All posts by 5Q

Personal Honesty: Key to Effective Relationships Part I

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“So he said, ‘I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.’”1

There was a time in my life when I thought that to be liked, I had to be strong—strong like the Rock of Gibraltar. Let the storms rage, the lightning strike, the winds blast, and the seas beat violently against it, and there it stands, solid as a rock and secure.

To me, fear was weak and anger bad, so you never showed these emotions, and as a man you certainly never showed your hurt feelings or cried. Through years of practice, I learned to hide many of my emotions, put on a brave front, and pretend to be something outwardly that I wasn’t feeling inwardly.

The trouble with being a rock, however, is that rocks don’t feel. They aren’t real either, and they can’t relate intimately to anyone. Neither could I. Like the first man, Adam, who feared rejection, “I, too, was afraid, so I hid myself.”

One of the serious side effects of denying and hiding our emotions is that we deposit them in our unconscious memory bank where they build up unhealthy interest. The payoff is that we either withdraw or become defensive, touchy, hostile, non-feeling, cold and distant, and/or depressed.

Or we act out these buried emotions through destructive behavior or physical illnesses. Medical science reminds us that unresolved emotions such as fear, sorrow, envy, resentment and hatred are responsible for many of our sicknesses. Estimates vary from 60 percent to nearly 100 percent.2

The point is, whenever we fail to admit our faults and talk or write out our negative feelings in creative ways, we inevitably act them out in self-destructive ways.

Dr. Cecil Osborne, author and counselor wrote, “Many persons bury feelings which they find unacceptable. For instance, one learned as a child that hate, greed, jealousy, fear and lust were ‘bad.’ ‘You shouldn’t feel that way,’ is the message which the child received, verbally or otherwise. Furthermore, by a clever bit of unconscious dishonesty, one may have said to himself, ‘A Christian never hates. I am a Christian, therefore I never feel hatred.’ And the aggression which is part of the normal equipment of an average human being is then buried in the unconscious, only to come out in some unacceptable form, often as a physical symptom.”3

Denial of emotions also acts as poison to relationships. It erects “brick walls” around the heart and suffocates love, intimacy and closeness.

To be continued …

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please deliver me from the sin of dishonesty (denial) and help me to be honest and real with myself, others, and with you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Genesis 3:10 (NKJV).

2. S. I. McMillan, None of These Diseases, Marshall, Morgan and Scott, 1966, p. 7.

3. Leader’s Handbook, p. 32. Yokefellows Inc., Millbrae, California.

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Dare to Be Honest

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“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.”1

In Moody Monthly George Sweeting writes about the desperate need for honesty in our culture. He refers to Dr. Madison Sarratt, who taught mathematics at Vanderbilt University for many years, who, before giving a test, would caution his class something like this:

“Today I am giving two examinations: one in trigonometry and the other in honesty. I hope you will pass them both. If you must fail one, fail trigonometry. There are many good people in the world who can’t pass trig, but there are no good people in the world who cannot pass the examination of honesty.”

In the news in recent times we are hearing more and more about cheaters in high school, cheaters in college, cheaters in politics, cheaters in business…. Cheaters may appear to win in the short run but the fact remains, in the long run cheaters never win. Sooner or later their cheating will catch up with them. The broker who cheated on me and stole my retirement fund spent six years in jail, and that’s small punishment in terms of his self-punishment in what he has done to his self-concept and character. Will anyone ever trust him again?

The tragedy is that the more our society accepts cheating and personal dishonesty as a way of life, the more we hurt ourselves and ultimately our society. Self-governing to survive for the long haul is dependent on the honesty, good will and character of those being governed. When we can no longer be trusted to abide by the laws—especially the laws as found in the Ten Commandments, which were given for the benefit and freedom of every society, the law will end up governing us not as a democracy but as a dictatorship or some other form of legalistic bondage. In fact, without honesty, character and sound ethics, a free society cannot survive as a free society for the long term.

God’s laws are for the good of all. We defy them to our peril.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for your laws that are given for the good of all. Please give me a great respect and appreciation of all of your laws and the courage to abide by them. And please help me to be honest with myself, with you, and with others in all of my dealings. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Joshua 1:7 (NIV).

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Strike Three and You’re IN!

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“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”1

Motivational speakers ask the question, “What would you like to do if you knew for certain that you couldn’t fail?” Good question. I’m sure that many a life’s dream, hope, and/or ambition is lost because of the fear of failure.

