All posts by 5Q

Hot Potato Follow-Up

“Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.”1

In response to a recent Daily Encounter on homosexuality a concerned subscriber asked for any suggestions that I could offer to help her talk and witness to a friend of hers who had chosen a lesbian lifestyle.

I didn’t have a clear-cut answer, but here’s what I suggested:

I don’t think situations like this ever have a simple, pat answer. I certainly don’t have any such advice. And while I don’t want to sound too simplistic, I think it is very important that we ask God to help us to be as Jesus to all questioners and to give us the right word at the right time.

A girl, whom I will call Mary, attended one of my weekend seminars on “Loving and Understanding People.” A participant asked about homosexuality and I expressed what God’s Word had to say about it and added that, at least for some, its roots can go back to childhood which can cause a woman to unconsciously be searching for the mother love she never received, and where a man may still be searching unconsciously for the father love he never received. Mary was extremely upset with me. In no uncertain terms—in front of the entire group—she declared in no uncertain terms that I was “a pharisaical religious b——!”

This was quite a shocker to say the least. I simply answered, “Sometimes I probably am.” It turned out that Mary was a lesbian.

To my amazement Mary turned up a few weeks later at a week-long, live-in workshop we had for those who wanted to work on unresolved personal issues. There were about 25-30 people in attendance. In this entire week not one person condemned or judged Mary. Early in the week I told Mary that while I didn’t agree with her lifestyle, I loved and accepted her for whom she was. In fact, the entire group loved and accepted her and by the end of the week she even gave me a very warm hug and said, “Maybe you are right.”

All too often it is a lack of love that drives people into acts of sin as they search for their unmet love need in all the wrong ways and places. And only love will ever bring them out again—that is, God’s love through us. True, we are to hate the things God hates, but at the same time we are to love the people God loves. And while God hates sin of all kind, he loves sinners of every kind. We need to do likewise because we all qualify as sinners.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, before I ever point a finger at anyone else, please confront me with any unresolved issues and sinful ways in my life. And help me always to love fellow sinners—and be ‘as Jesus’ to them—even when I see their sinful and self-destructive ways. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Timothy 4:2-3 (NIV).

<:))))><

A Little Child Shall Lead Them

“And a little child shall lead them.”1

“I had been a children’s Sunday School teacher at a particular church for quite a while,” wrote one lady. “I dearly loved it and its people. I had tried, on many occasions to get Bob, my husband, to take an interest in that church. He went twice, once because there was to be a big dinner after, and the second time to see the Christmas play, which I had written and directed.

“Bob owns Big Sun Tree Service and a few days before Easter, while trimming a tree, a branch hit him on the jaw causing it to crack. He did agree to go with me to church on Easter Sunday. However, before we left he bit down on an oatmeal cookie and ended up breaking his jaw and spending Easter afternoon at the emergency room.

“The following Saturday I asked him if he would like to go to church with me in the morning, and, remarkably, he said ‘I might as well, I don’t have anything else to do.’ At church, during the meet-and-greet time, one of the youngsters, Ethan Moody, handed me a $5.00 bill. Puzzled, I asked him if he wanted me to put it in the offering plate for him, and he replied that this was his allowance, and he wanted to give it to my husband to help pay for the dentist. I knew I couldn’t give it back to him, because it would hurt his feelings, so I gave it to Bob and quickly explained what Ethan had said.

“In that service when Pastor Ben gave the invitation, Bob accepted the Lord. Later that day I asked him what had prompted him to make that decision? He told me it was many things adding up over a period of time, but that the icing on the cake was when Ethan gave him ‘his weekly allowance to help pay my dental bill.’ That action had reminded him of the times I had explained to him of how God, because he loved us so much, gave up His only son to pay for my sins.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, like the child who expressed his love in a tangible way, help me to do the same for others in need who cross my path and whom you bring into my life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Isaiah 11:6 (NIV).

2. Source unknown.

<:))))><

God of the Ordinary

“Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Christ?”1

One of the wonderful things about the gospel is that God calls, saves, and uses ordinary people to help fulfill his purposes here on earth.

The culture of Jesus’ day was vastly different from ours except, perhaps, for racism. On one occasion when Jesus wanted to reach a Samaritan village with his message of salvation, he stopped by a well and made friends with a Samaritan woman. This definitely was not kosher for a Jew because the Jews looked down their noses at the Samaritans and had no dealings with them.

Not so Jesus. After asking this woman for a drink of water and conversing in some seemingly small talk, he directed the conversation to spiritual matters. Not only was this woman a Samaritan but one who had led a very colorful life. Jesus knew exactly what type of person she was. She was a social outcast which was obvious by the fact that she was drawing water from the well in the middle of the day. All the other women from the village did so in the cool of the evening.

