The Problem Is “Never” the Problem

“A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance.”1

In teaching classes and counseling hurting people I often remind them that the problem is never the problem and the pain we feel is not the pain that is. This usually takes a while to sink in.

In most difficulties and conflicts what we see is the presenting problem which, more often than not, is the symptom of a deeper problem or “the fruit of a deeper root.”

As someone else said, “When we have unresolved problems/issues, God is merciful in that he gives us symptoms.” Relational conflicts, anxiety, insomnia, depression, addictions, spiritual dryness, physical ills, and any of a score of other symptoms can be caused or greatly aggravated by unresolved guilt over past unconfessed sins, a deeply buried resentment and a failure to forgive someone from a past hurt, unresolved grief from the loss of a love, or rebelling against the will of God, etc., etc. The roots of some of these issues can go all the way back to early childhood. All need to be confronted and resolved if we are to fully live and fully love, and maintain sound physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being.

Furthermore, many of our physical symptoms can be symbolic. Some ulcers, for example, are not caused so much by what we eat but by what is eating us. Tension headaches can be from jamming up anger in our head. Aching shoulders may be caused by feeling under a heavy load and so on. And if I have a pain in the neck … I may be one, or have someone or some situation in my life that I feel is a pain in the neck!

Tracing symptoms to their causes and resolving these opens the door for healing and recovery. If we don’t connect to and resolve the original pain that is the root cause of our symptoms, we will suffer the ongoing pain of the symptoms. This is what I mean by saying, “The pain we feel is not the pain that is.”

After David confessed his sin, he said, “What happiness for those whose guilt has been forgiven! What relief for those who have confessed their sins and God has cleared their record. There was a time when I wouldn’t admit what a sinner I was. But my dishonesty made me miserable and filled my days with frustration. All day and all night your hand was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water on a sunny day until I finally admitted all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them. I said to myself, ‘I will confess them to the Lord.’ And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.”2

David gives us an excellent example to follow.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, no matter what symptoms I have in my life, if they are the fruit of a deeper root, please give me the courage to see and confront these. And please lead me to the help I need to resolve them. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 28:13 (TLB)(NLT).

2. Psalm 32:1-5 (TLB)(NLT).

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Relational Living

“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’”1

It goes without saying that God created mankind for relationships from which comes 80 percent of life’s satisfaction. To live meaningfully is to be in meaningful relationships, without which life is lonely and leaves us with an empty “love tank” or vacuum in the heart.

If we don’t know how to relate in healthy ways, we don’t know how to fully live and fully love. As a result we can impair our mental and physical health.

God himself is in relationship through the Holy Trinity and Jesus started the Christian movement with relationships: “He [Jesus] appointed twelve … that they might be with him”2 Christ’s entire ministry was done in relationship with his twelve disciples, apart from his dying on the cross to bear the penalty for our sins. This he had to do alone.

As a Christian, our first need is to maintain a right relationship with God by confessing our sins, making right our wrongs, and living in harmony with his will. Trying to live the Christian life without this is like trying to go east by traveling north.

We then need close, connected relationships with people. Only then can we realize some of the deepest longings of the human heart. The reality is that we need people. Barbara Streisand sang it well: “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.” People who say otherwise are living in denial.

Furthermore, the degree of our mental health, emotional maturity, and physical and spiritual well-being will be reflected in the health or otherwise of our closest relationships. God’s command to “love one another” is not a sentimental suggestion. It’s an imperative—not for God’s sake but for ours.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to resolve any and all impaired relationships I may have. Help me also to live in harmony with your will so that I will have healthy relationships with myself, others and above all with you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Genesis 2:18 (NIV).

2. Mark 3:14.

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The Church’s Impact on the Family

“Let us not give up meeting together. Some are in the habit of doing this. Instead, let us cheer each other up with words of hope. Let us do it all the more as you see the day coming when Christ will return.”1

A study conducted some time ago by sociologist Steven Nock of the University of Virginia showed that couples who attend church regularly are 42 percent more likely to be married for the first time, and those in the church who were strongly committed to its beliefs had a 23 percent better chance of having a “very happy” marriage than those who don’t go to church.

