All posts by 5Q

Remember

Leave a comment

Scripture: “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.”1

Leo Buscaglia wrote, “There was a girl who gave me a poem, and she gave me permission to share it with you, and I want to do that because it explains about putting off and putting off and putting off—especially putting off caring about people we really love. She wants to remain anonymous, but she calls the poem, “Things You Didn’t Do,” that said the following:

Remember the day I borrowed your brand new car and I dented it?

I thought you’d kill me, but you didn’t. And remember the time I dragged you to the beach and you said it would rain, and it did?

I thought you’d say, “I told you so,” but you didn’t. Do you remember the time I flirted with all the guys to make you jealous, and you were?

I thought you’d leave me, but you didn’t. Do you remember the time I spilled strawberry pie all over your car rug? I thought you’d hit me, but you didn’t.

And remember the time I forgot to tell you the dance was formal and you showed up in jeans? I thought you’d drop me, but you didn’t.

Yes, there were lots of things you didn’t do. But you put up with me, and you loved me, and you protected me. There were lots of things I wanted to make up to you when you returned from Viet Nam. But you didn’t.2

Is there something you need to do today for someone you care about—something that you’ve been putting off for too long? Why not do it today?

Also, is there someone who needs to put his or her life right with God? You know who you are. Be sure to do this today. And is there a reader who needs to accept God’s forgiveness. If so, be sure to read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” online at: www.actsweb.org/christian. Remember that “now is the accepted time … now is the day of salvation.”1 The fact is that none of us has any guarantee of tomorrow.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that your Word reminds us that ‘now is the day of salvation.’ Please give me the courage to do what I need to do and to do it today. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 6:2 (NLT).

2. Author Unknown

<:))))><

Masculinity

Leave a comment

“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.”1

“Dear Dick,” a reader writes, “I am a single 38-year-old woman and many people ask why I’m not married? I tell them, ‘I just haven’t found the right one yet.’ However, if I find someone like my dad who was warm and open and a real gentleman, I will have a change in plans. Such men are a rare find in these times.”

Dear Jessica (name changed), I’ve taught seminars on relationships for a number of years, and one of the most repeated questions I am asked by both single and married women is, “Where are the men who understand my feelings and express theirs; that is, who can communicate at a feeling level?”

Sadly, our Western culture has by and large conditioned men pretty much to be in denial regarding our inner self (our feelings and motives). It happens to a lesser degree with women, but we certainly need a totally different view of what true manhood and masculinity is. For a starter, regarding men my belief is that one of our greatest strengths is to admit our weaknesses (then we can do something about them), and that being macho (pretending to be strong) has nothing to do with masculinity. Being macho is a symptom of being out of touch with our inner self (feelings and motives), and is one of our biggest weaknesses, and a cover-up and denial of our insecurity.

Genuine masculinity and true strength start with being ruthlessly honest with our inner feelings and motives. Admittedly, this can be like learning a whole new language, but learn it we must if we want to communicate effectively with our wife, children, and close friends and therein greatly enhance our relationships.

Masculinity also involves being courteous, kind, loving, warm, gentle, non-controlling, exercising tough love when called for, and just plain being real. In other words it means being like Jesus. We can learn a lot about him by studying the Gospels and noting how Jesus related to others; how he dealt with people who ripped off others, and with hypocrisy, which he condemned vigorously. One thing is certain, Jesus was always real.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me in all of life to speak truly, deal truly, and live truly so that I will become more and more in every way like Jesus—an authentic Christian gentleman. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Psalm 51:6 (NIV).

<:))))><

Your Key Is Still in the Ignition

Leave a comment

“The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.”1

Some time ago I read the following story in Focus on the Family magazine about a man who bought a car that had replaced warning lights with spoken instructions from a woman.

In a soft voice, his little woman, as he called her, would say, “Your door isn’t closed properly.” “Your key is still in the ignition.” “Your seatbelt isn’t fastened properly.”

On one occasion, he recalled how the voice of his little woman said, “Your fuel level is getting low.”

