Monthly Archives: August 2010

I’m Just a Kid . . . But

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“The LORD [God] came and stood there, calling as at the other times, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’ Then Samuel said, ‘Speak, for your servant is listening.’”1

Larry L. wrote to me a very short but impressive note. It read, “Sorry I can’t donate anything. I’m just a kid, but I’ll stand right with you in prayer. I’ll continue to pray for your mission. Thanks for all your messages.”

I replied: Hi Larry, bless you for your desire to pray for our ministry. This is a big offering to the Lord, and a great encouragement and blessing to Joy and me.

Remember, too, that God has used lots of kids in his work—kids who made themselves available for him to use—kids whom he used to make an impact on others.

Samuel, one of the great prophets of God in years gone by, began to serve God when he was just a kid.

When God called David who became the mighty King of Israel, he was just a shepherd lad being diligent with his work.

Jesus took the five two loaves of bread and two fish that a kid gave to him to feed a multitude of people.

I started serving God when just a kid by collecting and putting away the hymn books after every service in the small church I attended. And one of the best pieces of advice I received when I was little more than a kid was to commit and trust my life and way to God every day—and I’ve been doing that ever since. That’s been for quite a few years now. I encourage you to do the same and God will use you, too, to influence who knows how many people.

Also, ask God every day to use you to be “as Jesus” to your family, friends and every life you touch.

God’s very best to you, Larry, and many thanks again for standing with us in prayer.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you so much for kids who have a tender heart towards you. Please help me to always come to you as such a child and use me to share your love to others. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Samuel 3:10 (NIV).

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Be Careful Where You Walk

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“Above all else, guard your heart . . . keep your foot from evil.”1

I have read that the African impala can jump more than ten feet high and cover a distance of thirty feet. So why can impalas be held captive in a zoo behind a wall that is only three feet high?

It’s because this magnificent animal will not jump if it can’t see where its feet are going to fall—and beyond the zoo wall it cannot see.

Smart animal.

God’s advice to us is the same, “Above all else, guard your heart; for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”2

Great advice!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for your Word, the Bible, which gives us instructions for wholesome, healthy, and productive living. Give me a hunger to know your Word and the good sense to apply it and live by it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 4:23, 27 (NIV).

2. Ibid.

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A Lesson From Ben Hur

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“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”1

King Duncan writes how “there is a great lesson in the story of Ben Hur—a young Jewish lad who is charged with a crime he didn’t commit. In a travesty of a trial he is condemned to the galleys. They chained him to a bench in the hold of a ship and to an oar. For weeks and months, then years he is forced to pull on that oar. If he should ever slack up, he will feel the sting of the lash.

“But finally Ben Hur escapes from this barbaric punishment. It is time for Ben Hur’s famous chariot race with Mersala, the haughty Roman. The chariot race is ultimately a test of strength and endurance. As Ben Hur whips those great horses around the inner ring, it is clear that he is the stronger and more fit of the two. The years of pulling on the oar in the hold of a ship had produced a man of steel.

“There may be a great deal of injustice in our lives. We may feel that we are chained to an oar. But if we keep pulling, if we keep giving our best, [with God's help] we can become better people through our hardships.”2

True, the trials of life can make us bitter or they can make us better. We can take the high road or the low road. It’s never easy but the choice is ours.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, whenever trials come my way, please help me to accept them as opportunities to grow and become a healthier and stronger person, so I will be better equipped to serve you and help others. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 1:2-4 (NIV).

2. King Duncan, www.sermons.com.

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When You Can’t Forgive Yourself

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“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he [God] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”1

A reader writes: “In a recent Daily Encounter you mentioned that God forgives us and you also said, ‘don’t forget to forgive yourself. But what if you can’t? What if you don’t know how to?’

“In short a family member was terminally ill and I was her 24/7 caregiver which was stressful, and there were times I lost my temper or times when I knew I should do something with her but was hiding in another room because I didn’t like to see her that way. There is so much I did or didn’t do for which I am very regretful and I don’t know how to forgive myself. I have been seeing a counselor and it has helped me understand but I can’t seem to forgive myself. I know there has to be a way—but how?”

