Monthly Archives: May 2011

Acting Out

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“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has … sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners, recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed”1.

Fred is an alcoholic. Betsy is a drug addict. Bernard is a sexaholic. What causes Fred, Betsy and Bernard to act out this way?

Certainly we all have a bent towards sinning because we happen to have a sinful nature. However, in addition we act out in destructive ways because we have been further damaged emotionally (mostly in childhood) through rejection, emotional abandonment, controlling love, and many other ways—the bottom line of which is love deprivation. As a result, we are left in pain, feeling angry, resentful, hurt, fearful, guilty, shame-based, insecure, and so on.

It’s the unresolved pain that drives us to act out. We do it to medicate or anesthetize our inner pain and emptiness. One reason an alcoholic drinks, for example, is to deaden the pain of his/her loneliness, hurt or anger, and to avoid facing these painful feelings. The food addict is seeking to fill the empty hole in his/her heart caused by love deprivation. The workaholic keeps forever busy/active to avoid feeling the pain of feeling unloved. The sex addict is not a highly sexual person, but one who uses sex to avoid facing the fact that he/she doesn’t feel loved and is looking for love in all the wrong places.

The beginning cure for overcoming these problems is to feel and face one’s inner pain and allow it to drive us into recovery. The destructive acting-out ways are symptoms of unresolved inner problems. Among other things, God wants to heal us of emotional blindness so we can see the truth and be healed within—to heal us from the inside out. If we treat only the symptoms—our acting out—this will only lead to increased problems farther down the road.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to see and face every problem I have, deal with it and resolve any hidden causes, and get my ‘love cup’ (love needs) filled in healthy ways, so I won’t seek to deaden my emptiness by acting out self-destructive ways or seek to get my ‘love cup’ filled with the wrong kind of love. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus in Luke 4:18 (NIV)

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As You Think So Are You

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“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”1

Golfer Arnold Palmer has won hundreds of trophies, but he never flaunts them. In his office is only one trophy on display. It is a small cup he received at his first professional win at the Canadian Open in 1955.

On his office wall is a lone framed plaque that reads:

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you’d like to win but think you can’t, it’s almost certain you won’t.
But sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.
Life’s battles, challenges, successes and/or failures are all fought, won or lost in the mind.

“Keep your heart with all diligence,” said Solomon, “for out of it are the issues of life.”2 The heart in the Bible refers to the total mind: the intellect, the will, and the emotions. And that’s the mind we need to guard with all diligence and daily commit and trust to God.

For what the mind dwells on, the body acts on. If you don’t believe this, think how temptation works. First a thought, then we dwell on it and keep thinking about it, rationalize it in our mind, and act on it. It is all too true: What the mind dwells on the body acts on.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to guard my heart and my thoughts with all diligence … and keep my thoughts focused on things that are ‘true, pure, and of good report.’ Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 23:7

2. Proverbs 4:23

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Handling Criticism

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“For I am afraid that when I come to visit you I won’t like what I find, and then you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfishness, backstabbing, gossip, conceit, and disorderly behavior.”1

Colonel George Washington Goethals, the man responsible for the completion of the Panama Canal, had stifling problems with the climate and the geography of Central America. Driving rains, incredible heat, and deadly disease were problems that never left his task. But his biggest challenge was the growing criticism back home from those who predicted he’d never finish the project. The voices of the critics appeared to be the biggest problem of all.

Finally, a colleague asked him, “Aren’t you going to answer these critics?”

“In time,” answered Goethals.

“When?” his partner asked.

“When the canal is finished,” replied Goethals.2

Criticism can be very hurtful and discouraging; that is, if we allow it to be. Admittedly, it takes a good amount of healthy self-confidence to be able to withstand the cutting remarks of jealous, lesser people. As long as we are living and working in harmony with God’s Word and his will, we can, with God’s help, choose not to allow criticism to control us.

I like what one person said, “What you think of me is none of my business!”

So, let’s make sure we are not critical, negative, discouraging people. And if people criticize us, let our deeds speak for themselves.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me not to be a critical person. Help me to live in harmony with your will so if I am criticized, I will let my actions and what I do be my answer to my critics. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Corinthians 12:20 (NLT).

2. The Timothy Report, Copyright (c) 2004 Swan Lake Communications, http://www.timothyreport.com. Cited on andy_chaps-thefunnies.

