I recall one lady who complained bitterly to me, saying in a mournful tone, “I can’t understand why God gave me such a terrible husband.”

“Who chose your husband?” I asked.

“God,” she said, totally convinced in her mind that he did.

There was nothing I could do to get this extremely unhappy woman to see that it wasn’t God who chose her husband, but it was she. With people like this it’s, “Don’t confuse me with the facts, my mind’s made up.” Or, as another saying goes, “A man (or woman) convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

As said before, unhappy people are attracted to other unhappy people and, if they marry, they have unhappy marriages. The opposite is also true in that happy people are attracted to happy people and when they marry, they have a much greater chance of having a happy marriage. It has little, if anything to do with God. It has to do with our facing our problems, resolving them, and growing up.

Unfortunately, some people, as John Powell describes them, treat God as if he were a giant Bayer’s aspirin pill with the prescription: “Take God three times a day and you won’t feel any pain.”

Not so. God will give us wisdom if we ask for it and guidance if we seek it, but when we want or even expect God to do for us what we need to do for ourselves and are responsible to do, we set ourselves up for disappointment with God, when in reality, we need to be disappointed in ourselves.

For those who say, “’Sorry, but that is the way I am … I was like this in the beginning, am now, and ever shall be …’ is a handy motto and delusion to have around if we don’t want to grow up.”²

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be made whole so that my lifestyle, actions, attitudes, and relationships are responsible and wholesome. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV).

2. John Powell, Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am, p. 167.