Dear Janice (name changed), when we confess our sins to God, he does forgive us regardless of our feelings. When we can’t forgive ourselves, one reason is because we are either perfectionists or have perfectionistic tendencies. The problem then isn’t that we can’t forgive ourselves, but that we are perfectionists who have unreal expectations of ourselves.

Another reason can be because of low self-esteem, and we falsely believe that we are not worthy of forgiveness.

So, ask God to give you the insight and courage to face the root cause of your inability to forgive yourself. If you seek this truth with all your heart, when you are ready to face and accept it, you will see it.

In the meantime, try to see that you are expecting more of yourself than God is. Remember, when you confess your sins and failures to him, he forgives you fully and freely. Every day say out loud many times: “Thank you, God, that you have forgiven me and, because you have forgiven me, with your help I forgive me.” Repeatedly stating this with deep emotion or feeling, can help to program this truth into your unconscious mind and into your belief system. Once you truly believe this truth, you will be able to feel forgiven.

Yes, you may find this difficult to do, but do it anyhow because it is based on God’s Word and not your feelings. Just don’t allow your damaged emotions to control your life.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that when I confess my sins to you, you have promised to forgive me. Help me to not only know this but also feel it in my heart. And whenever I have a problem forgiving myself, please help me to see the reason for this, and lead me to the help I need to overcome. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 John 1:8-9 (NIV).

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We Do Have Choices

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“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care . . . not lording it over those entrusted to you.”1

Em Griffin, author of The Mind Changers, tells about a good friend from the University of Michigan who went as a medical missionary to Bangladesh. When he arrived on the mission field, he was informed that he couldn’t keep his four children with him, but that they would have to go away to boarding school. This was the policy of the mission and he didn’t have a choice.

He responded, “Sure I have a choice! Our kids need us. Evangelization in the home first, then on the mission field.” He then proceeded to raise more money, found a teacher, and established a mission school right on the hospital grounds.

Certainly we need to follow our God-given leaders. However, when they are in the wrong (as we/they sometimes are), it is important to confront them in Christian love where necessary, and to do what is right. As Peter pointed out, no leader has a right to control (lord it over) anybody else. When we do, we are playing the role of God and the Holy Spirit in their life.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me the serenity to accept the leadership of your servants when what they say is in harmony with your will, the courage and grace to stand against them when they are not in your will, and the wisdom to know the difference. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

1. 1 Peter 5:2-3 (NIV).

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The Beautiful Ugly Duckling

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“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”.1

Most of us will be familiar with the children’s fable of the ugly duckling how a mother hen had six beautiful golden yellow chicks and one ugly gray one. The ugly one was picked on by all the other chicks, rejected, made fun of, and made to feel terrible because he was so different. You can imagine how he felt. Some time later when all the chicks were grown, along came a flock of beautiful swans. How the ugly duckling adored them and lo and behold, he looked into the water and saw his own reflection and came to the profound realization that he wasn’t an ugly duckling but a beautiful swan! His life was forever changed.

Did you ever feel like you were an “ugly duckling” misfit? Many of us have. Many still do. I’ve known beautiful people who felt and believed they were ugly. In younger days I had a “girl friend” who told me I was ugly. Tragically I believed her! She wasn’t my girl friend very long but the image she planted in my mind took a long time to erase. When we define ourselves as ugly and believe it, it can be devastating to our self-image and behavior and how well we do in life.

When parents or peers repeatedly tell us we are ugly, clumsy, stupid or whatever, and we believe what they say and define ourselves that way, we tend to act accordingly because we always act consistently with what we believe deep down—no matter what we may profess.

I know it is easier said than done, but there is only one way to truly define ourselves, and that is how God sees us. And when we see ourselves this way, our life can be forever changed too!

Certainly God sees our wounded-ness, our brokenness, our sins, and our failures, but he separates our person from our actions and sees beyond these. He sees us as his creation and loves us with an everlasting love. He sees the person in us that he envisions us to be . . . our potential and what, with his help, we can become.

As Michelangelo said, “I saw the angel in the marble and chiseled until I set it free.” That’s how God sees you and me. He looks beyond the rugged exterior and sees the “angel” within each of us.