Furthermore, according to a report by Warren Mueller, where both parents attend church regularly, 72 percent of their children continue in the faith. Where only the father attends, that percentage drops to 55 percent, but where only the mother attends, just 15 percent of the children remain involved in the church.

People then who have happy marriages and strong families are those who are committed to making their families strong. They work hard at communicating effectively. They spend time together. They express love and appreciation. They accept crises as normal and know how to work through them, and above all they trust in God and apply their faith to everyday living.

Need I say more?*

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to always put you first in my life and live in harmony with your will and what your Word teaches so that (whether married or single) I will have a productive and fulfilling family/friendship life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Hebrews 10:25 (NIV).

*Adapted from the article: “What a Good Church Can Do for You” at https://learning.actsweb.org/articles/article.php?i=117&d=1&c=10&p=1

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Vision

“Where there is no revelation [prophetic vision], the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law [of God].”1

Some 350 or more years ago a shipload of travelers landed on a distant land. The first year they established a town site. The next year they elected a town government. The third year the town government planned to build a road five miles westward into the wilderness.

In the fourth year the people tried to impeach their town government because they thought it was a waste of public funds to build a road five miles westward into a wilderness. Who needed to go there anyway?

Here were people who had the vision to see three thousand miles across an ocean and overcome great hardships to get there. But in just a few years they were not able to see even five miles out of town. They had lost their pioneering vision and certainly had no prophetic vision of what God’s plan was for this nation yet to be.

With a clear vision of what we can become and achieve in Christ, no ocean of difficulty is too great. As individuals, organizations, churches, and a nation without a vision of what God wants us to be and do we will eventually demise, “for without a vision the people perish.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please open the eyes of my understanding and give me a vision of what you are doing in the world in which I live and see clearly how I can be a part of your plans. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 29:18 (NKJV).

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Will Jesus Come Again?

“In my Father’s home [heaven] there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me.”1

At Christmas time—year after year—the world is dramatically reminded that God sent his Son, Jesus, to save lost mankind from his sin and its devastating consequences of eternal damnation. Christmas is also a good reminder that Jesus is coming back to earth for all who have accepted him as their personal Savior.

There are many references in the Old Testament section of the Bible that predicted Christ’s first coming to earth—an event that is an indisputable fact of history. According to Bible scholars there are 318 references in the New Testament about Christ’s second coming to earth. And as every prediction in the Old Testament regarding Christ’s first coming was fulfilled in minutest detail, we can be just as certain that every prediction in the New Testament regarding Christ’s second coming will also be fulfilled in minutest detail.

Jesus is coming again. God promised it in his Word, the Bible. Jesus himself promised it as well. And all the signs that Jesus and the Bible said would precede his second coming are evident today, also reminding us that Christ’s return could be very soon. The important question is: If Jesus were to come today, would you be ready?

For help to make sure you are ready for Jesus Christ’s return, see the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, how can I ever thank you enough for your great Christmas love gift to me and to the world. In appreciation for all you have done for me, I surrender my heart and life afresh to you. Please use me in whatever way you will to be a part of your plan to spread the gospel to the world in which I live and in some way to people around the world. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus in John 14:2-3 (NIV).

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Missing the Point

Wishing all a very Merry Christmas

“The people of this generation … are like children sitting in the market-place and calling out to each other: ‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not cry.’”1

On a December day back in 1903 at Kitty Hawk in North Carolina, Orville and Wilbur Wright, after numerous failures to fly a heavier-than-air machine made amazing history. They achieved something that no man had ever done before. Ecstatic, they sent a telegram to their sister Katherine: “We have actually flown 852 feet. Will be home for Christmas.”

Overjoyed, Katherine ran down to the local newspaper and pushed the telegram—the greatest news story of the new century—into the hand of the editor. After reading it he smiled and said, “Well, well! How nice the boys will be home for Christmas.”

