Monthly Archives: November 2013

Givers, Takers and Keepers

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“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”1

I read how psychiatrist Karl Menninger once asked a very wealthy patient, “What are you going to do with all your money?”

The patient replied, “Just worry about it, I guess.”

“In that case,” said the doctor, “do you experience much pleasure out of worrying about your money?”

“No, but I feel much terror when I think of giving any of it away.”

Commenting on his patient’s money-sickness, Dr. Menninger said, “Generous people are rarely mentally ill!”

In the light of this comment, it’s interesting to note that, “According to a recent report, charitable giving in America has increased less than one percent over the past few years. During the same time span, however, debt payments have risen 550 percent, while our entertainment spending is up 123 percent. Not surprisingly, the average consumer in this country spends $1.05 to $1.10 for every dollar of income. The figures are startling, even for a society where millions of people live in various degrees of financial debt.”

Giving is an attitude. It is a way of life. Some people are givers—others takers—and some are keepers. Whether we give of our money, time, talents, or love, as Jesus reminds us, “Give and it will be given to you.” And I think I could safely say, “Take and the most valuable things of life will be taken from you.”

Suggested prayer, “Dear God, please help me to be a giver, first to you and then to others—and never just a taker or a keeper. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 6:38.

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Little Things

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“Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”1

A four-hundred-year-old tree crashed to the forest floor. Over the centuries it had been struck by lightning fourteen times, braved great windstorms, and even defied an earthquake. In the end, however, it was killed by little beetles. Boring under the bark, they chewed away its mighty fibers until the giant of the forest lay broken on the ground.2

Little things can either make us or break us. A little lie, a little theft, a little laziness, a little neglect, a little drink a little too often, a little sarcasm, a little denial here and a little there … bit by bit we can add them all together and eventually hurt or destroy our relationships, our physical and/or mental health, and our walk with God.

On the other hand, a little smile, a little deed of kindness, a little encouraging word, a little thoughtful gift, a little phone call, a little bit of love given a lot of times every day can add up to a whole lot of sunshine that we can spread wherever we are and go—and in so doing encourage others, enhance our relationships, improve our physical and mental health, and please the heart of God.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to watch the many little things in my life. Help me to clean out all the ‘little’ sins and self-destructive habits that hurt myself and others, and help me to keep on practicing little acts of love and kindness until they become an everyday habit that will show your love to others and gladden your heart. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Song of Solomon 2:15 (NIV).

2. Bill Tucker with Pat Maxwell, “Living a Power-Filled Life.”

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Balanced Living

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“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”1

In other words Jesus developed intellectually, physically, spiritually and emotionally; that is, he grew to become a whole, healthy and well person. God’s goal, I believe, is for you and me to do the same.

The reality is that only to the degree that we are made whole will our lifestyle, attitudes, actions, behaviors, and our relationships be wholesome.

When it comes to relationships—especially romantic relationships—most of us want someone who is healthy and whole to be attracted to us. But unless I am healthy and whole, a healthy and whole person won’t be attracted to me.

Furthermore, in relationships two halves don’t make a whole. Relationships are like multiplication: one-half multiplied by one-half equals one-quarter, while one whole multiplied by one whole equals one whole.

Only whole people find wholesome relationships, and only happy people make happy relationships.

Wholeness is available to all who want it. But as we noted yesterday, only those who truly want to be made whole—and are willing to pay the price—will be. The choice is up to each one of us. Jesus’ invitation is open to all.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, with your help I choose to be made whole. Please show me what is my responsibility—what I need to see, hear, and do—and please give me the courage to do it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 2:52 (NIV).

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Wants vs. Wishes

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“Do you want to be made well?”1

One medical doctor I read about claims that, of all the patients who come to him saying they need help, approximately 25 percent don’t want to get well at all. Others just want sympathy. Some don’t even want to live. About 50 percent want the doctor to fix them. They would rather he operate on their body, than they operate on their lifestyle. Only 20 to 25 percent accept responsibility for their own recovery and well-being.

A large Christian counseling organization did a mini-survey with their counselors. They came up with the same percentages. One quarter of their clients didn’t want to get well. Approximately half expected the counselor to fix them. And only one out of four accepted responsibility for their recovery. The reality is that a counselor can’t fix anybody. They can only help a person see what the cause of their difficulty is and guide them to work through and resolve it.

When it comes to being overweight, for example, many of us say we want to weigh less than we do. However, most of us don’t eat anything we don’t want to eat. Thus we get confused between a wish and a want. Unless we have a biological problem, many of us wish we weighed less but don’t want to badly enough to do what it takes to lose weight.

