In considerable thinking today among college students and others, so-called truth is based much too often on one’s personal experience and how one feels about it.

As Mark Early wrote in Breakpoint, “Take, for example, the argument for s-e-xual experimentation. It goes like this: ‘In order to make wise choices about s-e-x, you have to experience it.’ This isn’t just a ‘line’ a guy might use with a girl; it’s a false theory of knowledge. It says that personal experience is the only way to know anything, and the test of experience is, of course, how you feel.”²

Some also reason that because they can’t see, experience, or feel God, he therefore doesn’t exist.

In other words I make my experience and how I feel the final voice of authority on what is true and what is false, which of course is a way to justify what I want and choose to believe and do.

Certain drugs are addictive. That is true regardless of what I think or feel about them. If I experiment with these drugs to seek to prove my point, I can no longer think clearly or rationally. Furthermore, is fornication, adultery, abortion, homo-s-e-x-ual behavior, gay marriage or any other actions that God condemns right or wrong based on my experience and feelings? No. These actions are wrong because God’s Word says they are. And God says they are wrong because they are ultimately harmful to those who indulge in them.

To make my experience and feelings the test of truth is to raise myself above God, implying that I know better than he knows. Rather egotistical to put it mildly, and ultimately self-destructive to put it realistically.

God’s Word is the final voice of authority and the standard by which we measure all truths. If a behavior is in harmony with God’s Word, we know that it is right.³ If it is out of harmony with God’s Word, we know that it is wrong and harmful. We also need to remember that “there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” It is much, much wiser to go God’s way than my own.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the principles for healthy living you have given to us in your Word, the Holy Bible that, if we follow, will lead to eternal life. And that, if we reject and go our own way, will lead to eternal death. Thank you for this warning, and thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 14:12 (NIV).

2. Breakpoint, 8-15-2005, http://www.breakpoint.org/bp-home.

3. See Psalm 19:8.

Do you ever walk into a room full of strangers with the sense that you are the only one who feels insecure? The fact is that others, at least some of them in that room, probably feel the same way, especially if they are also strangers to the group. Feelings of insecurity are part of the human condition because we are all wounded in some way to some degree.

We visited a new church on one occasion where nobody bothered to talk to or welcome us, so I decided to talk to others and welcome them. “It’s good to have you here at church today,” I said and asked, “are you a member?” In fact, just this last Sunday morning after church I saw a man standing alone, so I specifically went to speak to him and help make him feel welcome. He turned out to be a first-time visitor. A little later this same man sought me out to thank me for talking to him, and told me that I was the only person that bothered to stop and speak to him.

So, when in a group of strangers, talk to a person who may be standing alone and ask him/her about him/herself. This will get you out of yourself and in time you will feel much better about yourself. I’m not suggesting that we be phony, but sometimes we just need to acknowledge our fear, but don’t allow it to control us or hold us back from doing the right thing.

If we keep reaching out to others with a sincere motive and do the loving thing, in time this will help us to become more secure ourselves. It may be a challenge at first, but it is what Christ commanded us to do. That is, to love one another. One way to do this is to reach out to a stranger in your midst who is all alone.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in my insecurity help me to reach out to others, and to learn to love and accept myself as you love and accept me, not in any way to boost my own ego, but so I can become a freer channel through whom your love can flow to others. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 13:34 (NIV)

When Jesus spoke to the man at the pool of Bethesda who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years, he said to him, “Do you want to be made whole [or made well]?”²

Obviously he did—his was an active faith—because Jesus healed him immediately. The key word here is “want.” To illustrate this point I often ask people in classes I teach how many want to weigh less than they do? There are always hands raised, so I then ask, “Well why don’t you?” Not all, but many of us could weigh much less if we actually wanted to by doing something about it. Many people, who say they want to weigh less, but don’t do anything about it, merely wish to weigh less. And a “wish” is never a “want” until I do something about it.

For years I kept physically fit by hiking in the mountains near where I used to live, and by riding my mountain bike several times a week up and down steep hills where I currently live. A couple of years back I hurt my leg which forced me to stop riding my bike. Consequently, I put on a few extra pounds. So how am I wanting to lose those extra pounds? By going to the local gym three times a week and maintaining a reasonable diet. Do I enjoy going to the gym? Not really, but I know that I need to if I am going to meet my goal to weigh less. Fortunately, I’m already half-way to meeting my goal.

The fact is that Jesus never asked anyone, “Do you wish to be made whole or do you wish to get well?” If we are going to be made whole or made well, we have to genuinely want it by doing what we need to do in order to see it happen. For instance, if I want God to heal me of a sickness that is caused by an unresolved resentment, it is imperative that I forgive the person who I feel has hurt me, in order to clear the way for my healing. And if, in any way, I am living out of harmony with God’s will, I need to clean up my act if I want to be made whole/well.

As today’s Scripture points out, God’s goal for each of us is not just physical well-being but also that we are made “perfect [complete, mature] in Christ Jesus.” The ideal model is to become like Jesus who “grew in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.”³ That is, he grew intellectually, physically, and relationally (that is, emotionally).

