Secret Love

“Open rebuke is better than secret [hidden] love.”1

Kevin Axe in Salt shares how “an episode in the TV show, ‘The Equalizer,’ showed the hero talking with his son. When the boy was eight, the father had gone off for what seemed like forever to be a super spy. The son tells his dad he used to go sit on a special rock in the park and wonder what he had done that was so terrible to make his own father stop loving him and leave.”

“But I’ve always loved you,” says the Equalizer.

“I realize that now,” says the boy, “but I just wish love had a higher priority.”

Don’t wait until it’s too late. Show your love today to the ones you love the most. You can express it in numerous ways. And don’t forget to put it into words as well—every day. As Solomon said, “Open rebuke is better than secret love.” For some who are starving for some loving attention negative attention can be better than no attention. Positive, loving attention is so much healthier—and greatly needed by all of us. So, don’t let your love be secret! Communicate it openly and often.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank You that you love me and expressed it in giving Your Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for my sins. Help me to show my love and appreciation every day not only to You, but also to the ones I love the most, and I thank You for every one of them. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Solomon (Proverbs 27:5).

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Perseverance Pays

“Let us not become weary in doing good: for in due season we will reap, if we don’t faint.”1 Had Thomas Edison not been a man of faith, perseverance and determination, we may still be working by gaslight or, at least, it may have been many years before the first electric light was seen.


It has been reported that Edison failed over 6,000 times before perfecting the first electric light bulb.

On one occasion a young journalist challenged Edison saying to him, “Mr. Edison, why do you keep trying to make light by using electricity when you have failed so many times? Don’t you know that gas lights are with us to stay?”

To this Edison replied, “Young man, don’t you realize that I have not failed but have successfully discovered six thousand ways that won’t work!”

Because Edison believed an electric light was possible, he refused to give up. He tried countless types of material in his search for a filament that would work. He sent men to China, Japan, South America, Asia, Jamaica, Ceylon and Burma to search for fibers to test in his laboratory—all to no avail.

On October 21, 1879, after thirteen months of repeated failures, Edison finally succeeded in finding a filament that would work. While experimenting, the thought came to him, “Why not try a carbonized cotton fiber?” After going through two spools of cotton, he eventually perfected a strand only to break it while trying to place it in a glass tube. He still persevered with this idea for two more days and nights without sleep. Finally he succeeded in placing a carbonized thread into a vacuum-sealed bulb! Eureka! It worked.

“Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank You that You have a mission in life for me to fulfill. Give me the insight to know what it is, the faith to believe You will help me, the courage to attempt to do it, and the perseverance to hang in there and ‘not faint’ till my life’s work is done. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. St. Paul (Galatians 6:9).

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Be Prepared

“Prepare to meet your God, O Israel.”1

Terry George, director of ACTS work in Australia told how, at a special community fire safety meeting, the attendees were reminded that they live in one of the highest fire risk areas in Australia. Because of this, they needed to be well prepared ahead of time should their area be consumed by a bush (forest) fire. This was particularly pertinent at a time when so much of Australia was experiencing extreme drought conditions.

Terry and Lynne live right on the edge of Adelaide’s bush land in a delightful natural setting where they often see koalas, kangaroos, echidna, rosella parrots and many other birds and small creatures in their back yard. During a time of severe drought Terry was actually giving a kangaroo a drink from his garden hose. All of these things are a thrilling experience and, as such, it is all too easy to forget the dangers of their surroundings.

The first question the rural fire officers asked was, “Do you have an action plan in case of a bush fire?” Terry realized that he didn’t and was determined to make sure that he did for the protection of their home but especially for the safety and survival of himself and Lynne.

He was also reminded of the vital importance for all of us to have an action plan in place for when we come to the end of our life’s journey. God’s reminder to ancient Israel to prepare to meet God also applies to each of us. God’s Word also reminds us that “It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.”2

“Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank You that Your Word not only reminds me that I need to prepare now for when I meet You face to face, but also that it shows me just how I can prepare by accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior. Help me to make sure that I have done this and am fully prepared to meet You. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

NOTE: For help to make sure you are prepared to meet God read “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9

1. Amos 4:12 (NIV).

2. Hebrews 9:27 (NKJV).

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The Blame Game

“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”1

I have worked for a number of years in divorce recovery and relationship workshops. I have repeatedly found that a big percentage of people who have gone through divorce or have impaired relationships primarily blame the other person for the relational breakdown.

