Monthly Archives: November 2012

A Friend of Sinners

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“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”1

Of the two kinds of sinners in Jesus’ day, whom did he prefer to mix with? The honest ones—that is, those who admitted their sins, weaknesses, and failures.

As long as I deny my own reality (sins, weakness, failures, and my dark side), I cannot truly relate to other people. This is because I am hiding my real self and pretending to be someone that I am not. As Richard C. Halverson, former chaplain of the U.S. Senate, wrote in one of his weekly letters some time ago:

“Only sinners can relate. Sinners enjoy authentic fellowship. Saints don’t! People who pose as saints aren’t free to remove their masks. Under pressure to project conventional piety, they are unable to open up and share themselves.

“Upholding the traditional religious image, they remain invulnerable in human relationships because they dare not expose their real selves. They major in propositions rather than persons … share their victories but never their failures. Meeting head to head instead of heart to heart, protecting themselves against discovery, they ricochet against each other like marbles.

“The authentic saint is oblivious to his sainthood, deeply aware of his unworthiness, sensitive to his failure, confesses he is a sinner, which makes possible true fellowship. Sinners acknowledge their inadequacy, lean heavily on God’s grace, and identify quickly with need in others.

“Recognizing all men are sinners, unwilling to hide from the truth, they share their weaknesses, confess their sin to one another, and do not fear vulnerability. They come together like grapes, crushed and fragrant, dependent upon each other, and God.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be real—to see and acknowledge all my sins, weaknesses, failures, character flaws, and broken parts so I can bring them all to you for your healing and forgiveness. Please me merciful to me a sinner. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus in Mark 2:17.

Note: If you have never confessed your sinfulness to God and asked for his forgiveness, I encourage you to do that today. For further help please read the article, “Forgiveness: The Power That Heals” at: http://tinyurl.com/3bw3q3, and/or “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

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To Quit or Not to Quit

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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.”1

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,

And the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,

When funds are low and debts are high,

And you have to smile, but you want to cry,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if your must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won had he stuck it out.

So don’t give up though the pace seems slow,

For you may succeed with another blow,

Success is failure turned inside out,

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far,

So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,

It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

– Edgar A. Guest

To quit or not to quit? When things go wrong that is sometimes an extremely difficult decision at which to arrive. There are times when we may need to change our direction, our job, our location, or quit a destructive or “just-plain-not-going-anywhere” situation. The important thing is not to quit too soon. However, it’s equally important not to hang in too long and keep “whipping a dead horse!”

But how do we know when to hang in or when to quit? In this kind of situation, after I’ve done everything I can to redeem the bad situation without success, sometimes I still don’t know. It is then (having already committed the situation to God, and having sought his direction) that I trust God that the decision I make will be in harmony with his will for me.

Furthermore, at times like these I always ask God to give me the insight to see the truth and reality of the situation in question. Once I see reality, I know what I need to do. Then I pray for the courage to do it!

God hasn’t promised to make our decisions for us or tell us what to do. What he has promised—providing we want and ask for it—is wisdom, guidance, direction, and understanding, and to be with us as long as we are genuinely seeking to walk in his ways.

However, when it comes to growing in “faith, and love and every grace” it is required that we never quit!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me with my decision regarding (name the situation). Help me to see the reality of the total situation so that I will know what is the best thing for me to do. Whatever that is, please give me the courage to do it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV).

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I Doubt God Exists

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“The Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel [meaning God with us].”1

“Sometimes I doubt God ever exists,” one person needing help wrote to me.

One of the many proofs we have of the existence of God is the fulfillment of biblical prophecies in minutest detail. Regarding Jesus Christ alone there are many predictions in the Bible about his coming as the Messiah and Savior of the world. One of which was given about him being born of a virgin hundreds of years before it took place.2 Another said he would be born in Bethlehem.3 Still another showed he would die for our sins.4

In his book, Evidence that Demands a Verdict, Josh McDowell quotes Peter Stoner who, using the modern science of probability, shows that if one took only eight of the prophecies about Christ, there would only be one chance in 10 to the 16th; that is, one chance in 100,000,000,000,000,000 that these eight prophecies could be fulfilled in any one person—unless the prophecies were inspired of God. In 48 prophecies about Jesus Christ there would only be one chance in 10 to the 175th that these could be fulfilled in any one person.5