Perhaps a better question to ask is: “So what if you do fail?” What is the worst thing that could happen? Ninety-nine percent of the time you could learn from the experience and be better qualified to try again. I doubt if there is anyone who has succeeded in fulfilling their life’s dream and goals who hasn’t experienced failure—or even many failures before they succeeded.

What we need to realize is that there is no shame in failure. As another has said, “Low aim, not failure, is a ‘crime.’” In fact, failure can be our greatest teacher. It’s only as we are willing to risk failure that we can ever succeed and become a true winner. Remember, too, that failure is an event not a person. The only real failure is not to get up and keep trying one more time than we fall or get knocked down. In baseball it may be strike three and you’re out. Not so for a successful life where it is:

Strike Three and You’re In!

We only succeed when
we’re willing to fail;
We only score goals when
we’re willing to be tackled;
We only hit home runs when
we’re willing to strike out;
And we only win when
we’re willing to risk failing.
Consider the high jumper who
only discovers how high he can jump
when he reaches his failure point.
Consider Babe Ruth, too,
the year he broke the world record
for hitting the most home runs,
he also broke the record
for scoring the most strike-outs!
Success, however exhilarating,
doesn’t teach one how to be a winner.
In fact, failure is the greatest teacher
to help one win in the game of life.
So, if you want to hit home runs,
stand at the plate, start swinging,
be willing to strike out –
and begin winning!

– Dick Innes

© Copyright 2000 Dick Innes

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to discover my God-given life purpose and goal and pursue it with all my heart and strength—and never give up—knowing that failures are a part of the learning experience. Help me to remember, too, regarding any goal/purpose that is your will, with your help there is always a way to achieve it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV).

Note: For more poems by Dick go to http://tinyurl.com/poems-rwi.

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Is There Life After Death? Part III

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“I am telling you this strange and wonderful secret: we shall not all die, but we shall all be given new bodies…For our earthly bodies, the ones we have now that can die, must be transformed into heavenly bodies that cannot perish but will live forever.”1

Yesterday we gave references of those who saw Jesus following his resurrection from the grave. Following are more witnesses: Eight days after his resurrection, Jesus is seen again by the disciples2 and at the Lake of Tiberias by seven of the disciples—including Peter, James, and John.3

On a Galilean mountain Jesus appeared to more than 500 of his followers at one time.4 He also appeared to his brother, James, who prior to Christ’s resurrection totally rejected him as the Messiah.5 Perhaps one of the strongest evidences of the resurrection is this dramatic change in James, who became one of the chief leaders in the early Christian church.

At the Mount of Olives, on the day of his return to heaven, Christ was again seen by the eleven disciples, the brothers of Jesus and several women, including his mother.6 Later the ascended Christ appeared in a blinding light to Paul on the road to Damascus,7 to Stephen when he was being stoned to death,8 to Paul again at the Temple,9 and finally to John on the Isle of Patmos.10

In about A.D. 100 Josephus, the Jewish historian, wrote in his Antiquities that Jesus “appeared to them alive on the third day, as the divine prophets had foretold these and ten thousand other wonderful things concerning him.”11 Since Josephus was a Jew writing to please the Romans, this story would not have pleased them in the slightest. He would hardly have included it if it were false.12 Ancient men believed that there was life after death. Jesus Christ himself taught this and proved it by his own resurrection. Josephus, the Jewish historian, reported Christ’s resurrection. And now modern science seems to confirm what the Bible has been teaching for several thousand years—that there is life after death.

The crucial point, however, is to be sure that we are personally ready for life beyond the grave. We can be by confessing our sinfulness to God, by acknowledging our need of God, and by responding to Jesus Christ’s call to receive him as personal Lord and Savior. To assist you in doing this and to be sure that you are prepared for life after death, read: “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

God’s Word says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”13

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you again for the assurance from your Word of life after death for all your true followers. Please help me to know for certain that I have accepted Jesus as my Savior and am prepared for the life to come. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. I Corinthians 15:51,53 (TLB)(NLT).
2. John 20:26-28.
3. John 21:1-23.
4. I Corinthians 15:6
5. I Corinthians 15:7.
6. Acts 1:9-14.
7. Acts 9:3-6.
8. Acts 7:55.
9. Acts 22:11; 17-21.

10. Revelation 1:10-19.

11. Josephus, Antiquities, Book 18, chapter 3, v. 3.

12. Josh McDowell, Evidence That Demands a Verdict, p.194. Campus Crusade for Christ International. Inc., Copyright 1972. Used by permission.

