All posts by 5Q

Being Real Part I

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“Surely you [God] desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.”1

I once asked a group what they felt was the Christian’s number one problem. One jokester called out, “Apathy, but who cares?” Another said, “I don’t know and I don’t care.” As the old saying goes, “many a true word is spoken in jest.”

Yes, I agree that one of our major problems is apathy. According to a journalist who writes for the LA Times newspaper, one reason why vocal radical minorities are winning in areas such as gay marriage, partial birth abortion, etc., is because enough Christians don’t care enough to do anything about it. They sit back, do nothing, let it all happen—and when it’s too late, cry, “Foul.” The fact that in this country (the U.S.), according to a report by Chuck Colson, only 33% of evangelical Christians are registered to vote speaks volumes about our apathy. How soon we forget that “the price of freedom is eternal vigilance!”

However, apathy is just one of our problems. While we all struggle with various problems to one degree or another, my personal belief—either rightly or wrongly—is that our biggest problem is that of denial; that is, being unreal (avoiding the truth about ourselves). We hide our true feelings and motives behind a facade or mask of busyness, intellectualism, performance, success, achievement, religiosity, saccharine sweetness, rationalization, belligerence, control of others, addictive behaviors, superficiality, over-conscientiousness, self-righteousness, aggressiveness, satirical humor, shyness, a negative critical attitude, and any one of a hundred or more other ways—including apathy.

Some of us who say we stand on the Word of God actually hide behind it. Ironically we use God’s Truth as a defense to avoid facing the truth about ourselves. Controlling, dictatorial religious leaders do this. They hide their deep insecurities behind a façade of theological rigidity, super-spirituality, and/or authoritarianism—and deny that they are in denial.

Sadly, people living in denial don’t recognize what authenticity is and, in fact, are threatened by it. They may withdraw from authentic people. For others, it “rattles the cage” of their phony facade and, when they are in denial, they tend to shout all the louder and get even more belligerent, or become very defensive.

To be continued . . . .

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that the principles found in your Word, the Bible, are for our protection, well-being, and for our personal freedom. Help me to live in harmony with your will and be truthful in my innermost being—truthful to myself, to my closest companions, and above all truthful to you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Psalm 51:6 (NIV).

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Mirror Image

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“Instead, we will hold to the truth in love, becoming more and more in every way like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.”1

Dr. William Barker tells about the actor, Ben Kingsley who “starred as the main character in the motion picture GANDHI. He spent months preparing for the role, visiting the various Indian locales Gandhi had frequented. He even learned to spin cotton thread on a wooden wheel while holding conversations as Gandhi did. The physical resemblance between Gandhi and Kingsley was almost startling. After filming a scene in a village south of Delhi, Kingsley stepped out of a car, and an elderly peasant knelt to touch his feet. Embarrassed, Kingsley explained that he was merely an actor playing Gandhi. ‘We know,’ replied the villager, ‘but through you he will surely live again.’”2

As Christians, if we truly follow and serve the Lord, we will become more and more in every way like Christ. May God help us to so live that others will see the likeness of Jesus in us—as this is by far the most powerful and effective witness of our Christian faith that any one of us could ever have.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in the words of the song writer, ‘I have one deep supreme desire / that I might be like Jesus / to this I fervently aspire / that I might be like Jesus / I want my heart His throne to be / So that a watching world may see / His likeness shining forth in me / I want to be like Jesus.’3 Please help me to so live that people will always see Jesus in me and thus be drawn to you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 4:15 (NLT).