Only when we truly want to overcome our problems and be made whole—and accept responsibility to do what we need to do to make it happen—will we. As Jesus asked, “Do you want to be made whole?”

Suggested Prayer; “Dear God, please give me the want and the will to be made whole, and with your help do what I need to do to in order to be made whole. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 5:6.

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Keep Your “Anger Tank” Empty

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“If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly; for when you are angry you give a mighty foothold to the devil.”1

According to a report in the John Hopkins Family Health report, “If you have a tendency to anger easily, you may be at increased risk for a heart attack or stroke—especially if you have heart disease or significant heart disease risk factors. Other tip-offs that anger may be undermining your health include being stubborn, impatient, or hotheaded, and habitually feeling like you want to hit someone or something.”

Anger, too, is a great destroyer of relationships. It’s no wonder that the Bible teaches us to resolve it quickly—the same day whenever possible. Being angry is not a sin. It’s what we do with it that counts. The Bible also teaches, “Be angry, sin not.”2 One way to do this when we are feeling angry is to “speak the truth in love,” and not lash out and hurt the person with whom we are angry.

Some well-meaning people want to blame the devil or a “demon of anger.” Not so with me. My anger is my problem. But when I fail to resolve it (or any other pent-up negative emotion) I give a “foothold to the devil.” When I resolve my anger, the devil loses his foothold.

People who have a super-sensitive anger button usually have unresolved anger from the past with an “anger tank” that is filled to overflowing. The slightest offense can trigger an outburst of hurtful anger. They’ve been nursing grudges for a long time. This is what the Bible teaches us not to do. That is, “don’t sin by nursing your grudge.” Where this is an ongoing anger problem, very often qualified counseling is needed to help resolve it.

Unresolved anger is unhealthy physically, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. This is why the Bible teaches, “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Resolve and get over it quickly.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be honest about my anger, recognize and admit when I am overreacting and, if it is a serious problem, lead me to find the help I need to resolve it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: For the helpful article, “Taming Your Anger,” showing how to resolve anger click on: http://tinyurl.com/hkmjo.

1. Ephesians 4:26 (TLB)(NLT).

2. Ephesians 4:26 (KJV).

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The Blame Game

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“But he, willing to justify himself….”1

I have taught in workshops in the area of divorce recovery for a number of years. In my experience a large percentage of the divorced people I’ve worked with primarily blame their partner for the breakup of their marriage.

It seems that many of us, like the lawyer in today’s scripture, are willing to justify ourselves. While there are always exceptions, it is rare that any one person is totally responsible for the failure of a marriage—or for a relational conflict. There are rarely any totally innocent parties. We all contribute something in some way.

For example, Tom complained bitterly how cold and distant Mary, his wife, was and that she was afraid to love. She may have been, but what Tom doesn’t realize is that he was attracted to Mary because he, too, is afraid to love. He had been hurt in childhood and hadn’t resolved his issues.

Shirley was attracted to Bob, an alcoholic, because she was a super co-dependent and needed someone to take care of in order for her to feel loved. It wasn’t surprising to learn that her father was also an alcoholic. As the old saying goes, “Better the devil you know than the one you don’t know.”

It may not be easy to accept but the fact is that we can tell a lot about ourselves by the people we are attracted to. This is especially true in romantic relationships.

I grew up taking care of my mother, my younger sisters, and the family home. So what kind of persons do you think I was attracted to? You’re right. They were people who needed to be taken care of. I could see the “holes in their head” but couldn’t see the meshing “bumps on my head.”

I had a lot of growing to do … still do … but as I have grown, I have been attracted or drawn to much healthier friends.

Only as we stop justifying ourselves and take a long, honest look at ourselves and resolve OUR problems, do we ever have any hope of wholesome relationships.

Suggested Prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be honest with myself, others, and with you. Help me to see my character flaws that may be adversely affecting my relationships. Help me to stop justifying myself and lead me to the help I need to overcome my faults. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 10:29

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Encouragement

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“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”1

Even if you are aware of why geese fly in “>” formation, it is a good reminder for us humans. As each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the bird immediately following. By doing this, the whole flock adds at least 71 percent greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

When a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone—and quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the bird in front.

When the head goose gets tired, it rotates back and another goose flies point. Also, the following geese honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep on keeping on and to keep up their speed.

