In a California murder case some time back, a case that dragged out for months, the man being prosecuted appeared to have a seared or dead conscience. The way he lived and used other people for his own ends, and showed no sorrow regarding this, nor any visible emotion when he was handed a death sentence seemed to indicate this.

This brings us to another aspect concerning guilt we need to understand. True, it’s important to resolve false guilt and shame so we don’t feel guilty or shameful when we shouldn’t. On the other hand there are some people who don’t feel guilty when they should—when they have done wrong.

Some, who are too prideful to admit when they have done wrong and refuse to say, “I was wrong. I am sorry. Please forgive me,” often play the blame-game and project the blame onto somebody else. These people have a very poor self-image and need to resolve that. (Actually one of our greatest strengths is to admit our weaknesses and mistakes. Only then can we ever overcome them. Denial traps us in the web of our own insecurities.)

Then there are those who have what the Bible describes as a seared conscience. What they and we all need to realize is that guilt in the Bible is a legal term. That is, if we have done wrong and sinned, we are guilty whether we feel guilty or not. The same is true with the law of the land. The court is not going to make a judgment on the basis of whether we feel guilty or not. If we broke the law, we will be judged on the basis of what we did—not on the basis of our feelings or whether we had a dead conscience.

The word “conscience” itself literally means “with knowledge” (“con” meaning “with” and “science” meaning “knowledge”). The emotional term in the Bible associated with guilt is Godly sorrow.² In other words, when we have sinned, the mature and healthy response is to admit it, feel sorrowful for it, confess it, and repent of (turn away from) it, and be forgiven.

Denying our actions when we have done wrong and willfully continuing with these wrong or sinful actions can readily lead to a seared conscience. This is a very dangerous path to pursue.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me the courage to admit when I have done wrong and deliver me from the sin of denial so that I will never end up with a dead or seared conscience. And thank you that when I confess my wrongs and sins, you freely forgive me. And then please help me to forgive myself. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Timothy 4:1-2 (NIV).

2. “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret” (2 Corinthians 7:10 (NIV)).

In continuing our three-part series on guilt, we explained yesterday that genuine confession is the way to resolve true guilt.

Most readers will be familiar with David’s sin of adultery with Bathsheba and his ordering her husband, Uriah, to be killed in a vain attempt to cover what he had done. The only person he fooled, of course, was himself. What he did wasn’t hidden either from God or his own conscience. In today’s Scripture it shows how he struggled with his guilt but then when he confessed it, he felt free from his guilt—and greatly relieved.

Resolving false guilt and shame aren’t as simple to overcome because neither one of them is guilt—regardless of how they feel.

As we said yesterday, false guilt comes from early conditioning, usually from parents, but it can be caused by legalistic religion too. To overcome this issue one needs to re-condition his thoughts and feelings. It starts with recognizing what is true and what is false. When feeling guilty, ask yourself, “Am I really guilty? Did I really do anything wrong?” If not, tell yourself, “No, I didn’t do anything wrong and I am not guilty.” The more you do this (with strong feeling), in time the more you will be able to slowly recondition your feelings and thoughts.

Also, if you are feeling guilty and are confused, share your feelings with a trusted friend or counselor to confirm whether your feelings are valid and based on reality. Don’t share with anyone whose purpose is only to make you feel good regardless of whether you did wrong or not. That will do more to hurt you rather than help you.

If you struggle with shame, you will also need to re-condition or re-program your feelings and thoughts about yourself. This takes time too. Again, you need to share (confess) what you have done and/or how you feel even if you haven’t done anything wrong to a safe, trusted friend or counselor, and as they love and accept you just as you are and don’t “shame” you, in time, little by little you will learn to accept yourself with all of your faults and be free from those wretched feelings of shame. This takes considerable time and persistence, however, because we don’t undo years of false conditioning overnight.

Confession not only to God, but also to the right person (a safe non-judgmental person), at the right time, for the right reason is foundational for healing. As James wrote in the Bible, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”²

To be continued …

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me grow to the point where I am free from false guilt and shame, and be genuinely sorrowful for my sins. Thank you again that when I confess my sins to you, you fully forgive me. Help me to forgive myself and, with your help, overcome sinful actions. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Psalm 32:4-6 (NLT).

2. James 5:16 (NIV).

For additional help:

See See Guilt-Throwers Vs. Guilt-Catchers at: www.actsweb.org/daily.php?id=434.

“Dear Sir, I have been a Christian for almost a decade,” writes a Daily Encounter reader, “but I have this overwhelming sense of guilt. I cannot seem to shake it. What can I do?”

