Monthly Archives: April 2012

Challenging Fear

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“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The man who fears is not made perfect in love.”1

Most of us struggle with fear of one sort or another at one time or another—some mild, some serious, some healthy, some unhealthy and self-defeating.

Healthy fear is a self-protective mechanism. We rightly fear (or should) driving through a red light, or doing anything that could hurt us or others. Unhealthy fear is that which is caused by someone who hurt us deeply, and especially when we bury and deny it. This fear can become a floating anxiety and cause us to be fearful of everyday living, separate us from close relationships and cause loneliness, give us ulcers or other physical ills, or cause us to hide it and “protect” ourselves with anger.

Fears that are relatively harmless can often be overcome by doing the thing we fear and thereby reconditioning our response to the particular thing we fear.

Unhealthy or self-defeating fears need to be dealt with at their root cause. For example, a person who was abused or abandoned as a child may be fearful of being treated the same way as an adult. And, for some strange reason, unless he faces and resolves this fear, he will tend to either withdraw from close relationships or be attracted to people who will repeat the abuse or abandonment he experienced in the past. Sadly, the things we fail to resolve we are destined to repeat.

As today’s Scripture points out, “The man [person] who fears is not made perfect in love.” Thus, to be made perfect in love means we need to resolve any unhealthy fears. To do this these fears need to be recognized and if repressed, they need to be brought into the conscious mind so they can be confronted and resolved.

Look at the symptoms in your life. Do you avoid close relationships? Is your life filled with anxiety? Are you an angry person? Do you have any impaired close relationships? Is your marriage a wreck? If any of these apply to you, chances are you may have unresolved fear. So when you pray, admit these and any other symptoms to God and ask him to give you the courage to see the root cause of these—and to lead you to the help you need to overcome these. If the fears are buried, you may need qualified professional counseling help to overcome these. Speaking personally, buried fear was a major problem in my life until I realized that unless I got into therapy to resolve my fear, I would be running from love for the rest of my life.

As we resolve unhealthy fears, we open ourselves to love, and the more we are filled with God’s love, the less fearful we will be because perfect love drives out fear.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to face the root cause of any or all fear/s I may have and lead me to the help I need to overcome them so I can be freed to know and experience your love, which is the ultimate protection against fear. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 John 4:18 (NIV).

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Cognitive Dissonance

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“And Pharaoh hardened his heart … and Pharaoh hardened his heart … and Pharaoh hardened his heart … and the Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart.”1

Most readers will be familiar with Moses confronting Pharaoh when he was attempting to lead the ancient Israeli slaves out of bondage in Egypt. Pharaoh kept opposing, opposing, and opposing the will of God. In the process he kept hardening his heart until after repeated opportunities he still refused to do what was right, God gave up on him.

So who really hardened Pharaoh’s heart, God or Pharaoh himself?

And what’s this got to do with cognitive dissonance? Everything. Cognitive dissonance is a fancy term for mental disharmony or a lack of peace of mind. For example, if we consistently fail to do what we know is right, and/or keep doing what we know is wrong, we will lose peace of mind and experience cognitive dissonance. Because we can’t stand living this way, instead of correcting our behavior, we repress and deny our feelings, rationalize our behavior, justify our actions, start believing our own lies—and end up with a hardened heart and dead conscience—a dangerous course to follow. Ultimately we self-destruct.

All of God’s laws are universal. Take his moral law for example. We can no more break it than we can break the law of gravity. Try to break either one of these and we end up breaking ourselves against them. How foolish to think we can break God’s laws and not suffer the natural consequences. All we do is harden our heart and deaden our conscience. And unless we repent of our sinful ways and turn back to God, we end up in a lost eternity forever. God’s ways are for our protection and eternal salvation. We neglect them at our own peril.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me always to listen to and heed the warnings you have built into my mind when I am tempted to stray from the truth and what is right … so that I will never deaden my conscience and end up with a hardened heart. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. See Exodus 8:15; 8:32; 9:34; and 10:20.

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Authentic Saints

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“If we claim to be sinless, we are self-deceived and strangers to the truth. If we confess our sins, he is just, and may be trusted to forgive our sins and cleanse us from every kind of wrong.”1

Richard Halverson, former chaplain of the US Senate shared the following message in one of his monthly report letters some time ago:

“Sinners enjoy authentic fellowship. Saints don’t.

“People who pose as saints aren’t free to remove their masks. Under pressure to project conventional piety, they are unable to open up and share themselves.

“Upholding the traditional religious image, they remain invulnerable in human relationships because they dare not expose their real selves.

“They major in propositions rather than persons. They share their victories but never their failures. They congratulate one another in their little mutual admiration societies.

“Meeting head to head instead of heart to heart, they protect themselves against discovery, and ricochet against each other like marbles.

