Monthly Archives: September 2011

Pain, Part III: The Enricher of Life

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“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”1

There’s something else invaluable about pain. It can make you more sensitive, more compassionate, more understanding, and more creative.

Beethoven, for instance, composed one of his greatest oratorios after he became deaf. John Milton wrote one of his greatest poems after he became blind. Walter Scott wrote “The Lay of the Last Minstrel” after he was kicked by a horse and confined to his house for many days.

Those who have given the world the most are often those who have suffered the most. This is because those who have suffered the most tend to understand life and people the most.

One of my favorite stories is told about Renoir, the famous French painter. Apparently, when he was older, he suffered greatly from arthritis, but he kept painting anyhow. On one occasion his friend, Matisse, said to him, “Renoir, why do you keep painting when you are in so much pain?”

Renoir simply replied, “The pain passes, but the beauty remains.”

When it comes to your pain, if you invest it wisely by using it to help yourself grow and reach out to nurture other hurting people, your pain, too, will pass, but the beauty of what you have done will remain forever.

Remember, it’s one thing to hurt. It’s another thing to allow your pain to hurt you. Accept your hurt as an opportunity to heal, to grow, and to become a more understanding, sensitive, compassionate, real, and creative person. It has been costly. Don’t waste it. Invest it wisely in your own growth and in the enrichment of other people’s lives as well.2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, when pain comes into my life please help me to hear what you are ‘saying to me’ and what you want me to learn through it. Help me to not waste it but invest it wisely in my own growth and therein become a more understanding, sensitive, compassionate, real and creative person. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NLT).

2. Adapted from How to Mend a Broken Heart, by Dick Innes. Available from www.actscom.com/store/

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Pain, Part II: The Great Motivator

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“Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything.”1

Yesterday we noted that all pain is caused by the fact that we live in a broken, sinful world and pain will not be a thing of the past until the Lord Jesus returns and ends all pain for his true followers. In the meantime how do we live with personal pain?

Not so long ago a friend was in our home. She recently learned that she has cancer; she is only in her mid 30s. The same week we learned than one of the pastoral staff from our church just discovered that she, too, had cancer. And in fact, earlier this year we found out that Joy, my wife, had breast cancer and needed a mastectomy. So many Daily Encounter readers write and share their heart-breaking situations. The big question most of us ask at times such as these is, “Where is God when it hurts?”

I don’t want to sound over-simplistic, and I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers, but for one thing pain is nature’s way of letting us know that something is wrong and needs attention. It is a self-protective device. When a bone breaks, it hurts, If it didn’t hurt, chances are we wouldn’t take proper care of it and it wouldn’t heal properly.

Without pain, life would be extremely hazardous. For instance, the first symptom of high cholesterol, which of itself causes no pain, can be sudden death by a heart attack. One of the dangers of leprosy is the loss of feeling and pain. A person with this disease hurts his foot, but because he feels no pain, he has nothing to remind him to protect his wounded limb. He hurts it again. And again. Still there’s no pain. Eventually he loses his foot.

Thank God for this kind of pain. It’s an impelling force to motivate us to take proper care of ourselves when we are hurting. It is also one of the most effective motivators (and perhaps the only motivator) to cause us to look at ourselves and deal with our personal problems, resolve our past, and grow in maturity. One of the worst things we can do with our pain is to ignore or deny it, and run from it. We need to accept and invest it; first in our own growth and maturity and then in supporting others who are going through the same or similar experiences.2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to understand the purpose of pain in my life and realize that you want to use it to help me grow and become a better person while Satan wants to use it to discourage me and make me bitter. Help me to choose the higher road and therein become a healthier and more mature person as well as an encourager of others who are experiencing pain. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 1:2-4 (NLT).