The driver thanked her and, figuring he had sufficient fuel to take him fifty more miles, ignored the voice and kept driving. Soon his little woman repeated, “Your fuel level is low.” The longer he drove, the more his little woman repeated her warning.

Getting frustrated, he stopped his car, searched under the dashboard, and found the appropriate wires. One quick jerk and his little woman was silenced.

Imagine the look on his face when, a few minutes later, his car sputtered and jerked to a standstill—out of fuel! One could almost imagine a grin on his little woman’s face!

We all have a little voice within. It’s called conscience. It can get very annoying at times, too. Sometimes we “pull its wires” and, too late, we discover we are “out of fuel.”

One danger, when we ignore the voice of our conscience and don’t live according to our convictions, is that our mind experiences what counselors call “cognitive dissonance.” That is, mental disharmony. Because this is too uncomfortable to live with, we switch off our conscience.

When we do this often enough, our mind not only switches off the voice of conscience but turns up the volume on the voice of rationalization and justification.

The sad fact is that if we don’t live the life we believe, we end up unhappily believing the life we live. The Bible calls this having a seared conscience. It is a dangerous and self-destructive path to follow.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to realize the danger of switching off the voice of conscience and justifying what I want to do. Please help me to live the life I believe—a life that is lived in harmony with your will and your Word. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Timothy 4:1-2 (NIV).

<:))))><

True Riches

Leave a comment

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”1

Today’s Daily Encounter is told by Henry Gariepy.

A rich man named Carl loved to ride his horse through his vast estate to congratulate himself on his wealth. One day on such a ride, he came on Hans, an old tenant farmer who had sat down to eat his lunch in the shade of a great oak tree. Hans’ head was bowed in prayer. When Hans looked up, he said, “Oh, excuse me, Sir. I didn’t see you. I was giving thanks for my food.”

“Hmph!” snorted the rich man, Carl. He noticed the coarse dark bread and cheese which made up the old man’s lunch. “If that were all I had to eat, I don’t think I would feel like giving thanks.”

“Oh,” replied Hans, “it is quite sufficient. But it is remarkable that you should come by today, Sir. I feel I should tell you, I had a strange dream just before awakening this morning.”

“And what did you dream?” Carl asked with an amused smile. The old man answered, “There was beauty and peace all around, and yet I could hear a voice saying, ‘The richest man in the valley will die tonight.’”

“Dreams!” cried Carl. “Nonsense!” He turned and galloped away. Hans prayed as he watched horse and rider disappear.

Die tonight, mused Carl. It’s ridiculous, of course! No use my going into a panic. The best thing to do about the old man’s dream is to forget it. But he couldn’t forget it. He had felt fine, at least until Hans described his stupid dream. Now he didn’t feel too well. That evening he called his doctor, who was also a personal friend. “Could you come over?” he asked. “I need to talk to you.” When the doctor arrived, Carl told him the old man’s dream—how the richest man in the valley would die that night.

“Sounds like poppycock to me,” the doctor said, “but for your peace of mind, let’s examine you.”

A little later, his examination complete, the doctor was full of assurances. “Carl, you’re as strong and healthy as that horse of yours. There’s no way you’re going to die tonight.” Carl thanked his friend and told him how foolish he felt for being upset by an old man’s dream.

It was about 9 A.M. when a messenger arrived at Carl’s door. “It’s old Hans,” the messenger said. “He died last night in his sleep.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to live with eternal values in mind and become rich in the eyes of heaven regardless of whether I am rich or poor in the eyes of man. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: To be sure you are ready for the day when you will meet your Maker, be sure to read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious” online at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

1. Jesus in Matthew 6:19-20 (NIV).

2. This story is told by Henry Gariepy in Portraits of Perseverance, (Wheaton, Illinois: Victor Books, 1989).

<:))))><

Healthy Parenting and Partnering

Leave a comment

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”1

I read recently about a man who said, “I failed my son when he needed me most. I was under a great strain from a workload I seemed unable to escape. A gulf came between me and my son, and when I recognized it, it was too late. I have never been able to regain communication. I failed God as well as my son.”