Also, when a goose gets sick or is wounded by gunshot, and falls out of formation, two other geese fall out with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it is able to fly or until it dies, and only then do they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their group.

We would do well to follow the example of the geese.

Suggested Prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be a good team member to lead when it is my turn, and to be a good follower and encourager when another is taking the lead. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Hebrews 10:25 (NIV).

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When Success Leads to Failure

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“Then he [Jesus] said to them, ‘Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.’”1

“Saul DeVries was a billionaire who made his fortune during the great depression. Born of immigrant parents, he grew up in poverty. But as a young adult he had an idea, a vision of how he might become a rich man. Realizing that in the depression years, people were unable to buy new appliances or to remodel their kitchen and bathrooms, DeVries decided what was needed was a single product that would clean appliances and keep things sparkling. So, he invented an all-purpose cleaner, the 1st of its kind, called Spic and Span®. It sold well throughout the depression years and continues to do so today. Saul DeVries made billions from his vision and literally cleaned up!”2

I also read that, when he died, in accordance with his will his body was cremated and the ashes were poured down his kitchen sink. Although Saul DeVries was a billionaire, because he didn’t know Jesus Christ as his Savior, his life went down the drain, as it were. He is said to have died a miserable man.

There is nothing wrong with becoming a billionaire as long as money is not the controlling factor in one’s life, and providing one’s money is put to constructive service. As God’s Word, the Bible, reminds us, “What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”3

A sobering thought indeed? The same principle applies not only to the rich and famous but also to so many athletes, movie stars, some political leaders, etc., who have reached the pinnacle of success in this life, but have never committed their life to Jesus Christ and received God’s forgiveness for all their sins and God’s gift of eternal life.

Suggested prayer: Dear God, please help me to keep my priorities straight and in harmony with your purpose for my life, and help me to invest my life in a worthwhile cause that will bring glory to you. And please help me to be absolutely certain that my sins are forgiven and that I will spend eternity in Heaven with you forever.* Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

*For help be sure to read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

1. Luke 12:15 (NIV).

2. http://tinyurl.com/bmxll2a.

3. Mark 8:36 (KJV).

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Are You Jesus?

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“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”1

Some time ago I read how “a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago. They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night’s dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly missed boarding.

“All but one…. He paused, took a deep breath, and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned.

“He told his buddies to go on without him, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.

“He was glad he did.

“The 16-year-old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, and helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her, no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.

“The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.

“When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, “Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?” She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, “I hope we didn’t spoil your day too badly.”

“As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, ‘Mister….’ He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, ‘Are you Jesus?’

“He stopped in mid-stride, and he wondered. Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning in his soul: ‘Are you Jesus?’”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I am available, please use me to be ‘as Jesus’ in some way today to every life I touch, and grant that they, seeing Jesus in me, will want you for themselves. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: If you have never committed your life to Jesus Christ and would like to do that, be sure to read the article, How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

1. The Apostle Paul (2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV).

2. Author unknown.

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Whatever Bothers Me…

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“But he, willing to justify himself….”1

Years ago when I was taking a course in counselor training, the lecturer made the comment, “Whatever bothers you is your problem.”

His statement was a rude awakening for me. Actually, my biggest problem was that I was in denial about “my” biggest problem—me! I thought my issue at the time was what somebody else had done to me. I, too, was all too willing to justify myself.

I was feeling very hurt but discovered that beneath my hurt was a whole lot of pent-up hurt and anger from past unresolved experiences. I was also in denial about why I was attracted to the person whom I was accusing of hurting me.

What another person does to me may or may not be a problem. How I react is always my responsibility, and to the degree that I overreact that is always my problem.

I need to realize that nobody can hurt my feelings or make me angry without my permission, which, of course, doesn’t justify what hurtful things others do to me or what I do to them. If, for example, I am a super-sensitive person because of past hurts, I will usually overreact to people and blame them for hurting my feelings. While the real reason I am SO hurt is because I haven’t resolved my hurt from the past.

To overcome relational conflicts both parties need to admit what they are contributing to the issue at hand and see when they are overreacting—and know why! When we overreact, as long as we deny it and justify ourselves, and play the blame game, we will B-LAME—and never resolve the conflict at hand.

Suggested Prayer: “Dear God, please deliver me from the sin of denial and confront me with the reality of what I am contributing to every conflict in which I find myself—whether it is at work, home, or with a friend or loved one. Help me to take full responsibility for my feelings, actions, and overreactions—and stop justifying myself when I am overreacting. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 10:29.

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