2. Dr. William P. Barker, Tarbell’s Teacher’s Manual, (Elgin, Illinois: David C. Cook Church Ministries, 1994). Quoted in a sermon by Rev. Billy D. Strayhorn, “One in Christ” http://www.epulpit.net/billy112.htm

3. Thomas O. Chisholm.

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Obnoxious Effluvium

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“But he, willing to justify [excuse] himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbor?”1

The effluvium (stench) in Joy’s home office was putrid. It was about the same as when we had a dead rat in a wall in the last home where we lived. Leaving the windows open day and night didn’t alleviate the wretched smell. Burning several scented candles in the room didn’t help either. Joy and I must have looked a sight crawling around the room on the floor sniffing the walls to see if we could find the place where the rat or rats had been trapped and died. We emptied drawers and sniffed in them. We sniffed in the closet. We sniffed the bookshelves. All our sniffing efforts to find and eliminate the culprit were in vain. We even had a termite inspector crawl around in our attic thinking the offensive culprit may have died in the ceiling.

Then lo and forsooth, a few days later, Joy happened to be cleaning her desk and there, right under our nose, under a pile of papers was the sickening culprit. No, it wasn’t a rat. It was an Easter egg left there by one of our grandkids some weeks before. What a mess! What a stink! We had a great laugh at our folly!

Seriously, have you ever noticed that many of our personal problems are caused by our failure to clean up our lifestyle? And how we search everywhere for a hook upon which to hang the blame for our problems . . . and all the while the problem is right under our nose?

Speaking personally, more often than not, I am the main cause of the difficulties I have. What others have done to me may or may not be a problem, but how I react is always my responsibility—and to the degree that I overreact, that is always my problem. In other words what bothers me is my problem. And the answer to resolving my problem so often lies within myself.

Difficult to see, I know, and even harder to admit, but the fact remains I am my own biggest problem and as long as I play the blame-game, I will never overcome or resolve my problems.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in every conflict in which I happen to find myself, please confront me with the reality of what I have contributed or am contributing to it. Help me to accept responsibility for my part and resolve that—and commit and trust to you any others that may be involved. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 10:29 (KJV).

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Good Morning God

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“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”1

When praying for God’s guidance, do you ever feel that your prayers are not rising above the ceiling? Or do you sometimes find it difficult to concentrate because your mind wanders all over the “wilderness” as it were?

I recall one occasion when I was badly wanting God’s guidance, before going to bed, I picked up my bedside telephone and dialed 1-800-4heaven—from which I received a recorded message that said in a flat monotone voice: “You are dialing the wrong number.”

I was at least amused. It is true that (whether we feel it or not) God does hear our prayers when they come from the heart. As the old ditty says: “I often say my prayers / but do I really pray / and does the meaning of my heart / go with the words I say?” God doesn’t always answer our prayers in the way we want, but he always answers them in one way or another. Sometimes his answer is “no,” sometimes it is “yes,” and sometimes it is “wait a while.”

However, when having a difficult time praying, I have on many occasions written my prayers to God. This is something that King David often did in his Psalms. I have found this very helpful and suggest that you try and practice doing this oftentimes.

Today’s suggested prayer is an example: “Good morning, God, this is Jane (your name) calling/writing. Thank you for your promise that you always hear my prayers when I pray sincerely from my heart. Again today I commit and trust my life and way to you. Please guide me in the way that I should go. I am available so please use me to be ‘as Jesus’ in some way to every life I touch this day. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus name, amen.”

For further help read the article, “How to Pray Effectively” at:

http://tinyurl.com/good-morning-God

1. Psalm 145:18.

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God’s Will—Our Hiding Place

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“For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.”1

In her bestseller book, The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom tells of the tense times in Holland during the German invasion. One night when there was bombing and shelling happening all around the house where she and her sister lived, Corrie couldn’t sleep. Hearing her sister in the kitchen, she decided to go down and join her.

Long into the night after all the bombing ceased and all was silent, Corrie returned to her bed only to find that her pillow—right where her head lay—had been pierced with a sizable piece of sharp metal shrapnel from an exploding bomb! Going downstairs to the kitchen saved her life!

She rushed to tell her sister saying, “Betsie, if I hadn’t heard you in the kitchen . . . .” To this her saintly sister interrupted, “Don’t say it, Corrie. There are no ifs in God’s world. The center of his will is our safety.”