I wonder how often we miss the point when God is doing a work among us. The religious people of Christ’s day who were actually anticipating his coming as their Messiah failed totally to recognize him—and ironically had him crucified—because he didn’t come and didn’t operate in the way that they expected.

And how tragic is it that so many people today are also missing the whole point of Christmas? The point being that on the birth of Christmas Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, clothing himself in an external garment of human flesh, stepped out of the “ivory palaces of heaven” to identify himself with lost mankind and came to earth to die on a cruel Roman cross to pay the penalty for your sins and mine so that we could be freely forgiven by God for all our sins and receive God’s gift of eternal life.

There is no greater tragedy in all of life than to miss out on God’s gift of forgiveness and eternal life.

Whatever you do, don’t miss out on the meaning and purpose of Christmas. Be sure to accept God’s gift of forgiveness and eternal life today. For help read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” online at: www.actsweb.org/christian.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me understand the true meaning and purpose of Christmas and be sure that I have been forgiven and have received your gift of eternal life and thereby know that I know that I know that I am a true Christian and follower of Jesus Christ. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus in Luke 7:32 (NIV).

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Down From His Glory Part II

“Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel [literally God-With-Us].”1

In following through on our story of yesterday about Tommy, the child who felt unloved and abandoned, we are graphically reminded of what God did for us at Christmas 2000 years ago.

While not abandoned by God, our sinfulness cut us off from him and we were left lost in a world of sin and darkness, doomed for an eternal hell—whatever and wherever that may be—to be forever separated, not only from God, but also from all that is good and all that is loving.

However, in his loving mercy, Jesus Christ the eternal Son of God, laid aside his external robes of deity and, clothing himself in a garment of human flesh, stepped out of the Ivory Palaces of Heaven, and came to earth so he could identify with mankind and save us from our despair and eternal lost-ness.

Unfortunately so many don’t realize the terrible plight we are in without God. Many reason that if God is a God of love, how could he ever send anyone to hell? It’s imperative for us to understand that because God is a God of absolute holiness no sin or sinner can ever exist in his presence. It’s also important to remember that it isn’t God who sends us to hell. If we reject his mercy and his pardon, we send ourselves there.

Furthermore, because God is absolutely just, all sin must be judged—and that judgment is eternal death, which is eternal separation from a holy and just God. Fortunately, however, God is also a God of absolute love and because he loved us, he sent his Son, Jesus, to pay the penalty for our sin, the penalty that God’s own justice demanded.

You may not be aware of it but Jesus is calling you to respond to his love and mercy. He has the gift of forgiveness for all your wrongdoing and sinful acts and, with his forgiveness, the gift of eternal life. And like the boy in Part I, God has been hiding in the shadows with you, patiently waiting for you to reach out and put your hand in his so he can lead you out of your lost-ness into his eternal life.

Why not answer God’s call today? You can do so by praying a simple prayer such as the following:

“Dear God, how can I ever thank you enough for loving me so much that you sent your Son, Jesus, to come to earth on that first Christmas. I admit and confess that I am a sinner and am sorry for all the wrongs that I have done. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me. And I invite you, Jesus, to come into my heart and life as Lord and Savior. I commit and trust my life to you. Please give me the desire to be what you want me to be and to do what you want me to do. Thank you for dying for my sins, for your free pardon, for your gift of eternal life, and for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.”

If you prayed this prayer, please click on (or copy and paste into your browser): www.actsweb.org/decision.php, and fill in the response form and we will send you a free copy of the e-Brochure, “How to Grow” to help you in your new Christian life. We will also send you the web address for the free “Ten Steps to Christian Growth.”

In the words of the songwriter, William E. Booth-Clibborn:

Down from His glory, ever living story,

My God and Savior came, and Jesus was His name;

Born in a manger to His own a stranger,

A man of sorrows, tears and agony!

Oh how I love Him! How I adore Him!

My breath, my sunshine, my all in all!

The great Creator became my Savior,

And all God’s fullness dwelleth in Him!