However, all the evidence in the world won’t convince anybody of the existence of God unless he/she wants and chooses to believe. As another has said, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” The bottom line is that belief in God is a choice—often a moral rather than an intellectual choice. If I believe in God, I realize that I am morally responsible and accountable to him. If I don’t believe in God, I’m not (at least I don’t believe I am) accountable to him, and make myself my only authority. In light of all the evidence of God’s existence this can be a rather ostentatious stance to take.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, even when the sun isn’t shining, I know there is a sun. So when I can’t feel your presence, and am going through a ‘dark night of the soul,’ help me to believe and trust in you, knowing that my life is in your hands regardless of how I feel. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Isaiah 7:14 (NIV).

2. Isaiah 7:14.

3. Micah 5:2.

4. Isaiah 53.

5. Josh McDowell, Evidence that Demands a Verdict, p. 175.

Note: For further help read the following articles:

“Where Is God?” at: http://tinyurl.com/where-god and “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

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The Impact of God’s Word

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“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”1

Abraham Lincoln said, “I recognize the sublime truth announced in the Holy Scriptures [the Bible] and proven by all history, that those nations only are blest whose God is the Lord.”

John Marshall, a former chief justice of the Supreme Court, said of George Washington, “He was a sincere believer in the Christian faith, a truly devout man.”

When Washington was close to death, he asked those with him to leave the room so he could spend time alone with God. Later when his secretary, Tobias Lear, returned, Washington said, “‘Tis well.” He then closed his eyes and prayed, “Father of mercies, take me to Thyself.” That was his last prayer.

And former president John Quincy Adams is reported to have said, “I have for many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once a year. My custom is to read four or five chapters every morning immediately after rising from my bed. It employs about an hour of my time, and seems to me the most suitable manner for beginning the day. In what light soever we regard the Bible, whether with reference to revelation, to history, or to mortality, it is an invaluable and inexhaustible mine of knowledge and Virtue.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, again this day I commit and trust my life and way to you and that of (name your loved ones). Thank you for the powerful impact of your Word, the Bible. Please give me a greater love to read and study your Word, trust in its guidance, and live by its principles today and every day. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Psalm 119:105 (NIV).

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In Whom Is Our Trust?

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“Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the great strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the Lord”1

Some years back, Professor John Passmore in speaking about Australia’s capital city, Canberra, said it was one of the most highly planned and well laid out and ordered cities in the world. (It was designed by American Walter Burleigh Griffin.) It was an attempt to build “an ideal urban environment for the future.”

However, in spite of all the best-laid plans of men, Canberra has had [at least in the past] one of the highest suicide rates in the country, the highest unemployment rate, and the highest rate of marriage breakdown.

In our contemporary Western society we have sharpened the mind, strived for technological and scientific excellence, built the greatest means of transport and communication systems in the history of the world. But like ancient Egypt, we have put our trust in our own strength and that of the things we have developed, and have ignored the spirit and not relied on God.

Unless we turn back to God as a nation, we will inevitably go the same way as ancient Egypt and other civilizations who forgot God went.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help us as a nation to remember that ‘eternal vigilance is still the price of freedom’ and ‘blessed is that nation whose God is the Lord.’ Please help me to so live. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Isaiah 31:1 (NIV).

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Letting Go

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“Forgetting those things which are behind … I press on toward the goal.”1

The story is told of two monks who had gone on a day’s journey. During the day the weather had become very inclement. On the way home that evening they had to cross a flooded fjord where a woman who needed help to get to the other side was waiting. Seeing her dilemma, one of the monks picked her up and carried her across to the other side.

Later that evening the monk who didn’t help the woman condemned the one who did saying, “You were wrong this afternoon helping that lady. You know that in our order we are to have no dealings with the opposite s-e-x.”

To which the other monk replied, “I carried her only across the stream. You are carrying her still.”

When we carry hurts, grudges, resentments, guilt, grief or any unresolved issues from the past and fail to let go of them, we contaminate our present relationships. As Cecil Osborne used to say, “Every unshed tear [and unresolved negative emotion] is a prism through which all of life’s hurts are distorted.”