Later through terrible trying times in a Nazi prison, Miss Ten Boom was to learn over and over this marvelous truth: “God’s will is our hiding place.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I don’t ask that you deliver me from the storms of life, but please help me to find deliverance in them. Hide me in the hollow of your hand, and in the shelter of your tabernacle, and set me high upon a rock. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

1. Psalm 27:5 (NIV).

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Don’t Quit

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From the Apostle Paul: “But this precious treasure—this light and power that now shine within us—is held in perishable containers, that is, in our weak bodies. So everyone can see that our glorious power is from God and is not our own. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed and broken. We are perplexed, but we don’t give up and quit. We are hunted down, but God never abandons us. We get knocked down, but we get up again and keep going.”1

I suppose there are times when all of us feel overcome by problems and feel like quitting. I’ve been there, but couldn’t find anything better than my Christian faith to quit to. Today I thank God for the courage to keep going, not knowing that God was allowing trials to strengthen my faith and to help me grow.

If you feel like giving up and quitting, perhaps the following poem will encourage you to hang in, hang on, but never hang up when the going gets tough.

Don’t Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,

When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high,

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest, if you must—but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow—

You might succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than

It seems to a faint and faltering man,

Often the struggler has given up

When he might have captured the victor’s cup,

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,

How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out—

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems afar;

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit—

It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.2

I also like a quote attributed to Joseph P. Kennedy that Robert Schuller has used: “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Or as the title of one of his books says, Tough Times Never Last. Tough People Do.

God never forsook the Apostle Paul who faced incredible trials and opposition. And he will never forsake you or me as long as we place our trust in him.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you will never forsake or abandon me. Please help me always to put my trust in you and your faithfulness regardless of my circumstances, knowing that in the end my faith and trust in you will be justified. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9 (NLT).

2. Unknown.

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Handling Nastiness

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“He that would love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking guile; let him turn away from evil and do right; let him seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those that do evil.”1

No doubt, most of us, at one time or another, have been hurt deeply either through a misunderstanding or purposely by another. When we are, how do we handle our hurt and angry feelings in a gracious and God-like manner? Not always easily I have to admit.

Recently I received a letter from a pastor that was the most vitriolic letter I had ever received from a church leader in over 40 years of ministry. It was over an extremely simple issue. In an advertisement in a pastor’s magazine I had offered a free copy of my I Hate Witnessing book providing the recipient paid only for the postage. One pastor, after he received the book, accused me of extortion because I offered the book for free but requested he pay the postage. He added further nasty words about California Christians. He told me never to contact him or his church again! I don’t get my feelings hurt very often, but I confess, this letter not only hurt my feelings, but it also ticked me off (triggered my anger).

So how did I respond? Not in a hurry as I know it is never wise to answer anyone when feeling hurt, upset and/or angry. I admit that I wanted to give this man a piece of my mind so when I was ready to reply, I had to pray that God would help me to be “as Jesus” to this man. I did reply and sent this man a copy of the ad where it was very clear in two places that the book was free providing the recipient pay only for the postage.

Before mailing the letter, however, I sat on it for a couple of days, and also had Joy, my wife, read it to make sure there wasn’t any bitterness in what I had written.

The day before I wrote the first draft of this letter, I read the following timely quote from Leonard Hodgson who said: “Whenever pain is so borne as to be prevented from breeding bitterness or any other evil fruit, a contribution is made to rescuing God’s creation from the devil’s grip.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, whenever I am hurt and feel unjustly criticized, please help me always to deal with my emotions in a creative way, never lash out and hurt back, and always be ‘as Jesus’ to the one who lashed out at me. And when the criticism is justified, please help me to accept it graciously and make changes wherever such is needed. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Peter 3:10-12.

P.S. In addition, at the time of writing, of the 430+ pastors (including a few church leaders) who received a free copy of the book—two months later—only 75 had paid for the postage. I will send a third reminder, graciously.

