To Be a Man—A Message to My Sons

“You children must always obey your parents, for this is what pleases the Lord. Fathers, don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying.”1

When you can dream beyond today
and rise above your fears and doubts;
When you can conquer every trial
that comes to those who dare
to climb the highest heights;
When you can keep on getting up each
time you’ve failed…or been knocked down;
When you can walk through the
fires of criticism, and disregard
the jibes of jealous lesser men;
When you can see your greatest strength
lies in your faith and gentleness. . .
your greatest courage in admitting
your faults, and with God’s help
strive to overcome them;
When you can accept responsibility
for resolving all your hurts and break
the chain from generations past;
When you can know a father’s love
and feel with all your heart;
When you can love yourself, others,
and God more than earthly gain
or fame, and recognition, you will,
my son, be then a man –
and, indeed, a great man at that.2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please grant that I will so live that my life will model the kind of father and man you want me to be so that my sons, seeing your love in me, will want the same for themselves. And please forgive me for where I have failed to so be. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

Note: This poem by Dick is available, beautifully printed with a landscape photo. See and order from: http://tinyurl.com/392ak6.

1. Colossians 3:20-21 (NLT).

2. “To Be a Man.” © Copyright 2001 by Dick Innes.

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I Hate Baloney

“For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: ‘If a man will not work, he shall not eat.’”1

You may have read about the man, a construction worker who took a sandwich out of his lunch bag, looked at it and threw it on the ground, yelling, “Baloney again! I hate baloney.” A coworker said, “If you hate baloney so much, just ask your wife to make you something else.” The man replied, “That’s the problem. My wife didn’t make the sandwich. I did.”

Whether this story is true or not, doesn’t really matter. It’s a great parable.

As Michael Josephson in Character Counts said, “Lots of people continually make their own baloney sandwiches and then act as victims when it’s time to eat them. It’s like the man who killed his parents and had the audacity to demand mercy because he was an orphan.”

Or like the overweight man who kept eating hamburgers and blamed and wanted to sue MacDonald’s, and three other hamburger chains for contributing to his obesity. And like the lady who sued a store because she fell over an unruly child and hurt herself—and the unruly kid in question was her own child! The tragedy was she won the case and was awarded something like $700,000! We’ve gone sue crazy in this part of the world where I live and much, if not most, of it is because of gross irresponsibility and pure greed—wanting the rewards of hard work at someone else’s expense.

I realize it can be extremely difficult (and sometimes impossible) in tough economical times to get work, but if work—any kind of work—is available and I don’t want to work, nobody, including the government, is responsible for paying me or feeding me … neither are my parents…nor is society. As Paul implied, if I CAN get any kind of a job but don’t want to work or do so-called menial work, then I don’t deserve to eat. Let me add, I’ve done some pretty menial work in my time—working as many as three jobs at once in the summer break and part-time through the school year to put myself through college. Years later, I’m still working a second part-time job to supplement my ministry income.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, if in any way I’m acting irresponsibly and trying to get others to do for me what I can and need to do for myself, help me to confess up and accept personal responsibility. And if I’m supporting an irresponsible child or person, help me to wake up and motivate him/her to grow up. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 2 Thessalonians 3:10 (NIV).

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The Positive Side of No

“But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.”1

Yesterday the Apostle Paul was telling us that we need to “carry each other’s burdens,” and today, a few verses later, he’s telling us that each person needs to carry his own load. Sure sounds contradictory … at least on the surface.

Actually, in yesterday’s instruction, the word for burden in the original language applied to a load or burden that was too heavy for one person to carry alone. The word for “load” in today’s Scripture verse means a load that one is quite capable of carrying himself.

Yes, we do need to help one another in times of need when one’s burden is too heavy to carry alone, but there are times when helping to carry another person’s load when he or she should be carrying it alone is not helpful.

These are the times when we need to say no, and it applies to a very positive action. For instance, there are some people who are takers. They take all they can get and give little if anything in return. They are self-centered and selfish. To do for them what they can and need to do for themselves is not loving or helping, but hurting them. It keeps us weak and reinforces their laziness and selfishness.

These people are so used to getting (manipulating to get) their own way that they don’t like taking no for an answer. Chances are they will try to make you feel guilty when you say no. If they do, a good answer is a line from the country-western song that says rather eloquently, “What part of no don’t you understand? … I’ll be glad to explain!”

