All posts by 5Q

Whatever Happened to Old-Fashioned Courtesy?

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“Don’t just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy in your work, but serve the Lord enthusiastically.”1

It has been said that the job of the preacher is to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable! So here goes!

I often hold the door open for people when entering or exiting a restaurant or store—be it for a woman or a man, the young or the old, a boy or a girl. Most are appreciative and say thank you, but quite a few don’t bother to say anything. I’m often tempted to say, “You’re welcome,” anyhow, but bite my tongue.

And it never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me via email to do something for them without saying please, thank you, or anything courteous—not to mention drivers who cut in front of you on the highway, etc., etc.

Or like I’ve said before about the many people who just leave their shopping cart out in the parking lot for someone else to put away … some even leave them in car parking spaces. And what about people who throw their garbage out of their car window and litter the magnificent highways we are so privileged to have, at least where I live? And what about those who dump their empty beer and soft drink cans and trash along hiking trails in our beautiful forest and mountain areas?

I can’t help but wonder how these self-centered, thoughtless folk act at home?

Whatever happened to old-fashioned courtesy—thinking of others, saying please and thank you, cleaning up our own messes, picking things up after ourselves, and fixing what we break?

In the early church Christians were known for their love for one another. Would to God that this were true today. Love is always expressed, not in what we say or in what we believe in, but in what we do and how we treat others. And I don’t think we can have love without courtesy and thoughtfulness towards others. Furthermore, it’s the little things—not the big things we do—that define who we really are.

Let’s make sure we reflect the love of God and Spirit of Christ in everything we do and say. “WWJD—what would Jesus do?” is still a good principle by which to live.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, again today I pray, please help me to be as Jesus to every life I touch and give me the wisdom to know what you would do in situations where I am not sure how to act. May I be known for my love and concern for others and always be Christ-like and courteous in every situation. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Romans 12:9-11 (NLT).

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Does Jesus Care?

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“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”1

“Dear Dick,” a reader writes, “Your Daily Encounter, ‘Living with a Challenge,’ has really inspired me. Less than a week ago the bombshell dropped. My adult son, Jim, has the HIV virus. He was released from the hospital yesterday, but without any kind of counseling help.

“We don’t even know how to begin to cope. He has a teen-age daughter and a seven-year-old son. He is terrified of being rejected even by our family. I think the hardest part is his not wanting to lie to anyone about his illness, but not wanting to share it with anyone because of the terrible stigma attached. Just yesterday with fear and trepidation he asked if he could come and see me to spend a little time together for my birthday. Please could you pray for us?”

Dear Jennifer (not her real name), how incredibly sad for Jim, you, his children, and your entire family. I grieve with you. While we don’t know how Jim contracted this dreaded disease, if it were through immoral behavior, we need to remember what D.L. Moody once said when he saw a drunken skid row alcoholic lying in the gutter, “But for the grace of God there go I.”

Having said that, the words of an old hymn, written many years ago by Frank E. Graeff, come to my mind:

Does Jesus care?

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained

Too deeply for mirth and song;

As the burdens press, and the cares distress,

And the way grows weary and long?

Oh yes he cares;

I know he cares,

His heart is touched with my grief;

When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,

I know my Savior cares.

While we must never condone sin, it is very important that we never reject repentant sinners. Jesus always hated sin because it destroys those whom God loves, but he always loved the sinner. We need to do the same for it is only by the grace of God that we haven’t fallen into destructive sins.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please be with Jim, Jennifer, Jim’s children and the entire family. May they, and all who might be in a similar situation, look to you in their hour of deepest need, and sense your loving presence. No matter what the circumstances, may they know that your grace is sufficient to cover all that has happened in the past, and may they know that you care deeply. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Hebrews 4:15-16 (NIV).

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Sunk in a Sink Hole

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“One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, ‘Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?’”1

“In December 1985 an enormous sinkhole swallowed a house and carport and forced the evacuation of four homes in a retirement community in Florida. The hole was about the size of a pickup truck when it was discovered. Within three hours it had grown to 30 by 40 feet and had swallowed half of a small house. Two hours later it had expanded to more than 70 feet, and the house with its carport was gone. Authorities were grateful that it finally stopped growing without doing even more damage.

“David discovered that sin is like an ever-expanding sinkhole. As he was walking on the flat roof of his palace, he saw a beautiful woman bathing. Instead of turning away, he stared longingly at her. At this point the sinkhole was small but expanding. When he inquired about who she was, the hole grew larger. And finally, when he sent for her, he soon found himself and those around him swallowed up. What started out as only a look ended in tragedy for all involved.”2

Many people, like David, find themselves falling into the sinkhole of temptation because they leave the door open for temptation to enter.

