Special words from the heart for
Valentine’s Day (February 14) and Special Occasions … Poems by Dick Innes, author of Daily Encounter.
To see on the web click HERE.
Love ever gives, forgives, outlives,
And ever stands with open hands,
For this is love’s prerogative,
To give, and give, and give.
John Deane
Click HERE to See, read the words and to ORDER
“Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.”1
In continuing our two-part series on handling stress remember also what René Dubos said, “What happens in the mind of man is always reflected in the disease of his body.”
The first four steps for turning stress into success are: (1) Realize that some stress is helpful; (2) Be aware that stress is only troublesome when it continues for too long or if there is too much of it; (3) Recognize symptoms as early as possible; and (4) Identify causes. The fifth step in turning stress into success is: Seek a practical cure.
1. The starting point to turn stress into success is to lessen your load. Eighty percent of the cure can come out of writing down all your cares and responsibilities in order of priority, then eliminating the least important.
2. Remember that Superman and Superwoman exist only in comics and films. Everybody has a breaking point, so recognize yours and call a halt before you reach your limit.
3. With stress comes pent-up feelings. Get them “off your chest” by sharing them with a trusted friend or counselor. This of itself can bring immediate relief and helps you to think and plan more objectively.
4. Stop fighting situations that can’t be changed. As one father told his impatient teenager, “If you would only realize and accept the fact that life is a struggle, things would be so much easier for you.” Learning to live with and get on top of struggles is what helps us grow and mature.
5. Try to avoid making too many major life changes during the course of a single year.
6. If you hold resentment towards another person, resolve your differences right away. Never “let the sun go down while you are still angry.”2
7. Make time for rest and relaxation. Learn to “come apart and rest a while before you come apart.”
8. Watch your diet and eating habits. When under stress we tend to overeat—especially junk food which increases stress. A balanced diet of proteins, vitamins, and fiber while also eliminating white sugar, caffeine, too much fat, alcohol and nicotine is essential for lowering stress and its effects.
9. Be sure to get plenty of physical exercise. This keeps you healthier and helps burn up excess adrenaline caused by stress and its accompanying anxiety.
10. The ultimate answer to turning stress into success is to learn to trust God and live in harmony with his will for your daily life. Read again the words in today’s Bible verse above.
God’s peace comes through accepting and trusting to God those circumstances that can’t be changed, however difficult they may be. Perhaps this is what Christ meant when he spoke of taking up our cross daily and following him. Certainly he fully accepted his cross and trusted his situation to God and thereby was totally vindicated.
And so with us. If we take responsibility to do what we can to lessen our stress load and then, like Christ, take up our cross and daily commit and trust our life and way to God, we too will turn our stress into success, knowing that, in the words of the poet:
‘Tis not the softer things of life
Which stimulate man’s will to strive;
But bleak adversity and strife
Do most to keep man’s will alive.
O’er rose-strewn paths the weaklings creep,
But brave hearts dare to climb the steep.3
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please ‘give me the courage to change the things I can change, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.’ And again, help me to trust my life to you in every situation in which I find myself. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1. Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT).
2. Ephesians 4:26 (NIV).
3. Author Unknown
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“A calm and undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body, but envy, jealousy, and wrath are like rottenness of the bones.”1
A “friend” invoices you for considerably more than his original quote. A family member takes seriously ill and is in the hospital for months. Responsibilities and expenses soar. The result? Stress!
I know because these things all happened to me in the course of a single year. Stress is a normal part of contemporary living. Ignore it and it will take years off your life. As Francis Ford Coppola said in The Godfather movie, “When the mind is stressed, the body cries out.” However, if we deal with our stress creatively, we can turn our stress into success. How can we do this?
First. Realize that some stress is helpful. It provides motivation. For instance, if it weren’t for the stress of needing to eat and having to pay our bills, we may not want to go to work.
Second. Be aware that stress is only troublesome when it continues for too long or if there is too much of it.
I read about a ten-ton bridge that had been serving a community very well for over fifty years. During the course of those years it had carried millions of tons of weight. But one day the driver of a logging truck ignored the ten-ton load limit sign. The bridge collapsed. Life’s like that. All of us can carry our “load limit” day after day, year after year, but only one load at a time. Overload us and we collapse too.
Many readers will be familiar with the research Thomas Holmes has done on stress. He found that too much change at one time was the greatest cause of stress. An accumulation of 300 or more “life changing units” in any one year may mean an overload of more stress than an individual can carry. On his scale, death of a spouse equals 100 units, divorce 73, marital separation 65, marriage 50, and so on. (See the link to a “Personal Stress Test” at end.)
Third. The next step in turning stress into success is to recognize symptoms as early as possible.
Writing in Eternity magazine some time ago Fred Stansberry talks about “stress-related diseases such as cancer, arthritis, heart and respiratory diseases, migraines, allergies and a host of other psychological and physiological dysfunctions which are increasing at an alarming rate in our Western culture.”