13. John 3:16.

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Is There Life After Death? Part II

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“‘Men of Galilee,’ they [the two angels] said, ‘why do you stand here looking into the sky? This same Jesus, who has been taken from you into heaven, will come back in the same way you have seen him go into heaven.’”1

Yesterday we shared the words of one person who had had a near-death experience. Another person explained, “The first thing he (the being of light) said to me was, that he kind of asked me if I was ready to die, or what I had done with my life that I wanted to show him?”2

Others experienced a deep sense of loneliness immediately after death. One person said, “I was aware the whole time of being alone—very alone—almost like I was a visitor from someplace else. It was like all relations were cut. I know—it was like there was no love or anything.”3

While these experiences are interesting, the most reliable textbook we have on life after death is God’s Word, the Bible, which says, “Yet we have this assurance: those who belong to God shall live again! Those who dwell in the dust shall awake and sing for joy! For God’s light of life will fall like dew upon them!”4

In the New Testament Paul wrote, “I am telling you this strange and wonderful secret: we shall not all die, but we shall all be given new bodies…. For our earthly bodies, the ones we have now that can die, must be transformed into heavenly bodies that cannot perish but will live forever.”5

While the most reliable textbook of life after death is the Bible, the greatest proof is Jesus Christ’s own resurrection from death. He wasn’t classified as merely “clinically dead” for a brief time. After dying on a Roman cross, he had been dead and in the grave for three days when he came back to life again.

Both the Jewish and Roman leaders hated Christianity. So all they had to do to destroy it forever was to find the body of Christ—which nobody ever did, for the Christian faith was established on the fact of his resurrection.

Christ’s disciples were so convinced of his resurrection that each one gave his life for preaching that Christ had risen from the dead. They believed this because they had seen him killed, buried and resurrected for themselves.

The morning of his resurrection, Christ was seen by Mary Magdalene6 and women returning from the empty tomb.7 That same day he was seen by Peter,8 later by two of his followers on the road to Emmaus,9 and at night by the disciples.10

To be continued . . .

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the record in your Word regarding the witnesses who saw the ‘Living Christ’ following his death, burial and resurrection. And thank you again for your promise of life after life for all your true followers. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: To be sure that you are prepared for life after death, read: “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

1. Acts 1:11 (NIV).

2. Raymond A. Moody, Jr., Life After Life, pp. 47. Mockingbird Books, Inc., Covington, GA 30209 Copyright 1975. Used by permission.

3. Ibid, P. 43.

4. Isaiah 26:19 (Living Bible)(NLT).

5. I Corinthians 15:51,53 (Living Bible)(NLT).

6. John 20:14.

7. Matthew 28:9,10.

8. Luke 24:34.

9. Luke 24:13-33.

10. Luke 24:36-43.

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Is There Life After Death? Part I

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“Yet we have this assurance: those who belong to God shall live again! Those who dwell in the dust shall awake and sing for joy! For God’s light of life will fall like dew upon them.”1

Dr. Billy Graham, world-renowned speaker who is well-known for his radio and television programs, says that the question most often asked him was, “Is there life after death?”

This is an age-old question. From earliest times people have believed that life does not end with the grave. “Indeed,” writes Dr. Raymond A. Moody, Jr., in his book, Life After Life. “graves from very early sites all over the earth give evidence of the belief in human survival of bodily death.”2

Is man’s desire for life beyond death just wishful thinking? Or is there evidence to support this belief?

Modern science seems to support it. For example, many people who have been pronounced “clinically dead” have come back to life and have given vivid accounts of being fully conscious after they had been pronounced dead by medical personnel.

For over a half-decade, Dr. Moody, who is (or was) also a psychiatrist from the University of Virginia Hospital, made a study of more than a hundred of these cases.

One of these persons described his experience this way: “I heard the doctors say that I was dead and that’s when I began to feel as though I were tumbling through this blackness, which was some sort of enclosure. Everything was very black, except that, way off from me, I could see this light, but not too large at first. It grew larger as I came nearer and nearer to it.

“I was trying to get to that light at the end, because I felt that it was Christ, and I was trying to reach that point. It was not a frightening experience. For immediately, being a Christian, I had connected the light with Christ who said, ‘I am the light of the world.’ I said to myself, ‘If this is it, if I am to die, then I know who waits for me at the end, there in the light.’”3

To be continued . . .