True, we are to forget the past but we can’t until we resolve it. Repressing hurts isn’t forgetting them. All it does is bury them where they will take root, gather interest and come out in other damaging ways at a later time—either emotionally, relationally, physically, and/or spiritually.

We need to get all of these pains off our chest, express them in creative ways, forgive whoever has hurt us, and then let go of them. Only then can we truly forget those negative things which are behind, and get on with our life free of these encumbrances.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to resolve any and all unresolved issues from the past and let go of any hurt, anger, grief, fears, and resentment so I won’t take these things out on others, and so I will be free to fully live and fully love. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Philippians 3:13 (NIV).

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Thanksgiving

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“Pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”1

Today in the U.S.A. it is Thanksgiving Day, first celebrated “in 1621 to commemorate the harvest reaped by the Plymouth Colony after a harsh winter. In that year Governor William Bradford proclaimed a day of thanksgiving. The colonists celebrated it as a traditional English harvest feast, to which they invited the local Wampanoag Indians.”2

While it’s fun to get together with family and friends on this special day, every day needs to be a thanksgiving day for the Christian—and especially for those of us who live in the free world. And may we always be thankful to God for his eternal love shown to each and every one of us in giving his Son, Jesus Christ, to die in our place to pay the just penalty for all our sins.

A Thanksgiving Prayer

Dear Lord,
Please give me…
A few friends who know me
and love me still,
A thankful heart to give you praise
always and in everything,
A trusting mind to keep on believing in
you no matter what the future brings,
A humble, pleasing personality,
A teachable disposition,
A thoughtful, kind, and caring touch,
A forgiving and understanding spirit,
A loving and accepting attitude to communicate
your love to every life I touch,
A worthwhile work into which I can put my
best efforts and thereby help make my
world a better place in which to live, and
A life that will make a difference not only
in my world, but also in my street and,
most of all, in my home.3

– Dick Innes

1. 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18 (NIV).

2. Infoplease: http://tinyurl.com/995tm

3. See this poem beautifully presented at https://learning.actsweb.org/prayer_thanksgiving.php.

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How Can I Stop My Son?

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“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”1

“My son was divorced last year,” a distraught mother wrote, “after a very unhappy marriage where he was abused. He is now dating a much younger woman who, besides other serious problems, is into smoking pot, uses vulgar vocabulary, is hot tempered, and very impatient with her child. My son wants to marry this woman. It would be a disaster. What can I do to stop him?”

“Dear, Janine (name changed). Sadly, there isn’t very much you can do to stop your son marrying this woman if his mind is made up to marry her. The only people we can ever help are those who admit or say, ‘I have a problem. I need help.’

“I know it is difficult not to be judgmental, but it is important to realize that if you feel outwardly negative and angry towards this woman and try to stop your son from marrying her, chances are you will drive them closer together and you and them farther apart—and they will become united in their opposition to you. Your goal needs to be to love your son and this woman, while letting them know in a loving way that you don’t approve of her lifestyle or their relationship.

“What your son doesn’t realize (and this is always difficult for each of us to accept) is that all of us are as sick (or as healthy) as the people we are attracted to. So whatever his friend’s problem is, he has a ‘meshing’ problem. Obviously I don’t know your son, but my best guess is that he is super-codependent and is not aware that he is. If this is true, he would not realize that codependency is not love, but unhealthy need. Many people who think they are ‘in love’ are more ‘in need’ than they are in love. It’s a surefire way to disaster. You might consider purchasing a good book on co-dependency and tactfully ask your son if he would care to read it—but only after you read it first.

“In his first marriage your son may have been the abused one but he, in turn, was an ‘abusee’ in that he allowed himself to be abused. This is another sign of codependency. He may not admit it, but he urgently needs to get into counseling or he is heading for another disastrous marriage. Tactfully suggest that you think it would be wise for him to do this. This is because those negative issues we fail to resolve, we are destined to repeat.

“If you can assure him of your love no matter what, and ask him if he will also consider praying about this relationship, perhaps he may do so. Ask him to pray for truth—that God will first of all reveal to him the truth about what he may have contributed to the failure of his first marriage, the truth about the relationships he is currently in, and the truth about his friend. If he genuinely wants to know the truth, God will reveal it to him and, once he sees the truth, he will know what he needs to do.