Remember, too, we don’t need to justify ourselves when we say no. We just need to take a page out of Jesus’ book: “Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Your word is enough.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me the wisdom to know if and when I am being used and the courage to say no. And when another pressures me to do something wrong, again give me the courage to say, ‘No, I won’t.’ Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

Note: For further help read, “Overcoming Codependency,” at: http://tinyurl.com/8p4t6

1. Galatians 6:4-5 (NKJV).

2. Matthew 5:37 (NLT).

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He’s Not Heavy—He’s My Brother

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”1

You may have read how “when Sadhu Sundar Singh and a companion were traveling through a pass high in the Himalayan Mountains. At one point they came across a body lying in the snow. Sundar Singh wished to stop and help the unfortunate man, but his companion refused, saying, ‘We shall lose our lives if we burden ourselves with him.’

“But Sundar Singh would not think of leaving the man to die in the ice and snow. As his companion made his farewell, Sundar Singh lifted the poor traveler onto his back. With great exertion on his part, he bore the man onward, but gradually the heat from Singh’s body began to warm up the beleaguered frozen fellow, and he revived. Soon both were walking together side by side. Catching up with his former companion, they found him dead—frozen by the cold.

“In the case of Sundar Singh, he was willing to lose his life on behalf of another, and in the process, found it; but in the case of his companion who sought only his own well-being, he only lost it.”2

As the caption of the painting (housed at Girls and Boys Town National Headquarters in Nebraska) of the “Two Brothers” commissioned by Father Flanagan back in 1943, and copied from the original statue done in sandstone, says, “He ain’t heavy, Father … he’s m’ brother.”

When we treat a needy person who crosses our path as our brother (or sister), the rewards of carrying them until they can get on their own two feet will far outweigh the burden of the load.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to treat each person you bring into my life as a brother and/or sister and be willing to help them when they need a helping hand, to help lift their spirit when they need an encouraging word, and to help carry their load when it is too heavy for them to bear alone—as you have done for me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Galatians 6:2 (NIV).

2. Source Unknown

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Soar with the Eagles

“But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”1

Did you know that an eagle knows when the storm is approaching long before it breaks? The eagle will fly to some high spot and wait for the winds to come.

When the storm hits, it sets its wings so that the wind will pick it up and lift it above the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is soaring above it. The eagle doesn’t escape the storm; it simply uses the storm to lift it higher. It rises on the winds that bring the storm.

When the storms of life come upon us—and all of us will experience them—it may not be easy but we can rise above them by setting our minds and our belief in Jesus, our God—and daily committing and trusting our life and way to Him. The storms do not have to overcome us. We can allow God’s power to lift us above them. God enables us to ride the winds of the storm that bring sickness, tragedy, failure and disappointment in our lives. Remember, it is not the burdens of life that weigh us down, but rather, how we handle them.2

As God’s Word says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”3 Admittedly, this can take time.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to always hope and trust in you so that, when the storms of life rage around me, I will be able to soar like the eagle above the turbulence and become a better, stronger and calmer Christian as a result. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

Note: For additional help read “Lessons from Suffering” at: http://tinyurl.com/exuyw

1. Isaiah 40:31 (NIV).

2. Today’s Daily Encounter was submitted by Dick Nichol who has since lost his wife through cancer. Author of the Eagle story unknown.

3. Romans 8:28 (NIV).

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Resolution or Repetition

“When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, ‘Do you want to get well [made whole]?’”1

A Daily Encounter reader whom I will call Janice wrote, “I am at my wit’s end, please I need your help. I was sexually abused by a family member from the age of 6 years to 13 years old and then he died. I was always the child who was either fighting with the neighbors, my brother or sisters, and this led to getting a thrashing with a belt on many a night. I fell pregnant at the age of 18, a year out of school, and got married ….”

Janice’s marriage was a disaster—with abuse, rejection, affairs. She was divorced … remarried … another disaster … divorced again … married again … another disaster … another divorce … same man only with different names.

While Janice’s story is extreme, she is not alone. I have taught in divorce and grief recovery workshops over the past decade-and-a-half and have seen too many singles repeat the same mistake over and over.

As I said to Janice (and have written many times), what we don’t resolve we are destined to repeat. We have two choices—either resolution or repetition.

We need to realize that we are basically attracted to other people (especially romantically) on the basis of who we are. The one I am attracted to is a match of me in that “the bumps on my head match the holes in her head.” All too soon I begin to see the holes in her head, but fail to see the bumps on mine!

Because Janice was abused as a child and a teenager, she is drawn to abusive men—in an unconscious attempt to “make things right this time.” It never works.

As painful as it is to admit, we are as sick (or as healthy) as the people we are attracted to. Until we admit this and look at the bumps/holes on/in our head and quit blaming our partner for our relational difficulties, and get into a healthy recovery program, chances are that we will continue to keep repeating the same mistakes.