As God said to the ancient Israelites, he also says to you and me: “For I know the plans I have for you . . . plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

May God help each of us to see ourselves as God sees us, to see our God-given potential, and with God’s help become that person. (If you haven’t already done this, it begins with accepting God’s Son, Jesus Christ, as your personal Lord and Savior. For help, click on the article, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: http://tinyurl.com/real-christian.)

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you know and see me exactly as I am—and love and accept me totally as I am. Thank you, too, that you have a wonderful plan and purpose for my life. Please help me to see this, believe it, and define myself as you see me—and with your help, become that person. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

1. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

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Learning to Love

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“‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”1

Someone else said with tongue-in-cheek, “Heaven help your neighbor if you hate yourself!” They were right.

Every normal person wants and needs loving relationships, but if we hate ourselves we are not going to experience loving relationships. We will unconsciously project our self-hatred onto others and set them up to reject us, for what we project is what we get back!

Actually, only to the degree that I have learned to love and accept myself in a healthy sense am I able to love and accept others in a healthy sense. What I hate and have rejected in myself, I will also hate and reject in others. My relationships will only ever be as healthy as I am.

Healthy self-love and acceptance isn’t a prideful thing, but rather, it is learning to know and accept ourselves as we are—dark side and all. Only then are we able to change and keep growing to become healthier and more loving persons.

To grow in self-love we need to be fully known by at least one other loving and accepting person—a person who will not put us down, judge or criticize us, tell us what we should or shouldn’t do, try to fix us, give unsolicited advice, or preach at us, but accept us just as we are. It is through their knowing, accepting, and loving us as we are that, little by little, we learn to love and accept ourselves. This truth cannot be over-emphasized for we can only feel loved to the degree that we are known, accepted, and loved by at least one loving, trusted person. This is not to imply that this person approves of any negative or destructive behavior. Not at all.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me at least one safe, loving and accepting person whom I can trust with my total life—dark side and all—and through their loving acceptance of me, help me to learn to love and accept myself as you love and accept me, so I can truly love you with all my heart, soul, and mind, and love my neighbor as you want me to. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 22:36-40 (NIV).

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Be Angry—Sin Not

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“In your anger do not sin.”1

I recall teaching a group where I said that it was okay to be angry. One lady was absolutely amazed. She told me that she had been taught all her life that Christians never get angry. So she had reasoned in her mind: “Christians never get angry. I’m always angry. Therefore I can never be a Christian!”

That night she was freed from 20 years of anguish and received assurance of her salvation. She was indeed a Christian because she had received Jesus as her Savior.

Anger is amoral; that is, of itself it is neither right nor wrong. It’s what we do with it and how we handle it that matters. The Bible actually says, “In your anger do not sin,”1 or as an older translation says, “Be angry—sin not.”

Anger itself (not rage, hostility or bitterness) is a God-given emotion. Its purpose is to fight evil and right wrongs. This is how Florence Nightingale used her anger. She was angry at the way wounded soldiers were being badly mistreated, so she did something about it. We, too, are meant to use our anger in creative ways.

The reality is that everybody gets angry at some time or another. Some people bury and deny theirs, while others lash out and hurt others. Neither of these is healthy nor Christian.

When expressing anger we need to own it as our own, and remember that the biblical principle is to speak the truth in love. One way to do this is to say something like, “I know my feelings are my responsibility, but I feel angry and need to talk to you about such and such.”

Never say to a person, “You make me angry.” This is because nobody can make us angry without our permission. All they do is trigger our anger but the anger is always ours.

Unfortunately, when we have a lot of bottled up anger or anger from the past that has never been resolved, our anger button can get triggered real easy and we overreact. As I’ve said many times, what the other person does to me is their issue. How I feel and react is always my responsibility—but to the degree that I overreact, that is totally my problem.

For healthy, intimate relationships it is imperative that we learn to identify our feelings—positive and negative—to be honest about them, and learn how to handle them in creative, rather than destructive, ways.

As the Bible teaches, “If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly, for when you are angry [and don't resolve it] you give a mighty foothold to the devil.”2

For more information on anger and how to handling it creatively, click on “Taming Your Anger” at: http://tinyurl.com/tame-anger.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the gift of feelings. Please help me to be in touch with all of mine, be honest with them and, when expressing them, help me to always speak the truth in love. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 4:26 (NIV).