“The authentic saint is oblivious to his sainthood, is deeply aware of his unworthiness, sensitive to his failure, and confesses that he is a sinner.

“Which makes possible true fellowship.

“Sinners acknowledge their inadequacy, lean heavily on God’s grace, and identify quickly with need in others.

“Recognizing that all men are sinners and are unwilling to hide from the truth, they share their weaknesses, confess their sins to one another, and do not fear vulnerability.

“They come together like grapes, crushed and fragrant, dependent upon each other and God.”

As the Bible puts it, “God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to be sharing in his life while we walk in the dark, our words and our lives are a lie … But if we walk in the light as he himself is in the light, then we share together a common life, and we are being cleansed from every sin by the blood of Jesus his Son. If we claim to be sinless, we are self-deceived and strangers to the truth. If we confess our sins, he is just, and may be trusted to forgive our sins and cleanse us from every kind of wrong.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be real with myself, with trusted friends and, above all, with you so that I will be an authentic Christian—and always walk in the light. And grant that others seeing Jesus in me will want him for him or herself. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 John 1:9 (NEB)(NIV).

2. 1 John 1:5-9 (NEB)(NIV).

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Don’t Waste Your Pain—Invest It

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See special note of remembrance below re Anzac Day for all Australian and New Zealand subscribers.

“Dear Brothers [and sisters], is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don’t try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete.”1

In almost every trial we face God is seeking to “tell” us something. Sometimes the only time he can get our attention is when we’re hurting sufficiently to slow us down so we will stop and listen.

That has certainly been true in my life. On one occasion, God used an accident and a time in the hospital to get my attention and to speak to me. The decision I made as a result ended up radically changing the total course of my life. Another time God used a major crisis and loss to expand my work. He used another setback to get me started in writing. That was more than four decades ago and I’m still writing!

When you are hurting, you can be sure that God has something to say to you too—something for your good. Ask him to help you hear what it is and to give you the courage to do what he is telling/leading you to do. Whatever it is, you can be certain it will enrich your life in one way or another.

Furthermore, whatever you do, don’t waste your pain. Invest it in your own growth and then in helping another fellow struggler along the way.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see how you want to use all the trials that come my way to help me grow and change my life for the better. And please help me never to waste my pain but to invest it wisely in my own growth and in making me a more effective helper to other fellow strugglers. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 1:2-4 (TLB)(NLT).

SPECIAL NOTE for all Australian and New Zealand subscribers as we join with you in memory of April 25 being Anzac Day. This was originally a day to honor all members of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps (ANZAC), who fought at Gallipoli in Turkey during World War I. It has now broadened to commemorate all Aussies and New Zealanders who died in military service in all wars.

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Life’s Detours

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“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”1

“The year was 1920. The scene was the examining board for selecting missionaries. Standing before the board was a young man named Oswald J. Smith. One dream dominated his heart. He wanted to be a missionary. Over and over again, he prayed, ‘Lord, I want to go as a missionary for you. Open a door of service for me.’ Now, at last, his prayer would be answered.

“When the examination was over, the board turned Oswald Smith down. He did not meet their qualifications. He failed the test. Oswald Smith had set his direction, but now life gave him a detour. What would he do? As Oswald Smith prayed, God planted another idea in his heart. If he could not go as a missionary, he would build a church which could send out missionaries. And that is what he did. Oswald Smith was pastor of The People’s Church in Toronto, Canada, which sent out more missionaries than any other church at that time. Oswald Smith brought God into the situation, and God transformed his detour into a main thoroughfare of service.”2

Years later Oswald J. Smith had a dynamic impact on my own life that changed the course of my life and ministry. Forty years ago when I was the South Australian director of Youth for Christ, I helped organize a week of meetings with Oswald Smith in the city of Adelaide. In one service Smith preached on the power of the printed page. Now I’ve never heard God speak to me audibly, but that night I felt like I was hit with a big “wham” from God. I felt tremendously challenged about getting into literature (even though I never wanted to be a writer) and walked out of that meeting telling God that “some day I would do something about literature but right then I was too busy with my high school ministry!”

What a dumb thing to tell God! Two weeks later my high-school ministry collapsed. For something to do I wrote the gospel message I had been teaching in the classrooms, printed it, and mailed it to several hundred high school student leaders from some 50 high schools in the greater Adelaide area. Nobody was more amazed than I when I received numerous responses. I’ve been writing and publishing gospel literature ever since—for the first three decades in printed form and for the last decade via email and the web.

And what was that first message I wrote, printed, and mailed to those high-school students? It was, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian … without having to be religious.” More than three million copies of this message have been printed and distributed. Multiplied thousands more have read it on the web and responded to it. It has also been translated into several languages. You can see a copy at: https://learning.actsweb.org/christian.

