All posts by 5Q

Opening the Door to Healing

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“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”1

Related to what the Bible calls “confession,” counselors call “catharsis,” which means to purify by emptying out—an emptying out of the emotional poison that makes us sick or sicker than we need to be. Catharsis is needed to “get rid of … feelings of hatred”2 as God’s Word instructs us to do. Just talking “about” negative feelings doesn’t get rid of them. In fact, it can keep one stuck in them. They need to be felt in all their intensity and expressed creatively by either verbalizing them or writing them out until they are totally dissipated. (For help see footnote No. 3.)

Confession is not only confessing our failures and sins, but also where we’ve been sinned against, as this can leave a spirit of resentment in us that we need to “empty out” and resolve.

Confession with catharsis is the emptying out of the poisonous emotions of hurt, anger, grief, guilt, and shame that are a result of our own actions or of being hurt, abandoned, abused, criticized, rejected, and so on, which stops us truly forgiving any and all who may have hurt us in the past—anywhere from yesterday to yesteryear all the way back to early childhood.

Furthermore, to fail to forgive keeps us bound by the past. As we have noted before, “Failing to forgive is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Or as Max Lucado put it, “Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner.”

It is a fact of life that confession with catharsis, followed by forgiveness of any and all who have ever hurt us, opens the door to our healing and wellbeing.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see any sins in my life that I need to confess, and help me to get in touch with any unresolved negative emotions and learn how to ‘empty them out’ in helpful and healing ways. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 5:16 (NIV).

2. 1 Peter 2:1 (TLB) (NLT).

3. See, “Taming Your Anger,” http://tinyurl.com/b439f.

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Aching Arms

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“As long as Moses held up his hands, the Israelites were winning, but whenever he lowered his hands, the Amalekites were winning. When Moses’ hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up—one on one side, one on the other—so that his hands remained steady till sunset”1

I don’t know why God required Moses to keep his hands raised when the ancient Israelites were in battle against the Amalekites—unless it was to acknowledge Israel’s total dependence on God. Whatever the reason, it was a smart move to get a helping hand from Aaron and Hur, as Moses never could have made it by himself. It is also a good lesson for all of us because none of us can get through life without a helping hand from others.

I believe it was Paul Harvey who made the following comment: “We have always tended to revere the airplane pilot who did it alone and the country doctor who never left the bedside…. Such a spirit of independence served us well and caused us all to grow tall. But we’d never have made it to the moon without a spirit of interdependence. And we’d never have eradicated typhoid and smallpox and polio without cooperative effort. We’ve found that no person alone can fetch oil from beneath the ocean. We’ve found that we are becoming increasingly interdependent—not only in our country, but also all around the world.… On the steep slope ahead, holding hands is necessary.”2

And in the quiet of our home and among friends holding hands is also necessary.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me never to be slow to offer a helping hand to a friend in need, and never too proud to ask for help when I need a helping hand. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Exodus 17:11-12 (NIV).

2. Paul Harvey, Cited on Kneemail, www.oakhillcoc.org/

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What If There Is a Hell?

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“And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works. And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death. And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.”1

How often have you heard the argument, “If God is a God of love, how could he ever send anyone to hell?” Others who say they believe in God just don’t believe there is such a place as hell.” But what if there is a hell? The fact is that Jesus in God’s Word repeatedly speaks about hell and warns people about the wrath to come.

Keep in mind, however, that hell was prepared first of all for the rebellious devil and his fallen angels [demons]. Also realize that in a very real sense it isn’t God who sends us to hell, but it is we ourselves when we disbelieve God’s warning and reject or fail to accept his pardon for all our sins and receive his gift of eternal salvation. God will not force us to spend eternity with him when we have refused his fellowship and forgiveness in life.

In his book, Echoes of Eternity, Dennis Kastens writes about people who never heeded the following warning: “During World War II the city of Palermo, Sicily, a military objective of the Allied Powers, was to be bombed by the American Air Force. To warn the Sicilians, telling them to flee, thousands of pamphlets were dropped on the city beforehand, but the citizens simply did not believe the warning. They listened, but they did not hear! When the American planes came and dropped their bombs, hundreds of Sicilians were killed; in fact, in some cold, dead hands were found the very pages urging them to leave the city.”2

Whatever you do, don’t fail to heed God’s repeated warning about hell and the wrath to come after this life. Make absolutely sure your name is written in God’s book of life. See also the article below: “The Why of Hell.”*

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I confess to you that I am a sinner and believe that your Son, Jesus, died on the cross in my place to pay the penalty for all my sins. Please forgive me of all my sins, and Lord Jesus, please come into my heart and life and be my personal Lord and Savior. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

NOTE: If you have never accepted Jesus as your savior and prayed the prayer above, please let us know by filling in the form at https://learning.actsweb.org/decision.php and we will send you the web address for free online helpful articles.