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Overcoming Lust

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“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”1

A Daily Encounter reader from South America writes: “My name is Juan and I am writing for help. I have a ‘cannon’ within that is destroying my life—it is the cannon of uncontrollable lust. I’m married but am unable to control myself. I have been unfaithful, each time telling myself it’s the last time, yet again and again I fall. I’ve tried all within my will to stop but just can’t. I’ve lost all sense of self-worth and just go through the motions of life. I love God and I miss the sweet fellowship I once used to enjoy. How do I stop from destroying myself and my family? Please help me.”

Thank you, Juan, for the courage to admit that you have a problem with lust. This is the first step in the recovery from any problem. Next, while it may be difficult to do, it is important to admit that when lust causes one’s life to be out of control, he is a sex addict.

Third, understand that many, if not most, addictions start as a means to avoid facing the pain of some inner unresolved issue. It is the “fruit of a deeper root.”

Fourth, I urge you not only to confess your sin to God which you have said that you have done many times, but also to a trusted, safe male friend—one who will never betray your confidence—and keep yourself accountable to him. As God’s Word says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”1

Fifth, I understand that you have already confessed your sexual sins to God, but you also need to earnestly ask God to help you to see if there are any unresolved issues in your life that are driving you to act out in lust and sexual sins. For example, lust that controls us is often a result of repressed love, so you may still unconsciously be looking for the “mother love” you never received as a child. Or you could be unconsciously angry at your mother and taking out your anger on other women. Whatever is the root cause of your problem God knows what it is so I encourage you to ask God to show you what it is.

Sixth, if possible, it could be a great help for you to become a member in a SA (Sex Anonymous) group, just like AA (Alcohol Anonymous), SA is organized to help people to be freed from their addiction.

Seventh, I also strongly encourage you to get some fine Christian counseling to help you discover and resolve the hidden cause or causes of your sex addiction.

Finally, the first thing every day be sure to commit and trust your life and way to God. He can make a much better job of your life than you can. Following is a suggested prayer:

“Again, today, Dear God I commit and trust my life and way to you. Please guide me in the way I need to go, help me to overcome my problem with lust and sexual sins, and become the man of God you want me to be. Also, I am available, please use me today to be ‘as Jesus’ in some way to every life I have contact with. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

NOTE: I have quite a few articles on recovery so I suggest you go to https://learning.actsweb.org/articles/Recovery.php and read some of these articles. Especially read the article “Lady of the Night” and “Adultery: Caught in the Act,” Parts I and II.

1. James 5:16 (NIV).

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Unrelenting Love and Commitment

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“There is none righteous, no, not one. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory [holiness] of God.”1

“On Thursday, March 16, 2001, Kenneth Water, 46 years old, saw a cell phone for the first time, drank his first cup of Starbucks coffee, and ate his first corned beef sandwich in two decades. Waters had just emerged from 18 years in prison for a crime he did not commit. His murder conviction had been vacated by newly tested DNA evidence.”2

And how was it that Waters was freed? It was because of his sister, Betty’s unrelenting efforts. From the very beginning she was convinced that Kenneth was not guilty of murder. At the time she was a young mother of two children. She hadn’t finished high school, so she went back to school, finished her high school education, went on to college, and then to law school and ultimately became her brother’s attorney. She “waged an extraordinary legal battle that led to Kenneth’s release.” Through the checking of DNA it was proven that Kenneth Water was not guilty of the murder of Katharina Brow.

“Betty Anne’s commitment to proving her brother’s innocence is astonishing. By the time she walked out of the courthouse on March 16, 2001, she had spent 18 years in unbroken service to him. What commitment!”2

What an amazing expression this was of Betty’s love for her brother. It is also a graphic reminder of God’s total commitment to you and me—not because of our innocence, because we are all guilty before God in that every one of us has broken at least one or more of God’s commandments, and have fallen far short of God’s requirement for holiness.

As God’s Words reminds us, “There is none righteous, no, not one. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory [holiness] of God.”1 But because of God’s infinite love for us, he gave his Son, Jesus Christ, to die in our place to pay the penalty for all your sins and mine, so we could be fully forgiven and receive God’s gift of eternal life.