Many of us don’t like this but the reality is there are no innocent parties in any divorce or broken relationship. Both parties are contributing something, even if it is being too weak, too passive, too submissive, not having healthy boundaries, being immature, too overdependent or codependent, etc., etc.

A lady I was dating a number of years ago said to me, “Dick, are you angry at me because I’ve been divorced three times?”

I answered, “Angry? No. Frightened? Yes!”

“They were all jerks,” she stated.

“Why did you marry them then?” I asked.

In actuality, we are as sick or as healthy as the people we are attracted to—especially romantically. We can tell a lot about ourselves by the people we are attracted and drawn to. If we want to have healthy relationships, we need to see what we have contributed to any relational conflicts in the past and do what we need to do to become healthy people. Only healthy people find and have healthy relationships.

Our conflicts can be God’s wake-up call to motivate us to take stock of our life, face our character issues, take responsibility for overcoming our personal weaknesses and grow to become healthy persons.

As long as we play the blame game and blame others for our problems we will B-LAME!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me never to play the blame game but in every conflict help me to see exactly what I am contributing to the situation, and lead me to the help I need to overcome my character weaknesses. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Matthew 7:4-5 (NIV).

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On Guilt and Conscience

“If a person sins and does what is forbidden in any of the LORD’s commands, even though he does not know it, he is guilty and will be held responsible.”1

Do you ever feel guilty about things you shouldn’t feel guilty about and not feel guilty about things you should feel guilty about?

I do? Why is this? A major reason is that we tend to think in terms of guilt as an emotional response that comes from our conscience. This, however, can be misleading.

Keep in mind that guilt in the Bible is a legal term—not an emotional one. If we do what is wrong in the eyes of God, we are guilty regardless of how we feel. That’s also true of our legal system. If I break the law, I am guilty whether I feel guilty or not—or whether I get caught or not. For some, guilt is more a fear of getting caught.

On the other hand, conscience, while very important, is a learned emotional response. The word “conscience” comes from “con” meaning “with” and “science” meaning “knowledge.” Thus conscience means “with knowledge.” We were born with the ability to learn what was right and what was wrong but the programming of our conscience came largely from those who shaped our formative years. For some, a legalistic parent, church or religion gave them a very punitive conscience. At the opposite extreme, a loose-living parent or teacher failed to give any meaningful programming to a child’s conscience.

As adults, to have a healthy conscience we need to reprogram or reeducate it to make sure it is in harmony with the source of all truth and knowledge as to what is right and what is wrong—that is God’s Word, the Bible.

Based on this knowledge, the important thing is to always do what is right regardless of how we feel. As we consistently act in this manner, little by little (over time) we will reprogram our conscience so it is in complete harmony with the will and Word of God.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank You for Your Word, the Bible, that instructs me in how to behave and live. Please help me to re-educate and reprogram my conscience so the way I feel will be in direct harmony with Your Word. And then, help me to live in harmony with Your will so I will always have a clear conscience. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Leviticus 5:17 (NIV).

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How to Win in a Lost Argument

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”1

Let’s face it, some people can be very difficult to live with and/or get along with. Some are impossible. However, following is an interesting tip giving one way to resolve a quarrel: According to Ludwig Bemelman’s in The Best of Bits & Pieces: “A book issued by the Army years ago gave all manner of advice to noncommissioned officers. It even tells how to make men who have quarreled become friends again. The men are put to washing the same window, one outside, the other inside. Looking at each other, they soon have to laugh and all is forgotten. It works; I have tried it.”

So the next time you have a quarrel with your spouse, try washing the windows! Admittedly, this would be easier said than done. It is extremely rare for Joy and me to argue over anything but when we do have a difference, neither one of us can rest until we get together, talk it over, apologize where we have been wrong, and put things right.