So, when God puts a detour in your path, you will never know what results it may produce. And I am only one person among thousands that were impacted by the ministry of Oswald J. Smith—and multiplied thousands more have been impacted by ACTS literature and our writing ministry.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that when I daily commit and trust my life to you, you do direct my paths and lead me in the way you want me to go. Please continue to do this for all the days of my life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Romans 8:28 (NIV).

2. Brian L. Harbour, Rising Above the Crowd. Cited on http://www.bible.org/

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Fickle or Faithful Friends

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“A friend loves at all times.”1

Babe Ruth was one of the all-time greats of American baseball. For years he had been the idol of sports fans. Time, however, took its toll. I read how, in one of his last games, he began to falter. He struck out and made several misplays that allowed the opposing team to score five runs in one inning. As he walked from the field, he was greeted with an enormous storm of boos and catcalls from the stands. Fans shook their fists.

Then a little boy jumped over the railing and, with tears running down his cheeks ran out to the great athlete. Unashamedly, he flung his arms around his hero’s legs and held on tightly. Babe Ruth picked him up, hugged him, set him down, and together the two of them walked off the field hand in hand.

An unknown poet wrote:

I went out to find a friend,

But could not find one there.

I went out to be a friend,

And friends were everywhere!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be a faithful friend at all times. And thank you that your friendship for me is never based on my performance—good or bad—and that you love me at all times no matter what. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 17:17 (NIV).

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The Impact of the Spoken Word

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“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”1

“Researchers at Kenyon College conducted a test in cooperation with the US Navy. The purpose was to discover how the tone of the voice affected sailors when they were given orders. The experiments revealed that the way a person was addressed determined to a large extent the kind of response he would make. For example, when an individual was spoken to in a soft voice, he would answer in a similar manner. But when he was shouted at, his reply came back in the same sharp tone. This was true whether the communication was given face-to-face, over the intercom, or by telephone.”2

With yellers there is a tendency to yell back at him or her. However, other research has shown that if we answer a yeller softly in a soft tone of voice, he will have to lean forward to hear what we are saying and tend to lower his own volume—proving the truth of what the Bible taught so long ago: “A gentle answer turns away wrath.”

Richard De Haan wisely said, “What we say and how we say it not only makes a difference in the reaction we’ll receive, but it also determines whether conflict or peace will result. Many arguments could be avoided and tense situations relaxed if we understood [and practiced] this truth.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me in all situations to remain calm and peaceful and learn always when I speak, to speak the truth in love. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV).

2. KneEmail Mike Benson, Editor. 4bens@sigecom.net

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How to Honor Parents When You Feel You Can’t?

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“Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.”1

One person asks, “I know that one of the Ten Commandments is to honor one’s father and mother, but how can I do this when they fought like crazy and brought me up in the midst of never-ending conflict where I felt neglected, rejected and trapped?”

In his book, Home Is a Four-Letter Word, R.E. Lybrand talks about several prisoners who were flipping through a merchandise catalog and discussing what they would like to give their mothers as a gift. As they looked at beautiful homes, one wanted to be able to provide such a home for his mother. When looking at a car parked outside one of these homes, another prisoner wished he could purchase a nice car for his mother so she could come and visit him in jail.

Another prisoner just stared blankly at the catalog not saying a word. Upon being asked what he would like to give to his mother, he said in a sorrowful tone, “I wish I could give my mother a more honorable son,” grieving the fact that his dishonorable life had dishonored his mother.2

I think this prisoner got it right. I agree in that one of the best ways we can honor even bad parents is by being grateful for whatever good we received from them (the gift of life for example), by not allowing our past and what they did or failed to do to or for us to control our future, and by living such a life that it will both honor them and God. With God’s help this we can do.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I thank you for the gift of life that came through my parents and for all the good qualities I inherited from them. Help me to see all these qualities, resolve all past hurts caused by them, and forgive them as you have forgiven me for my sins and failures. And help me to so live that my life will honor both them and you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Deuteronomy 5:16 (NIV).

2. R.E. Lybrand, Home is a Four-Letter Word: Preaching Resources to Strengthen Christian Marriages and Families, Inc., CSS Publishing, Lima, Ohio.

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Should Christians Have a Living Will?

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“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”1

“Dear sir,” an ACTS website reader asks, “with so much talk nowadays about advance directives and living wills what does the Bible say? If you have any information on this from God’s point of view, please share it with me.”

First, let me say that I am not replying with legal advice, and if you are interested in having a living will, it is imperative that you contact a lawyer regarding the legal requirements pertaining to your state or country.

