A boy came home from school one day with a note from his teacher saying she had to punish him for swearing. His father took him aside and said, “Well, son, what about it?”

The boy replied, “I have nothing to say, Dad. I deserved it. She heard me say what I said and called me into her office.”

“Then what happened?”

“Well, she asked me where I had heard such language. But I didn’t give you away, Dad. I blamed it on the parrot.”

Need I say more except to say that the heart of all effective teaching is “show me don’t tell me.” That is, we need to model what we want our children to learn, to become, and to do!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to model for my children and others the kind of person you want me to be so that others seeing what you have done in my life will want the same for themselves. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Philippians 1:27.

In his book, The Broken Heart, James Lynch says, “Most of the people I deal with have at the root of their physical problems the problem of loneliness. They may well be living with someone, or indeed in a busy, bustling family atmosphere but they do not know what it is to experience a close relationship. The lonely are twice as likely to suffer physical problems as those who enjoy a warm relationship with at least one other person.”

Dr. Bernard Steinzor in his book, The Healing Partnership, says, “The person who feels completely alone and has lost hope of a relationship will become a patient in the wards of a mental hospital or bring their life to an end through suicide.”

Sydney Jourard in his book, The Transparent Self, said, “Every maladjusted person is someone who has not made himself known to another human being and in consequence he does not know himself. Nor can he be himself. More than that, he struggles actively to avoid becoming known by another human being. He works ceaselessly at it day and night. And it is work!”

Selwyn Hughes wrote, “We come to know ourselves only as we know how to relate effectively to others. A person who is known in a loving, trusting relationship by at least one other human being, is rich indeed and will have little fear about facing the world.”

Hughes also wrote, “We all need to be close to someone, so never apologize for the longing that you find within you for a relationship. It was built into you by the Creator and is therefore part of a divine design.” I certainly agree with Hughes in that “only in the context of relationships can the deepest longings of our being be met and satisfied.”

The reality is that we not only need a right relationship with God but healthy relationships with one another. This is why open, trusting, accepting and non-judgmental groups are such a powerful entity at a time when much of life has become technical and impersonal.

Rowland Croucher, writing in Grid, said, “More than 85 percent of small group participants of all ages say that as a result of their participation they feel better about themselves, are more open and honest with themselves, are better able to forgive others, and have been helped to serve people outside the groups.”

We can live successfully without having to be in a romantic relationship, but we cannot live a worthwhile life nor can we grow outside of meaningful relationships. As the Bible teaches, “It is not good to be alone.” If you can’t find a small group in your church, may I suggest that you start one yourself. An effective group, however, is where people are open and honest, share their struggles and sorrows as well as their joys—and where members listen, love and accept without any kind of judgment, sermonizing, giving advice—or trying to fix people.

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”¹

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to find a safe group where I can be truly connected to caring and loving friends. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Genesis 2:18 (NIV).

“And it’s still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out into the world, it’s best to hold hands and stick together.”

I had a dear friend whom I met in kindergarten. We went through school and technical college together. We’d been through national service together, and, though for many years we lived thousands of miles apart, we never lost contact. Not so long ago my friend fell on hard times, became discouraged and depressed and, instead of reaching out for help, withdrew into himself and took his life. A tragic waste. How sad it is when, in our hour of need, as adults, we forget to hold hands.

We all have areas of weaknesses so we all need the support of a few friends with whom we feel safe, who won’t judge, condemn or reject us, and will love and accept us as we are. None of us can make it on our own. We were created for relationships. We all need each other. Even Jesus, at the start of his ministry on earth, chose “the twelve” disciples that they might be with him. How much more do we need friends who will be with us?

One reason we fall is because we try to make it on our own. God never meant for us to go it alone. We all need each other for support, and as long as we admit our needs, confess our areas of weaknesses, and keep holding hands, we’re not likely to fall because we help hold each other up.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”¹

Suggested prayer” “Dear God, please give me a few friends who know me as I am and love me still—friends with whom I can share openly and honestly, laugh, cry, work, play and serve you, and friends who will hold me up when I feel too down to be able to stand up on my own. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV).

In another study, Edward A. Rauff, director of the Research and Information Center of the Lutheran Council in the U.S.A., found that the dominant reason a high percentage of the respondents gave for establishing a relationship with a church was “to keep the family together and to strengthen family life.”

That the church helps strengthen family life is supported by a study conducted by sociologist Steven Nock of the University of Virginia. His conclusions showed that couples who attend church regularly are 42 percent more likely to be married for the first time [that is, in their first marriage], and those in the church who were committed to its beliefs had a 23 percent better chance of having a “very happy” marriage than those who don’t go to church.

In another study reported in Homemade, Warren Mueller reports that “in families where the father and mother both attend church regularly, 72 percent of their children remain faithful. If only dad goes, 55 percent remain faithful. If mom goes alone, fifteen percent of their children remain faithful.

“Conclusion? The example of parents is extremely important … and children look to dad as leader.”

The Bible says, “Let us not neglect our church meetings, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his [Christ's] coming back again is drawing near.”¹

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, as a father, please help me model for my children and/or grandchildren the man/woman of God you want me to be, and help me always to be ‘as Jesus’ to them. And grant that they, seeing Jesus in me, will want Jesus to be in their life as well. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Hebrews 10:25 (TLB)(NLT).