All posts by 5Q

God Is Not Co-Dependent

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“Faith without deeds [action] is dead.”1

It is amazing how many email messages I receive from people who can’t understand why God allows certain things to happen—many of which are things that the individuals themselves caused to happen. One lady was convinced that God chose her “terrible husband” as she put it. An unmarried couple couldn’t understand why God allowed them to fall pregnant! Amazing.

The reality is that God isn’t co-dependent. He won’t short-circuit the consequences of our choices and actions, nor will he deliver us from the effects of our destructive behaviors. Neither will God do anything for us that we can and need to do for ourselves.

Ron Clarke from Tasmania wrote, “I know that the expression ‘God helps those who help themselves’ is not biblical but it is not that far removed from God’s Word that says, “Faith without deeds is dead.” I have always admired the statement by Sophocles (496-406 B.C.), considered one of the greatest of all Greek dramatists, that said, “Heaven ne’er helps the man who will not help himself.”

As John Powell put it, “Some people treat God as if he were a giant Bayer’s aspirin. ‘Take God three times a day and you won’t feel any pain!’”

Faith doesn’t work that way. We are all responsible for the choices we make and the actions we take. True, we are saved by faith and not by works/deeds. However, our deeds/actions prove whether or not our faith is valid. Whatever we are capable of doing for ourselves we need to do—and be willing to help those who cannot help themselves.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me always to be responsible and act in a mature manner. And please show me if there are any areas in my life where I am not acting in this way. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 2:26 (NIV).

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Come and Dine

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“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when he said to me, ‘Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.’”1

Mark Early in BreakPoint shares “why Miriam Weinstein’s new book, The Surprising Power of Family Meals, is so valuable” for family health and quality living—especially for the children.

“As other authors have done, Weinstein tells us fewer and fewer families are taking the time to eat dinner together. Then she delves into the reasons why we should eat with our families, looking at various studies on the benefits of family dinners. Believe it or not, researchers have carefully studied dinnertime—from the kind of conversation that goes on around the table, to the lifelong effect that regular mealtimes have on children’s eating habits.

“The research indicates that many young adults with eating disorders never had a regular dinnertime when they were growing up. They literally never learned how to eat a proper meal.

“Weinstein tells us that when the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse studied ways to keep kids from destructive behaviors, family dinners were ‘more important than church attendance, more important even than grades at school.’ The Center has repeated that study several times since then, ‘and every year, eating supper [dinner] together regularly as a family tops the list of variables that are within our control.’

“The point is family meals aren’t just about food. As Weinstein puts it, ‘Supper is about nourishment of all kinds.’ That includes physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual nourishment.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help us to make eating time in our home a time that will always produce warm memories for all our children, and by all who dine with us. Please help us to make our home a house of blessing to all who enter therein. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Deuteronomy 4:9-10 (NIV).

2. Mark Earley in BreakPoint, November 22, 2005. www.BreakPoint.org.

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Leading By Example

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“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.”1

General Eisenhower would demonstrate the art of leadership with a piece of string. He’d put it on a table and say: “PULL it and it will follow wherever you wish. PUSH it and it will go nowhere at all. It’s just that way when it comes to leading people. They need to follow a person who is leading by example.”2

People who lord it over others are control freaks. They are insecure people who only feel secure when they are controlling others—or think they are. And whether they are seeking to lead a church, a class, a team, their family, or just one other person—or as a politician—they are not being effective leaders but pushers. Secure people will want to avoid this type of person. The only way to be an effective leader is to be a “puller.” That is, to lead by example.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be a true follower of Jesus and to lead others to you by my example; that is, by modeling the person you want me to be, so that others seeing your direction of my life will also want to be a follower of Jesus. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Peter 5:2-3 (NIV).

2. Michael P. Green, Illustrations for Biblical Preaching, Grand Rapids: Baker, 1989, p. 216.

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The God-Shaped Vacuum

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“His [God's] purpose in all of this was that the nations should seek after God and perhaps feel their way toward him and find him—though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and exist.”1

Years ago Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) insightfully said, “What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself.”

