All posts by 5Q

More on Anger

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“If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly; for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.”1

What do you do when you get mad? Do you explode and “blow your top”—or try to hide how you are truly feeling? Do you deny being angry altogether, or just say you are upset, or do you go quiet and withdraw, or act in a phony saccharine sweet manner? Or do you handle your anger in a healthy and creative way?

Anger, for many of us, isn’t easy to handle, but when we deny it, try to hide it, or repress it, it comes out in many self-destructive ways such as a negative and critical attitude, nagging, sarcasm, personal or marriage conflicts, or many physical symptoms such as ulcers, asthma, arthritis, heart ailments or any of a score of others.

There is nothing of itself wrong with anger. It is a God-given legitimate and needed emotion. For instance, we ought to get angry at evil and at actions that destroy people. Recall how Jesus dealt with the money changers who misused God’s temple. He drove them out with a whip.2 It’s what we do with our anger and how we handle it that counts. It isn’t helpful or right to lash out and hurt others. Neither is it helpful or right to nurse our anger (grudges). As today’s Scripture reminds us, it is important that we resolve anger (and all negative emotions) as quickly as possible.

To handle anger creatively—that’s the key. For help be sure to read the article, “Taming Your Anger” at: www.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=61&d=1&c=5&p=1.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you have created me with many emotions all of which are needed for healthy and creative living. Whenever I am hurt or angry, deliver me from the sin of denial, and please help me to be honest about my feelings, admit what I am truly feeling, and learn how to handle them in a creative, loving and healthy manner all for your glory. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 4:26 (TLB) (NIV).

2. John 2:15.

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How’s Your Self-Concept?

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“The most important one [commandment],” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”1 (Italics added)

If I were to give you nine compliments and one criticism, chances are that that one criticism would affect you much more than the nine compliments I gave you. This is because most of us don’t have a perfect self-image. If we did, criticisms would rarely bother or upset us.

Psychologist Dorothy Briggs wisely pointed out that the way we feel about ourselves affects our entire life: our happiness, marriage, work, personal relationships, creativity and stability.

In other words one’s self-concept is the mainspring that steers every child and every person to success or failure as a human being. A healthy self-concept and self-image is therefore one of the greatest gifts we can find for ourselves and pass on to our children.

The self-concept is basically comprised of three parts: (1) The self-image; that is, how we picture or see ourselves; (2) Self-esteem which is how we feel about ourselves; and (3) Self-worth, that is, how much we value ourselves. All of these add up to one’s level of self-acceptance, which is how well we love and accept ourselves in a healthy way. Unfortunately, as long as we don’t love and accept ourselves, it is very difficult to believe and feel that anyone else loves and accepts us.

God’s design for each of us was to learn self-love and acceptance when growing up through unconditional love from our parents. However, if we didn’t receive this then, it is essential that we receive it now. And how do we do this? First, realize that we can only ever feel fully loved and accepted to the degree that we are known. Second, we thus need a loving, safe, and trusted person, group, or counselor with whom we can be totally open and honest confessing all of our weaknesses, failures and sins—as well as our strengths—and be known, loved and accepted for whom we truly are. Third, through such supportive friends and their unconditional love and acceptance, little by little, we learn to love and accept ourselves in a healthy and non-conceited way.

Finally, we also need to learn to love and accept ourselves in the same way that God loves us. He knows us fully and, no matter what we have ever done or failed to do, He loves us unconditionally as we are. At the same time, however, he loves us too much to leave us as we are, because His plan for each of us is that we grow to become whole and mature in every area of life.

To know and experience God’s love, we first need to accept His forgiveness and be sure that we are a true Christian. For help to do this, see the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: www.actsweb.org/christian.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to know and experience your unconditional love, and through your love and that of supportive and trusted friends, learn to love and accept myself in a healthy way. And please use me to be a safe and trusted supportive friend to others who also need to experience your love and develop a healthy self-concept … all for your glory. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Mark 12:29-31 (NIV).

Note: For further help see the article, “Developing a Healthy Self-Image” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=123&d=1&c=5&p=1.

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Fear, Worry, and Anxiety

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“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”1

Imagine yourself in a wide-open field being chased by a tiger. Your brain gets the message and your adrenal gland starts pumping furiously, preparing you for instant flight. You run for your life. While you are breaking the world record for five hundred meters, you burn up all that excess adrenalin.