“Dear Stephen (name changed), you are not alone in your struggle. It’s a problem many experience. To overcome, it is essential to understand the difference between true guilt, false guilt, and shame. Some psychologists claim that guilt is psychologically damaging. This is not correct regarding true guilt. We ought to feel guilty when we have done wrong. If we don’t, we face the danger of developing a seared conscience. It’s false guilt and shame that are psychologically damaging.

While true guilt says you have done wrong, false guilt makes you feel guilty even when you haven’t done anything wrong. And shame says that you are a bad person not only when you have done something wrong but often when you haven’t.

With true guilt when we have admitted that we have done wrong, confessed it to God and asked for his forgiveness and, where necessary, asked the one we have hurt for his or her forgiveness—and wherever possible have put right the wrong we have done, the guilt feelings go. As today’s Scripture assures us, when we confess our sins, God forgives us … and then we need to forgive ourselves.

However, if after confessing our sins we still feel guilty, guilt is not the problem. If, for example, I am a perfectionist and have unrealistic expectations of myself and am beating myself up because of what I did wrong, the problem is my perfectionism. Or if as a child I was controlled by an overbearing parent and made to feel guilty if I didn’t conform to his or her every demand, present situations where I have done something my parents had opposed—even if there was nothing wrong with it—this can trigger those old memories and feelings of false guilt.

Or if my early life was shame-based; that is, if whenever I did something wrong an angry or critical parent repeatedly said in a harsh tone, “Shame on you … you bad person,” as an adult whenever I do wrong, or even feel I have done something wrong, I will feel that old shame regardless of how irrelevant it may be today.

So, how do we overcome?

To be continued….

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to discern the difference between true guilt, false guilt and shame and lead me to the help I need to overcome any feelings of false guilt or shame in my life. And wherever there is true guilt, give me the courage to confess what I have done, and ask for your forgiveness. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 John 1:9 (NIV).

Probably most people like to have a nice lawn around their house. Joy and I certainly do. We used to have a lovely front lawn, but unfortunately ugly weedy-type grass has taken a hold and ruined it. Unfortunately, I didn’t get rid of it when it first appeared, so to make it good again, I’ll have to destroy the entire lawn and start over from scratch.

It’s amazing how easily ugly grasses and weeds grow, but to maintain a good lawn and garden takes constant care. Hopefully this summer I will make the effort to plant a new lawn. To do so, I will first have to destroy our entire lawn, carefully re-cultivate the soil, and get a new layer of top soil before planting new good lawn seed, and then take care of it so it will take root and thrive.

It’s exactly the same with the “seed and soil” as illustrated by Jesus in his parable in today’s Scripture passage. The seed represents God’s message as found in his Word the Bible—a message that includes his message of salvation—and, as Jesus explained, the four soils represent all those who hear God’s message and what they do in response to it.

The four soils are best explained in the words of Jesus: “Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. Those by the wayside are the ones who hear; then the devil comes and takes away the word out of their hearts, lest they should believe and be saved. But the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away. Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity. But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, having heard the word with a noble and good heart, keep it and bear fruit with patience.”²

Today’s question to you and me is this: “Which soil represents you?” Have you accepted God’s message of forgiveness and eternal life and allowed it to grow in “good reproductive soil”? For help to receive God’s forgiveness see “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: www.actsweb.org/christian.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me the desire to not only hear your Word, but also the good sense to listen to it with my heart, accept it, and follow its direction knowing that it is for both my temporal and eternal wellbeing. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus name, amen.”

1. Luke 8:5-8 (NKJV).

2. Luke 8: 11-15 (NKJV).

Down the long, dusty road on their way from Jericho to Jerusalem, some two thousand years ago, trod Jesus with His motley band of twelve disciples, followed by a huge crowd.

They were probably already hot and sweaty. The dust clung to them, but, because Jesus was at the height of His popularity, the great crowd of people pressed close to Him. They were jabbering endlessly. Asking questions. Seeking favors. They could be heard a mile away.

“Hey, what’s all the noise?” blind Bartimaeus asked his friend as they sat by the roadside begging.

“I don’t know,” answered his friend with a puzzled tone in his voice.

“Let’s ask somebody else,” they agreed.

“It’s Jesus,” a passer-by informed them.

“You mean Jesus of Nazareth, the fellow they claim can heal the sick and the blind?” Bartimaeus excitedly asked.

“That’s the One,” he replied, “and I’m not going to miss seeing him for anything.”