In a quarrel always aim for a “win-win” outcome.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, whenever I am in an argument please help me to know what to say and what not to say. When I am in the wrong, help me to be humble enough to admit it, apologize, and make things right. And if perchance, I am not in the wrong, help me to be humble enough not to rub in ‘my rightness,’ and gracious enough to forgive the one who has hurt me as You so freely forgive me whenever I sin and do wrong. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Romans 12:18 (NIV).

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What We Project

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”1

Jim DeLoach tells the following story: “A little boy in a fit of anger shouted at his mother that he hated her. Then, perhaps fearing punishment, he ran to a steep cliff near their house and shouted into the valley, ‘I hate you, I hate you!’ Back from the valley came an echo, ‘I hate you, I hate you!’ Startled at this, the boy ran into the house and told his mother that there was a mean little boy who lived in the valley who shouted at him, ‘I hate you, I hate you!’

“His mother took him back to the hillside and told him to shout, ‘I love you, I love you!’

“When he did, back came the reply, ‘I love you, I love you!’”

What we project is what we get back. If we project hatred, hatred is what we will receive in return. If we project love, love is what we will receive in return. We do reap what we sow—even if it is eventually.

“Suggested prayer: “Dear God, when I am angry, hurt or afraid, help me to realize that these are my issues, and help me to deal with these creatively so I will always project love wherever I go. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name. Amen.”

1. Galatians 6:7 (NIV).

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Lady of the Night, Part III

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”1

The previous two Daily Encounters shared how I had been approached in a city out East by a lady of the night and how we got into an interesting conversation. (You can read the previous two issues at: http://tinyurl.com/kwhdf29. Click on October 20 and 21).

Now I knew the reason why Toni was a prostitute. She was craving a father’s and mother’s love which she had never received. She was also acting out her inner hurt, anger, and self-hatred in self-destructive ways. She was desperately craving for love and acceptance—obviously in all the wrong ways and places.

Apparently there was another couple involved in this “business.” They could see that things weren’t going too well for them. They were closing in on Toni and trying to get her away.

I reached around to block them for a moment, put my arm around Toni’s shoulder and said, “Toni, I will probably never ever see you again, but there is something very important that I want to tell you. I hope you will never forget this as long as you live. It is this: no matter what you have ever done or have failed to do—and no matter what it is, and no matter how you ever feel or don’t feel, please remember that God loves you and so do I.”

And with that I let go of Toni and she was taken away.

As I sat down again I felt deeply moved in my spirit. Two people had related—heart-to-heart and not merely head-to-head as in so many conversations. Then I was struck with the thought that in God’s sight there wasn’t that much difference between Toni and me; the only difference being that, to overcome the voice of her inner pain and emptiness, Toni became a sexaholic. To overcome my inner pain and emptiness I became a workaholic—”for God,” no less! But with God, who looks on the heart and not merely on the outward appearance, there wasn’t any difference—Toni and I had both sinned and come short of the perfection (wholeness) that God had envisioned for us both.2

In God’s sight we were both equally sinners. And then as I sat there in deep contemplation, waiting for my friend to get off work, another truth hit me. It was this: It was a lack of love that drove Toni into acts of sin. Only love will ever take her out again!

Love, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness. That’s the message of Christ and true Christianity. It’s the message that we all need to hear—and experience. And it’s the message that Christ has for you and me today (and the message He wants you and me to give to everyone else in need). As another has said, “Christianity is experiencing divine love, divine acceptance and divine forgiveness and communicating this to every life we touch.”

So, dear reader, God wants you to know, too, that no matter what you have ever done or have failed to do, He loves you and has the gift of acceptance and forgiveness for you. It’s yours for the taking. Why not respond to God’s love today by confessing your need and asking for His forgiveness and healing?

For help be sure to read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me always to be accepting and non-judgmental of fellow sinners and be one to whom they feel safe to confess their sins—and help them to turn to You for Your forgiveness. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. John 1:9 (NIV).

