“A national news program conducted a study of fifty people who have lived over 100 years and still lead active, happy lives. . . . The researchers specifically looked for similarities in diet, exercise, lifestyle and habits that could contribute to their longevity and quality of life. What they found was amazing.

“Through an extensive interviewing process, the news team found that some of the participants in this study had what would be considered good diets. An equal number of people were not as healthy in their food choices. Exercise and other areas of lifestyle were also not found to be a common thread throughout the group.

“However, two things were overwhelmingly consistent among over 90 percent of those studied. What were these consistent traits? Nine out of ten said that throughout their entire lives they awoke every morning with an attitude of gratitude for one more day of life and that they saw each day as a precious gift. Secondly, nine out of ten stated that they felt life was too short to hold grudges or spend time complaining, and they forgave people quickly and refused to dwell on negative thoughts.”²

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, when I am faced with a challenge, a setback, a disappointment, a loss, pain, or a difficult circumstance over which I seem to have no control, please help me to genuinely say thank you for the opportunity to grow and for the lessons to be learned, and help me to ‘hear’ what wisdom and guidance you always give to a grateful heart. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV).

2. Larry DiAngi, “Going Beyond Common Miles,” The Magic Is in the Extra Mile, 11-12. Cited on KneEmail, Mike Benson, Editor, http://www.oakhillcoc.org.

Have you ever had a problem, a bad habit, or a relational conflict that you couldn’t overcome or resolve no matter how hard you tried, how much you sought help, and even how much you prayed?

I have. For years I struggled with a relational conflict that I did everything I could think of to resolve—including getting intensive counseling and praying relentlessly.

Finally in utter desperation I prayed, “God, I beg you to show me the truth of what I am still contributing to this situation I am in.”

Almost overnight I got the answer. I saw my super codependency. I hadn’t even heard of the word back then, but what I saw was that because I was trying to fix everybody else’s problems, I was blind to my own! And here I thought I was being a good Christian! Wrong. I was being a needy person; that is, I needed to feel needed in order to feel loved and that, of course, isn’t really love—or it is contaminated love at best—it’s need.

Once I saw the truth of what I was contributing, I knew what I had to do to fix my problem. As Jesus said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.”² I also realized that the only person’s problems I could fix were my own!

Why did it take so long to get my earlier prayers answered? It was because I’d been praying the wrong prayer. I’d been asking for deliverance from the symptoms (the external conflict) and not from the cause of my problem.

As James, in today’s Scripture points out, many of our prayers aren’t answered because our aim is wrong; that is, we pray with false motives for the wrong thing.

True, we need to treat our symptoms, but the reality is God wants to heal the root cause of our problems and make us whole, because if we don’t deal with the root cause/s, we can easily exchange one symptom for another.

So now, whenever I have a conflict or a problem, I always ask God to face or confront me with the truth of what I am contributing to it. Only then do I ask him to show me the truth of what others are contributing, and the truth or reality of the overall situation. The important thing always is to first face the truth about myself.

I have found whenever I pray for truth and mean it, God always answers. It is one of the most effective prayers I have ever prayed. It has changed my life. Often I don’t want to face the truth about myself because I am too afraid, so I also pray, “God I am willing to be made willing to face the truth about me no matter how much it might hurt.”

Not that it’s easy, but praying for truth is a sure-fire way to resolve most conflicts—or at least our part in them.

And when it comes to relationship conflicts, if two people will genuinely own up to their unresolved personal issues and problems (which are often at the root of many, if not most, conflicts), and each ask God to show them what they are contributing, I believe they will be able to resolve most conflicts. Each person needs to mean it with all their heart, otherwise it won’t work.

As God’s Word also says, “The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”³

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me in all my prayers to be honest with myself and honest with you, knowing that when I call on you in truth, you will always hear and answer my prayers. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 4:2-3 (TLB)(NLT).

2. John 8:32.

3. Psalm 145:18.

Ravi Zacharias shared how “during the Cold War, a Christian from the U.S. was visiting Romania. It was a gray, cold day, and all the faces around him reflected that gray, cold atmosphere. But in the midst of the gloom, the Christian man heard someone whistling a tune. It was an old hymn, ‘The Great Physician now is here, the sympathizing Jesus.’

“The Christian man spotted the whistler and began walking alongside him. Because Christians were persecuted by the government, he took care not to publicly identify his allegiance. He simply began whistling the same tune. The Romanian man stopped, a big smile spreading over his face. He pointed to heaven. So did the American man. He pointed to his heart. The American did too. Then he reached out and grabbed the American in a big bear hug. Neither man could speak the other’s language, but they knew instantly that they were brothers in the faith.

“How did these two men from opposite ends of the world, from different cultures and different languages, come to worship a Jewish carpenter? Because someone told the story of Jesus to someone else, who told it to someone else, who told it to someone else, until it reached Jerusalem, and Judea, and Samaria and all the ends of the earth.”²

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please use me today in some way to communicate your love, and in so doing, be a powerful witness to your saving grace in my life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: To help reach out to others with the saving gospel message of Jesus Christ, please join with us as a People Power for Jesus Partner at: www.actsweb.org/people_power.