The crowd came closer and closer. Excitement filled the air. The noise became intense. “I can’t believe it,” shouted Bartimaeus to his friend. “This just has to be my lucky day. I’ve got to get to Jesus. I know He can heal me.”

“Hey, Bart, there He is,” cried Bartimaeus’s friend, “but how will you ever get his attention?”

“This is it,” said Bartimaeus. “I may never come close to Jesus again. I want to be healed.”

With dignity dismissed, Bartimaeus, seeking to be heard above the rowdy crowd, yelled at the top of his voice, “Jesus, have mercy on me! O Lord, son of David, have mercy on me!”

“Cool it, man! Calm down! Shut up!” retorted some of the crowd to Bartimaeus. “You’re making a fool of yourself. There are so many others here you don’t stand a chance of getting to Jesus, so just relax and keep quiet!”

But Bartimaeus was all the more determined to get to Jesus. He couldn’t see with his eyes but he sure could with his heart … and he could yell. He cried out all the louder. Hear his voice rise above the din of the crowd. It rang out like a great clarion call. “Jesus, O Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! Jesus, O Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me!”

And Jesus stood still.

And the crowds stood still.

And a great calm settled down over them all.

Imagine it. The winds and the waves couldn’t stop the Savior. Neither could angry mobs. Crowds of people couldn’t stop him either. But the call of one lone, blind beggar did.

And Jesus with his great heart of compassion called for Bartimaeus to be brought to him. “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked.

“Lord,” Bartimaeus replied, “please give me my sight.”

And Jesus did. “Go your way,” He said, “your faith has made you whole.”

Immediately Bartimaeus could see and he followed Jesus along the way.²

Most of us are not physically blind, but many of us suffer from spiritual blindness. If we are as determined as Bartimaeus was to reach the Savior, Jesus will stand still for us too-when we call upon him from a determined heart-and our spiritual eyes will be opened.³

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me a determination such as blind Bartimaeus had and open the eyes of my understanding so that I will know and understand your Truth and, as a result, become a genuine follower of you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Mark 10:51 (NIV).

2. Mark 10:46-52.

3. Adapted from I Hate Witnessing by Dick Innes. Can be purchased online at www.actscom.com/store.

In response to the Daily Encounter, “Do You Want to Be Healed?” where we shared the importance of the need and biblical injunction to confess our sins to a safe and trusted friend, one subscriber responded saying, “Thank you for this message. However, I have a question, what if among the people I fellowship with, there is no one with whom I feel safe to confess my sins. My pastor said that if I confess my sins to someone, and tomorrow, he hears someone talking or gossiping about what I confessed, I can only blame myself for telling it to someone. So where can I find a trustworthy person who will not break my confidence?”

I replied to this lady saying, “Yes, I agree that it is difficult to find a trusted, safe friend, to whom we can confess our sins and faults. This is such a tragedy as the Bible teaches us that this is a vital part of healing. And, unfortunately, I have never in my entire life ever heard a pastor or a ‘faith healer’ ever teach on the importance of confession of sins as a vital part of healing. My suggestion is, if this is possible, if you can’t find a safe, trusted friend, it is worth paying a well-trained professional counselor to whom you can safely confess your sins and faults.”

I don’t think this is true in the Catholic Church. If confession of sin/s to a priest is done with the right motive, besides being a biblical injunction, besides resolving guilt which, unresolved, can make people literally ill, it is a very healthy and a vital part of healing and recovery. It is tragic when we as Christians don’t feel safe to confess our sins to church leaders and fellow church members.

If a counselor is needed for a trusted person to confess to, and if you live in the U.S. or Canada, you could call the Narramore Christian Foundation for the name of a Christian counselor in your area. Call 1-800-477-5893 and press “1″ for Dianne and she should be able to help most callers.

If you don’t live in North American, it can help to write a letter to God and confess all your sins and faults and feelings in writing (David did this in the Psalms) … then read the letter out loud in a prayer to God, and then tear up the letter so no one else will ever see it and hold it against you.

Also pray and ask God to help you find a safe and trusted friend to whom you can safely share all your failures, struggles, and sins.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, first, please help me to be a safe and trusted friend with whom fellow strugglers feel safe to confess their failures, struggles, and sins to. And when I need someone to whom I can confess my failures and sins please help me to find a safe and trusted person so I can be freed from guilt and be healed of any unresolved sin and/or super-charged repressed negative emotions that are seriously affecting my physical, emotional, and/or my spiritual health. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus name, amen.”

1. James 5:16 (NIV).