After the introductory small talk, Jesus said to the lady, “Go and get your husband and come back with him.”

“I don’t have a husband,” she replied.

“I know,” Jesus said, “you’ve already had five and the man you are now with is not your husband!”

That would be quite a reputation even today, let alone in that society.

And yet, this was the woman that Jesus chose to be the messenger to carry the gospel to her village—which she did; and the people there came to see and hear Jesus for themselves.

Jesus, who upheld impeccable moral standards and high ideals regarding marriage, wasn’t shocked by this woman’s lifestyle. He saw beyond the externals and looked at her heart. Here was a woman who needed salvation and healing and was willing to admit her failures.

Neither is God shocked with you or me when we admit our sins and faults and bring them to him for his forgiveness, and when we acknowledge our brokenness and come to him for healing. And when we do this, he won’t worry about our past when it comes to using us as his witnesses.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you are not a ‘respecter of persons’ and that whoever comes to you, no matter what they have ever done or have failed to do, you will love, accept, and forgive them, and use them to be living witnesses of your saving grace and power. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: For help see “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

1. John 4:29 (NIV).

<:))))><

Relationships: Does True Love Exist?

“A new command I [Jesus] give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”1

A Daily Encounter reader asks, “Does true love exist? I have had three broken relationships. Each one made big promises he never kept. I have tried healing myself by reading some inspirational articles, but nothing worked. I always ask God, ’Why has all this happened to me when I was true to them?’ Is there no one made for me to give me love? I feel my life is full of regrets. Please tell me what I need to do to heal myself?”

The number one issue Encounter readers write to me about is poor relationships. The fact is that loving relationships—for which we were created—are vital for healthy and meaningful living. Without such relationships we limp along in the shadows of life eking out a lonely, empty and hollow existence—and very likely will die before our time.

True love does exist but it is a fruit of personal growth, maturity and wholeness—emotional and spiritual—for only to the degree that we are made whole will our attitudes, our behavior, our actions, and our relationships be wholesome.

Speaking personally, I had a lot of emotional issues from my childhood that I had to acknowledge and resolve before I found the love of my life. That took a deep commitment not only to God, seeking his help, but also for getting the counseling help I needed to overcome my personal issues and deficiencies.

Unfortunately, some Christians are expecting God to bring the “right” person into their life. It doesn’t work this way. If we want to be attracted to the “right” person, we need to be the “right” person. Only healthy people are attracted to healthy people. Actually, if we are truly honest with ourselves, we can learn a lot about ourselves by looking at our significant other relationships as we are as healthy or as sick as the people we are attracted to.

In earlier years why was I attracted to ladies who were afraid to love? It was because I was unconsciously afraid to love. This was because I had felt rejected as a child and was unconsciously afraid of being hurt again. To overcome my fear I needed to acknowledge it and get all the counseling help I needed to overcome. Was it easy? No, at times it was extremely difficult but I knew that unless I overcame my fear of love, I would be running from love the rest of my life. I acknowledged my need when my pain was greater than my fear.

So, like the young lady who asked if true love existed, if you are struggling with poor or impaired relationships, start by asking God to confront you with the truth about you and what it is in you that is causing you to be attracted to bad relationships? Without confronting this truth, you may be floundering in painful relationships for the rest of your life. As Jesus also pointed out, only the truth sets people free.

Then ask God to lead you to the help you need to guide you through the healing and recovery process. Unfortunately, in many parts of the world it can be extremely difficult to find qualified counseling help. However, there is some free online lay counseling that can be helpful. For counseling resources see https://learning.actsweb.org/counseling_resources.php.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see that my poor relationships are your wakeup call to awaken me to the fact that there are unresolved relational issues in my life. Please help me to see what these issues are and help me to find the help I need for healing and recovery. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 13:34 (NIV).

<:((((><

Responsibility = Response Ability

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands … so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”1

One of the great principles we need to emphasize to keep ourselves and our society healthy and productive is the principle of personal responsibility. It’s a principle that needs, through repetition, to be programmed into our belief system. It needs to be taught and demonstrated in the home and at every level of society—including among the highest business and political leaders in our communities and nation.

If people don’t believe they are responsible, they will not act responsibly. If they believe and know they are responsible, most will consistently act responsibly.

Obviously, we weren’t responsible for our background and upbringing but we are fully responsible for what we do about these and for what we become. The world doesn’t owe us a living. As the Bible teaches, if we are unwilling to work we shouldn’t eat.