*The WHY of Hell. Because God is a God of holiness no sin or sinner can ever exist in his presence any more than darkness can survive in the presence of light, or a moth in a flame. And because God is a God of justice, all sin (the breaking of God’s universal moral laws) must be judged and that judgment is death, which is eternal separation from God in the place the Bible calls hell. The good news is that God is also a God of infinite love. That’s why he gave his Son, Jesus, to die in our place on the cross to pay the penalty for all our sins and save us from spending eternity in hell. All we need to do is confess our sinfulness to God, believe that Jesus is the Son of God and that he died on the cross in our place, and ask God for his forgiveness and accept Jesus as our personal Lord and Savior.

To accept God’s Invitation to receive his full and free pardon and his gift of eternal life click on http://tinyurl.com/6k49w or see the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” in No. 3 below.

1. Revelation 20:13-15 (KJV).

2. Dennis Kastens, Echoes of Eternity, CSS Publishing.

3. See “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: www.actsweb.org/christian.

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The “Ten Commendments”

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“Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’”1

I recently received an email in French requesting a copy of the “Ten Commendments.” As I can’t read French, I used the Google online translator to read this person’s request. When translating online, sometimes the words can come out rather funny. For instance, when I asked Google to translate, “The cat sat on the mat” into French it read, “Le chat s’est reposé sur la natte.” But when I asked Google to translate this back into English it read, “The cat rested on the plait.” And then when I checked the word “plait” in my computer Thesaurus it said, “ponytail.” So “The cat sat on the mat” ended up as “The cat rested on the ponytail.”

Jokes aside, it’s understandable that this can happen when translating online from one language to another, but the same thing happens very easily when communicating in person in the same language—especially between parents and children, husbands and wives.

Effective communication should be one of many “commendments” because so many misunderstandings and broken relationships are caused by mis-communications and/or misunderstood communications.

One of the challenges in communication is that we see and hear things, and will even read into things, on the basis of how we feel about ourselves, and on the bases of unresolved issues from past significant relationships.

If I am a very insecure, super-sensitive person, the slightest negative comment can send me into an emotional tailspin. Furthermore, if I didn’t get along with my mother [or father, sister, or brother], and you say or do something that reminds me of my mother, it’s going to push my “mother [or whichever] button” and I will overreact way out of proportion to what you said or did. And you are going to be left wondering what on earth is happening to me. Then we get into the battle of: “You said” … “did not.” “Yes you did”… “No I didn’t” … “Did” … “Didn’t….” And the vicious cycle continues and escalates.

As healthy relationships are vital to healthy living, learning to communicate effectively needs to be a top priority. There are many helpful tips on how we can learn to do this besides learning to hear what is not being said, but the bottom line is that we need to resolve all past impaired significant relationships so our hot buttons don’t get pushed, and that we grow in maturity so we overcome our insecurities.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see and resolve any and all impaired relationships and grow in maturity so that I can learn to love and accept myself in a healthy manner and not overreact to what others say or do to me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 5:37 (NIV).

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Spoiled Rotten

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“Peace I [Jesus] leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”1

A Daily Encounter reader shares how her re-married father spoils her stepsisters rotten but totally neglects her, and has done so for many years. She feels totally abandoned and rejected by him. One can understand how she feels, but as long as she feels bitter towards her father, she will never find peace of mind or heart. She, of course, is not alone in her situation. Endless people are still carrying hurt and nursing grudges from things that happened years earlier.

The reality is, as I continually remind folk, that we can’t change anybody else regardless of our relationship with them. The only person we can ever change is our self.

The real issue is not so much on what others do to us, but how we react (or overreact) to external circumstances. If our inner sense of wellbeing is dependent on how others treat us, we will remain miserable much of the time. What others do to me is their issue. How I respond is always my issue, my responsibility, and my choice. Furthermore, when we overreact to external circumstances, it is always our problem. We overreact when we have hurtful issues from the past that we have never resolved, and those ancient buried feelings get triggered.