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the promise from your Word that ‘those who belong to God shall live again.’ This is a wonderful hope. Please help me to live with this assurance of eternity and with eternal values in view. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: To be sure that you are prepared for life after death, read: “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

1. Isaiah 26:19 (Living Bible)(NLT).

2. Raymond A. Moody, Jr., Life After Life, pp. 17. Mockingbird Books, Inc. Covington, GA 30209. Copyright 1975. Used by permission.

3. Ibid, P. 48.

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Successful Failure

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“According to your faith will it be done to you.”1

In the book, Chicken Soup for the Soul, Chuck Webster tells a story about Monty Roberts, the son of an itinerant horse trainer. Growing up Monty went with his father from stable to stable, farm to farm, and ranch to ranch training horses. Consequently he missed much of his high school education. As a senior he was asked to write a paper on what career he wanted to pursue. That night he wrote a seven-page paper describing in great detail his goal to build and own a dream horse ranch.

The next day he turned his paper in. Two days later he received it back. On the front page was a large red “F” with a note that read, “See me after class.” When he saw the teacher, he asked why he was given an “F”.

“The teacher said, ‘This is an unrealistic dream for a young boy like you. You have no money. You come from an itinerant family. You have no resources. Owning a horse ranch requires a lot of money. You have to buy the land. You have to pay for the original breeding stock and later you’ll have to pay large stud fees. There’s no way you could ever do it.’ Then the teacher added, ‘If you will rewrite this paper with a more realistic goal, I will reconsider your grade.’”

After thinking about it for a week, he turned the paper back in exactly as he had first written it saying to the teacher, “You can keep the F and I’ll keep my dream.”

Today, “Monty Roberts owns a 4,000-square-foot house in the middle of a 200-acre horse ranch in San Ysidro [California]. Oh, and he still has that school paper framed over the fireplace. He didn’t allow his teacher to crush his dream.2 I believe that he also owns a ranch in Santa Ynez Valley in Southern California.

Do you have a dream—especially if it is a God-given dream—don’t let Satan or anyone else “pouf” it out.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to know what your God-given purpose and dream for my life is, and give me the faith and persistence to never give up until it is fulfilled. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 9:29 (NIV).

2. Chicken Soup For the Soul, as quoted by Chuck Webster, “Dream Big,” The Words of Truth, Sept. 2003, p. 3. Cited on KneEmail. http://www.oakhillcoc.org/

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The Bishop Who Lost His Way

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Jesus said, “Heaven can be entered only through the narrow gate! The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for all . . . who choose its easy way. But the Gate-way to Life is small, and the road is narrow, and only a few ever find it.”1

Some years ago Bishop Fulton J. Sheen was scheduled to speak at the town hall in an unfamiliar city. He decided to walk and on the way got lost. He saw some boys so asked them the way to City Hall.

“What are you going to do there?” asked one of the boys.

“I’m going to give a lecture,” replied the bishop.

“About what?”

“On how to get to heaven. Would you care to come along?”

“Are you kidding?” said the boy, “You don’t even know how to get to City Hall!”

How tragic that so many people are lost, not on their way to any human address but on the way to their eternal destination. So many believe, as I once did, that if I did enough good things to outweigh the bad things I had done, that would get me into God’s heaven.

Not so, I’m afraid. Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father [God] except through me.”2 This is because, no matter how good we may be by human standards, every one of us is born with the “dis-ease of sin.” And if God allowed sin’s disease into heaven, it would destroy heaven as it has earth.

The only way to God and heaven is not through our good works but by accepting God’s Son, Jesus Christ, as our personal Lord and Savior. Jesus died to pay the penalty of our sin so he could deliver us from the effects of sin’s disease which is eternal death and separation from God—the source of all love and life.

Because of what Jesus did, God now offers you and me a free pardon for all our sins. All we need to do is admit we are sinners, thank Jesus for dying on the cross in our place for our sin, invite him into our life as personal Lord and Savior, and accept his forgiveness, his gift of eternal life, and a home in heaven forever. This is God’s special Christmas to all who believe.

Had there been any other way to be in a right relationship with God and heaven, then God never would have had to send his Son to die on the cross for us. So, if you have never accepted God’s gift of forgiveness and eternal life, and would like help to do that right now, be sure to read: How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian without having to be religious at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for your great Christmas love gift to the world and for giving your Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins. I believe and ask you to forgive all my sins. And Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross in my place and I invite you into my heart and life as Lord and Savior. Help me to live for you always in all ways. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 7:13-14 (TLB)(NLT).