2. Romans 3:23.

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Lady of the Night, Part II

“They kept demanding an answer, so he [Jesus] stood up again and said, ‘All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!’”1

Continuing our series on “Lady of the Night” … I was saying how, when traveling out East, I was approached by a young lady in the lobby of a large hotel whose name was Toni (not her real name).

After asking her various questions about her background, Toni seemed to get suspicious and blurted out, “Hey, Dick, wait a minute. Nobody in my whole life has ever talked to me like this before. By the way, who are you? What do you do?”

Oh, no, I thought to myself, if I tell her who I am and what I do, she’ll really clam up and that’ll be the end of our conversation.

I didn’t want to answer Toni’s question so I stood there and grinned rather foolishly. I probably learned that technique early in life in order to disarm my mother when she was mad at me. It used to work then. It didn’t now. I decided to tell Toni the truth.

“You’ll never believe me,” I finally replied, “but I’m a minister of religion,” to which I fully expected her to give some lame excuse and leave.

But Toni never batted an eyelid. As quick as a flash she responded, “You mean you believe in the Lord?”

“Yes,” I said, relieved that my reply didn’t make her turn and run.

“So do I,” she said positively, and continued, “I often pray in the shower and ask God to forgive my sins.”

Interesting, I thought to myself. That’s pretty common. Like Pilate of old who washed his hands after he had Jesus condemned to be crucified, people still try to wash away their guilt—which neither water nor the symbolic act of washing can do. Only God can take and wash our guilt away.

But Toni didn’t give me a chance to reply again. She just opened up to me. She told me all about her family and her work, how much she despised what she was doing, how unhappy she had always been, how she felt that her father had rejected and deserted her and moved a thousand miles away. She hadn’t seen him since she was a little girl. She had been deeply hurt by him. She also told me in no uncertain terms how much she hated her mother.

And then came the “crunch” line. I knew there would be one, but wasn’t sure what it would be. “Dick,” she said with tears brimming in her eyes, “in my whole life I have never ever felt that anyone ever loved me. I am terribly lonely all of the time.”

I got a little watery-eyed myself. “I can understand how you feel,” I genuinely said. “I came from a broken home too. My parents were divorced. And I hated my father because I felt that he rejected me. I know what it’s like to feel lonely—like you’re all alone in the world and nobody loves you or even cares that you exist. I know exactly what that feels like—only too well.”

To be concluded…

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please deliver me from ‘casting stones’ at those whom I feel aren’t living up to ‘my’ standards. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. John 8:7 (NLT).

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Lady of the Night, Part I

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”1

“Excuse me, Sir,” I heard somebody say. I turned to see who was speaking. I was taken by surprise. A young, reasonably attractive woman was standing behind me.

She paused a moment, just long enough to get my attention, and continued, “Would you like some female company?”

I’d flown into town and had been waiting for a couple of hours in the lobby of a large Eastern hotel to meet an old friend from college days. Suddenly I was awakened out of my day-dreaming. Would I like some female company? An interesting question, to say the least, I mused to myself and then repeated the question out loud to the young woman looking at me.

I was somewhat taken aback by this rather unusual confrontation. However, it didn’t take too much insight to realize that this lady of the day happened to be a “lady of the night.”

But somehow I sensed as I looked into her eyes a feeling of sadness … in spite of the brave front. So I introduced myself and asked her for her name. I’ll call her Toni. I knew that here was a young lady who was undoubtedly hurting in one way or another. So I began to ask Toni questions. “Why are you in this business?” I queried.

“Because I need the money,” she replied.

Undoubtedly her reply was a poor attempt to rationalize what she was doing. I didn’t disagree outwardly.

“Well, tell me about yourself,” I continued. “Do you have brothers and sisters? What do they do? Do you still live at home? What does your father do? And what about your mother?”

Toni began to open up and we were having an interesting conversation when suddenly she stopped, as if suspicion had caused an instant freeze on her flow of words. She blurted out, “Hey, Dick, wait a minute. Nobody in my whole life has ever talked to me like this before. By the way, who are you? What do you do?”

To be continued…

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me an understanding heart and be willing to listen to a person—and not judge or reject them because of their particular lifestyle and behavior. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’s name, amen.”

1. Colossians 4:6 (NIV).

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