Temptation works the same for all of us. It’s progressive. It can start with an innocent look, then a thought, and then if we linger longer on the look, the thought progresses to desire, then to becoming blind to reality and fooling ourselves into rationalizing that it won’t hurt, and then to yielding. Following this pathway can quickly lead one into the sinkhole of sin as well as despair.

To overcome temptation we need to realize how vulnerable we are to the pull that temptation has on us. When temptation knocks on your door, ask Jesus to answer the door. Also, as God’s Word says, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men [and women] of courage; be strong.”3 And again, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”.4 “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”5

I also find that when tempting thoughts knock on “the door of my mind,” I realize that I need to take control of my thinking and pray, “Help, Jesus, help,” and keep saying, “Jesus Christ is Lord. Jesus Christ is Lord of my life,” until the chain of tempting thoughts is broken.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, may I never forget that I, like David, am just as open to temptation as he was. Please help me to call on you in the hour or even the moment of temptation, and give me the strength to resist the devil so that he will flee from me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Samuel 11:2-3 (NIV).

2. “Lessons on Living,” Back To the Bible. www.backtothebible.org.

3. 1 Corinthians 16:13 (NIV).

4. 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV).

5. James 4:7 (NIV).

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No Fear—No Kidding

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“Do not be afraid, Paul. You must stand trial before Caesar; and God has graciously given you the lives of all who sail with you.”1

A common question asked in motivational seminars is: “If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do with your life?”

Participants imagine all sorts of things: take flying lessons … write a book … travel around the world … start a business … learn to play a musical instrument … make pottery, and so on.

Think of Martin Luther King’s life-transforming, world-impacting statement: “I have a dream.” And while King didn’t live to see his dream fulfilled, his dream and what he started made a powerful impact on his world and helped change the world for every American. The fears he and his family faced from constant harassment and threats on his life would have overwhelmed all but the bravest of souls. However, it was his dream that overcame his fears and caused him even in death to triumph.

Remember, it’s normal to be afraid. Most of us struggle with fear from time to time. It’s part of the human condition. The important thing is not to deny one’s fears but to acknowledge them, and not allow them to control us. As one author put it, “Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

If the fear of failure were removed, what would you really like to do? Whether it’s something small or something major doesn’t matter. What is your dream, or better still, what is God’s dream for you? And what will you do about it? Will you choose to allow your fear to control you? Or, with God’s help, will you allow your dream to control your fear?

Remember too, that it’s okay to fail in attempting to reach a goal. Failures are par for the course. In many ways they are our greatest teacher. The only real failure is not to get up one more time than we fall down—and to give up on our dream. Remember, too, failure is an event not a person. Know your dream. Trust God and put your dream in charge of your fears and, in time, as you step out in faith to begin to fulfill you dream, you will be able to say, “No fear. No kidding. That is, fear no longer has control over me!”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to know my God-given life purpose and to make that my dream. Please give me the courage to step out in faith to begin fulfilling my dream—today. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Acts 27:24 (NIV).

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Superman Who?

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“When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, ‘Here is a true Israelite, in whom there is nothing false.’” 1

I read how Ray, an energetic three-year-old, liked to play being Superman. Each morning he would have his mother pin a bath towel to the back of his T-shirt and off he’d go imagining he was wearing the magic blue and red cape pretending he was Superman. In his mind he came to believe he was Superman.

Then came kindergarten. When the teacher asked Ray for his name, he replied, “Superman.” Trying to hide her amusement she asked again, “I need to know your real name.” Again he replied in all sincerity, “Superman.”

The teacher, still trying to hide her amusement, got down to Ray’s level and, looking squarely into Ray’s eyes, said quite firmly, “I need to know your real name. What is it?”

Little Ray looked around the room, making sure no one was listening and, leaning close to the teacher, whispered in her ear, “I’m Clark Kent.”

We smile at a child’s innocence and make-believe world. But in reality some of us, afraid of being known for who we truly are, have hidden behind a pretend-mask for so long that we have come to believe that the role we play is the real us. In doing so, we fail to realize that the loneliness we struggle with is caused by our living in a make-believe world, neither knowing who we are or being known for who we are. For we can only ever be loved and connected to other loving people to the degree that we are known. Masks can’t be loved. Only real people can be loved.

Let’s learn to be like Nathanial about whom Jesus said when he first saw him, “Here comes a man in whom there is nothing false.” Or in our language, “Here comes an honest man.”