1. Isaiah 7:14 ( NKJV).

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Down From His Glory Part I

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.’”1

Henry Carter was working feverishly trying to prepare something fresh for his Christmas sermon when he was disturbed by a knock on his study door. It was the dorm mother of the church’s home for disturbed children. There was a crisis upstairs with one of the boys. Most of the boys go home for Christmas and only a few were left behind and were feeling very much abandoned and unloved.

Henry reluctantly followed the dorm mother up the stairs to the small dormitory chafing inwardly at yet another interruption. This time it was Tommy. He had crawled under his bed and refused to come out. The woman pointed to one of the beds. Not even a toe showed so Henry addressed the cowboys and bucking broncos on the bedspread. He told them of the beautifully decorated Christmas tree with all the presents in the church next door … and how there was a special present for Tommy.

Tommy was not impressed and continued to “play dead.”

Henry’s frustration increased as he knelt down on all fours and lifted the bedspread. As he peered under the bed his eyes met two enormous blue eyes expressing the fear and pain Tommy was experiencing. Henry could have easily pulled the little eight-year-old-looking-like-a-five-year-old child from under the bed, but he knew that this wouldn’t help. It was trust, not coercion, that Tommy needed—plus he needed to make the decision to come out by himself. So Henry tried as best he could to get Tommy excited about the special Christmas supper to be offered after the service, the wonderful presents, and the stocking filled with magnificent Christmas gifts with Tommy’s name on it.

All to no avail.

So … what else could Henry do? He got down on his stomach and wriggled himself under the bed to lay with his cheek pressed into the floor beside Tommy. Not a word he said seemed to have any effect. Not being able to think of anything else to say, Henry just laid there in silence beside Tommy. It seemed like such a long time but as Henry patiently waited, in time a small, cold hand crept into his.

After a while Henry said, “You know, Tommy, it’s pretty uncomfortable under here. Let’s you and me go where we can stand up.”

Ever so slowly they did.

Henry had no more worries about finding a Christmas message.2

To be concluded in tomorrow’s edition of Daily Encounter.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the marvel of the Christmas story. Please help me to fully understand why Jesus came to earth as a baby and then some 33 years later died on a Roman cross to save mankind from our sin. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 2:8-11 (NIV).

2. Adapted from “Take Hold of Love,” by Henry Carter, pp 29-30, The New Guideposts Christmas Treasury. Copyright © 1998, Guideposts, Carmel, New York, 10512.

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A Touching Christmas Story

“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”1

“The Doll and a White Rose” by V.A. Bailey

I hurried into the local department store to grab some last minute Christmas gifts. I looked at all the people and grumbled to myself. I would be in here forever and I just had so much to do. Christmas was beginning to become such a drag. I kind of wished that I could just sleep through Christmas. But I hurried the best I could through all the people to the toy department. Once again I mumbled to myself at the prices of all these toys, and wondered if the grandchildren would even play with them.

I found myself in the doll aisle. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little boy about 5 holding a lovely doll. He kept touching her hair and he held her so gently. I couldn’t seem to help myself. I just kept looking over at the little boy and wondered who the doll was for.

I watched him turn to a woman and he called his aunt by name and said, “Are you sure I don’t have enough money.” She replied a bit impatiently, “You know that you don’t have enough money for it. The aunt told the little boy not to go anywhere because she had to go get some other things and would be back in a few minutes. And then she left the aisle.

The boy continued to hold the doll. After a bit I asked the boy who the doll was for. He said, “It is the doll my sister wanted so badly for Christmas. She just knew that Santa would bring it.” I told him that maybe Santa was going to bring it. He said “No, Santa can’t go where my sister is, I have to give the doll to my Momma to take to her.”

I asked him where his sister was. He looked at me with the saddest eyes and said, “She has gone to be with Jesus. My Daddy says that Momma is going to have to go be with her.”