Suggested prayer, “Dear God, because of your total commitment to me in giving your Son, Jesus, to die in my place on the excruciatingly painful Roman cross so I could be freely forgiven and receive your gift of eternal life, I commit myself totally to you to live for you all the days of my life. And please help me to be as committed as Betty in helping to share your gospel message to others so that they will be delivered from a lost eternity and receive your forgiveness and gift of eternal life. So help me God. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: If you have never received God’s forgiveness by accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, please read, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” online at: www.actsweb.org/christian.

Or: If you would like to renew your commitment and dedication to God and Jesus Christ, please let us know by noting this on the response form at: www.actsweb.org/decision.php.

1. Romans 3:10, 23 (NKJV).

2. When You Can’t Pray, by Al Truesdale, Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City, Missouri, 2002, pp 87, 88.

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Fully Living—Fully Loving Part III

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“Jesus wept.”1

In this, our final part in this series on “Fully Living—Fully Loving,” we ask the question, how do we remove the barriers in our life that hinder or block our learning how to fully live and fully love?

First, we need to recognize that we have a problem—and admit it. As long as we deny the truth about ourselves, there is no healing or recovery. So I need to admit, “I have a problem. I need help.”

Second, read good books, listen to CDs and tapes, attend classes, seminars and retreats that deal with personal growth and recovery. Learn all you can but, remember, intellectual knowledge doesn’t produce healing or recovery, it just helps to understand our problem and know how and where to look for help.

Third, realize that we get damaged in damaged relationships and get healed in healing relationships. Every one of us—single or married—needs a soul-brother for men or a soul-sister for women. That is, we need someone who won’t judge us, put us down, try to fix us or give us unsolicited advice—someone with whom we feel totally safe so we can be totally open and honest, and feel free to share our deepest emotions (negative as well as positive), as well as our joys, sorrows, successes, sins and failures and thus be known for who we truly are—warts and all.

We all need someone who knows us fully and loves and accepts us exactly as we are. This is what frees us to change and begin to experience healing in the deepest parts of our personality. Furthermore, only to the degree that we are known can we ever feel loved. Nobody can love a mask and nobody can ever feel loved who hides behind a mask. As long as we stay in hiding, we can never experience healing and grow to become a whole and loving person.

Fourth, if we have deeply repressed emotions we may need, as I did, intense skilled therapy. We each need to find the type of therapy that works for us, and a therapist with whom we can work. What works for me may not work for you and vice-versa. Group therapy can also be very helpful.

Fifth, many of us will need help to learn not only how to get in touch with our feelings, but also how to express them in healthy and creative ways. Learn from the life of Jesus. When he was sad, he wept.1 When he was angry, he expressed his feelings. At times he did this verbally and when he found the money changers ripping people off in the temple, he got a whip and drove them out.2 What we need to remember, however, is to always speak and act the truth in love.

Last and most important of all, learn to put God first in your life and seek his guidance and help for every area of your life. Learn how to pray effectively by praying the right prayers.3 Ask God to confront you with the truth about yourself. If you are serious about this, God will show you; but be prepared because it usually takes pain to break through our defenses. For me personally, only when my pain is greater than my fears am I able to get in touch with my inner pain. Remember as God’s Word says, “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”4 God’s Word also says, “Behold, You [God] desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.”5

If you consistently follow these six principles, you too, will be well on the road to fully living and fully loving.

Suggested prayer: Dear God, please help me to be totally honest with you, with myself, and with at least one trusted friend and/or counselor, with all that is in my inner self. And please help me to get in touch with any and all unresolved guilt and/or repressed negative emotions, and learn how to express (‘get rid of’) these in creative ways so that every barrier in my life that blocks my fully living and fully loving will be removed. So help me God. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus name, amen.”

1. John 11:35.

2. John 2:14-16.

3. See “How to Pray Effectively” at http://tinyurl.com/kb62w.

4. Psalm 145:18.

5. Psalm 51:6 (NKJV).

Note: For further help, see articles on recovery at: www.actsweb.org/articles/Recovery.php

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