The reality is that only to the degree that we are made whole will our lifestyle, our actions, our behavior, our attitudes, our motives, and our relationships be wholesome. This is available for all who truly want it, and do their part in helping to make it happen.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for your Word that teaches principles for wholesome and healthy living. Please give me a love for learning what your Word teaches, and help me to live in harmony with all its life-principles. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus name, amen.”

1. Colossians 1:28-29 (NKJV).

2. John 5:6 (KJV).

3. Luke 2:52 (NKJV).

I’m sure you’ve heard or read about the book authored by Thomas Harris, I’m OK–You’re Ok, that was published some years ago. A humorist adapted it to say, “I’m not okay–and you’re not okay–but that’s okay.” I read an even funnier suggestion not so long ago where an author said he would like to write a book and title it, I’m a Jerk–You’re a Jerk (although he used a much stronger word than jerk).

This wasn’t intended to put people down, but to realize that it is such a liberating experience when we admit what we are, because only then are we free to change.

The reality is that everybody at times feels insecure and not okay. And it’s okay to feel this way. Once we admit it, then we don’t have to quit living and pretending as if we don’t feel that way. It’s called being authentic.

It starts with courageous honesty and admitting who and what we are. On one occasion in a support group I was leading after a comment I made to a lady she retorted, “Innes, you are a j with an erk.” So I replied, “You’re correct. Sometimes I am a jerk.” That’s a fact. If I get defensive and deny it, I will never improve, but if I admit this and all my faults, which, by the way is vital for self-acceptance, I am then free to grow and improve.

When we are truly honest with ourselves and learn to love and accept ourselves as we are, warts and all—the way God loves and accepts us—we gain a much healthier sense of self-love and self-acceptance. Realizing however, that while God loves and accepts us as we are, he loves us too much to leave us as we are. His goal is that we not only become followers of Jesus but that we grow to become whole and mature in every area of life.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see myself as you see me—warts and all—and learn to love and accept myself as you love and accept me so that I am free to grow and become more and more like Christ in every area of my life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 4:15-16 (NLT).

An American visitor in England was driving with a British friend who made a remark about the windscreen of his car needing to be cleaned.

“You mean the windshield, don’t you?” said the American.

“No. Over here, we call it the windscreen,” the Englishman said.

“Then you are wrong,” the American corrected, “because we invented the automobile and we call it a windshield.”

“That is quite true,” countered the Englishman, “but don’t forget who invented the language.”

All of us see things through the lenses shaped and colored by our background. That is, from our perspective. If we would only realize this, many of us wouldn’t be as dogmatic as we sometimes are.

In conflict situations or where there is a difference of opinion we need to say, “This is the way I see it,” and then ask the other person, “And how do you see it?” Not always, but often the truth is somewhere between the two. Remember, too, it is a very insecure person who is dogmatic, never wrong in his own eyes, and consistently has a neurotic need to be right.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to remember that I always see things from my perspective and that others see things from their perspective. Help me always to be willing to look at and genuinely consider others’ point of view, and be ready to see and accept the truth regardless of my personal opinion. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Romans 12:10 (NLT).

Isn’t It Ironic? According to an article I read, “The food stamp program is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever. Meanwhile, the Park Service asks us to ‘please do not feed the animals’ because the animals may grow dependent, and not learn to take care of themselves.”

I couldn’t verify the validity of this statement; regardless, it is a fitting parable. With the way today’s government is handing out free welfare to so many irresponsible people is of great concern. True, we need to help those who want to help themselves but, because of the economy or a physical handicap, simply cannot find or are unable to work. On the other hand, as the Bible teaches, it is imperative that we do not help people who are “unwilling to work.”

The reality is if we feed animals in the wild, they can easily grow dependent on our handouts and neglect to take care of themselves. In so doing we help destroy them. It’s the same with people. And tragically, we know very well that all those who don’t want to work and know that they can get free handouts from the government will always vote to keep that handout government in power.

So it is imperative that you and I, the voters, keep the government responsible and elect only those politicians who have proven by their past record to be responsible. It’s not what they say that counts, but what they have done. The best proof as to what they will do in the future is to look at what they have done in the past.

Furthermore, you and I need to be responsible in how—and for whom—we vote knowing that a critical vote will soon be here in the U.S.A. Know all that you need to know about the ones you vote for, and exactly what they stand for based on what they have done in the past.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that at least here in the U.S.A. we have the privilege to choose and vote for the leaders whom we feel will be the most responsible and the most trusted. Please help me to be responsible in the way that, and for whom, I vote. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 (NIV).

As the ditty goes, “It’s the little things that bother us and put us on the rack, you can sit upon a mountain but you can’t sit on a tack.”

And isn’t that the truth? It’s the little annoyances in life that get us tied in a knot. A slight criticism, a driver who cuts us off on the freeway, a green light that turns red before we get to it, a friend running late, and so on.

Let us realize, however, that somebody’s negative reaction may have more to do with them than us. A criticism may be somebody projecting their unresolved issues onto us. Somebody failing to thank us may indicate that they are having a “bad hair” day, and somebody cutting us off on the freeway may be an indication of their impatience—as well as a reflection of ours!