In her book, Your Life Matters, Petrea King wrote, “Peace becomes possible when we stop blaming anything or anyone for how we feel and take responsibility for our own perceptions. If we pursue happiness in the way our culture suggests, we reach for it outside of ourselves and remain dependent on circumstances that will remain forever beyond our control. But if we anchor our sense of self in our consciousness, rather than in the outer trappings or events of our life, peace becomes possible.”2

And as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Though we search the world over for the beautiful, we find it within or we find it not.”

Furthermore, as Christians, we not only need to resolve our hurt and angry feelings from the past, but also to surrender circumstances beyond our control to the Lord and trust him to bring good out of the situation. That is a choice we can each make and live by. Only then will we discover the peace that Jesus promised to his disciples and followers.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to realize that lasting peace comes from within and is not dependent on external circumstances. Help me to change the things I can change and accept with grace the things I can’t change—and through these circumstances become more mature and Christ-like in every way. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 14:27 (NIV).

2. Petrea King, Your Life Matters, Random House Australia, 2004, p. 33.

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If It Feels Good

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“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”1

In considerable thinking today among college students and others, so-called truth is based much too often on one’s personal experience and how one feels about it.

As Mark Early wrote in Breakpoint, “Take, for example, the argument for s-e-xual experimentation. It goes like this: ‘In order to make wise choices about s-e-x, you have to experience it.’ This isn’t just a ‘line’ a guy might use with a girl; it’s a false theory of knowledge. It says that personal experience is the only way to know anything, and the test of experience is, of course, how you feel.”2

Some also reason that because they can’t see, experience, or feel God, he therefore doesn’t exist.

In other words I make my experience and how I feel the final voice of authority on what is true and what is false, which of course is a way to justify what I want and choose to believe and do.

Certain drugs are addictive. That is true regardless of what I think or feel about them. If I experiment with these drugs to seek to prove my point, I can no longer think clearly or rationally. Furthermore, is fornication, adultery, abortion, homo-s-e-x-ual behavior, gay marriage or any other actions that God condemns right or wrong based on my experience and feelings? No. These actions are wrong because God’s Word says they are. And God says they are wrong because they are ultimately harmful to those who indulge in them.

To make my experience and feelings the test of truth is to raise myself above God, implying that I know better than he knows. Rather egotistical to put it mildly, and ultimately self-destructive to put it realistically.

God’s Word is the final voice of authority and the standard by which we measure all truths. If a behavior is in harmony with God’s Word, we know that it is right.3 If it is out of harmony with God’s Word, we know that it is wrong and harmful. We also need to remember that “there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.” It is much, much wiser to go God’s way than my own.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the principles for healthy living you have given to us in your Word, the Holy Bible that, if we follow, will lead to eternal life. And that, if we reject and go our own way, will lead to eternal death. Thank you for this warning, and thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 14:12 (NIV).

2. Breakpoint, 8-15-2005, http://www.breakpoint.org/bp-home.

3. See Psalm 19:8.

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A Persistent Duck

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“A Canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him [Jesus], crying out, ‘Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.’ Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, ‘Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us.’”1

In Vancouver, British Columbia (reported Reuters), when a family of ducklings fell down a Vancouver sewer grate, their mother did what any parent would do. She got help from a passing police officer.

Vancouver police officer Ray Peterson admitted he was not sure what to make of the duck that grabbed him by the pant leg while he was on foot patrol on a Wednesday evening in a neighborhood near the city’s downtown.

“I thought it was a bit goofy, so I shoved it away,” Peterson told the Vancouver Sun newspaper.

The mother duck persisted, grabbing Peterson’s leg again when he tried to leave, and then waddling to a nearby sewer grate where she sat down and waited for him to follow and investigate.

“I went up to where the duck was lying and saw eight little babies in the water below,” he said.

Police said they removed the heavy metal grate with the help of a tow truck and used a vegetable strainer to lift the ducklings to safety. Mother and offspring then departed for a nearby pond.2

When the Canaanite woman came to Jesus for help, the disciples tried to get Jesus to send her away, but she refused to go. She was desperate for help for her child. Jesus certainly tested her by telling her that his ministry was for the “lost sheep of Israel,” and that it wasn’t right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.” In her determination she replied, “Yes, Lord, but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.”

And Jesus replied, “‘Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.’ And her daughter was healed from that very hour.”3

God will also test us to see if we are determined and desperate enough to turn to him for help. The half-hearted never make it.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that when I am serious about turning to you for help, you always hear and answer the prayer that comes from my heart. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 15:22-23 (NIV).

2. http://tinyurl.com/bxygm.