Suggested prayer, “Dear God, please help me to see any areas of my life where I am hiding or whatever things in my life I am hiding from. Help me to be honest with myself, with you, and with at least one trusted and loving friend. Help me to be real so I can truly love and be loved. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 1:47 (NIV).

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P-A-T Decision Making

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“And he [Abraham's servant] said, ‘Blessed be the LORD God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken His mercy and His truth toward my master. As for me, being on the way, the LORD led me to the house of my master’s brethren.’”1

One of my favorite questions to ask seminar participants is: “How many have a difficult time making decisions?”

It’s interesting to see how many hands are raised. The most common reason is a fear of making a wrong decision. Unfortunately, many opportunities are lost because of a failure to make a decision—which is itself a decision; that is, a decision not to make a decision! That can be a bad decision because, as a general rule, “Opportunities come to pass—not to pause.”

One man said to me not so long ago, “I don’t know where I’m going [with my life], but I’m in a hurry to get there.” His problem seems to be his fear or reluctance to make decisions. So at the moment he appears to be going nowhere fast.

Some times I joke by saying that I wish God was on e-mail so I could get his leading real fast. Knowing that is not being realistic, every day I commit and trust my life and way to God, asking for his guidance in all that I do, and trust him to guide me and I act accordingly.

I like what Abraham’s servant said when he was sent to find a bride for Isaac: “I being in the way the Lord led me.”2 That is, as the servant did his part, God did his.

I can’t recall God ever leading me when I sat back and did nothing. When I trust God and act on the information I have (as little as that may be), he always opens the door to the next step—for me it’s usually just one step at a time. Maybe, just maybe, if I saw God’s entire plan ahead of time, I may be too afraid to take the first step. But I can trust God and handle one step at a time. When I first thought about writing a book, it seemed like an impossible task. A friend suggested I think of writing just one page at a time. I knew I could handle that. All we need to do is make the decision to take the first step. As another has said, “Beginning is half-done.”

And as another has suggested, use the PAT method for making decisions; that is, Pray–Act–Trust!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me the insight to discern your leading and step out in faith trusting you to guide me one step at a time. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Genesis 24:27 (NKJV).

2. Genesis 24:27 (KJV).

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A Unique Way to Pray

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“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”1

Terry tells how she “was in the habit of praying very specifically for what she wanted. She told God in great detail about the kind of job, the kind of husband, the kind of life that she envisioned for herself. And Terry was frequently frustrated. But one day, Terry’s friend suggested that she try a different tack. ‘Give God a blank sheet of paper,’ the friend suggested, ‘and let God give you his list for your life.’

“Not long afterwards, Terry went back to school—something she hadn’t anticipated doing. And she met a wonderful new man, whom she eventually married. He didn’t fit the criteria of her earlier lists, but he was everything she wanted in a husband. When Terry turned her life over to God’s will, God provided for her needs in ways she couldn’t have imagined.”2

Another excellent way to pray is—taking off on the famous quote by JFK—“Ask not what God can do for you but rather, what can you do for God—today?”

Suggested Prayer: “Dear God, in light of all that you have done for me, what can I do for you today? Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Philippians 4:6 (NKJV).

2. Terry Fitzgerald Sieck, found in Stories of God’s Abundance for a More Joyful Life (Lancaster, PA: Starburst Publishers, 1999), pp. 196-198.

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Angry at God, Part II

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“And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son [Jesus]. He who has the Son has life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have life. I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life.”1

Is it okay to be angry at God? Yes, we said in yesterdays Daily Encounter, but we need to resolve angry feelings along with our grief; otherwise, in the long run, we only hurt ourselves.

Fourth, the question was also asked, is my daughter, who was killed in a car accident, in heaven with God even though she had strayed from him for a season?

In addressing this grief-stricken mother, the answer to her question, “Is my daughter with God in heaven right now?” is a very understandable question at such a time. The good news is that none of us gets into heaven on the basis of what we have or haven’t done. We get into heaven by the grace of God—and on the basis of what Jesus has done for us in that he died to pay the penalty for all our sins—and believing and accepting this. Because your daughter trusted in Jesus as her Savior, she is safe in heaven and you will see her again and be together forever.

As today’s Scripture assures us, if we have accepted God’s Son, Jesus, as our Savior, we can know that we know that we know that we and our loved ones who have also accepted Jesus will be with God in Heaven forever.

Fifth, getting back to your grief, if you can’t seem to resolve it, I urge you to seek professional counseling to help you work through your pain. If you live in North America and would like the name and phone number of a Christian counselor in your area, call the Narramore Christian Foundation at 1-800-477-5893 and press 1 for Dianne and she will help you.