2. John 14:6 (NIV).

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Be Prepared

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“Prepare to meet your God, O Israel.”1

Some “years ago as several million watched on TV the beginning game of the World Series baseball in San Francisco, there was a sudden interruption of the opening interview. The screen blinked and went blank. When the program resumed, a special news bulletin appeared. The San Francisco metropolitan area had experienced a serious earthquake. We all watched the live pictures as the huge fire in the Marina area burned. A remote camera crew was there and we saw the firemen fighting the fires.

“The scene I remember the most, however,” said the writer of this article, “was a group of people standing around just looking at the destruction and looking at the fire. All of a sudden a policeman came up to the crowd and yelled out to them: What are you people doing just standing there? You must get prepared immediately. Go home and fill your bathtubs with water. Be prepared to live without city services for 72 hours. The sun will set in another hour and your time is running out. Go and get prepared.”2

I can, at least to some degree, identify with these people. Living in Southern California I’ve experienced several earthquakes of varying degrees. In two of the worst—one a 4-point something and the other a 5-point something—I woke up and said to myself, just another earthquake, rolled over and went right back to sleep. That was a very dangerous and foolish attitude and I realized that I need to “wake up and get with it” the next time an earthquake hits, and at least dive under a table for protection, otherwise I could be badly hurt or even killed if/when a really big one hits.

Even as a kid I learned in the Boy Scouts the motto: “Be Prepared.” We all need to be prepared for unexpected crises as much as is possible. And absolutely nowhere is it more important to be prepared than it is to be prepared for eternity—to meet God face to face, “for man is destined to die once, and after that to face judgment [God's judgment].”3

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that in your Word, the Bible, you repeatedly warn us of the danger of not being prepared for eternity. Help me to know that I am ready to meet you face to face, and help me to so live that I won’t be embarrassed on that day but will hear your welcoming words, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’4 Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

NOTE: To be absolutely sure that you are prepared to meet God face-to-face and ready for eternity read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/christian

1. Amos 4:12 (NIV).

2. The Staff, www.eSermons.com.

3. Hebrews 9:27 (NIV).

4. Matthew 25:23 (NKJV).

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Feeling Loved and Accepted

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Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”1

Most of my generation (at least), “know how much the world fawned over actress, Marilyn Monroe. Perhaps fewer know how rejected she felt throughout her life. A reporter from the New York Times was interviewing her and, being aware of her troubled background, posed the following question: ‘Did you ever feel loved by any of the foster families with whom you lived?’

“‘Once,’ Marilyn replied, ‘when I was about seven or eight. The woman I was living with was putting on makeup, and I was watching her. She was in a happy mood, so she reached over and patted my cheeks with her rouge puff. . . . For that moment, I felt loved by her.’”2

How incredibly sad. One can understand why Marilyn ended her life at the height of her popularity. All the fame, attention, popularity and money together can never fill the empty void of an aching, lonely heart—a heart that deep down doesn’t feel loved.

Some time ago I watched Larry King interviewing Winona Judd on his TV program, Larry King Live. Winona has sold millions of copies of her recordings, and has achieved fame as one of the all time greats in female Country music. It was fascinating to hear her background. If I remember correctly, her father deserted her mother before she was born. Winona never got to see him before he died. She was crushed when she learned of his passing. She, too, struggled much of her personal life and shared how desperately lonely she felt when, after being on stage and adored by thousands of fans, had to go back to a hotel room alone. Winona may have had a loving mother, but she felt the terrible pains of not having a loving father.

Winona also spoke of her faith and said she is doing much better these days in her personal life. After hearing her story, one can understand why the title of one of her albums is, “What the World Needs Now Is Love.”

How true this is. Without knowing a mother and a father’s love, which millions of people growing up in today’s society don’t know, we limp along in the shadows of life trying to eke out a meager existence which no amount of fame, popularity or riches can meet. Loneliness, as it has been medically shown, can break your heart and take years off your life. Karen Carpenter, another famous singer—one who inadvertently starved herself to death—hauntingly sang, “Loneliness . . . it’s such a sad affair.”

People desperately need, not only God’s love, but the love of God’s people through whom, for many, is the only way they will ever find and experience God’s love.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in the midst of a lonely world where so many are looking for love in all the wrong ways and places, please help me to share your love with a lonely person today and, in so doing, may they sense that they have been touched by you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 13:34 (NIV).

2. Helen Colton, The Gift of Touch (NY: Seaview/Putnam, 1983), p. 102. Adapted. Cited on www.eSermons.com.

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