In our dreadfully materialistic culture in the Western world, far too many parents (who are on the obsessive merry-go-round of what the secular world calls success) try to buy off their kids with endless things, and/or get them involved in endless activities so they don’t have to spend time with them.

In some of America’s most affluent class, madness reigns. Super wealthy parents can give their kids “an ‘Atherton Castle’ [that] comes with a two-story, seven-foot-square ‘fort,’ and a ten-foot bridge that connects to another five-level fort with a ‘crazy bar’ climb—all for only $54,600. If that price seems steep, there’s a ‘pirate’s haunt’ for only $35,000.”2 There’s far higher priced models too.

We, including our children, were created for relationships with each other—not with things. We all need to be bonded to people, without which we live together alone apart and consequently suffer from emotional malnutrition and die a little every day.

What kid needs any gift—be it large or small—without the loving emotional connection to his mom and dad? More than anything else our kids need our presence, to be with them, listen to them, be kind to them, care about them, help them, and communicate to them through word and deed that we truly love them. If a child doesn’t feel loved, he/she is heading for major problems somewhere down the road—and it may be just around the corner.

And by the way, our spouses have exactly the same need. I have a friend from back home who, when her husband was climbing the ladder of success, used to say, “My husband gives me everything I want … except himself.” Needless to say their marriage failed.

When we try to pay off our kids with things and our wives with expensive jewelry and the like, we wonder why our kids get into serious trouble and our spouses have emotional or physical breakdowns and/or get involved in an affair. I had another friend who, when going through chemotherapy, said, “I know why I have cancer. I’m dying of loneliness in my marriage.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to love my spouse and my children as you love me, and help me to make them, as well as my relationship to you, my number one priority in life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Timothy 5:8 (NASB).

2. Quoted on Breakpoint with Chuck Colson, Feb 25, 2005.

<:))))><

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate

Leave a comment

“But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’”1

Not so long ago two of my sisters and a brother-in-law from Australia visited us here in California. John, my brother-in-law came down with a heavy cold and was feeling lousy. He went to a local pharmacy to get some medication—or to try to get some. He spoke to the pharmacist (chemist, as he called him) and said in his heavy Aussie accent, “I have a dreadful cold and need some medicine todie.”

“I beg your pardon,” replied the pharmacist, “you want what?”

“I want some medicine todie.”

“I can’t do that for you,” the pharmacist declared.

“But I’m feeling very sick and need help todie,” John repeated, and for the life of him he couldn’t understand why the pharmacist wouldn’t help him. John ended up walking out of the pharmacy and came home very frustrated.

John and the pharmacist were both speaking the same language but neither one understood the other. When John, with his heavy Australian accent, said, “I need help todie,” translated into American he was actually saying, “I need help today.”

Needless to say when we “translated” for him, we all had a fit of laughter.

In relationships however, miscommunication can be the cause of considerable misunderstanding and conflict. Two partners or friends may be saying the same thing but each interprets it differently. When Joy and I have a disagreement (which is rare), it is almost always a communication problem. We misinterpret what the other had said. We think that what we think is what the other was thinking when they didn’t say what we thought they said and didn’t know what they were thinking. That’s how confusing miscommunication can be.

So … three keys for effective relationships are: (1) communication, (2) communication, and (3) communication.

So again … all of us (including myself) need to stick to the old remedy by counting to ten before we fly off the handle when we are upset by what another has said. Before jumping to a wrong conclusion, ask, “I’m confused, did I hear you correctly?” Explain what you heard, and then ask, “Is this what you meant? If not, will you please explain so I don’t misunderstand you?”

We have only communicated effectively when the listener interprets in his/her thinking as close as possible to what we meant in what we said. Something we all need to work on when communicating.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that even when I don’t get my words right, you understand what my heart is saying. Please help me to do likewise with all my loved ones and friends. Help me, not only to be a good communicator in what I say, but also a good listener and in close relationships always listen with my heart as well as with my head. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 5:37 (NKJV).