Sixth, every day be sure to commit and trust your life and way to God no matter how you feel … and keep telling God exactly how you feel. He knows, he understands, and he cares. And keep saying out loud in a private place, “I choose to trust you God … I choose to trust you God ….” When you keep doing this, in time your feelings will catch up with your choice to trust in God.

Seventh, give yourself time to heal. Broken arms heal in six weeks. Broken hearts take much, much longer.

Finally, remember that God is with you no matter what and he will never leave you or forsake you. Never. That’s his promise to you and to all believers.2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the assurance in that all who have put their trust in you and have accepted your Son, Jesus, as their savior will spend eternity in heaven with you. And whenever I face heartbreaking disappointments, help me to remember that while these may be allowed by you, they are not caused by you. And help me always to resolve feelings of anger and grief and not bottle them up. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 John 5:11-13 (NIV).

2. See Hebrews 13:5.

NOTE: For further help see the article, “Grief and Loss Recovery” at: http://tinyurl.com/7l5xd.

The book, How to Mend a Broken Heart might also be very helpful. You can check it out at www.actscom.com/store.

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Angry at God, Part I

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“But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal well with me for your name’s sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. I fade away like an evening shadow; I am shaken off like a locust. Help me, O LORD my God; save me in accordance with your love.”1

“Dear Mr. Innes,” a Daily Encounter reader writes, “we lost our daughter in a car accident less than a year ago. She was only 18 and we are having a difficult time accepting God’s will. I am so very angry at him. It is a terrifying feeling, like a black hole with no bottom. Do you have anything that will help us accept what has happened and let go of the rage and sense of helplessness? Our daughter was a Christian but had strayed from God, but she had come back to him and turned her life around before she was killed. I have been tormented for months and want to know if she is in heaven with the Lord.”

Dear Norma (name changed), how terribly sad for you regarding the loss of your daughter. I would be brokenhearted too. At times like this it is difficult to know what to say.

First, however, let me say that a lot of things that happen are not God’s will. He has a directive will and a permissive will. Your daughter’s death was in God’s permissive will in that we live in a broken world where it “rains on the just as well as the unjust.” That is, because we live in a broken world, we all suffer in this life and won’t be freed from suffering until we get to heaven. While God allows things to happen, he doesn’t cause all of them.

Second, it’s okay to be angry at God but it’s not okay to stay angry because that only hurts you. God knows how you feel so the best thing to do is to tell him exactly how you feel and get it off your chest. Angry feelings need to be expressed. If necessary, go to a private safe place alone in your car. Turn your radio up loud, wind up your windows and verbalize all those angry feelings to God in all their intensity. It can help to do this say for 30 days … for 30 minutes the first day, 29 minutes the second day, 28 minutes the third day and so on.

If you don’t feel free to verbalize your feelings, write them out in a letter to God. Then read the letter back to him day after day until your anger has dissipated. Then you can either tear the letter up or burn it as a way of giving up your anger.

Third, grief needs to be sobbed out—sobbed out from the depths of your being—from your very gut. Tears are not for resolving anger. They are God’s gift to drain the pain of grief. Keep in mind, too, that “every unshed tear is a prism through which all of life’s hurts are distorted.”

Is your daughter with God in Heaven? See tomorrow’s Daily Encounter for an answer to this question.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that in the tragedies of life you know, you care, and you understand. Please help me to understand why bad things often happen to good people, and lead me to the help I need to overcome my anger towards you, and to resolve my grief over the loss of my daughter. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Psalm 109:21-23, 26 (NIV).

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Stress Management

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“Then Jesus said [to his disciples], ‘Let’s get away from the crowds for a while and rest.’ There were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.”1

I read about a lecturer who, when teaching on stress management, raised a glass of water and asked the audience, “How heavy is this glass of water?” Numerous guesses were suggested.

“What it weighs doesn’t matter,” the lecturer replied. “What matters is how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that’s no problem. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will ache terribly. And if I hold it for a day, I’ll be in real trouble. The longer I hold it the ‘heavier’ it becomes.”

That’s true in life. If we keep working without a break, eventually we will break. And if we keep carrying a burden that is too heavy to bear without doing something about it, sooner or later the burden will break us. Stress needs to be managed—without which it can become a killer.

Like Jesus and his disciples, there are times when we need to come apart and rest a while before we come apart.

Learn to take breaks. Rest a while. Then you will be able to renew your strength and carry on.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the example set by Jesus in that we, too, need to take breaks to be refreshed. Help me to not only hear your advice but accept and put it into practice. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

For further help read, “Turning Stress into Success” online at: Turning Stress into Success: http://tinyurl.com/stress007.

1. Mark 6:31 (NLT).

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