2. Adapted from How to Mend a Broken Heart, by Dick Innes. Available from www.actscom.com/store/

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Pain, Part I: The Tsunami Effect

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“And I [John] heard a loud voice from the throne [heaven] saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’”1

Daily the news media continues to report more and more tragedies such as earthquakes (think of the recent Japanese massive earthquake and the warning of tsunamis that could affect 50 countries; devastating fires; floods; despicable acts of terrorism; child abuse; the murder and rape of Christians by religious fanatics who despise Christianity.

Over and over we hear tragic stories about thousands of families being torn apart—grieving children losing parents; heartbroken parents losing children; homes totally destroyed; and despicable evil including criminals kidnapping orphaned children for their loathsome sex trade business.

Where is God at times like this? If we say God has nothing to do with these events, we will be seen as people who believe in a sadistic God who doesn’t care. If we say that God causes or even allows such tragedies, again we will be criticized as believing in a God who doesn’t care.

The fact is that God created mankind with a free will to choose whichever way he wanted to go. Tragically man chose to disregard God and go his own sinful way. Subsequently, we now live in a world that has been broken by sin and that by sinful mankind. Thus a more realistic question to ask is not, “Where is God,” but “Where is man?” When mankind sinned, he left and separated us from God and in so doing divorced mankind from God’s protection. When we leave God and go our own way (believing that we know better than God), we suffer the natural consequences. This happens at an individual level, a national level, and a world-wide level.

For just one example, the more that God’s Word and Christian beliefs have been attacked and abandoned in the U.S.A., the greater has been the moral decline and the increase of national problems. This, too, has happened and will continue to happen worldwide as long as we are living in a world that is plagued by evil. In fact, according to God’s Word, tragedies will continue and intensify until Jesus Christ returns and rules and reigns on earth as King of kings and Lord of lords.1

However, because of God’s love he has made a way of escape by giving his Son, Jesus, to die for our sins and offer us the gift of forgiveness and eternal life to be with him forever where “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”1 But this is not going to happen until Jesus returns to earth as he promised he would.2

The good news is that Jesus is coming again and will clean up the mess this world is in and in time will create a new heaven and a new earth. The critical issue for every individual is, “Are you ready for Jesus Christ’s return?” While we may never fully understand the circumstances of life until Christ returns, whatever you do be sure to accept God’s forgiveness and his invitation to eternal life. For help to do this click on: https://learning.actsweb.org/invitation.php.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you have made a way of deliverance from this world of evil and evil’s consequences by giving your Son, Jesus, to die for my sins and making forgiveness and eternal life to be with you and your protection forever. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Revelation 21:3-5 (NIV).

2. John 14:1-3.

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Be a Responsibility Thinker

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“The man said, ‘The woman you put here with me—she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.’ Then the LORD God said to the woman, ‘What is this you have done?’ The woman said, ‘The serpent deceived me, and I ate.’”1

I’d had a busy weekend and had barely arrived home late one Sunday night when my telephone rang. “Is it convenient for you to talk now?” an all too familiar voice asked.

“I’m afraid it’s not,” I replied. “I’m exhausted and need to get to bed.” Can you call me in the morning?”

But the man didn’t stop talking. He began to pour out a tale of doom and gloom. He’d already called me several times and once again was telling me how badly his parents were treating him. He blamed them for all his problems—even though he was a grown man.

Finally I interrupted and said, “Peter, what your parents have done may be terrible, but as long as you keep blaming them or anybody else for your reactions and the difficulties you are having, you will never get better. I know you want them to change, but you can’t do that. If you try to, chances are they will only get madder at you. The only person anyone of us can ever change is our self—and as we change, those around us are almost forced to change (not always for the best however). Some people don’t want us to change because they want someone to “beat up on” as it were, or gripe about, or to pamper or parent them, or whatever. However, now that we are adults let us never forget that parents or others only do negative things to us if we allow them to.

Admittedly, Peter’s case was somewhat extreme, but it does illustrate a very common relationship problem. In a more subtle but just as real way, this is seen in a friend’s marriage which is in trouble and the husband writes and asks me to pray for his wife. “She really needs prayer for her problem,” he says, but says nothing about his problems!