<:))))><

Trust

Leave a comment

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’”1

Speaking of dreams, rock-climbing definitely is not a dream of mine. I’ve seen rock climbers scale the face of El Capitan in the magnificent Yosemite National Park in California. The thought of my doing what they are doing terrifies me. What if they fell? It can happen. Imagine the terror that rock climber, Lynn Hill, experienced in May of 1989 when scaling a cliff face in France. As she reached the top of a 72-foot ledge, she leaned back into her harness to take a rest—and her rope didn’t hold. She hurtled backwards into space. Amazingly, she survived the fall. She shared this in her autobiography, Climbing Free.

Hill was an experienced rock climber and relied fully on her equipment. Her experience, however, is a powerful reminder of the dangers of putting our trust into something that can fail.2

Think of all the people who held stock in companies such as Enron. Thousands thought their future was secure but lost all their retirement funds. Same with me, I put my trust in my broker and he stole my entire retirement fund. True, we can’t go through life being suspicious of everyone, but having said that, we do need to be wise and careful about who and what we put our trust in.

In some situations where we have been let down, we can recover, but when it comes to putting our trust in planning for eternity, there’s no recovery if we place our trust in the wrong religion or in a false “god.”

Many religious leaders besides Jesus Christ have and still claim that their religion is the true way to God. But Jesus was emphatic in stating that he—not religion nor Christianity for that matter—but that HE was the only way to God. “No one,” he said, “comes to God except through me!”

While Jesus Christ is not the only religious leader who claimed to be God, he is the only one who ever convinced a great portion of the world that he is. He is also the only leader who ever claimed that he would rise from death,3 and according to historical evidence, he did. Following his resurrection, he was seen by the women who visited his tomb and found it empty, by the disciples, and by more than 500 other witnesses.4

Christ’s resurrection was also recorded by Josephus, the Jewish historian, in his Antiquities (18:3). Josephus was a Jew writing to satisfy the Romans, so his report of Christ’s resurrection would not have pleased the Romans at all. He would not have included it had he not believed it to be true.*

Had there been any other way to save lost mankind from sins’ eternal destruction, why would Jesus, the Son of God, have come to earth as a baby to identify with mankind and then die in our place to pay the penalty for all our sins on the cruel Roman cross?

So be extremely wise and careful in what and in whom you put your trust when it comes to life after death. Your life depends on it. Eternity is forever!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please be merciful to me, a sinner. Help me to see your truth. Help me not to depend on anyone other than you, the one and only God, to reveal to me the way to you and the way to eternal life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

*Note: For further evidence of the deity of Jesus Christ see the article, “Jesus Christ: God or Man?” at: www.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=24&d=1&c=1&p=1. And, if you are not sure that you have placed your trust in Jesus for your eternal destiny, be sure to read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: www.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=2&d=1&c=1&p=2.

1. John 14:6 (NIV).

2. James B. Meigs, “Extreme Living,” O, The Oprah Magazine, July 2002, p. 35-37.

3. Matthew 16:21.

4. Luke 24:13-43; 1 Corinthians 15:5-8.

<:))))><

Attitude

Leave a comment

“Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”1

Attitude, as it has been said, is much more important than aptitude. Aptitude says that we can do things, but attitude will determine how well we do them. Aptitude will determine how well we can think, but attitude will determine how well we feel about what we think. Aptitude will help us see things that perhaps others don’t see, but attitude will help how we interpret what we see and what we do about it. A person with a healthy, positive attitude can achieve much more with his average aptitude than a person with a highly skilled aptitude but who has a negative and self-defeating attitude.

People with a positive attitude will see the glass half-full and be thankful, while those with a negative attitude will see the glass half-empty and complain about it. Both are correct of course but it’s attitude that makes the difference in how they see things. In life we see things not the way they are but the way we are. And if we don’t have an honest and realistic attitude, we will distort the most obvious facts to make them match our prejudiced attitude.

Then, of course, there are those who will argue that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. You can’t win with these people because no matter what you say, they will disagree with you because they have a disagreeable attitude.

In all of life it’s attitude that makes the difference. Aptitude is a gift. Attitude is a choice.