This is true and vital but I would dare to suggest that it doesn’t present the entire picture for, as Pascal also said, “There is a God-shaped vacuum [or cup, as I like to put it] in the heart” of all of us, there is also a people-shaped cup. And while our God-shaped cup needs to be filled with the love of God, our people-shaped cup needs to be filled with the love of people.

If either one of these cups is empty, life can feel void and meaningless. And then we seek to fill the void within and deaden the pain of our empty lives with things, endless activities, seeking approval, super-busyness, illicit sex, alcohol, drugs and stuff, stuff, and more stuff and, at least here in the West, we are left longing in the midst of a land of plenty.

The fact is that God has created us for relationships both with himself and each other. It has been rightfully said that 80 percent of life’s satisfaction comes from the quality of our relationships. Without loving relationships we limp along in the shadows of life and will most likely die long before our time. While it may not be desirable, we can live without romantic love but we cannot live healthily without healthy loving relationships with at least one or two—and preferably more—other persons.

Furthermore, without a meaningful relationship with God, there is a deep sense of spiritual emptiness of the soul. When God created mankind, he created us with the capacity to communicate with him, to be connected to him in spirit. The tragedy is that when sin entered the human race, we were separated or disconnected from God. But because God loved us he sent his Son, Jesus, to die on the cross in our place to pay the penalty for all our sins so we could be fully forgiven and be reconnected to God and then, through Jesus, get our God-cup or god-shaped vacuum filled.

Note: To begin a spiritual connection/relationship with God, be sure to read the article, “How to Know God and be sure you’re a real Christian without having to be religious” online at: www.actsweb.org/christian.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to develop healthy, loving relationships both with you and with others. And please reveal to me if there are any barriers in my life that might be hindering either one of these relationships. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Acts 17:27-28 (TLB)(NLT).

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The Positive Side of Negative Experiences

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“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”1

As a young man Demosthenes, the famous Greek orator, had a speech impediment that made him feel shy and insecure. His father left him a wealthy estate, but according to Greek law at the time, to claim his estate he had to establish his right of ownership through public debate. Because of his inability to speak clearly and prove his ownership he lost his inheritance.

Motivated by his loss and through dogged determination Demosthenes overcame his speech impediment to become one of the great orators of ancient times. Nobody remembers who got his inheritance but the story of Demosthenes has been told to countless numbers for centuries.

Back in college days I recall one of my professors saying that it takes twenty years to make a preacher and that the most effective ministers are those whose lives are tempered by suffering. “Nonsense,” I said to myself at the time. I was wrong.

Pain, disappointment, sorrow, suffering, and sadness, and not success, are what can make a person more understanding, gentle, kind, understanding, accepting, loving, and real—if we allow this to happen and not become bitter.

The prophet Ezekiel understood the suffering of the Israelites in exile because he sat where they sat for seven days—and was overwhelmed.2 It’s only when we sit where others sit that we can fully understand their suffering, without which we will be limited in our effectiveness as witnesses for Christ and as communicators of the gospel.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me not to avoid my pain but to face it, embrace it, own it, and bring it to you for your healing touch and use it to make me more sensitive to the suffering of others and minister to them in their pain. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV).

2. Ezekiel 3:15.

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Prophetic Confirmation

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According to an article in Christian Victory, Holiday Inn had a plan to erect a hotel on the Mount of Olives. They sent engineers to survey the hotel site to make preparations for building. Their conclusion was that it couldn’t be done as they found that there was a geological fault under the Mount that is causing it to split.

Some 2,500 years ago the Bible, as stated by the prophet Zechariah, said that this split (possibly caused by a great earthquake) will take place when Jesus Christ returns to earth to put down all evil and rule and reign forever. As the Bible says, “Then the Lord will go out fully armed for war, to fight against those nations. That day his feet will stand upon the Mount of Olives, to the east of Jerusalem, and the Mount of Olives will split apart, making a very wide valley running from east to west, for half the mountain will move toward the north and half toward the south.”1

Christ’s first coming is an indisputable fact of history. We can be just as certain of his second coming because he promised that if he went away he would return. Numerous prophecies regarding his first coming were fulfilled in minutest detail. We can be just as certain that all the prophecies regarding his second coming will also be fulfilled in minutest detail. Zechariah’s prophecy and the evidence of the geological fault under the Mount of Olives is just one more confirmation of the validity of God’s Word and the hope we have of Christ’s return for his own. The important thing is to be ready because when we least expect it, Christ will come.