1. Acts 1:8 (NIV).

2. Ravi Zacharias, Deliver Us From Evil (Nashville: Word Publishing, 1997), pp. 103-104.

Less than a decade ago an openly gay Episcopalian priest was appointed as a bishop in the Episcopal Church—many church members were appalled while others rejoiced. Also, until the court stepped in and put a temporary halt to it, the Mayor of San Francisco became a law unto himself and married numerous gay couples. Many were appalled while others rejoiced.

About this situation Steven Higginbotham wrote: “The door has been cracked opened with regard to the definition of marriage in allowing homosexuals to marry, so now a polygamist in Utah, who has five wives, is appealing bigamy convictions brought against him on the basis of this court ruling. This man’s lawyer is arguing that the decriminalization of homosexual sex is no different than polygamy.”²

So what will come next? Will fornication and adultery also be approved because people can’t help to whom they are attracted? Or what about pedophiles? Will their seduction of children be accepted because they can’t help whom they are attracted to? Will they claim that they were born this way and this therefore justifies their behavior?

That could never happen here we say. Don’t bank on it. Our parents would have sworn that gay marriage would never have been accepted here either. According to Wikipedia Encyclopedia, “Nationwide, five states [in the U.S.] have legalized same-sex marriage as a result of a court ruling, while three others have done so through a vote in their respective state legislatures.”³

No society crashes overnight. It’s like the proverbial drip . . . drip . . . drip of water that eventually wears away the stone, or like the “umpteenth” blow of the hammer that breaks the rock in two. Little by little it’s the relentless drip . . . drip . . . drip by those who oppose all that is godly to justify what they want that ends up having people (including some church people) call good what God calls evil.

What we fail to realize is that we cannot break God’s laws. We can oppose them. We can vote against them. We can disregard them, but we cannot break them. What we break is ourselves against them. As God’s Word says, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil.” It has been said that the only thing we learn from history is that we don’t learn from history.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help those of us who claim to be Christian, which includes me, know what your Word teaches and stand firm upon it and not be lured into the trap of so called ‘political correctness’ and thereby conform to the standards of the world about us. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

NOTE: To support the Institution of Marriage; the Preservation of Religious Liberty; and the Sanctity of Life for future generations, please read and sign the Manhattan Declaration at: http://www.manhattandeclaration.org/home.aspx

1. Isaiah 5:20 (NIV).

2. Steve Higginbotham, “Yesterday’s Fringe, Today’s Center,” South Green Street Church of Christ Weekly Newsletter, Vol. 23, No. 2, Jan. 12, 2004. Cited in KneEmail #594: at http://www.oakhillcoc.org.

3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Same-sex_marriage_in_the_United_States as of February 2, 2010.

A party of tourists was on its way to Palestine and their guide was describing some of the customs of the East.

He was explaining how in England, for example, a shepherd follows the sheep, but in the East the shepherd leads the way and the sheep follow him for they know his voice.

When the tourist group reached Palestine one of the first sights they saw was a flock of sheep not being led by the shepherd but being driven along by the man. The guide, being perplexed, stopped to talk to the shepherd.

“How is it that you are driving these sheep?” he asked. “I have always been told that the Eastern shepherd leads his sheep.”

“You are quite right, sir,” replied the man. “The shepherd does lead his sheep. But you see I’m not the shepherd. I’m the butcher.”²

With so many religious voices today vying for the hearts and minds of adherents, we need to be certain that we know Jesus, the true Shepherd, recognize his voice and follow him. Remember that there are many false prophets that are nothing but “butchers” in sheep’s clothing.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to know for certain that I am committed to Jesus, the true Shepherd. Help me never to stray from him, always know his voice, and follow him. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 10:27 (KJV).

2. Church of God Evangel.

It may be hard to understand, but according to statistics that I have read from both a Christian and a secular standpoint, many people who have either a physical or emotional problem actually don’t want to get well!

“That’s absurd,” I can almost hear some readers saying. “How could a sick person not want to get well?”

Of all those who go to see a physician or a counselor with a problem, approximately 25 percent don’t want to get well. They want people’s sympathy, they want to be taken care of, and some even want to die.

Another 50 percent want the counselor or doctor to fix or heal them. As one doctor said, “Half of my patients would rather I operate on their body than they operate on their lifestyle!”

And only one in four actually accepts responsibility for his/her well-being and does everything he/she can to follow the doctor or counselor’s guidance. These are the ones who are committed to getting well. They are the ones who want to get well—and are most likely to do so!

Perhaps this is why Jesus said words like, “Do you want to get well?” “Do you want to be made whole?” “What do you want me to do for you?”

