The first connection every child has is with mother. It starts in the womb and as the newborn child is in his or her mother’s arms (and especially on her breasts) that connection or bonding is reinforced. Unfortunately, the child who doesn’t have healthy bonding in those early years is being programmed for life-long problems unless he goes through recovery. If the child feels no bonding at all, he can die.

Connection and bonding in loving relationships are essential for our entire lifetime. We cannot live healthily without this kind of relationships. As counselors tell us, we cannot not be bonded. Thus, if we are not bonded in healthy ways to healthy people, we will be bonded in unhealthy ways. For example, some people stay in very unhealthy and toxic relationships for fear of being isolated and not connected to someone. Others, if not bonded to people, may be bonded to their work, gambling, drugs, alcohol, sex, or material possessions and so on.

Healthy bonding needs to be a priority of every individual and should be available in every family and every church. If you can’t find it where you are, look for a healthy church where you can get connected in an open, honest, support group. Or find it with some open, non-judgmental healthy friends. If necessary, find it in a recovery or twelve-step group. Healthy bonding and connection to healthy people is essential for healthy, wholesome, and meaningful living.

As the Bible reminds us, the company we keep affects our life.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to find at least one safe soul-brother/sister with whom I can be totally open and honest, connected, and bonded in a healthy way, and in so doing help me to stay connected and bonded to you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Corinthians 15:33 (NIV).