But what happens if you’re living all the time in a state of fear, worry, or anxiety? You become stressed out. This upsets the chemical balance in your body which, in turn, eventually causes you to pay for it through some kind of sickness or a physical breakdown. Stress is a killer. We need to learn how to keep it under control. To do this the following five “positive don’ts” will help:

1. Don’t ignore your well-being. Discipline yourself to live a well-balanced life. Be sure to see the “Balanced Life” wheel and article at: https://learning.actsweb.org/balanced.php.

2. Don’t bottle up (repress) your feelings. Learn how to share them with a trusted friend. And remember when it comes to negative emotions, what we fail to talk out creatively, we end up acting out destructively in one way or another.

3. Don’t ignore your physical health. Follow a healthy and well-balanced diet, and be sure to get plenty of vigorous physical exercise which, among many other benefits, helps burn up excess adrenalin.

4. Don’t ignore your social needs. We were created to be in relationships with others. Remember, too, when Jesus was on earth, almost all of his ministry was in relationship with the twelve disciples. And with three of these, Peter, James and John, he had a close relationship, as he did with his friends, Mary and Martha.

5. Don’t ignore your spiritual life. Learn to trust God with every area of your life, and live in harmony with God’s will and follow Christ’s example: “And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.“2 That is, when on earth Jesus developed intellectually, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. A very healthy example and model to follow.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to trust my life and way to you every day, and be sure to get all of my legitimate needs met in healthy ways, so that I will always resolve every problem in my life, and experience your peace no matter in what circumstances I find myself. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT).

2. Luke 2:52 (NIV).

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Family Communications

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“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”1

A friend shared with me saying, “My husband is a good man in many ways. He’s given me everything a woman would want: a lovely home, a good car, everything to make my life comfortable, plus freedom to do my own thing.”

“You must be really happy then,” I said.

“You’d think so,” she replied, “but I’m not. I feel that Bill has given me everything but himself. I know that he loves me, but when I try to share my feelings with him, he clams up or changes the subject. So how can I tell him how I feel without making him feel threatened? I just wish that we could really talk.”

We men need to realize that closeness and intimacy come from being open and honest, not just with our thoughts, but primarily with our inner self; that is, our emotions/feelings, and open in communicating at this level. So how do we learn to do this?

First, we need to learn how to get in touch with and be connected to our feelings—our inner self—and stop hiding our real self behind defenses such as being a workaholic, a talk-aholic, an intellectual-aholic, or even a religious-aholic, or a perfectionist, and so on. To be close, not only to people, but also to God, it is imperative that we are connected to our inner self. As God’s Word states, “Behold, You [God] desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.”2

Second, we need to bring back the wonder that we had as a small child—one of life’s richest emotions. To do this, take time to smell the roses. Plant a tree. Pick a flower. Take it to your loved one. Write a poem. Listen to music that touches your heart. Draw or paint a picture with your non-dominant hand (it doesn’t even have to be good). Climb a mountain. Let your hair down. Do something a little crazy. Get out of your comfort zone. Have fun. Go see a funny movie. Laugh. Go see a sad movie. Cry. The tragedy is that if we are out of touch with our wonder, we are most likely, instead of loving people and using things, to end up unhappily loving things and using people.

Third, take time to be with your spouse and children or close friends. Hug them often. Tell them that you love them. Take time to talk and even more time to listen to them. Encourage them to tell you what they are feeling. Listen with your heart. Give them your presence; that is, your full attention. And please, as another has said, don’t be cursed with the affliction to give advice when your spouse (or anyone else) is sharing her/his feelings with you! Giving advice where it is neither asked for nor wanted is being what Webster’s Dictionary calls “officious.” It’s also being obnoxious!

Fourth, join a good therapy, support, or twelve-step recovery group where it is safe to share your struggles and express your feelings without being criticized or put down, or given unsolicited advice. This is an excellent way to learn by others’ example and by practicing it yourself.

Fifth, if you feel closed down, you may need to get into counseling. Sharing feelings is something that is learned. If it weren’t learned in childhood, it needs to be learned now. We all need teachers for this.