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The Power of Love

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“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”1

“Years ago, R. G. Lee told a powerful story about a mountain school that had a hard time keeping a teacher. It seems there was a group of big, rough boys who took pride in running the teacher off. The biggest and roughest of them all was named Tom.

“A new young teacher won over the boys by allowing them to write the rules for the school—which were strictly enforced with a rod. For example, cheating would be punished with five strokes of the rod, and stealing with ten strokes, both to be given with the offender’s coat off.

“Everything went well until one day Tom’s lunch was stolen. A frail little boy in hand-me-down clothes that were too big for him admitted his guilt. The school rules demanded that he be whipped. When the teacher called the little fellow up front, he came whimpering and begging to leave his coat on. The pupils insisted he obey the rules and take off his coat. When he did, a deathly silence settled over the room, for he had no shirt on and his emaciated body looked like skin stretched over bones. The teacher gasped and dropped the rod. He knew he could never whip that little boy.

“Suddenly, big Tom strode up and stood between the two. ‘I’ll take it for him, Teacher, for after all it was my lunch he stole.’ He shrugged out of his coat.

“At the third blow the switch broke, and the teacher threw it in the corner and said, ‘That’s all, school dismissed.’

“The frail little boy laid his hand on big Tom’s arm and through his tears said, ‘Thank you, Tom, it would have killed me.’”2

And that’s exactly what Jesus did for you and me when he died on the cross some 2000 years ago—he took your and my punishment for all our sins so we could be freely forgiven and given God’s gift of eternal life. And that punishment did kill Jesus.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins and, if so, have you accepted God’s full and free pardon? You can do that right now by praying the following prayer:

“Dear God, I confess that I am a sinner and am sorry for all the wrongs that I have done. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ, died on the cross for my sins. Please forgive me. I invite you, Jesus, to come into my heart and life as Lord and Savior. I commit and trust my life to you. Please give me the desire to be what you want me to be and to do what you want me to do. Thank you for dying for my sins, for your free pardon, for your gift of eternal life, and for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.”

If you prayed this prayer, please let us know by going to:

https://learning.actsweb.org/decision.php.

For further help read, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: www.actsweb.org/christian.

1. John 3:16 (NIV).

2. Cited on www.sermons.com.

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How to Get Prayer Answered Part III

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“If we ask anything according to God’s will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the request which we have asked from him.”6

Pray specifically. Recently I had a need for office equipment and asked God to show me how to get the needed funds that month! That night I was unable to sleep so I got up and worked on balancing my finances. To my amazement, I found a mistake in my favor and was able to order the equipment the next day!

Pray persistently. Not all prayers get answered so quickly. I have prayed for some things for years before getting an answer. If our prayer is legitimate, sometimes we need to be as persistent as Jacob, who once said to God, “I will not let you go until you have blessed me.”7 Jesus Himself said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”8 The principle is to keep on asking and seeking until you receive.

Pray in harmony with God’s will. As today’s Scripture says, “If we ask anything according to God’s will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the request which we have asked from him.”6

High on God’s priorities for us is our growth and maturity. Prayers in harmony with this principle, and with all of God’s will, will always be effective. Prayers outside his will are denied.

Pray sincerely. “Do you want to be made well?” was Jesus’ question. In other words, if we want God to answer our prayers, we have to want the answer enough to be willing to pay the price. For instance, if we want to grow in faith, love, patience, perseverance, and maturity, we need to realize that all of these are acquired through experience, often painful experience. As the Bible says, “Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character.”9

Pray in Jesus’ name. “I tell you the truth,” [Jesus said] “anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to [God] the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son [Jesus] may bring glory to [God] the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”10

Finally, come to God on his terms. Effective prayer is also dependent on our having a right relationship with God through his Son, Jesus Christ. He is the only one through whom we can approach God. “Nobody can come to God except through me,”11 Jesus said. Because of our sin, our relationship with God has been broken. But because of Christ’s death for us on the cross, our relationship with God can be restored by our responding to Jesus’ invitation to receive him into our heart and life as personal Lord and Savior.* And then we can come to God in prayer through Jesus.