His coming will be somewhat like the earthquakes in California or anywhere else, we know they are going to come, but they strike without warning. The important thing is to be prepared ahead of time. By way of interest, we actually had an earthquake here in Southern California on the very morning I was editing this Daily Encounter.

If Christ should come today, would you be ready? You can be by confessing your sins to him and inviting him into your heart and life as personal Lord and Savior. For help see “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: www.actsweb.org/christian. See also “What If There Is a Heaven?” at: http://tinyurl.com/g9ugp.

As Jesus said, “In my Father’s house are many mansions … I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go … I will come again and receive you unto myself that where I am, there you may be also.”2

Suggested prayer: Dear God, thank you for the promise that Jesus is coming back again to take all his true followers to be with him and you forever in heaven. Thank you, too, for this wonderful hope. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Zechariah 14:3-4 (TLB)(NLT).

2. John 14:2-4.

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Affluenza

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“Then he [Jesus] said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.’”1

On one occasion we had a speaker at our church who conducted a class for parents to help protect them from becoming infected with “affluenza.” The idea being that we and our kids can get so caught up in the world of materialistic affluence that we miss the real meaning of life.

I believe that one of the main reasons we are so materialistic here in the West is because we are so emotionally repressed. Emotions are God-given. They add beauty and interest to life. When they are repressed and denied, life can be deadly dull and empty.

Furthermore, when we bury emotions, we tend to settle for counterfeit experiences and the feelings they produce. For instance, when the emotion of love is repressed, there is a tendency to substitute lust which can look like love and feel like love—but it isn’t love and a damaging substitute at that—and leaves one more empty, lonely, and unsatisfied.

Also, consider the emotion of wonder—the emotion that puts sparkle into life and moves us deeply when a baby wraps its tiny hand around just one of our fingers and in so doing touches our very heart. When wonder is repressed, we become “characteristically bored with life,” and tend to turn to materialism in a vain attempt to fill the empty void in our heart. And instead of loving people and using things, we end up unhappily loving things and using people.

So if we want to avoid the problem of “affluenza” and the blight of empty materialism and learn to fully live and fully love, it is essential that we get in touch with and connected to all of our God-given emotions.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please deliver me from the blight of materialism which can easily become the driving force in my life. Help me to get in touch with all of my God-given emotions and use them in the manner and ways you designed them to be used so that I will learn to fully live and fully love. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 12:15 (NIV).

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Satan: Alive and Well

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“Be careful! Watch out for attacks from the Devil, your great enemy. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for some victim to devour. Take a firm stand against him, and be strong in your faith.”1

“In a National Geographic article about the Portia spider, author Robert Jackson detailed the various ways it deceives its prey. Sitting still, the spider looks like a piece of dried leaf or foliage until a meal walks by. It also will crawl onto another spider’s web and tap the threads, mimicking the actions of a trapped insect. When the host spider appears, the Portia devours it. Deception is the Portia’s primary tool.

“Satan is like the Portia spider in that deception is his weapon of choice. He does whatever he can to counterfeit the words of God—to make the unwary and naïve think that God is present and speaking when in fact He is not. The apostle Paul wrote about Satan masquerading as an ‘angel of light’ and about his agents acting like ‘servants of righteousness.’ The book of Revelation says a day is coming when the satanic Antichrist and False Prophet will deceive most of the world. Only those who know the Word of God will be prepared and protected. Know the truth—don’t be deceived by a counterfeiter like Satan.

“The more you get to know the truth—and the One who is Truth—the easier it will be to spot deception when it appears.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me a love for your Word and a desire to know and understand your truth so I will never be led astray by the evil one or deceived by his devices. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Peter 5:8-9 (NLT).

2. “Turning Point Daily Devotional,” 9-23-05. Cited on Preaching Now, http://www.preaching.com/newsletter.