“However, before you ask your son to pray about seeing the truth about himself, be sure to ask God to reveal to you the truth about yourself. If we want others to ask God to do this, we need to model it first for ourselves.

“Most importantly, ask God to help you to be ‘as Jesus’ to your son, and to his lady friend, and that they, seeing Jesus in you, will want the same for themselves.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, whenever I am in a situation similar to what Janine is in, please help me to love the persons involved, and give me the wisdom to know what to say, the grace to say it in love, and the courage to say it tactfully. And help me to be ‘as Jesus’ to all involved. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Timothy 4:12 (NIV).

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When In Is the Way Out

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“So the king gave the order, and they brought Daniel and threw him into the lion’s den. The king said to Daniel, ‘May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!’”1

Most of us will be familiar with the story of how Daniel, supposedly because of his religious beliefs, was thrown into a den of hungry lions. No question, Daniel got a dirty deal. He was set up by jealous lesser men who wanted him out of the way. It seemed as if they were about to succeed except for one thing: They overlooked Daniel’s trust in God.

The interesting thing, however, about Daniel being thrown into the den of lions is that God didn’t deliver him out of the den before Daniel first found deliverance in it.

Imagine if Daniel had fought against being thrown into the den (which he would have been justified in doing), and gone into the den fighting against it every inch of the way. Chances are that the lions would have torn him to pieces before he hit the floor of the den. But Daniel didn’t struggle. He accepted his lot, and trusted his life to God who shut the lion’s mouths.

On more than one occasion when in a very frustrating situation, I have asked God that if I am not going to be delivered out of my “lion’s den,” would he please help me find deliverance in it.

Sometimes God has a lesson for us to learn through a difficult situation, and before he delivers us out of it, like Daniel, he delivers us in it. It is also important not to base our beliefs and actions on the way we feel. Keep in mind that it is the Word of God, the Bible, which is our final voice of authority—not the way that we feel. We need to find deliverance in it. The good news is that once we learn the needed lesson, we don’t have to go through the same experience again.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, regardless of my feelings and my circumstances, I choose to trust my life to you in the frustrating situation in which I find myself at this time. And like the father whose child had a dumb spirit said to you, I also say, ‘Lord I believe, help thou my unbelief.’ Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Daniel 6:16 (NIV).

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Yes, Sometimes I Am

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“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”1

“You are nothing but a pharisaical religious b______,” Jennifer (not her real name) angrily condemned me in front of a seminar group of about 100 people. Admittedly, I was shocked—to put it mildly—and took a moment to regain composure, and simply answered by saying, “Yes, sometimes I am.”

Had I become defensive and sought to justify myself, I’m sure I would have built a wall between myself and Jennifer, and most likely there never would have been any further meaningful communication between us.

This happened following a session discussing the subject of homos-e-x-uality. Jennifer, I learned later, was gay so her hostility towards me was understandable.

A few weeks later, for those who wanted to deal with personal issues we had a live-in in-depth week-long recovery workshop. What amazed me was that Jennifer attended even though she and I disagreed regarding homos-e-x-uality. At the beginning of the week she kept me at arm’s length. However, I assured her that even though I disagreed with her lifestyle, I loved and accepted her.

There were about 30 of us at the retreat, and not one person judged or criticized Jennifer in any way all week. We all loved and accepted her. This was somewhat overpowering for her as she was so used to being condemned, especially by Christians. What shocked me even more was that at the end of the week, she came to me, hugged me warmly and said, “Perhaps you are right after all.”

I am convinced that—at least for many—it is a lack of unconditional love that drives people into self-destructive acts of sin in their desperate search for love and acceptance—and only love—God’s unconditional love through you and me will ever take them out again.

True Christianity is much more than a creed (as important as the creed is)—it is experiencing divine love, divine forgiveness, and divine acceptance—and communicating these to every life we touch.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to understand every person you bring into my life, and communicate your divine love, forgiveness, and acceptance to them at their point of deepest need. In so doing, may they find your love, forgiveness and acceptance for themselves. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 6:37 (NIV).

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