When we repeatedly do anything for others that they can and need to do for themselves we can make and keep them overdependent, immature and irresponsible. It is not the loving thing to do.

I remember reading about some sea gulls in a fishing village that, for many years, fed on the scraps the fishermen left. When the fishing industry in this place closed, the sea gulls had forgotten how to gather food for themselves. They died of starvation.

The same principle applies to people. When we do things to keep them overdependent, we destroy their growth and maturity. It’s the same with God, he will bend the heavens to touch the earth to do for us what we can’t do for ourselves—such as on the cross of Calvary—but he won’t do for us what we can and need to do for ourselves. As another has said, “God feeds the sparrows but he doesn’t throw the food into their nest.”

One effective way to program responsibility into one’s unconscious mind is by constantly saying to yourself, either silently or out loud: “I am responsible. I am responsible. I am responsible.” And say it with the feeling that you really mean it and believe it. Just mouthing the words is meaningless.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I am responsible. Thank you for granting me this freedom. Help me to act accordingly always in all ways. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 (NIV).

<:))))><

When My Child Was Lost

“You are to go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone, everywhere.”1

Dr. Leighton Ford tells the story about when his daughter was young, several years ago.

I was minding the children while my wife was shopping. Debbie Jean had returned from school and was playing with her four-year-old brother in the back yard. When I called them to come in, Debbie Jean was missing.

I walked up and down the street calling her name—fearing the silence.

Later (after she was found) I reflected on the incident. During the nearly two hours that Debbie Jean was missing, nothing else mattered. In my study were books to be read, letters to be answered, articles to be written, planning to be done—but it was all forgotten. I could think of only one thing: my little girl was lost.

I had only one prayer and I prayed it a thousand times: “O God, help me to find her.”

“How often,” I ask myself, “had I felt that same terrible urgency about people who were lost from God?”

I had a similar experience when one of my baby sons was with his grandmother and I feared both were lost. I panicked a blue streak until I found them.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to realize in the depths of my heart that people without you are lost for all eternity. I’m available. Please use me to be as Christ to every life I touch, and do all that I can, in as many ways I can to help win others to you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: Please join with us to be a People Power for Jesus partner at www.actsweb.org/people_power.

1. Mark 16:15 (TLB/NLT).

<:))))><

Hot Potato Two: Alcoholism, Etc.

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”1

It is a fact of life that our lifestyle affects our life and that of our families.

Alcoholism, for example, affects millions of families and individuals. It tears families apart and is terribly damaging to children in their developmental years when they have a parent or parents who are alcoholics. It causes innumerable crimes including rape, physical and sexual abuse, murder, robbery and maimed lives and slaughter on our highways.

According to an article in Moody Monthly, homosexuals account for half the nation’s cases of syphilis, even though they represent only a small percent of the population. The reason? Promiscuity. Homosexuals are also the principal victims of AIDS and other infectious diseases, and are fifteen times more likely to commit a murder. And according to the EP News Service, the U.S. government spends more on AIDS research than it does on heart diseases. This is in spite of the fact that cardiac disorders claim forty times more deaths than AIDS.

And Pulpit Helps reports that 30 percent of all cancer deaths are related to smoking. There is also a 70 percent greater risk of heart disease among smokers than among nonsmokers.

God has a sound reason for all of his laws—including the ones that apply to the sins of the spirit such as emotional dishonesty, jealousy, envy, malice, hatred, resentment, greed, lust, an unforgiving spirit, and so on. All of these are damaging to the body as well as to the spirit just as much as cigarette smoking, and perhaps even more damaging. It’s good to keep this in mind when we judge other sinners. Whatever it is that we sow, that’s what we reap. That’s the law of the harvest. And God never goes against his own laws.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to realize that all of your laws are for my protection and that of my loved ones. And please help me to abide by them so that I can lead a healthier, happier life and be a good example for my children and my children’s children. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Galatians 6:7 (NIV).

<:))))><

Hot Potato One: Homosexuality

“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”1

About two decades ago a teenager asked me the question: “Do you think homosexuality should be legalized?”

Regardless of what I thought at the time, much of our culture has come a long way since then in accepting homosexuality as “an alternate lifestyle.”

True, everybody has a right to decide for themselves whether or not homosexuality should be legalized or accepted as an alternate lifestyle. What I did in this instance was share what I believed God’s Word had to say about the subject. “According to God’s Word,” I answered, “homosexuality is an unnatural condition2 It is listed with various other sins which are all destructive to human personality, and as such are opposed by God.”