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Boundaries vs Walls

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“A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.”1

A father who is having a conflict with a family member wanted to know the difference between barriers and walls.

In relationships we all need healthy boundaries (not barriers, which are the same as walls) to shut the bad out and let the good in. That is, we need boundaries to protect ourselves from hurtful people and to stop people using and taking advantage of us—and to stop our rescuing irresponsible people. We also need boundaries to keep our own bad in—in order to stop us controlling, hurting, and/or misusing others.

If someone is abusing or hurting me, I need to let him/her firmly but lovingly know that I will not accept their behavior. And, if they continue acting in a hurtful way, I will need to distance myself from them. However, at any point should they desire to meet in a kind and loving way, my door will always be open to them.

Boundaries are thus to strengthen our “no” muscle. People who can’t say “no” to others have either weak or no boundaries. And people who won’t take “no” for an answer are boundary busters. These people remind me of a country-western song where the lady being pursued is having a problem with a would-be suitor in whom she has no interest. She asks, “What part of ‘no’ don’t you understand … I’d be glad to explain….”

On the other hand, walls put up insurmountable barriers and shut everybody out. People who build walls around their heart have been hurt in the past and, being afraid of getting hurt again, shut out everybody. You simply can’t get close to this type of person. Consequently they have no close relationships and suffer from an inner loneliness and love deprivation. This is a very unhealthy way to live.

Jesus set boundaries against the religious Pharisees and those who tried to get rid of him before his time was ready. He also set boundaries against the money changers and those who abused God’s house in the temple in Jerusalem. Meekness is not weakness and we, as Christians, need to set boundaries against abusive people and all evil. It is neither loving nor Christian to allow people to misuse us, walk over us, or abuse us—nor for us to do the same to others.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to develop healthy boundaries and learn to lovingly say ‘no’ when such is called for. And help me never to be a boundary buster who fails to recognize other people’s boundaries. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 19:19 (NIV).

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The Donkey With Green Glasses

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Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”1

“In the middle of Parable Land lived a donkey of medium age. He looked like a donkey … acted like a donkey … and sounded like a donkey. The unusual thing about him was that he wore a pair of bright green glasses, which he found while grazing, and thought they suited him very well. His behavior was very normal, except for when he met one of the other animals. The reaction was alarming; he went into a state of sheer panic and demanded they seek urgent medical help.

“Faced with such alarm, they usually did and always received a clean bill of health. It seemed that the trouble was those sunglasses. Everyone who was seen by the donkey looked very sick indeed.”2

In a similar way we all wear tinted lenses that have been formed and shaped by past experiences that cause us to see things “not the way they are but the way we are.”

For example, if a person has been hurt in the past and has a poor self-concept, he will have distorted lenses that will negate other people’s words. If someone gives him a genuine compliment, he may misconstrue this and see it as a form of manipulation. If a woman, when a child, had an abusive father, she will tend to view all other men through the same lenses she saw her father. Or if a man, when a child, had a controlling or smother mother, he will tend to view all other women through the same lenses he viewed his mother. Counselors and communicators call this “selective distortion.”

What we need to do is to look into a “relational mirror” so we can see the colored lenses we are wearing and the distorted view of life and of others that we have. This takes great courage and can be rather threatening. However, if we truly want to overcome “the donkey with green glasses syndrome,” we can. Here’s how:

1. Look at your overreactions, for whenever we are overreacting to a given situation, we are seeing things through colored lenses and are reacting on the basis of unresolved past issues.

2. Find a trusted, non-critical friend whom you can ask to point out to you whenever you are overreacting and are seeing things through past negative experiences.

3. Ask God to face you with the truth about yourself, and help you to see your colored lenses, and,

4. If necessary, see a wise, understanding and well-trained counselor to help you see your colored lenses and work through and resolve past hurtful and frightening experiences.

If we do this, our relationships and all of life will improve dramatically!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see any colored lenses that are distorting the events in my life and hurting my relationships, and to find the help I need to clear my vision so that I will see all situations as they truly are. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jeff Daly, Encounter magazine (ACTS Australia), Issue No 4, 2005.

2. Matthew 7:3-5 (NIV).

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