What somebody else does to me may or may not be a problem. How I react, though, is always my issue, and when I overreact, that is always my problem. What the other person does is their issue. How I act, react, or overreact is always my issue and my responsibility.

If we’d remember that “whatever others think of me is none of my business,” I would at least learn to cope much better with many of life’s little annoyances. I know it’s easier said than done, but it is a goal to work towards. Furthermore, the more mature and whole I become, the less life’s little annoyances will bother me. I’m still working on this issue.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, as it is your purpose for me, please help me to grow through the circumstances of life that ‘push my hot buttons’ and so become more and more like Jesus in every way. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV).

If I fear that I will get sick, dwell on it, and believe it, chances are more than likely that I will get sick. If I fear that I am going to be rejected and believe it, I will act in such a way to set myself up to be rejected and, like Job, the thing I fear will happen to me.

If because of a fear of failure, criticism, of not being perfect, and so on, I never step outside my comfort zone and take risks to achieve what God envisioned for me to do, I will never discover what I could achieve with my life.

Personally speaking, if I feel strongly about a project and sense God is leading me to do this, I would rather try, put it to the test, and even fail rather than through fear of failure never step out to follow my God-given life purpose and dream. I appreciate the words of the unknown poet who wrote:

I would rather stumble a thousand times

Attempting to reach a goal,

Than to sit in a crowd

In my weather-proof shroud

A shriveled and self-satisfied soul.

I would rather be doing and daring

All of my error filled days,

Than watching, and waiting, and dying

Smug in my perfect ways.

I would rather wonder and blunder,

Stumbling blindly ahead,

Than for safety’s sake

Lest I make a mistake

Be sure, be safe, be dead.

As I suggested to a friend recently, let your decisions about what to do be based on love for serving God and others, and never on your fears.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I admit my fears and I bring them all to you. Grant that all of my decisions will be based on direction from and love for serving you, and never on my fears. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Job 3:25 (NIV).

Frank Lloyd Wright, the world-famous architect, tells how a lecture he received at the age of nine helped set his philosophy of life. An uncle, a stolid, no-nonsense type, had taken him for a long walk across a snow-covered field. At the far side, his uncle told him to look back at their two sets of tracks. “See, my boy,” he said, “how your footprints go aimlessly back and forth from those trees, to the cattle, back to the fence then over there where you were throwing sticks? But notice how my path comes straight across, directly to my goal. You should never forget this lesson!” “And I never did,” Wright said. “I determined right then not to miss most things in life as my uncle had.”²

To experience the wonders of life we need to be in touch with all of our God-given emotions—including the emotion of wonder. “Life without emotions,” said one humorist, “would be like playing a trombone with a stuck slide,” which of course would be dreadfully monotonous and boring. The same is true when one’s emotion of wonder is repressed, the effects of which are to be characteristically bored with life.

Emotions are God-given. They are a vital part of living a life with vitality, joy and wonderment. So learn to enjoy the emotion of wonder. Learn to let your hair down more often. Have fun. Hang loose. Go with the flow. Plant a tree. Write a poem. Draw with your non-dominant hand. Tell your spouse and kids how much you love them … tell them now and tell them often. Get out of your ruts. Do something different. Stretch your imagination. Step out of your comfort zone.

As Robert Frost said in his poem, “Road Less Traveled,” “I shall be telling this with a sigh / Somewhere ages and ages hence / Two roads diverged in a wood / And I took the one less traveled by / And that has made all the difference.”

And by the way, being in touch with all of your God-given emotions and using them as God intended is a vital part of being whole and living the abundant life Jesus spoke about. It’s also being authentic. Repressed people are a part of the living dead.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be in touch with all of my God-given emotions and use them as you intended. Help me to be authentic and free, and an open channel through whom your love can freely flow. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV).

2. Gary Swanson, “Living in a Powder Keg,” Focus on the Family, Sept. 1992, p. 14.

Earl Nightingale told how on one National Secretaries Day he gave his secretary flowers and she remarked how beautiful they were. She also said that she couldn’t understand why they didn’t have any scent.

He informed her that the flowers came from a hothouse and explained that because flowers raised in this type of environment have everything done for them, they don’t have to attract insects to pollinate them. As a result they lose their scent. In the same way fruit raised in a hothouse, because it doesn’t need to attract insects to scatter its seeds, doesn’t taste as good as fruit grown in its natural environment.

It’s similar to the child who wanted to help a butterfly out of its cocoon by putting a slit in it and, in so doing, caused it to die. He didn’t realize that the struggle to get out of the cocoon is needed to strengthen the butterfly’s wings so that it is able to fly.

When people do too much for us or overprotect us, especially in our early developmental years, they can do serious harm to us. And even in adulthood it’s the problems and difficulties we have that strengthen us, build character, give wisdom, understanding, and compassion—if we let them. Note, too, that if we ask God to give us wisdom and guidance, he will, but he won’t overprotect us from the things we need to help and make us grow—and to teach us wisdom!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me not to run from my fears, trials, and problems but accept them as opportunities for personal and spiritual growth. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer, Gratefully in Jesus name, amen.”

1. Hebrews 12:6, 10-11 (NIV).