My heart nearly stopped beating. Then the boy looked at me again and said, “I told my Daddy to tell Momma not to go yet. I told him to tell her to wait till I got back from the store.” Then he asked me if I wanted to see his picture. I told him I would love to. He pulled out some pictures he’d had taken at the front of the store. He said, “I want my Momma to take this with her so she doesn’t ever forget me. I love my Momma so very much and I wish she did not have to leave me. But Daddy says she will need to be with my sister.”

I saw that the little boy had lowered his head and had grown so very quiet. While he was not looking, I reached into my purse and pulled out a hand-full of bills. I asked the little boy, “Shall we count that money one more time?”

He grew excited and said, “Yes, I just know it has to be enough” So I slipped my money in with his and we began to count it. And of course it was plenty for the doll. He softly said, “Thank you Jesus for giving me enough money.”

Then the boy said, “I just asked Jesus to give me enough money to buy this doll so Momma can take it with her to give to my sister. And he heard my prayer. I wanted to ask him for enough to buy my Momma a white rose, but I didn’t ask him, but he gave me enough to buy the doll and a rose for my Momma. She loves white roses so very, very much.”

In a few minutes the aunt came back and I wheeled my cart away. I couldn’t keep from thinking about the little boy as I finished my shopping in a totally different spirit than when I had started. And I kept remembering a story I had seen in the newspaper several days earlier about a drunk driver hitting a car and killing a little girl and the mother was in serious condition. The family was deciding on removal of the life support. Now surely this little boy did not belong with that story.

Two days later I read in the paper where the family had disconnected the life support and the young woman had died. I couldn’t forget the little boy and just kept wondering if the two were somehow connected. Later that day, I couldn’t help myself and I went out and bought some white roses and took them to the funeral home where the young woman was. And there she was holding a lovely white rose, the beautiful doll, and the picture of the little boy in the store.

I left there in tears, my life changed forever. The love that little boy had for his little sister and his mother was overwhelming. In a split second a drunk driver had ripped the life of that little boy to pieces.2

Please don’t drink and drive this holiday season nor throughout the coming year.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to always be sensitive to the needs of others around me and, where needed, help me to reach and be as Jesus to them as the lady in today’s lesson reached out to the heart-broken little boy. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 3:18 (NIV).

2. “The Doll and a White Rose” by V.A. Bailey. Source Unknown.

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A Little Child Shall Lead Them

“Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’”1

Joy, my wife, wrote how, “For several years our family vacationed every year at Christmas time in Mexico. We always took individually wrapped candy canes to give to the local children. One Christmas morning I had taken the bus to attend a Christmas church service. After the service, while waiting for the bus to arrive, I saw a very poor looking, unkempt little girl and greeted her saying, ‘Felice Navidad’ (Merry Christmas) and gave her a candy cane.

“A few minutes later, I felt someone tugging on my skirt and turned to see this same little girl smiling as she handed me a walnut! My first thought was, ‘I can’t accept this walnut from her as it may be all she had received for Christmas.’ However, I thought of the true meaning of Christmas giving so accepted her valuable gift. I got back to the beach where my family member were and was so deeply touched by this poor little girl’s precious gift, I cried. I still have the walnut and every year tell the story now to my grandchildren—and we still cry.

“I treasure this gift from a poor little girl who gave me all she had out of the abundance of her loving heart.”

At this Christmas season we are again reminded that Jesus gave his very all that we might be forgiven of all our sins and given the gift of eternal life—the greatest Christmas gift anyone could ever receive.

Jesus has this gift of forgiveness and eternal life for you, too, dear reader, so if you haven’t accepted it, be sure to do so at this Christmas season. For help, be sure to read “How to Be Sure You’re a Christian” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/christian.

And may you and I, like the little Mexican girl Joy wrote about, always give out of the abundance of a loving and grateful heart.

Suggested Prayer; “Dear God, thank you that you gave out of the abundance of your loving heart the greatest love gift in all the world—the gift of your Son, Jesus, to come to earth as a baby to live and die for my sins so that I could be given the gift of forgiveness and eternal life. And thank you, Jesus, for all you have done for me. Because you died for me, help me to live for you and always give to you and others out of a loving, grateful heart. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 19:14 (NIV).

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