3. See Matthew 15:22-28 (NIV).

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When You Feel Insecure

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“A new command I [Jesus] give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”1

Do you ever walk into a room full of strangers with the sense that you are the only one who feels insecure? The fact is that others, at least some of them in that room, probably feel the same way, especially if they are also strangers to the group. Feelings of insecurity are part of the human condition because we are all wounded in some way to some degree.

We visited a new church on one occasion where nobody bothered to talk to or welcome us, so I decided to talk to others and welcome them. “It’s good to have you here at church today,” I said and asked, “are you a member?” In fact, just this last Sunday morning after church I saw a man standing alone, so I specifically went to speak to him and help make him feel welcome. He turned out to be a first-time visitor. A little later this same man sought me out to thank me for talking to him, and told me that I was the only person that bothered to stop and speak to him.

So, when in a group of strangers, talk to a person who may be standing alone and ask him/her about him/herself. This will get you out of yourself and in time you will feel much better about yourself. I’m not suggesting that we be phony, but sometimes we just need to acknowledge our fear, but don’t allow it to control us or hold us back from doing the right thing.

If we keep reaching out to others with a sincere motive and do the loving thing, in time this will help us to become more secure ourselves. It may be a challenge at first, but it is what Christ commanded us to do. That is, to love one another. One way to do this is to reach out to a stranger in your midst who is all alone.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in my insecurity help me to reach out to others, and to learn to love and accept myself as you love and accept me, not in any way to boost my own ego, but so I can become a freer channel through whom your love can flow to others. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 13:34 (NIV)

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Follow Me

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“As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. ‘Follow me,’ he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.”1

“In our Monday morning group,” wrote Milt Richards, “we have been reflecting on what it means to follow Jesus. In our scripture lesson for today we read the story of Jesus meeting Matthew. Here is a person who is one of the most disrespected and loathed persons in the community. Crowds of people had been clamoring to see and hear Jesus, the new miracle worker among them who claimed to be the promised ‘Messiah.’ Yet as Jesus moved on his way, a very special thing happened. The record specifically states that Jesus saw Matthew.”

Not only did Jesus see Matthew—the despised and hated tax collector—but he also called him saying, “Follow me.” In choosing to accept Jesus’ invitation, Matthew became one of Jesus’ special disciples—and his life and writings continue to make an impact on the world today.

Jesus, of course, was heavily criticized by the religious elite of his day for mixing with despised tax collectors and obvious sinners, but he had no intention of being “politically correct” in order to please the elite. He lived only to please his Father, who sent him to earth to seek and to save the lost; that is, the spiritually lost.

No matter how you and I are accepted, rejected, neglected or made to feel, Jesus sees us too. And his invitation is exactly the same as it was to Matthew: “Follow me.”

Accept Jesus’ invitation and your reward in heaven will also be great.

Be sure to click on God’s Invitation at: http://tinyurl.com/6k49w.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for Jesus’ invitation to me to follow him. I gladly accept his invitation. Please help me to live in totally harmony with your will and to honor Jesus and you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 9:9 (NIV).

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Priorities

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“Seeing a fig tree by the road, he [Jesus] went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, ‘May you never bear fruit again!’ Immediately the tree withered.’”1

Today in the Word reported how “Andrew Carnegie, a poor Scottish immigrant turned powerful industrialist, became one of the richest men of the nineteenth century—and one of the most generous. It’s estimated he gave nine out of every ten dollars he earned in oil, railroads, and steel to charity, an astounding total of $350 million over his lifetime. A strong supporter of free libraries and education, he believed that the rich had a moral responsibility to use their wealth to benefit others. Carnegie spread his wealth around, making philanthropy his life’s priority.”2

Obviously, very few people ever have this kind of wealth, but we all have something that we can give—be it large or small—to help in some way to make our world a better place in which to live.

The Apostle Paul said, “It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known.”3 His priority was to spread the good news of the riches of the gospel message of Jesus Christ. To this he dedicated and gave his life.

I think just about all of us want to feel that our life has not been lived in vain—that we have made a difference in the world in which we live. When we come to the end of life’s journey and meet Jesus face to face, how terribly sad it would be if we have nothing to offer him but “leaves” as it was with the tree Jesus referred to in today’s scripture verse.

Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be that way. We start by setting priorities. Whatever comes first in our lives are our priorities. Let’s make sure that God and living for him is at the very top of our list of priorities, remembering that we serve God by serving people.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to set priorities that are in harmony with your will so that, when I meet you face to face, I will hear your welcome words, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Lord.’ Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 21:19 (NIV).

2. Today in the Word, April 29, 2005.

3. Romans 15:20 (NIV).

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