Ever since Adam and Eve, people have been avoiding personal responsibility and blaming someone else for their problems. So, if I could impart to all people only one truth that has the power to transform their life, it would be this: You are responsible for your reactions, your over-reactions, for what you feel, for what you think, and for what you do. Always in all ways!

True, we weren’t responsible for our upbringing and many things that happened to us in the past, but as adults we are now totally responsible for what we do about resolving our past, for what we do about our problems, to our reaction to them, and for what we become and for what we do with our life.

As I often say, God will give us wisdom, guidance and direction if we truly want it, but he won’t do for us what we can and need to do for ourselves. If he did, he would be keeping us over-dependent and immature.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me always to be honest with myself and with you, quit blaming others for my responses and my problems, and always be personally responsible for both my actions and reactions in all situations. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Genesis 3:12-13 (NIV).

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Friendship

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“A man who has friends must himself be friendly.”1

The North American Indians had no written language before they met the white man. Their language, however, was far from primitive. Many of the Indians had as many words in their vocabulary as their English and French exploiters. Some of their words were much more picturesque, too. For example, “friend” to the Indians was “one-who-carries-my-sorrows-on-his-back.”

Every one of us needs at least one trusted Indian-type friend with whom we can share our deepest sorrows and disappointments. We all need a helping hand and a listening ear when we’re going through difficult times; a shoulder to cry on when we are hurting, loving arms to hug us when we are lonely, and a good friend to laugh with us when we are happy.

Choose friends who are encouragers. Avoid as far as possible friends who are negative—and those “who are cursed with the affliction to give advice” when it is neither asked for nor wanted. They’re not your friends. They will drain you. Being loving doesn’t mean that we let people walk over us. Being “as Jesus” to people often requires tough love which, when necessary, is the most loving thing to do.

And most important of all … be an Indian-type friend!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be an Indian-type friend to others and at the same time not allow others to walk over me. Give me the wisdom to know when to exercise tough love and the courage to do this when called for—but always in the Spirit and love of Jesus. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV).

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Blame Game Projection

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“Jesus said, ‘Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye,” when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?’”1

A rather humorous thing happened to me recently. I received an email from a somewhat irate subscriber informing me that he wanted me to stop sending him duplicate copies of Daily Encounter. The interesting thing was that I received a duplicate copy of his message to me! I wonder whose computer had the glitch.

Criticism is par for the course in the work I do. Constructive criticism I appreciate. If it’s fair, I consider it, thank the sender, and often make changes accordingly.

It’s amazing how many subscribers blame me because they can’t get Daily Encounter or get angry at me because they can’t unsubscribe. Most of the time, however (not always), it’s because of a spam blocker with their server or computer that blocks their receiving Daily Encounter. Or when they can’t unsubscribe, it’s often because they are trying to unsubscribe the wrong email address. I always politely explain the cause of the problem, but rarely—if ever—do any of these subscribers apologize for blaming me for their problem.

On one occasion I got cursed out by an angry “subscriber” calling me among other things an “expletive deleted” blithering idiot for subscribing him. Interestingly enough I recognized the email address. It was that of a friend of this complainer who subscribed using his office email address and someone else opened the email. I couldn’t resist telling this man that the person whom he was calling a “blithering idiot” who subscribed this address was one of his workmates.

It sure is easy to project the blame for our mistakes onto someone else. I’ve been guilty of doing the same thing myself. I try not to do this, but when I do, I always apologize when I realize it is my error. By way of interest, angry people are notorious for projecting the blame onto the people around them for the problems they themselves have caused.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see when I am in the wrong and be quick to admit it, and apologize for it when I blame someone else for it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 7:3-4 (NIV).