God will bend the heavens to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. That’s why he sent Jesus to die for our sins. But he won’t do anything for us that we can and need to do for ourselves—otherwise he would be keeping us over-dependent and immature. But as long as we want what is right for us, God will always do his part when we do our part.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me the want to be made whole, the want to get well, the want to be what you want me to be, and the want to do what you want me to do. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

P.S. What do you “want” Jesus to do for you?

1. John 5:5-6 (NIV).

An amusing thing happened on one occasion in the renowned Rose Parade in Pasadena in Southern California. One beautifully decorated float suddenly came to a standstill. It ran out of fuel!

The irony was that this float was entered by and represented the Standard Oil Company—one of the large fuel companies of North America. With all their vast oil and gasoline (petrol) resources, they failed to make sure their own vehicle was running on full.

I wonder how often we as Christians, with all the vast resources of God and heaven at our disposal, run on an empty love, joy, and peace tank when, if we truly trusted God and followed his instructions for getting these needs met, we could be certain to keep “topped up.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to know the peace that only you can give and grant that my love cup will be filled to overflowing and splash over onto every life I touch. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 4:13-14 (NIV).

Curtis and Paul Jones wrote how, on a bitterly cold day in a western city, a small boy stood shivering on a steel grate in the sidewalk. He was very poorly dressed and obviously a child of the street. A well-dressed woman passerby noticed the lad and began to talk to him. Sensing his need, she took him to a clothing store and had him completely outfitted suitable for the weather—including cap, scarf, and gloves.

The lad was so grateful he couldn’t thank her enough. As they parted he turned back to ask, “Are you God’s mother?”

Surprised, the woman replied, “Oh, no! I’m just a child of God.”

Whereupon the smiling lad remarked, “I knew you were related.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to reflect your love so that the beauty of Jesus will be seen in me—always in all ways. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (TLB)(NLT).

A family on vacation were driving along in their car, windows rolled down, enjoying the cool breeze of the warm, summer’s day. All of a sudden a bee darted in the window and started buzzing around inside the car. A little girl, highly allergic to bee stings, cringed in the back seat. If she were stung, she could be in serious trouble.

“Oh, Daddy,” she screeched in terror, “It’s a bee! It’s going to sting me!”

The father pulled the car over to a stop, and reached back to try to catch the bee. Buzzing towards him, the bee bumped against the front windscreen where the father trapped it in his fist. Holding it in his closed hand, the father waited for the inevitable sting. In pain from the sting, the father let go of the bee.

With the bee loose in the car again the little girl panicked. “Daddy, it’s going to sting me!” The father gently said, “No, honey, he’s not going to sting you now. Look at my hand.” He showed her the bee’s stinger in his hand.”²

And that’s exactly what Jesus did for us on the cross. He took the sting of death for us … as the songwriter put it, “You will know him by the nail prints in his hands.” And as the Bible says, “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that when Jesus was nailed to the cross in my place to die for my sins, he took the sting out of death and gave us victory over it for all eternity. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: If you have never accepted God’s gift of forgiveness and his gift of eternal life, be sure to read, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

1. 1 Corinthians 15:55 (NIV).

2. Author unknown. Cited in Encounter magazine (Australian edition), Jan/Feb 2004.

Have you noticed that whenever God has a work to be done on Earth, he so often chooses an individual to get his work started and achieved? Think of Abraham, Moses, Joshua, Samuel, Mary, Peter, Paul, etc. The good news is that God, today, still chooses and uses individuals to accomplish his work on Earth.

Furthermore, throughout history, one person has made an incredible impact with his or her life. I’ve shared this before, but as the unknown poet said:

One song can spark a moment,

One flower can wake the dream.

One tree can start a forest,

One bird can herald spring.

One smile begins a friendship,

One handclasp lifts a soul.

One star can guide a ship at sea,

One word can frame the goal.

One vote can change a nation,

One sunbeam can light a room.

One candle can wipe out darkness,

One laugh will conquer gloom.

One step must start each journey,

One word must start each prayer.

One hope will raise our spirits,

One touch can show you care.

One voice can speak with wisdom,

One heart can know what’s true.

One life can make the difference,

You see, it’s up to you and me.

To get God’s work done on Earth, “if it’s going to be, it will be up to YOU and ME!”

As Edward Everett Hale so eloquently said, “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”

Let’s never forget how very important you and I are to God in our world. “When many people each do a little, together we can accomplish great feats for God.”

Again, most of God’s work on Earth has been started by one person. Will you be one that God is looking for today to have a share in doing his work in your world?

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I’m available. I say yes to you today to be one that you are looking for to use in my world. Please use me to be a part of your plans to help spread the gospel in the world in which I live. Please make me usable and use me to be as Jesus in some way to every life I touch this day. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Romans 1:16 (NIV).

Note: For helps to reach others for Christ see: “Tips on how to be an effective People Power for Jesus Partner to help change the world—one person at a time” at www.actsweb.org/people_power/tips.php