Second, as a reminder a living will is: “A legal document directing the extent to which an individual desires to receive artificial life support in the event of a terminal illness or injury. A living will may also name a third party to make medical decisions on one’s behalf.”2

Third, I don’t know of any passage in God’s Word directly relating to living wills. However, today’s Scripture reminds us that if we don’t provide for our loved ones we are worse than non-Christians. While this applies to an active living person, I’m sure the same principle applies should we be in a situation that would require artificial life-support to keep us alive.

Fourth, for those who are aware of the Terri Schiavo case, “the 41-year-old brain-damaged woman who became the centerpiece of a national right-to-die [or right-to-live] battle, died … nearly two weeks after doctors removed the feeding tube that had sustained her for more than a decade”3 one realizes that had Terri written a living will when she was in good health, this debacle would never have happened—plus she would have saved her loved ones from this painful dilemma of having to decide what she wanted.

Whether we have a living will or not is really up to each individual. The important thing to remember is that if we choose to have one, we need to have it legally ratified while we are in a healthy state of mind. It is also important to make sure our regular will is up to date to make sure we protect and take care of loved ones.

However, of far, far greater importance is that we have willed, while living, to settle matters with God, to make our peace with him, to receive his forgiveness for all our sins, and know that we know that our names are written in God’s book of life with the assurance of his gift of eternal life in heaven forever. For help, see “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/christian.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, regarding matters of life and death please give me the wisdom to know whether or not I should have a living will that will protect both myself and my loved ones should I ever be in a situation that would require the same. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Timothy 5:8 (NIV).

2. “Glossary of Terms,” Claremont Graduate University. http://www.cgu.edu/pages/1779.asp

3. CNN.com http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/03/31/schiavo/

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Where Is God When Life Hurts?

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“God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’”1

A Daily Encounter reader asks, “How do I know when God is talking to me? I am so confused and I need so much help. My life is so hard and bad each day. I pray for guidance and wisdom and I don’t know if God hears me, or if he still loves me. I don’t feel that anyone loves me anymore.”

Dear Jane (name changed), actually, God is continually broadcasting his love, power and blessings to all of us. The problem lies with our reception. It’s the cloud layers of our unresolved personal issues that block our feeling God’s love and being aware of his presence. These same issues stop us from feeling loved by others. In other words, it’s negative feelings that get in the way—any one or more of a number of feelings of super-charged, repressed negative emotions such as unresolved hurt, grief, anger, resentment, jealousy, and/or a lack of forgiveness, plus fear of what God might want us to do or not do, or even guilt if we are living a life that we know is out of harmony with God’s will.

First, to overcome, we can know what God is saying by reading and studying his Word, the Bible. All the directions we need for wholesome living are there, we just need to read and study the Bible so we know what God’s Word says, accept it by faith regardless of our feelings, and live in harmony with his directives. Furthermore, as long as our life is committed to God and we have accepted Jesus as our Savior, we have Christ’s promise that he will never—not ever—leave us or forsake us.2 Again, we need to believe this in spite of what we may or may not feel.

Second, God’s Word also says, “The Lord is near to all who call on him; to all who call on him in truth.”3 So if we are going to feel/know/experience God’s presence and “hear” what he is saying to us, it is essential when praying that we are totally honest with ourselves and with God and confess to him exactly what is going on in our life and how we feel. We also need to ask God to keep guiding us on the path to truth so we will see any barrier in our life that may be blocking our experiencing his presence and love.

Keep in mind, too, that Jesus also said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”4 So, as long as there is any area in our life where we don’t feel free, we can be certain that there is some truth (or truths) we are not seeing and confronting. Once you see this truth, you will know what you need to do to put matters right.

Finally, you also said that you don’t feel that anyone loves you anymore. More often than not, it’s the negative feelings mentioned above, most of which are caused by impaired significant relationships (anywhere from yesteryear to early childhood), that stop our feeling loved by both God and people. When we resolve these negative emotions, confess our sins to God and to at least one safe friend or counselor,5 forgive any and all who have ever hurt us, and resolve any and all significant impaired relationships, we not only feel loved by people again but also by God. When we have unresolved impaired relationships and negative emotions (which may be repressed from conscious memory), most of us need a well-trained and capable counselor to help guide us through this healing process.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the instructions for creative living you have given in your Word, the Bible. Please give me a love for studying your Word, the help I need to understand it, and the courage to live by the directives as found therein. And lead me to the help I need to resolve all of my negative emotions and impaired relationships so I will know and experience your presence and love as well as feeling love for and from others. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Acts 17:27-28 (NIV).

2. See Hebrews 13:5.

3. Psalm 145:18 (NIV).

4. John 8:32 (NIV).

5. To find a counselor see “Suggested Resources for Counseling” at: http://tinyurl.com/85cel. Note, these resources are U.S. based, but some online services can be reached from Australia, New Zealand and from around the world. ACTS in no way receives any remuneration from any of these services. We list them as a service only.

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