like Christ. Then we will act in a manner that pleases him. Pressures of the world will continue to try to shape our character, but they will not succeed if God’s Word is changing us from within.”²

And if we neglect our spiritual life, get carried away with materialism, feed our minds on mindless TV, run with the wrong crowd, and forget God then these things will shape our lives—not only for time but also for eternity.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, give me the good sense to live with eternal values in mind and choose wisely in what I allow to shape my life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Romans 12:2 (NIV).

2. By Albert Lee, cited on KneEmail. To subscribe send a blank message to: kneemail-subscribe@welovegod.org.

On one occasion the prophet Elijah was convinced that everybody in Israel except him had turned from God and that he was the only one who hadn’t. God reminded him that there were seven thousand others in Israel who weren’t rejecting him.

A common excuse that many use to do as they please is the claim that everybody’s doing it. The fact is that not everybody is cheating on their taxes or on their spouses. Not everybody is getting drunk or stealing from their place of employment, either.

Many may be doing these things but the statement that everybody is, simply isn’t true. Even if it were, would that make it right? Of course not. If everybody walked into a fire, would you or I do the same? Or, like the proverbial lemmings who blindly follow their leader over a cliff, would you or I do the same? Hardly.

God didn’t give us the Ten Commandments to kill our fun, but to protect us. There is a valid reason for every one of them. In breaking any we harm ourselves or somebody else. Stealing, for example, isn’t wrong because one of the Ten Commandments says, “Thou shall not steal.” It’s wrong because it is damaging to the one who steals and hurtful to the victim. That’s why “Thou shall not steal’ is one of the Commandments and why it’s very wise to obey it and every other one of God’s directives even if everybody else isn’t.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to realize that all of your commandments are there for the good of all, including myself and my loved ones. Give me the courage to do right even if all around me aren’t and regardless of how I feel. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Kings 19:10 (NIV).

People have asked, “When we speak out against others we believe are in the wrong, are we being judgmental?” This is a good question to ask and a lot harder to know the right answer. However, remember that on more than one occasion Jesus condemned the religious Pharisees for their hypocrisy. Also, the Apostle Paul rebuked Peter when he felt he was in the wrong.

So when is it right for us to speak out and when do we need to keep silent? How do we know we aren’t projecting our own unresolved issues onto other people? Or when someone attacks us personally, when do we need to turn the other cheek, and when do we need to stand up and confront? Or when we see wrong in society, business, or politics, should we speak out or should we look the other way and say nothing?

When people attacked Jesus personally and accused him falsely, he remained silent and was totally non-defensive because he had nothing to hide. However, when people misused the house of God and used people for their own ends, or tried to hide their hypocrisy behind a facade of false religion, or loved their man-made rigid rules more than they loved people, Jesus spoke out against them in no uncertain terms.

The bottom line is motive. Jesus always did what he did because he loved God and he loved people. He attacked evil head-on because it was so destructive of those whom he loved—us! Furthermore, Jesus always spoke with authority but was never authoritarian, rigid, controlling, or manipulative because he had nothing in his own life he needed to hide.

What we need to do if we are going to make a difference in our society is, first of all, to acknowledge our own shortcomings and, with God’s help, work at overcoming these. Second, we need to love the things God loves and hate the things he hates and speak out against these as Jesus did. These are the things we need to be angry at too. We simply cannot love righteousness without hating and opposing unrighteousness.

Meekness is not weakness and let us not forget the words of Edmund Burke who said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please continue to purify my motives and give me the insight to know when to keep silent, when to be non-defensive, and give me the courage to speak out against evil when I see it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Galatians 2:11 (NIV).

Sometimes, though not always, the thing that upsets us in others is the problem that we have never resolved in ourselves.

On one occasion right after I conducted a short personality test, which included only one brief question about sexual attitude, I was approached by a woman who said to me, “Wow, you sure have hang-ups about sex, don’t you!”

I replied, “And how old were you when you were sexually abused?”

She looked at me in amazement and said, “How did you know?”

I said, “You just told me.”

Another common example is when a preacher or a moralist continually condemns a particular sin that he is obsessed about, you can be pretty sure that that’s his problem—either overtly or covertly. These people project their own problem onto others. Because it’s their problem, they suspect it’s other people’s problem too. Or to compensate for their guilt they condemn others for what they themselves are doing or secretly want to do.