Other symptoms of stress have been listed as, “tense muscles, sore neck, shoulders and back, insomnia, fatigue, boredom, depression, listlessness, dullness, lack of interest, drinking too much, eating too much or too little, diarrhea, cramps, flatulence, constipation, palpitations—heart skip, phobias, twitches, restlessness and itching.”
Fourth. Identify causes. As already mentioned change is one of the chief causes of stress. An accumulation of life’s everyday annoyances can also build up a significant stress level—perhaps even more than one single traumatic event. As the old saying puts it: “It’s the little things that bother us / and put us on the rack / you can sit upon a mountain / but you can’t sit on a tack.”
Whatever the cause of your stress is, be sure to identify it so you will be in a position to do something about it.
(To be continued)
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me the wisdom to know what I can do about my stressful situations, and the good sense to do it. And help me to trust my life to you in every situation in which I find myself. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
NOTE: See “A Personal Stress Test” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/stress_test.php.
1. Proverbs 14:30 (AMP).
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“Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.”1
Here’s a riddle I recently read: “Five frogs sat on a log. Four decided to jump off. How many frogs left on the log?”
There were two brothers in Georgia during the 1950s. One decided that, in opposition to the dominant culture of the day, he was going to participate in the formation of a desegregated community. The other worked as an attorney for a prominent law firm. Both were Christians and attended church regularly. As the community formed and social pressure forced the community into court proceedings, the one brother asked his attorney brother to help them with the legal work. The brother refused, saying that he could lose his job. He pressured his brother to help with a reminder that he was a Christian. The lawyer responded, “I will follow Jesus to his cross, but it is his cross. I have no need to be crucified.” To this his brother replied, “Then you are an admirer of Jesus, but not his disciple.”2
What was your answer to the riddle above? Was it one, two, three, or four? According to the person who posed the question the answer is five. “How come?” you ask. It’s because there is a world of difference between deciding and doing.
As a Buddhist monk once said, “To know and not to do is not yet to know.” To translate this into our Christian terminology I would put it this way: “To believe and not to act is not yet to believe for I only truly believe that which motivates me to action.”
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in appreciation for all you have done for me, please help me to be a faithful follower and disciple of Jesus, and not just an admirer or a hearer of your Word. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1. James 1:23-25 (NIV).
2. Brett Blair, Adapted from a sermon by Brian Stoffregen on http://www.esermons.com/.
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“In those days John the Baptist came preaching in the wilderness of Judea, and saying, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand!’ For this is he who was spoken of by the prophet Isaiah, saying: ‘The voice of one crying in the wilderness: “Prepare the way of the LORD; Make His paths straight.”‘”1
At the memorial service remembering the anniversary of the terrible abduction and murder of young Samantha Runnion, Bradley Scott, aged 4, had a question for Sheriff Mike Carona—the sheriff who was so emotionally involved in the capture of Samantha’s killer. Bradley asked the sheriff how he could go to heaven without dying.
“That’s an incredible question, pal,” Carona replied. “Sorry, I don’t have an answer.”2
I can vividly remember as a kid how I believed the way to heaven was by being good. I figured that if I did enough good things to outweigh the bad things I did, that would satisfy God and I would go to heaven.
Wrong. In today’s Scripture we read how John the Baptist was warning the people of ancient Israel that the long-promised Messiah (Jesus the Christ) was coming and to prepare El Camino Real (Spanish for the King’s highway or the Highway of the King) for him. This was all about Jesus’ first coming to die for our sins and that only through accepting him as our Savior and receiving his forgiveness could we get to heaven.
Today we, too, need to prepare El Camino Real for Jesus Christ’s second coming to earth. Jesus himself promised his disciples and followers that if he went away (back to Heaven), which he did, that he would return for all his true followers. One of these days, the heavenly trumpet will sound announcing the climax of mankind’s history with the coming again of Jesus, the Messiah, to take all his true followers to be with him in Heaven forever and ever.
I trust, dear reader, that you are safely on the heavenly Camino Real—the King’s Highway—knowing without a shadow of doubt that when Jesus comes, you will not be left behind, but on your way to Heaven to be with God for all eternity. Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”3
Note: To be sure you are on the King’s Highway read “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/christian.
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you have provided the Camino Real as mankind’s only way to Heaven which is via the cross of Jesus who died to save me from my sins. Help me to know without a shadow of doubt that I have accepted Jesus as my Savior and am safely on the Highway of the King, bound for Heaven. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1. Matthew 3:2-3 (NKJV).
2. The Orange Country Register, July 16, 2003, p. Local 2.
3. John 14:6 (NIV).
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“Therefore confess your sins [and faults] to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”1
When it comes to divine healing, there is never a shortage of quacks. There are faith-healers and there are fake-healers. And when it comes to some TV so-called evangelists, I sometimes wonder which ones are in the majority.