Finally, pray a prayer such as the following: “Dear God, please help me to see and accept the inner-truth about—and be connected to—my true inner self. And please help me to learn how to communicate openly and honestly with my loved ones and to close friends, and always ‘speak the truth in love’ so that I will become more and more like Christ in every way. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 4:15 (NLT).

2. Psalm 51:6 (NKJV).

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Healing of Damaged Emotions

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“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”1

Dr. S. McMillen told of a patient of his who had an asthma attack whenever he heard a church bell ring. Why was this?

“Several years before, while waiting for his bride to arrive at the church, just as the church bell was ringing, he heard that his fiancée had changed her mind. The emotional shock brought on a severe attack of asthma.

“In the years that followed, every time he heard a church bell, he was seized with an asthma attack.”

This is just one of endless ways in which painful memories can cause sickness, emotional problems, negative reactions, or broken relationships for which inner healing of damaged emotions is needed.

Speaking personally, when I was only five years old, my little sister took sick suddenly and died. I’m sure people meant well and tried to comfort me in my loss by telling me that Jesus took her to be with him in Heaven. Unfortunately that didn’t comfort me because for many, many years every time I said the name of Jesus my stomach would cringe. I could say Jesus Christ, or just Christ, but I couldn’t say Jesus without over-reacting. And, as a small child, this also left me with a deep fear of getting into close relationships because I feared if I loved someone, they would leave me.

So how did I overcome? I wish I could give you a quick-fix-simple answer, but I can’t.

First, I needed to acknowledge my problem and learn why I couldn’t say the name of Jesus without cringing, and also why I was so afraid to love. The biggest challenge was breaking through my defenses, because my fear and damaged emotions were deeply buried. Second, I prayed earnestly that God would face me with the truth of what was the root cause/s of my fear. Third, I also prayed that God would lead me to the therapy help I needed because I knew that if I didn’t resolve my fear, I would keep running from love for the rest of my life. Consequently, I did need a considerable amount of in-depth therapy to resolve and overcome my damaged emotions. However, while breaking through my defenses was very painful, it was well worth it and very freeing.

Finally, and most important of all, I had to genuinely want to be healed and be willing to do everything I needed to do in order to be healed. As Jesus said to the sick man, “Do you want to be made well?”2 The fact is, the half-hearted are never willing to pay the price for healing and never make it. We have to want healing with all of our heart.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in all of life’s struggles please confront me with the truth of what I am in any way contributing to the situations I am in, knowing that facing the truth is the beginning point of being healed and set free.3 Thank you, too, for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 5:16 (NIV).

2. John 5:6 (NIV).

3. John 8:32.

For additional help, read the article, “Overcoming Damaged Emotions” at: www.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=72&d=1&c=4&p=1, also “Forgiveness, the Power That Heals,” online at: www.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=1&d=1&c=4&p=1.

I also encourage you to listen to the CD message, “Healing, Wholeness and Happiness,” by yours truly. This can be purchased online at: http://actscom.com/store/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=16. Also read the book, “You Can’t Fly With a Broken Wing” at: http://actscom.com/store/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=14.

For counseling resources see: www.actsweb.org/counseling_resources.php.

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Winning over Temptation

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“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”1

Temptation! A very common problem for all mankind and is something we all struggle with at one time or another—and perhaps will always struggle with it in this life. As God’s Word reminds us, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”2 Furthermore, “But each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”3

So the question we ask today is, “How can we win over temptation?”

First, at the beginning of every day pray this prayer with sincerity: “Dear God, again today I commit and trust my life and way to you, please help me to become the person you want me to be, and help me live today to glorify you in everything I do.”

Second, avoid going to places where you know very well you will most likely face temptation.

Third, temptation gets ahold of us in our thoughts. Realize that what the mind dwells on the body acts on, so guard your thinking. My number one defense for changing my thinking, when facing temptation, is to keep repeating the following statement: “Jesus Christ is Lord. Jesus Christ is the Son of the Living God and is Lord of my life.” As long as I concentrate my thoughts on Jesus Christ as being Lord of my life, shortly my thinking changes and the temptation dissipates.

Furthermore, Satan and his demons hate hearing the statement that Jesus Christ is Lord and that he is the Son of the Living God.