When we are living in a right relationship with God and learn to pray the right prayers, we can be certain that God will answer them. As Jesus said, “If you stay in [right relationship with] me and obey my commands, you may ask any request you like, and it will be granted!”12

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you are always available to hear and answer my prayers. Like Thomas of old, please help me in my times of unbelief to know in my heart that you always hear and answer my prayers when I pray sincerely, in harmony with your will, and come to you through Jesus Christ my Lord and my Savior. Thank you for always doing this. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

* To accept God’s Invitation to accept his full and free pardon go to: https://learning.actsweb.org/invitation.php.

6. 1 John 5:14-15 (NIV).

7. Genesis 32:26 (TLB)(NLT).

8. Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV).

9. Romans 5:3-4 (RSV)(NASB).

10. John 14:12-14 (NIV)

11. John 14:6

12. John 15:7 (TLB)(NLT)

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How to Get Prayer Answered Part II

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“The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”2

Pray for truth. When we have a problem, a habit that has us beaten, a conflict, or even some sicknesses, we tend to focus our prayers on the symptoms rather than on the cause or causes. As counselor Dr. Cecil Osborne explains, when we unconsciously cover a deeper sin or fault, we tend to confess a lesser one all the more vigorously [or somebody else's]. This is because we don’t see or are afraid to see the often deeper cause or causes of our problems.

Whenever I have a problem, I acknowledge the problem but also ask God to show me the root cause of the problem, because often our problems are the fruit of a deeper root. In other words, we usually just see the “presenting problem,” which so often is the symptom of a deeper problem.

This is why I ask God to face me with the truth of what I am or might be contributing to my problem, to give me the courage to see it, and the help to do what I need to do to resolve it. Praying for the truth is one of the most effective ways of praying I know. Sometimes I don’t want to see the truth for fear it might be too frightening, so I tell God that I am willing to be made willing to see it—whatever it might be—and no matter how painful this might be.

Whenever I have prayed this way, I have always had my prayer answered. Sometimes the answer comes quickly, other times slowly. It usually depends on when I am ready to receive it.

Pray honestly. If I pray that God will bless my neighbor, but in my heart I hate my neighbor, which prayer will God hear? Obviously, what my heart is saying. The only way God will bless my neighbor in answer to my prayer is if I admit that I hate him and ask God to help me to love him.

Meaningless repetition doesn’t mean a thing to God.3 The prayer he hears and answers is the one that comes from the heart. As today’s Scripture says, “The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”1

Pray believing. Faith, too, is essential for effective prayer. As Jesus said, “All things, whatever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive,”4 and “according to your faith will it be done to you.”5

To be concluded…

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me always to pray according to the principles as found in your Word, the Bible, so I can be certain you will hear and answer my prayers. Thank you, too, that when I am truthful with you, you are near to help me when I call on you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

2. Psalm 145:18 (NIV)

3. Matthew 6:7

4. Matthew 21:22 (NIV)

5. Matthew 9:29 (NIV)

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How to Get Prayer Answered Part I

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“You do not have, because you do not ask God. And when you do ask, you don’t receive because you ask wrongly, with wrong motives, for selfish reasons.”1

An overcast sky made the country night intensely dark and a light drizzle made the highway dangerously slick. On my way home that night, as I passed a semi-trailer and pulled in front of it, my car struck a slippery patch of roadway and went slithering snake-like down the road out of control. Abruptly my car swung around and began careening down the road backwards with the semi-trailer barreling down on top of me!

In terror I prayed, “God, help!”

With only moments to spare, my car suddenly flipped sideways out of the path of the oncoming semi! But it kept skidding sideways off the highway and down an embankment. Certain my car would now overturn, in terror I prayed again. Amazingly, my car didn’t overturn. Neither did it stop. It swung around and then went forward bouncing through a field. “Oh no,” I thought, “now I’ll end up smashing into a tree.” I thought my number was up. I prayed again.

Eventually my car stopped in front of some bushes. Miraculously, I missed every post by the roadside and every tree in the field. I backed up a few feet, turned around and drove back to the freeway without a single bruise to myself or a scratch on my car.

Was my safety a coincidence or does God answer prayer and help us when we call on him?

In my experience, I have found that God answers some prayers very quickly; others quite slowly. And some don’t seem to get answered at all.

Effective prayer is not a lucky charm to gain special favors. Neither is it a pain-killer like a giant aspirin: “Take God three times a day and you won’t feel any pain!” as John Powell put it.

Prayer can be effective. The key is learning to pray the right prayer. As the Bible says, “You do not have, because you do not ask God. And when you do ask, you don’t receive because you ask wrongly, with wrong motives, for selfish reasons.1

How, then, do we pray the right prayers?