Among us ordinary people some claim that God still heals today. Others aren’t sure. Some agree that God can heal but they don’t believe he will heal them. Others say that if it’s God’s will, or if we have enough faith, God will heal us. And some say we are as sick as we choose to be. Personally, I like the saying I heard the other day: “Christians shouldn’t be any sicker than they ought to be.”
Regarding faith, as Jesus pointed out, we only need faith the size of a mustard seed to receive God’s blessings. Furthermore, if I understand it correctly, the faith of the faith-healer is just as necessary (perhaps even more so) as that of the one being prayed for. With fake-healers when a person they pray for (often prey on) isn’t healed, they pass the blame onto the sick person telling them they just didn’t have enough faith. Yeah, right!
What James is saying is tremendously important in that to be healed of many ills, we need to first confess our sins and faults. What the Bible taught 3,000 years ago and what modern medical science has confirmed is that “A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.”2
When we fail to resolve past hurts, bitterness, guilt, anger, hostility, a critical spirit and so on, and bury, repress, and deny these negative emotions, we never bury them dead but very much alive. Either we confront and resolve these issues in a creative way or they will express themselves in a destructive way. This can be through any or all of the following ways: (1) emotionally in depression, anxiety, fears, stress, and/or through impaired relationships; (2) spiritually in our relationship to God, feeling that he is distant or we get angry at him; and/or (3) through a physical illness. Regarding the latter, what we often don’t realize is that many of our ills are either caused by or greatly aggravated by these super-charged repressed negative emotions.
To be healed we need to follow God’s instructions and confess and resolve all of our sins, our negative spirit, and all of our super-charged repressed negative emotions—the things that make us sick. As Peter said, “Get rid of all malicious behavior and deceit. Don’t just pretend to be good! Be done with hypocrisy and jealousy and backstabbing.”3 Repressing these harmful emotions does not get rid of them.
Some illnesses are simply because we live in a sinful, broken world and are all affected. Other ills may be allowed by God to help us grow. The Apostle Paul had some ailment that he prayed three times for God to heal. God didn’t. Through this, Paul learned the efficiency of God’s grace which helped him to live with his problem.
Jesus said to those who were infirm, “Do you want to be made well?” As I’ve said before, wishes don’t wash. We need to genuinely want to be made well and accept personal responsibility for doing our part in the healing process. God doesn’t go against his own laws. We either resolve our sins and issues or suffer the natural consequences.
Speaking personally, in my youth I was taught that Christians should never be angry and that you can’t trust your feelings—so I learned early in life to repress and deny my pent-up negative emotions. By the time I was in my early 30s I suffered from painful bursitis in both shoulders and miserable hay-fever. But when I got into recovery and resolved my anger, hurts, grief and fears, I was healed. I haven’t suffered from either bursitis or hay-fever in years, for which I am very thankful.
Thus I believe it is true that “Christians shouldn’t be any sicker than we ought to be.”
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in all of my problems, conflicts or ills, please help me to understand the nature of my issue so that I will know if there is anything that I can and need to do to be healed. Help me not to settle for anything less than what you have for me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1. James 5:16 (NIV).
2. Proverbs 17:22 and 15:13 (NASB).
3. See 1 Peter 2:1-2 (NLT).
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“A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. A joyful heart makes a cheerful face, But when the heart is sad, the spirit is broken.”1
Another pretty little black and white bird that is found where I grew up is appropriately named a willie-wag-tail. This is because these birds continually wag their long, feathered tail. Like a dog with a wagging tail, willie-wag-tails project a bright, cheery spirit wherever they go and are a delight to see.
Have you ever noticed in a group of people when a certain person walks into the room, the entire group lights up with pleasure, obviously delighted to see the person who just walked in? And then there are those who, when they walk into a room full of people, the room goes quiet because of the negative vibes that person projects.
In light of today’s and the previous two Daily Encounters, the question to ask myself is this: “Am I a wheel-kicker with a negative, critical attitude looking for pegs to hang my anger on; a magpie that, when it pecks at others, is projecting a reflection of his or her own self-image; or am I a willie-wag-tail projecting an attitude of joy and contentment wherever I go?”
“If it’s going to be, it’s up to me”—regardless of my past. I can choose to stay as I am and blame my parents, society, God or the devil for the type of person I am and the attitude I have. Or with God’s help I can choose to overcome my past, grow towards wholeness, and become the person God wants me to be—thereby allowing his love, peace and joy to be reflected by me in some way to every life I touch.
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you have a wonderful plan for my life—not only to save me for all eternity, but also to make me whole, so that my life will reflect your glory, and bring ‘Son-shine’ into the life of others everywhere I go. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1. Proverbs 17:22 and 15:13 (NASB).