As God’s Word advises, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”4

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I confess that my flesh is weak so please help me to remember when I face temptation, that no matter what the temptation is, you always provide a way of escape so that I won’t be overcome. Help me to remember at such times to confirm in my thoughts and words that ‘Jesus Christ is Lord and is Lord of my life,’ and in so doing, with your help, overcome any and all temptations. Thank you for providing this way of escape and for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 26:41 (NIV).

2. 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV).

3. James 1:13-15 (NIV).

4. Philippians 4:8 (NIV).

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Godspell: God’s Good News, Part 2

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Yesterday we noted that the gospel, God’s good news, is not a message about religion but, first of all, it is a message about God. Second, it is a message about mankind’s weakness; that is, his sin.

Third, the gospel is a message about Jesus Christ. God is not only a God of absolute holiness, but also a God of perfect justice. Because of this, all sin has to be judged, and as God’s Word says, “The wages [penalty] of sin is death,”5 which, as already noted, is not the cessation of one’s existence, but eternal separation from a holy God, the creator and author of all love and life, in the place the Bible calls “hell.” The reality is that if God didn’t judge sin—all sin—he wouldn’t be just, and he wouldn’t be a holy God.

Mercifully for us, the gospel is not only about God being a God of absolute holiness and perfect justice, but also about God being a God of infinite love. Because of God’s infinite love for us, he gave his own Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the penalty (wages of sin), which is death, and he did this for every one of us.

To do this, Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, temporarily laid aside his “external garments” as it were, and came to earth in the form of a man, and willingly died in our place on the cross of Calvary to pay the penalty for all our sins. Furthermore, because Jesus was without sin, he was the only one qualified to die to pay the penalty for mankind’s sins. Had there been any other way to save mankind, Jesus would not have had to die for us.

Fourth (and finally), the gospel is a summons to faith and repentance. The really good news is that God’s gift of forgiveness and eternal life is available to all who will accept it. Here’s how to do this:

  • We need to believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he died in our place to pay the penalty for all our sins. “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved”6 declares the Word of God.

  • We need to confess our sins to God and ask for his forgiveness. God’s Word also says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”7

  • We need to repent. That is, we need to turn from sinful and selfish ways to follow God and his ways. Jesus said, “The Kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news.”8 That is, we need to turn from sinful and selfish ways and make a commitment of the will, with God’s help, to follow God and his ways.

  • We need to receive Jesus as our Savior. God’s Word says, “To all who received him [Christ], to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God.”9 God’s Word also said, “That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved.”1

Admitting and confessing your sins, believing that Jesus died to pay the just penalty for all your sins, inviting Jesus Christ into your life to be your Lord and Savior, accepting God’s forgiveness, and turning from sinful ways to live God’s way is what makes you a real Christian. This is what Godspell—God’s good news is all about!

Jesus said, “Here I am! I stand at the door [of your heart and life] and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.”11

If you have never invited Jesus into your heart and life, asked for God’s forgiveness, and made a commitment of your life to him, I would like to give you that opportunity today. The following prayer will help you to do this:

“Dear God, I confess that I am a sinner and am sorry for all the sins and wrongs that I have done. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross to pay the penalty for my sins. Please forgive me for all my sins. I invite you, Jesus, to come into my heart and life to be my Lord and Savior. I commit and trust my life and will to you. Please give me the desire to be what you want me to be, and to do what you want me to do. Thank you for dying for my sins, for your free pardon, for your gift of eternal life, and for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus name, Amen.”

If you prayed this prayer and truly meant it, please let us know by filling in the form at: https://learning.actsweb.org/decision.php. (Be assured that we have a strict privacy policy and will never give any of your information to anyone.) Or for further help read “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9

1. Romans 1:16 (NIV). 2. John 3:16 (NIV). 3. John 10:10 (TLB). 4. Romans 3:23. 5. Romans 6:23. 6. Acts 16:31 (NIV). 7. 1 John 1:9 (NIV). 8. Mark 1:15 (NIV). 9. John 1:12 (NIV). 10. Romans 10:9-10 (NIV). 11. Revelation 3:20 (NIV).

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Godspell: God’s Good News, Part 1

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In the first century AD in a time of severe persecution of the early church and Christians by the rulers of the Roman Empire, the Apostle Paul, being anything but politically correct, stated unequivocally, “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.”1

But what is the gospel that Paul was not ashamed of and was so convinced of its reality that he was prepared to face persecution and death? As Webster’s Dictionary explains, the meaning of “gospel” is “Godspell, God story, or good news.” Thus, the gospel is the good news about God’s plan of salvation for mankind.