The important thing to realize is not to look for the right partner but to become the right partner, for only happy, healthy people find happy, healthy partners. Furthermore, only to the degree that we are made whole will our lifestyle, actions, attitudes, and relationships become wholesome. Realize too, that while God wants us to be made whole, he usually works through others to do this. We were damaged in damaging relationships and find healing in healing relationships.

If you (or someone you know) can identify in some way with Janice, I urge you to seek wise counseling to help you face and resolve the issues in your life that are causing you to have failed or unsatisfying relationships. Life is too short to live in the constant pain of impaired and hurtful relationships. Such can not only destroy the quality of your life, but also take years off your life.

If you live in North America and need the name of a Christian counselor in your area, call the Narramore Christian Foundation for a counselor near you. The number is 1-800-477-5893 Ex 227. Tell Mary that Dick Innes suggested you call. Don’t delay. Make that call today. Or if you live overseas, you can receive free lay counseling with New Hope Counseling online at: http://www.newhopenow.org/.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to grow and become whole in every area of life so that my life and relationships will be truly wholesome. May I settle for nothing less. And please lead me to the counseling I need to help me so that my life will become a living testimony of your saving power and help. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 5:6 (NIV).

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Getting Rid of the Gunk

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”1

Ron Ledford reports how “each year thousands of tourists journey to Mount Rushmore National Memorial that is carved above the town of Keystone in southwestern South Dakota. It is there that the images of four of the great presidents of the United States are carved in granite.

“What the average tourist does not realize is the constant work that goes on to keep this giant sculpture from deteriorating. For one week in September workers go over this magnificent piece of art removing bird nests, pulling shrubs that have grown in the crevices in the rock. But the most important task of all is filling the hundreds of natural rock fissures that crisscross the executive figures. Workmen carefully fill these cracks with a special mixture of white granite dust, linseed oil, and white lead. If these fissures were left unattended, the autumn rains and melting snow could creep into the rock and freeze, thus shattering a president’s image.”2

Our life is like that too. We need to constantly be on guard against all things that in time, if not put away or cleaned up, could destroy our Christian walk and testimony, and eventually lead us far from God.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to be aware of anything in my life that is not pleasing to you and is harmful to me and my testimony for you. Let your Spirit convict me of these things and lead me to confession and ‘cleaning up my act.’ Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 4:30-31 (NIV).

2. Ron Ledford. Cited by King Duncan www.sermons.com.

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Little Things—Big Consequences

“And then he [Jesus] told them, ‘Go into all the world and preach [communicate] the Good News to everyone, everywhere.’”1

Ron Clarke of Tasmania, Australia, asks, “Have you ever been to the south coast of England? If not, you may have seen pictures of it or can remember the wartime song ‘There’ll Be Bluebirds Over the White Cliffs of Dover.’ These white cliffs are composed of chalk. Chalk is formed by the shells of very tiny animals called ‘Foraminifera’, meaning ‘hole-bearers’. They are so called because their small shells are pierced with little holes. Thousands of years ago there were trillions of these little creatures in the sea. As they died, their shells fell to the sea floor and formed a layer that gradually became thicker and thicker. Then followed an earthquake and pushed the layer upwards to form chalk cliffs.

“These cliffs are being destroyed by another small shellfish called a ‘Piddock’. This creature can twist its shell rather like an awl or drill bit to make holes in the chalk. They attack the cliffs just above high water, and as the seas pound against the cliffs, they are weakened and eventually collapse in a landslide. A naturalist, writing about Piddocks, said that Britain is an island because of the work of Piddocks. Britain was once joined to the continent of Europe, and over thousands of years Piddocks have destroyed the chalk cliffs to form the English Channel.

“This piece of trivia highlights what great things [or destructive things] can be achieved by very tiny creatures, and how much can result from very little. It would have cost billions to excavate the English Channel, but the humble Piddock did it alone.”2

As we noted in yesterday’s Daily Encounter, we all have a part to play in God’s service—no matter how small that may be. Your and my contribution is all a part of God’s greater plan and a part of what he is doing in the world today. We can’t improve on God’s plan. The smartest thing to do is to get in on it. And a vital part of his plan, as Jesus commissioned each of us, is to “go into all the world and preach [communicate] the Good News to everyone, everywhere.”