The Bible also says that God will forgive all who confess their sins, but indicates that those who willfully practice sexual immorality, idolatry, adultery, male prostitution, homosexuality, stealing, greed, drunkenness, slandering, and swindling will not inherit the kingdom of God.3

If God is opposed to these damaging behaviors, can we justly justify or legalize any one of them? The reason God is opposed to these actions (and all other sins) is because they are harmful to those whom he loves—us. Furthermore, it has never been proven that homosexuality is in one’s genes any more than pedophilia is. And if they are, perhaps sin, too, is in our genes because we are born with a sin nature. But would that justify sinful acts? In fact, there are usually deep psychological causes behind many of these external “acts of sin.” The causes often have their roots in the past and need to be confronted if a person is to find wholeness, healing and recovery—emotional and spiritual.

If we justify and legalize any act of sin, we harm the person involved much more than we ever help him. It gives him/her an excuse not to confront and resolve his/her problem.

As Christians we are to accept and love the sinner and not judge or condemn him (because we are all sinners and are probably all guilty of at least greed, gossip, or slandering which are listed in God’s Word along with the sin of homosexuality).This doesn’t mean that we accept, excuse, or approve anyone’s sinful behavior (including our own). Very often it is a failure in love in early childhood that “drives” people into some acts of sin. Only love, Christ’s unconditional love through us, will ever draw these people out again.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to always accept what you say and not yield to the pressure of so-called political correctness. Help me to take the beam out of my own eye before trying to take the splinter out of another’s eye. And like you, while I oppose all sin, please help me to love the sinner unconditionally and thereby help draw him to you for your healing grace, forgiveness, and victory over his sinful behavior. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: Please read Chuck Colson’s article on BreakPoint, “When a Dog Says Moo” at: http://tinyurl.com/ntceqf.

1. Romans 6:23 (NIV).

2. Romans 1:27

3. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

<:))))><

Seek Wise Counsel

“Listen to wise advice; follow it closely, for it will do you good, and you can pass it on to others: Trust in the Lord.”1

“My wife is leaving me,” one man said to me, “what can I do?” My gut response (which I kept to myself) was, “Why didn’t you come to me at least five years sooner?”

I tried to assure this man that if he and his wife both genuinely wanted to save their marriage, there were no guarantees, but with wise counsel, deep honesty, courage, hard work and God’s help, they undoubtedly could. Both, however, need to be totally committed to saving their marriage, confront their own personal issues and quit playing the blame game, for in every conflict there are always two contributing to it in one way or another.

One way to keep a marriage healthy is to see and treat problem symptoms when they first appear. If these symptoms are the fruit of a deeper root, which they often are, they won’t go away of themselves. The longer we leave symptoms untreated the deeper their roots go and the stronger they become.

If there are things in your marriage or in other areas of your life that bother you, it is wise to seek competent guidance from a qualified counselor right away. Don’t put it off any longer. Make that appointment you know you need to make—today.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to recognize the symptoms in my life which, if left unattended and ignored, in time could harm or even destroy my closest relationships—including my relationship to you. And as I diligently seek the help I need, please lead me to the best help to meet my need. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 22:17-19 (TLB/NLT).

<:))))><

Gift of Encouragement

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”1

Michael Josephson of Character Counts says that “Mark Gibson, a former gymnastics coach, tells a wonderful story about a 15-year-old girl I’ll call Cindy. When Mark coached at a gym where several world-class gymnasts worked out, he said Cindy was the most important person in the gym. Cindy wasn’t the best athlete—not even close. But when she was in the gym, everyone whined and complained less, worked harder and achieved more. She brought out the best in everyone. You see, Cindy was blind.

“When it was her turn to do the vault, her mother would run alongside her, saying, “We’re getting close, we’re closer,” and when her mom said, “Vault!” Cindy, with complete trust in her mother and herself, would jump. It was awesome.

“Neither Cindy nor her mother allowed her sightlessness to confine her, so they soared like eagles for all to see. Cindy led in the most powerful way possible, not by fancy rhetoric but by example. All who watched her strive to be the best she could be realized how much more there is within themselves.”2

Cindy’s mother was a great encourager to her daughter. As Christians, that’s what you and I need to do for others.

The word encourage comes from “en,” meaning “in,” and “courage” meaning to “fortify one’s inner strength in fearful situations.” In other words, an encourager is one who puts courage into another or who puts inner strength into others when they are afraid or needing a helping hand.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for all the people in my life who have encouraged me along the way—who have helped spur me on when I was feeling insecure, fearful, and afraid of failure. They were ‘as Jesus’ to me. Help me to be sensitive to the needs of fellow strugglers and be ‘as Jesus’ to them and be a great encourager in their time of need. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV).

2. Michael Josephson of Character Counts www.charactercounts.org

<:))))><