It’s no wonder Jesus told us to get rid of the plank out of our own eye before we tried taking a speck of sawdust out of anybody else’s.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please face me with all of my character issues and faults so I won’t project or dump them onto others, and so I can bring them to the light for your healing touch. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus in Luke 6:42 (NIV).

Somebody has said that most of us wouldn’t think of stealing a man’s transportation but think nothing of stealing his reputation, which is what gossip does.

Unfortunately, with gossip, once it’s out, it’s out. And like the ever widening concentric circles of a pebble thrown into a pool, its effects can keep reaching out into ever widening circles. And it can’t be taken back any more than one can “unring a bell.”

Gossip can come in many forms besides saying negative things about someone. When a person’s name comes up all we need to say is, “Oh. Him?” in a tone of voice that immediately casts a doubt on that person. And we would deny vigorously that we ever gossiped about that person!

Gossip is not wrong because the Bible says so but rather, like any sin, the Bible says it’s wrong because it is damaging to human personality. Remember, too, that God listed the sin of gossip with other sins such as homosexuality, evil, greed, depravity, envy, murder, deceit, malice, and slander.² A sobering thought.

True, we need to be warned against dangerous people. On the other hand it can be very difficult to discern what needs to be said about another and what is malicious gossip. With God’s wisdom and help, let us strive to avoid destructive gossip at all cost.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, some gossip can be such a juicy morsel in my mouth. Help me to develop a real bad taste for it—both for speaking it and for listening to it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 6:16,19 (NIV).

2. Romans 1:24-32.

Someone has facetiously said that Christians form the only army that shoots its wounded! A sad commentary but too often too true. For example, some church people still judge people suffering from depression and other emotional problems saying they lack faith, have unconfessed sin, or are not involved in enough Bible study and prayer.

According to the author of the book, Beyond Seduction, “There is no such thing as mental illness; it is either a physical problem in the brain … or it is a moral or spiritual problem.” Another well-known Christian leader basically agrees. In his book, Our Sufficiency in Christ, he writes, “There is no such thing as a ‘psychological problem’ unrelated to spiritual or physical causes. God supplies divine resources sufficient to meet all those needs completely.”

Whew! Can you imagine what it does to a person who is mentally ill to hear that there is no such thing? It makes him or her more depressed. Certainly some depression is caused by a physical (biological) or a spiritual problem, but certainly not all by any means. Some is caused by psychological or emotional problems and needs to be resolved with psychological tools just as medical problems need to be resolved with medical tools. Even Paul said to Timothy, “Take a little wine for your stomach’s sake.”

And, how about Moses, Elijah, Job and Jeremiah who all experienced times of depression.² David, too, was often downcast and depressed. Martin Luther also suffered from long bouts of depression as did Charles Spurgeon, the prince of preachers, and J.B. Phillips the great Bible scholar.

What I believe God wants us to do when we are depressed or mentally ill is to get the help we need (professional if necessary) to find and treat the cause/s. What we don’t need is judgmental “friends” who Christianize complexes and condemn us when we are down or tell us we shouldn’t feel the way we feel. What we need is supportive friends who will listen to us, give us their understanding, and help comfort us with the comfort they themselves have received in their times of trouble. Isn’t that what Jesus was all about?

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please deliver me from being cursed with the affliction to give unsolicited advice to, or to be judgmental toward, those who are emotionally down, depressed, or mentally ill. In all situations please give me the grace, compassion and understanding so that I will be as Jesus to friends and neighbors who hurt. And please use me to be a wounded healer. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV).

2. See Numbers 11; 1 Kings 19; Job 3; and Lamentations 1-5.

Babe Ruth was one of the all-time greats of American baseball. For years he had been the idol of sports fans. Time, however, took its toll. I read how, in one of his last games, he began to falter. He struck out and made several misplays that allowed the opposing team to score five runs in one inning. As he walked from the field, he was greeted with an enormous storm of boos and catcalls from the stands. Fans shook their fists.

Then a little boy jumped over the railing and, with tears running down his cheeks ran out to the great athlete. Unashamedly, he flung his arms around his hero’s legs and held on tightly. Babe Ruth picked him up, hugged him, set him down, and together the two of them walked off the field hand in hand.

An unknown poet wrote:

I went out to find a friend,

But could not find one there.

I went out to be a friend,

And friends were everywhere!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be a faithful friend at all times. And thank you that your friendship for me is never based on my performance—good or bad—and that you love me at all times no matter what. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 17:17 (NIV).