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Use It or Lose It

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“Through love serve one another.”1

I have read how “the Roman Aqueduct at Segovia, Spain was built in A.D.109. For eighteen hundred years it carried cool water from the mountains to the hot and thirsty city. Nearly sixty generations of men drank from its flow. Then came another generation, a recent one, who said, ‘This aqueduct is so great a marvel that it ought to be preserved for our children as a museum piece. We shall relieve it of its centuries-long labor.’ They did and they ruined it. They laid modern iron pipes to carry the water. They gave the ancient bricks and mortar a rest. And the aqueduct began to fall apart. The sun beating on the dry mortar caused it to crumble. The bricks and stone sagged and threatened to fall.”2

The same principle applies to one’s personal and family life, to his business, and/or to his or her church. When the Roman Aqueduct stopped serving others, it slowly fell apart. When a business or a church stops serving others, it too begins to fall apart. When family members ignore family responsibilities, the family rapidly falls apart. And as individuals when we stop using our God-given gifts—both natural and spiritual gifts—and fail to fulfill our God-given life purpose, little by little, what we once had in golden opportunities to serve we lose.

It’s an old adage but there’s a lot of truth in it: If you don’t use it, you will lose it!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to use the gifts and talents you have given me to serve you by serving others in the endless opportunities you give me every day. Grant that when I come to the end of life’s journey I won’t be among those who have nothing but ‘dry bricks’ to offer you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Galatians 5:13 (NKJV).

2. Cited on KneEmail #774, http://www.forthright.net/kneemail/

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Praying for a Life Partner, Etc.

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“If we ask anything according to God’s will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the request which we have asked from him.”1

“Please help me,” a Daily Encounter reader asks. “Is it okay to ask God to send me a special someone/companion to share my life? And how will I know that God has sent this person?”

You can ask God for every desire of your heart as long as it is in harmony with his will. He hears all sincere prayers and answers them—not always in the way we want them to be answered, but always in the way that is best for us.

However, to be attracted to and find a healthy, mature adult we need to be a healthy mature adult our self. So the key is learning to pray the right prayer; rather than asking God to send you or lead you to the right partner, you need to ask God first and foremost to help you become the right partner.

The fact is that only healthy, happy, mature people find healthy, happy, and mature partners. If an immature, unhealthy, self-centered person asks God for a life partner, will God lead them to a healthy and mature person? Not likely. And yet I see people expecting God to do this sort of thing all the time.

In our Western culture at least, romantically we are basically attracted to a partner where our neuroses (unresolved personal issues) mesh and we call it love or falling in love. Often it’s pure passion and/or need. This can lead to real love, but the problem with falling in love is that once the passion subsides, if we don’t have anything deeper, instead of growing in love we’ll fall out of love.

So the important way to pray is to ask God to help you grow in maturity and that he will then lead you to a healthy, mature person. Furthermore, to grow in maturity takes strong commitment and hard work on our part. There’s no such thing as instant maturity.

And how will you know this person you want to marry is God’s choice? First, realize that the choice is yours. God will give you wisdom and direction if you truly want it, but he won’t make your choices for you. That’s your responsibility because God isn’t codependent. And how will you know this person and you are right or best for each other? To discover this I urge couples to seek not only God’s direction in prayer, but also wise competent Christian counseling where, besides intense counseling, both partners are given psychological tests before they ever say, “I do.” This is using your head as well as your heart in one of life’s most important and critical decisions.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please lead me by your Holy Spirit to see any areas of immaturity in my life that I need to resolve. Help me to find the help I need to overcome any such issues. And then please give me wisdom and direction in finding a healthy and mature life partner (and/or good friends). Furthermore, teach me to always pray the right prayers, ones that are based on truth and reality, and are in harmony with your will. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: For further help, read “How to Get Prayer Answered.” Click on: https://learning.actsweb.org/faith_prayer_answer1.htm.

1. 1 John 5:14-15 (NIV).