2. Ephesians 4:25-27 (TLB) (NLT).

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Confessing Other’s Sins

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“Therefore confess your sins [and faults] to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”1

Michael Josephson of Character Counts was addressing a group of journalists regarding journalistic ethics. He “posed the question, ‘When is it proper for a journalist to report about the private life of a public official?’

“Jack Anderson, a well-known investigative columnist, replied: ‘I don’t think we should report on the private behavior of a politician unless it’s relevant to his job.’ Then he added, ‘but we don’t always follow our own tests.’

“I asked him to explain and he said: ‘A few years ago, a woman came into my office and gave me an airtight affidavit that the mayor of Tucson had bit her on the thigh. Now, I didn’t think this was too relevant to his job, but some stories are too good to pass up.’”2

In this political mayhem going on in the U.S. at this time, between competing politicians attacking each other, and considerable biased media, there are many times when I feel like throwing up. One wonders if there are any ethics.

I think there ought to be a strict rule that governs all media that says, “No politician or journalist (or anybody else) is allowed to confess anybody else’s sins and failures publicly, before confessing his or her own publicly.” Zero chance of this ever happening.

Sad to say, far too many of those who call ourselves Christians don’t do too much better. We can be quick to confess others’ sins while hiding our own. The Bible tells us to confess our sins to each other . . . not to confess others’ sins to each other. There’s another name for this. It’s gossip. The Bible condemns it.

When it comes to Christian growth groups, rule number one is, “Confess nobody’s sins but your own. Period.” True, in life there are times when a leader’s behavior needs to be confronted, but before we do it, let’s make sure our own life is squeaky clean, that our own sins are confessed and resolved, and that our life is right with God.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please deliver me from the sin of gossip. Help me to see my own sins and faults, confess these to a trusted friend and to you, and with your help overcome these. And help me always to live and abide by Christian ethics. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 5:16 (NIV).

2. Josephson, Michael, Character Counts, 553.1, http://charactercounts.org/michael/the_nature_of_character/.

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Boundaries: What Part of NO Don’t You Understand?

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“Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.”1

A Daily Encounter reader writes in response to one of our messages on being peacemakers: “As you know, meaningful relationships require boundaries. Sometimes this means letting the other person know you are offended even if they do not react the way you might wish. At times keeping your boundaries may even mean terminating an unhealthy relationship.

“But what about when the relationship is one you cannot terminate, say with a parent, spouse, or other family member who is also a Christian? I am not speaking of blatant abuse situations but the gray areas in which a lot of people, including myself, often find ourselves. What about when parents have deep unresolved anger and hurt which they will not confront and resolve, so they wind up projecting it onto their children—including their adult children?

“So where is the line? How do you honor your parents and keep your boundaries?”

True, the Bible does say we are to honor and obey our parents, but it never says that we are to accept everything they, or anybody else, do to us, or ask us to do.

Meekness isn’t weakness. Jesus, of course, is the prime example of one who had healthy boundaries. He didn’t allow anyone to do anything to him without his permission, nor did he always meet the expectations of his parents. And he always confronted evil and wrongdoing.

So, while we are also told in the Bible to obey our parents and our leaders, when they, or anyone else, are abusive, evil, or do wrong, the higher law for us to follow is the law of God—and that is always to do the right thing. At times this will require tough love and saying “no” to anyone who would mistreat or abuse us, and who are being boundary busters with us.

When Peter and the other apostles were commanded by the religious leaders not to preach about Jesus, Peter said, “We ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). And they kept preaching.

And think how Jesus handled the religious Pharisees and those who abused the house of God (the temple) and were ripping off the poor. He drove them out of the temple with a whip and called them a brood of vipers!

If we ask ourselves the question, “What would Jesus do?” in every situation in which we find ourselves and could discern the correct answer, we would know what to do. And then we would need to ask him for the courage to help us to do it.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for Jesus who is the prime example for us to follow in every situation . . . whether warm and compassionate or angry at evil. Please help me to know what you would do in every confusing situation in which I find myself—and please give me the courage to do that without being controlled by false guilt or what others might think of me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus in Matthew 21:12 (NIV).

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