First, the Gospel is a message about God. The gospel is not a message about religion. It’s about having a right relationship with God. Religion, or “religiosity” tends to want to fix us from the outside in. God wants to fix us from the inside out. The first can become an impossible burden. The latter is what brings freedom. Neither is the gospel a set of rules and regulations. It is experiencing God’s love, acceptance, and forgiveness—and learning to communicate these to every life we touch.

It helps to realize that God isn’t out to zap us for the wrongs we have done. In fact, no matter what we have ever done or have failed to do, God loves us with an everlasting love and has a wonderful purpose for our lives—for this life as well as the next! As Jesus said, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”2 And again, “My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.”3

Second, the Gospel is a message about sin. Many people understandably ask, “If there is a God and if he is a God of love, why does he allow so much suffering, sickness and sorrow in today’s world?” Without sounding too simplistic, this is because we have all sinned and separated ourselves from an infinitely holy God.4 It’s not that God left us, but rather, that we left God and separated ourselves from him. In so doing, we separated ourselves from his protection.

Another misconception about God is that he is out to punish us for our sins when, in fact, we bring sin’s punishment on ourselves because sin has its own natural consequences. If we try to break the universal law of gravity, for instance, we can’t. It will break us. Neither can we break God’s universal moral law. When we do, it breaks us and, besides its painful effects in this life—suffering, sorrow, sickness and physical death—its ultimate and tragic consequence is spiritual death, which is not the cessation of life, but a life after death that is eternally separated from God in the place God’s Word calls “hell,”

To be continued….

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for your “good news” message that you have for me in that, no matter what I have ever done of have failed to do, you love me unconditionally and totally. Please help me to grasp this truth in the very depth of my being. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name amen.”

1. Romans 1:16 (NIV).

2. John 3:16 (NIV).

3. John 10:10 (TLB) (NLT).

4. Romans 3:23.

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Creative Imagination

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“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”1

Mary looked through her kitchen window then frowned. “Those workmen,” she fumed, “have dumped a load of trash right outside the back door.”

Then the children came and shouted with delight! They saw, not a load of trash, but a glorious heap of play material.

Watching and listening, mother soon saw the children change the trash dump into a gleaming spaceship complete with excited astronauts—all done through the power of imagination.

Does life for you seem dull and ugly right now? Do you have a “trash dump” staring you in the face? With God’s help and the power of imagination you, too, can create a new image of what your life can be.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in all the challenges of life, please help me see beyond the immediate situation and imagine, with your help, what my life can become; one that is perfect [mature] and complete. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 1:2-4 (NIV).

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The Choices We Make Make Us

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“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.”1

Recently Joy and I caught up with an old friend we hadn’t seen for about three years and were shocked when we saw her. A few years ago she made a very bad moral choice which ultimately backfired on her. As a result she became very depressed and let herself run down emotionally, physically, and also spiritually. It was very sad to see her condition. I couldn’t help but think how the choices we make make us what we become.

In my youth I recall how I was challenged to serve God with my life and am extremely thankful to God that I made that choice. That one choice totally changed my life—both for this life and the next. I don’t know where I would be today had I not made that major life-changing choice. I can’t say that every choice I have made since then has been a good or a wise one. However, for every choice I have made, I have always reaped the consequences.

As another has wisely said, “It’s choice—not chance—that determines our destiny.” This is true for every individual—unless one is mentally impaired.

The reality is that we all make many choices every day. Most of these are simple choices, but from time to time we are called to make major choices which, in turn, always have major consequences for good or bad depending on the choices we make.

However, there is one choice that is, by far, the most critical of all of life’s choices for it affects not only this life, but also one’s life after death. It is the choice to follow and serve God, and to receive His forgiveness for all our sins, without which there is no entry whatsoever into God’s Heaven. As God said to the ancient Israelites, “Choose you this day whom you will serve.”2 We, too, are called to make this same choice.

To help you make this choice, be sure to read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: www.actsweb.org/christian.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you have made it possible so that I can choose to accept and serve you. Please help me to make that choice, not only for today, but for all eternity. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Galatians 6:7 (NKJV).

2. Joshua 24:15 (KJV).

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