I like what Michael Josephson of Character Counts said, “So, at least for today, I’m not going to worry that roses have thorns; I’ll rejoice that thorns have roses.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see the roses on the thorny bush, the rainbow in the rain, and the hidden blessings you have for me in every circumstance. Help me to develop a thankful attitude so that I will put to best use the aptitudes you have gifted me with. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 5:20 (NIV).

<:))))><

Turning Pebbles Into Pearls

Leave a comment

“Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”1

Into the shell of an oyster a tiny foreign body—such as a tiny parasite—finds its way into the soft oyster body. “The intruder, though microscopic, is a source of irritation and pain to the soft body of the oyster. Unable to rid itself of the unwelcome ‘guest,’ the oyster seeks to reduce the irritation by coating it with layers of soft, iridescent mother-of-pearl material from its own shell. Over time, the oyster transforms a painful irritation into a beautiful pearl of great value.”

Most of us have “tiny parasites” or annoying “pebbles” that come into our life on a regular basis … many of which can be very frustrating and even painful.

But every one of these annoyances gives us a chance to grow and mature. Some will require great patience, others tough love. Some will require our turning the other cheek, some confrontation, and some kindness and understanding. For example, addicts need to be treated with tough love. Bullies require us to maintain healthy boundaries. Cheaters need to be confronted. Manipulators need to be managed. Control freaks need to be resisted, guilt throwers need to be challenged, and toxic people may need to be avoided, and so on.

With God’s help, if we so choose, we can turn every one of these annoying pebbles into pearls or we can allow them to make us bitter. For it’s not what happens to us that matters, but how we react to what happens. What we do about it is what matters—and that’s a choice we make either consciously or unconsciously. And remember, “The bumps are what we climb on.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see an opportunity for growth in every annoying situation. Give me the courage to be strong when needed, have healthy boundaries where required, exercise tough love where it is essential, and show kindness, patience and understanding where these are needed. Help me to always ask, ‘What would Jesus do?’ And please give me the courage to do just that. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV).

<:))))><

Daddy, Daddy

Leave a comment

“Around mid-afternoon [from the cross] Jesus groaned out of the depths, crying loudly … ‘My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?’”1

Tom Miller wrote about the following experience:

My nine-year-old daughter Jennifer was looking forward to our family’s mini-vacation, but when our vacation arrived, she became ill, and a long anticipated day at Sea World was replaced by an all-night series of CAT scans, X-rays, and blood work at a hospital.

As morning approached, the doctors told my exhausted little girl that she needed to have one more test, a spinal tap. The procedure would be painful, they said. The doctor then asked me if I planned to stay in the room. I nodded my head, knowing I couldn’t leave Jennifer alone during her ordeal.

The doctor gently asked Jennifer to remove all her clothing. She looked at me with childlike modesty as if to ask if that were all right. Then they had her curl into a tiny ball. I buried my face in hers and hugged her.

Jennifer cried as the needle went in. As the searing pain increased, she sobbingly repeated, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,” her voice becoming more earnest with each word. It was as if she was saying, “Oh, Daddy, this hurts so badly. Please, can’t you do something?”

My tears mingled with hers. My heart was broken. I felt nauseous. Because I loved her, I allowed her to go through the most agonizing experience of her life, and I could hardly stand it.

In the middle of the procedure, my thoughts went to the cross of Christ. What unspeakable pain both the Son and God the Father endured for our sakes. We owe a debt that can never be fully paid. The best thing we can do is give ourselves as living sacrifices.2

Ed. Note: If you’ve never truly thanked Jesus for dying on the cross to pay the penalty for all your sins and received God’s gift of forgiveness and eternal life, why not do that today by praying this simple prayer: “Dear God, I confess that I am a sinner and am sorry for all the wrongs that I have done. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me and I invite you, Jesus, to come into my heart and life as Lord and Savior. I commit and trust my life to you. Please give me the desire to be what you want me to be and the desire to do what you want me to do. Thank you for dying for my sins, for your free pardon, for your gift of eternal life, and for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.”

If you prayed this prayer and genuinely meant it, please let us know by filling in the reply form at: www.actsweb.org/decision.php

1. Matthew 27:46 (The Message).

2. KneEmail at http://www.oakhillcoc.org.

<:))))><