And that starts right where we are by being as Christ to every life we touch … and by joining hands and hearts with those who are reaching the lost with the lifesaving gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I’m available. Please make me usable and use me to be as Christ to every life I touch, and be ready and prepared to share your plan of salvation as opportunities arise. And please help me to be sensitive to these opportunities. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

NOTE: Please join with us as a People Power for Jesus partner … there is no charge. For more information go to: www.actsweb.org/people_power. “When many people each do a little, together we can accomplish great things for God.”

1. Mark 16:15 (NASB).

2. Ron Clarke, www.pastornet.net.au/word4week.

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How to Please God

“He also who had received two talents came and said, ‘Lord, you delivered to me two talents; look, I have gained two more talents besides them.’ His lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’”1

In God’s economy there is a place of service for every single member of his family; that is, for every individual Christian in the church, or what the Apostle Paul called “the body of Christ.” Every one of us is equally important. As Paul said, “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’”2

And every one of us has at least one gift with which to serve God. The important thing is to know what your gifting is and put it to good use serving God … first at home … then in the church and Lord’s work … and in some way everywhere you go. For example, if you have the gift of encouragement, you can use that anywhere.

You are probably familiar with the words of Henry Van Dyke who said so simply yet so eloquently: “Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best.”

If you aren’t sure what your gifts are, ask yourself what is it that you like doing best and are good at doing? Or ask those who know you best, as they will see or sense what you are good at doing. Or you can take a spiritual gifts inventory such as is found at: http://www.fbchsv.org/biblestudy/gifts/gifts_inventory.html

Remember, too, that people are the “instruments” God uses to get his work done on earth and, like a doctor’s scalpel, the sharper the instrument, the more effective work God can do with the instrument. For example, if you have a desire to write, sing, teach, preach, or be a “butcher, baker or candlestick maker” then get the training necessary to be the best at what you like doing best. Then seek ways to use your gifts even if in seemingly humble ways to begin with. My job for several years as a young teenager was to collect and put away the hymn books in our small countrified church.

When we are faithful in the little things, God will lead us to bigger things if we so desire and are so gifted. Regardless, every responsibility is of equal importance in God’s service, and we will be rewarded, when Jesus comes, not according to our gifting but according to our faithfulness.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to know what my gifts are, get the training I need to sharpen them, and find a place where I can put these to best use in serving you—and thereby help make my world a better place in which to live. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Matthew 25:22-23 (NKJV).

2. 1 Corinthians 12:21 (NIV).

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A Room With No Way Out

“Now when Daniel learned that the decree had been published, he went home to his upstairs room where the windows opened toward Jerusalem. Three times a day he got down on his knees and prayed, giving thanks to his God, just as he had done before.”1

Many readers will know about the story of Daniel in the lion’s den, how several hundred years B.C. he was taken captive, along with most of the ancient Israelites, to Babylon—the city reported to be about 60 miles south of Baghdad in Iraq.

Because Daniel was a very able and trusted servant, King Darius planned to make him the second highest in command in Babylon. However, jealous lesser leaders, knowing that Daniel could not be faulted in any way, set a trap to have him destroyed by persuading the king to make a law “that anyone who prays to any god or man during the next thirty days, except to you, O king, shall be thrown into the lions’ den.”2

Daniel refused to stop praying to God. King Darius was greatly distressed but, because of the law, Daniel was thrown to the hungry lions with the king’s words: “May your God, whom you serve continually, rescue you!”

“Then the king returned to his palace and spent the night without eating …. And he could not sleep. At the first light of dawn, the king got up and hurried to the lions’ den. When he came near the den, he called to Daniel in an anguished voice, ‘Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually, been able to rescue you from the lions?’

“Daniel answered, ‘O king, live forever! My God sent his angel, and he shut the mouths of the lions….’

“The king was overjoyed and gave orders to lift Daniel out of the den. And when Daniel was lifted from the den, no wound was found on him, because he had trusted in his God.

At the king’s command, the men who had falsely accused Daniel were brought in and thrown into the lions’ den, along with their wives and children. And before they reached the floor of the den, the lions overpowered them and crushed all their bones.”3

Had Daniel gone “kicking and screaming” into the lion’s den because of this gross injustice, chances are he would have been torn to pieces before he hit bottom. But he didn’t. He trusted God fully in the midst of this frightening situation. However, before Daniel was delivered out of the lions’ den, he was delivered in it—a lesson that God wants each of us to learn in whatever situation we find ourselves.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to learn to trust you and be faithful to you, as Daniel did, no matter what adverse circumstances I happen to find myself in, knowing that my life will always be in your hands. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Daniel 6:10 (NIV).

2. Daniel 6: 7 (NIV).

3. Daniel 6:6-24 (NIV).

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