Pray responsibly. God won’t do for us what we need to do for ourselves. Many a time, for example, when I was a student, I’d pray furiously for God’s help at examination time—especially when I wasn’t adequately prepared. I managed to pass my exams, but not because of any pray-instead-of-study prayers.

To be continued…

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you desire that I always come to you in prayer, and that you always answer my prayers—one way or the other. Help me to learn how to pray the right prayer and not expect you to do for me what I can and need to do for myself. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

1. James 4:2-3 (paraphrase).

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What Is Real?

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“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment … Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”1

King Duncan of Sermons.com shared how his pastor told about a young female soldier who wrote home to her parents about a young man she was attracted to. “Of course,” she said, “since we are not allowed to wear makeup, he has no idea how I really look.”

Oh?

It’s incredible, at least in the Western world, how much value we place on physical beauty. But as we all know, outward beauty has little to do with the character of the person or whether they are real or not.

In the wonderful children’s story, “The Velveteen Rabbit,” by Margery Williams, the Rabbit asked the old Skin Horse the baffling question, “What is real?” To the stuffed rabbit, according to the boasting of the other toys, being real had something to do with being impressive and captivating.

But as the wise Skin Horse answered, “Real isn’t how you are made. It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

Need I say more?

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to become real and beautiful on the inside, knowing that these are of great worth to you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NIV).

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The Safest Road to Hell

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Jesus said, “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.”1

C. S. Lewis wisely pointed out that “The safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without guideposts.”

The danger is that good people can be lost and on their way to Hell without knowing it. For instance, Nicodemus, the Jewish religious leader, was a good man. He asked Jesus a question about God and, ignoring his question, Jesus told him that there was only one way to see the kingdom of God, and that was, “You must be born again.” Understandably, Nicodemus was confused and asked Jesus for an explanation. Simply put, Jesus was saying that to enter earth we were born physically; similarly, to enter God’s kingdom—including Heaven—we have to be born spiritually. Jesus added that unless we are born spiritually, we wouldn’t even see the Kingdom of Heaven let alone enter it.2

And how can we be born spiritually? 1) By admitting that we have sinned and are guilty before God; 2) By believing that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that he died on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins; and 3) By inviting Jesus Christ to come into our heart and life as personal Lord and Savior, and asking God for his forgiveness and the gift of eternal life.

For help to do this, please read “God’s Invitation to accept his full and free pardon,” on line at: www.actsweb.org/invitation.php.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for explaining to Nicodemus, a good man and a religious leader, that he, too, needed to be born again spiritually to enter your kingdom of Heaven. Please help me to know for certain that I am born again and will be with you in Heaven when my life’s work is ended. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Mathew 10: 28 (NIV).

2. See John 3:3, 5 and 7 (NKJV)

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Life’s Echo

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“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.”1

You may have seen the following parable on the web, but it stands repeating.

A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: “AAAhhhhhhhhhh!” To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: “AAAhhhhhhhhhh!”

Curious, he yells: “Who are you?”

He receives the answer: “Who are you?”

Angered at the response, he screams: “Coward!”

He receives the answer: “Coward!”

He looks to his father and asks: “What’s going on?”

The father smiles and says: “Son, pay attention.”

And then he screams to the mountain: “I admire you!”

The voice answers: “I admire you!”

Again the man screams: “You are a champion!”

The voice answers: “You are a champion!”

The boy is surprised, but does not understand.

Then the father explains: “People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do.2

Thomas Dreier said, “The world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove loving and friendly and helpful to you. The world is what you are.”

As Jesus said, “What we sow is what we reap.” If we sow negativity, we will reap negativity. If we sow bitterness, we will reap bitterness. If we sow criticism, we will reap criticism. On the other hand, if we sow love, we will reap love. If we sow friendship, we will reap friendship. If we sow encouragement, we will reap encouragement. Life gives back what we give to it.

Be sure to sow seeds of kindness, encouragement, and love today—and every day—and you will find, in time, that is exactly what you will receive back. For what we project is what we get back.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for your Word, the Bible, that teaches everyday principles for meaningful living. Please help me always to sow seeds of kindness, encouragement, and love wherever I go and no matter with whom I am. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1. Galatians 6:7 (NIV)

2. Unknown author. Seen on the Internet.

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