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“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word [God's Word, the Bible] but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”1
Yesterday we talked about wheel-kickers. This reminds me of an attractive black and white bird (that is found where I grew up), called a magpie. Magpies are a little bigger than a pigeon and are extremely protective of their young. If you come too close to a mother magpie’s nest, you’d better watch out for your head as these birds with their long, sharp beak are just as likely to dive at you.
Magpies also have a strange but amusing habit. They spend seemingly tireless effort in repeatedly jumping into and pecking at their own reflection in the shiny hub caps of cars … never realizing that they are pecking at their own image.
Some people are kind of like that. When we habitually peck at, put down, and criticize others, we are reflecting an image of ourselves. Or, as the old saying goes, when we point a finger at others, we are pointing four fingers back at ourselves. Pity we can’t see it—greater pity that we don’t want to see it. It’s so much easier to play the blame-game and project our problems onto others than to accept the fact that we are the problem. And remember, when we play the blame-game, we will “be-lame.”
If we truly want to grow, become more whole and mature, we can start by looking at our attitude towards and treatment of others. If we have a critical spirit, an ongoing negative attitude, and repeated conflict with others, we can be certain that both the problem and the cure lie within ourselves.
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, rather than ‘pecking at others’ help me to see myself in your Word and, not forgetting what I see and, with your help, confront and resolve my issues so that I become more and more like Jesus in every way. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1. James 1:22-24 (NIV).
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“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”1
Wheel-kickers—we’ve probably all seen them. Ask any used car salesman about them. Wheel-kickers are a pain in the neck and a thorn in the flesh of the salesperson. They go from car to car; first they kick the front wheels, then they kick the back ones. Next they want to look under the hood and check the engine. But all they do is find fault: the wheels are rickety; the tires are no good; the engine is really bad. Wheel-kickers are on a witch-hunt looking for any fault they can find. And when they can’t find any legitimate faults, they make up some—but they never buy the car. They waste the salesman’s time and take him away from serving legitimate customers.
Wheel-kickers have a chip on their shoulder. They have a critical, mean spirit. Beneath it all they are angry people looking for a peg on which to hang their anger. They play the blame-game and never stop to look and see that they, and only they, are the cause of their negative, critical spirit. They rarely even realize who they are and what they are doing because they always justify their actions.
Wheel-kickers are not only seen in used-car lots. There are politician wheel-kickers who drive you crazy tearing down their opponents over absurd issues while ignoring and/or hiding their own self-serving motives and weaknesses. There are legalistic preacher wheel-kickers who condemn all churches but their own; parent wheel-kickers; spouse wheel-kickers; teenage wheel-kickers; business wheel-kickers; and everyday Dick and Jane wheel-kickers! Actually there are wheel-kickers in just about any field you wish to name.
Wheel-kickers are like that … when they are kicking other people’s wheels, they’re kicking the wrong person. What they need to be doing is giving themselves a swift kick in the seat of their own pants.
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, if by any chance I am a wheel-kicker, please help me to see the error of my ways and, with your help, do something about overcoming my negative, critical spirit. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1. Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV).
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“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”1
Michael Josephson tells about “an old legend … of a monastery in France well-known throughout Europe because of the extraordinary leadership of a man known only as Brother Leo. Several monks began a pilgrimage to visit Brother Leo to learn from him. Almost immediately the monks began to bicker as to who should do various chores.
“On the third day they met another monk who was also going to the monastery and he joined their party. This monk never complained or shirked a duty, and whenever the others would fight over a chore, he would gracefully volunteer and simply do it himself. By the last day the other monks were following his example, and they worked together smoothly.
“When they reached the monastery and asked to see Brother Leo, the man who greeted them laughed. ‘But our brother is among you!’ And he pointed to the fellow who had joined them late in the trip.”2
Not all, by any means, but unfortunately many today who want to be leaders—be it in the church, the community, politics, or in the business world—want it for the wrong reason. They want the position for attention, prestige, prominence, control, money, or to manipulate for power to push their particular brand of product, belief, or philosophy (be it good or bad), or for other varied false motives.
There is an urgent need today for leaders—the kind modeled by Brother Leo—and more importantly, the kind modeled by Jesus who came to serve and to give of himself.3 His motive was loving concern for others. It’s called “servant leadership.” This type of leader leads by example and not by command or demand.
And as Josephson said, “Can you imagine how much better things would be if more politicians, educators and business executives saw themselves as servant leaders?” To which I would add preachers, teachers and, most important of all, to be modeled in the home by we men who call ourselves fathers.
Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be a servant leader in whatever capacity I find myself, and with your help, always strive to be like Jesus in everything I do. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”
1. Romans 12:10 (NIV).
2. Michael Josephson, Character Counts (313.3). http://www.charactercounts.org/.
3. See Philippians 2:6-8.
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