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Sunk in a Sinkhole

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“One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, ‘Isn’t this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite?’”1

“In December 1985 an enormous sinkhole swallowed a house and carport and forced the evacuation of four homes in a retirement community in Florida. The hole was about the size of a pickup truck when it was discovered. Within three hours it had grown to 30 by 40 feet and had swallowed half of a small house. Two hours later it had expanded to more than 70 feet, and the house with its carport was gone. Authorities were grateful that it finally stopped growing without doing even more damage.

“David discovered that sin is like an ever-expanding sinkhole. As he was walking on the flat roof of his palace, he saw a beautiful woman bathing. Instead of turning away, he stared longingly at her. At this point the sinkhole was small but expanding. When he inquired about who she was, the hole grew larger. And finally, when he sent for her, he soon found himself and those around him swallowed up. What started out as only a look ended in tragedy for all involved.”2

Many people, like David, find themselves falling into the sinkhole of temptation because they leave the door open for temptation to enter.

Temptation works the same for all of us. It’s progressive. It can start with an innocent look, then a thought, and then if we linger longer on the look, the thought progresses to desire, then to becoming blind to reality and fooling ourselves into rationalizing that it won’t hurt, and then to yielding. Following this pathway can quickly lead one into the sinkhole of sin as well as despair.

To overcome temptation we need to realize how vulnerable we are to the pull that temptation has on us. Note that “what the mind dwells on the body acts on,” so when temptation knocks on our door, the best defense is to change our thinking. To do this immediately, pray, “Help, Jesus, help,” and say over and over, “Jesus Christ is Lord,” until the tempting thoughts are wiped out.

Also, as God’s Word says, “Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men [and women] of courage; be strong.”3 And again, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”4 “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”5

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, may I never forget that I, like David, am just as open and vulnerable to temptation as he was. Please help me to call on you in the hour or even the moment of temptation, and give me the strength to resist the devil so that he will flee from me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Samuel 11:2-3 (NIV).

2. “Lessons on Living,” Back to the Bible. www.backtothebible.org/.

3. 1 Corinthians 16:13 (NIV).

4. 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV).

5. James 4:7 (NIV).

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Religion Vs. Relationships

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“He [Jesus] appointed twelve … that they might be with him.”1

It may surprise some to realize that God isn’t into religion. He’s into relationships. He’s not into morality either. He’s into reality. And his goal isn’t to make us good for goodness sake. God’s goal is to make us whole for only to the degree that we are made whole will our lifestyle, our actions, our behavior, and our relationships be whole-some.

Becoming whole begins with wholesome relationships both with God through Jesus Christ* and with other loving Christians. As someone has said, “To be is to be in relationships.” We don’t grow in isolation. This is one reason we need to belong to a loving, accepting, non-judgmental, and non-legalistic church and within a smaller group in relationship with likeminded Christians. We only grow and become the person God wants us to be as we are in such relationships. We’re not talking about “head to head” but rather “heart to heart” relationships that are open, authentic and real.

Selwyn Hughes pointed out that “the Christian movement began in relationships.” As today’s Scripture stated, “He [Jesus] appointed twelve…that they might be with him.” If Jesus needed to be in relationship with others, how much more do we?

God’s goal for the Christian is not for him/her to do good or even to be good. It is to be in relationship with Christ and become whole. It is out of being with him and being made whole that our desire to be good and to do good will come. This will be a natural expression of who we have become. As Hughes put it, “Trying to be good without that relationship [with Christ] is like trying to get a stream without a spring, or sunlight without the sun.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to develop a healthy, maturing, and loving relationship with you as well as being in relationship with at least one or two other loving, open, honest and real Christians, so that I will become the person you want me to be, and do what you would have me to do. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Mark 3:14 (NIV).

2. Adapted from Selwyn Hughes in the daily devotional, Every Day with Jesus, November 1989.

* Note: To ensure that you are in a right relationship with God, be sure to read the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/christian

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