Monthly Archives: November 2008

False Fears

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“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”1

Business professors Gary Hamel and C.K. Prahalad wrote about an experiment with four monkeys. In their cage was placed a pole with a bunch of bananas suspended at the top. When one of the monkeys climbed the pole, just as he reached out to grasp hold of a banana, he was doused with a torrent of cold water. Squealing, he quickly scampered down the pole. The same thing happened to the three other monkeys. After several more attempts, they abandoned all hope of reaching the bananas.

The researchers then replaced one of the monkeys with another monkey, and as soon as the newcomer monkey began to climb the pole, the other three monkeys pulled him away. After several more attempts, he too gave up. A second one of the four original monkeys was replaced and the same thing happened to him. He, too, was pulled away from the pole when he attempted to climb it. In time all four of the original monkeys were replaced … none of whom dared climb the pole even though they never knew why and had never been doused with cold water.2

False fears, which may have had validity at one time but are no longer valid, are not only taught and learned by monkeys, but also by people. Such fears can be learned through an early traumatic experience—or learned from a parent—and be firmly programmed into our unconscious mind, and hold us back from becoming and doing all that God envisioned for us to be and do. For some people, irrational fears can be crippling. Only as we see and know the truth can we begin to be set free.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to confront all of my fears and see them for what they are. Help me to overcome them and be set free to become and do all that you planned for me to be and do. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

For help be sure to read the article, “Conquering Fear,” at: http://tinyurl.com/rhlho

1. John 8:32 (NIV).

2. From Failing Forward, by John C. Maxwell. Thomas Nelson Publishers.

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Turning Stress Into Success, Part II

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“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”1

To overcome stress, as we said yesterday, first realize that some stress is helpful. Second, be aware that stress is only troublesome when it continues for too long or if there is too much of it. And, third, recognize symptoms as early as possible.

Fourth. Identify causes. As already mentioned, change is one of the chief causes of stress. An accumulation of life’s everyday annoyances can also build up a significant stress level—perhaps even more than one single traumatic event. As the old saying puts it:

It’s the little things that bother us,
and put us on the rack;
you can sit upon a mountain,
but you can’t sit on a tack.

Whatever the cause of your stress is, identify it so you can do something about it.

Fifth. Seek a practical cure.

1. The starting point to turn stress into success is to lessen your load. Fifty percent of the cure can come from writing down all your cares and responsibilities in order of priority, then eliminating the least important.

2. Remember that Superman and Superwoman exist only in comic books and films. Everybody has a breaking point, so recognize yours and call a halt before you reach your limit.

3. With stress come pent-up feelings. Get them “off your chest” by sharing them with a trusted friend or counselor. This brings some immediate relief and helps you to think and plan more objectively.

4. Stop fighting situations that can’t be changed. As one father told his impatient teenager, “If you would only realize and accept the fact that life is a struggle, things would be so much easier for you.” Learning to live with and get on top of struggles is what helps us grow and mature.

5. Try to avoid making too many major life changes during the course of a single year.

6. If you hold resentment towards another person, resolve your difference right away. Never “let the sun go down while you are still angry.”2

7. Make time for rest and relaxation. Learn to “come apart and rest awhile before you come apart.”

8. Watch your diet and eating habits. When under stress we tend to overeat—especially junk food which increases stress. A balanced diet of proteins, vitamins, and fiber, without white sugar, caffeine, too much fat, alcohol and nicotine, is essential for lowering stress and its effects.

9. Get plenty of physical exercise. This keeps you healthier and helps burn up excess adrenaline caused by stress and its accompanying anxiety.

10. The ultimate answer to turning stress into success is to learn to trust God and live in harmony with his will for your daily life. As our Scripture verse for today says, “Don’t worry about anything, instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.”

God’s peace comes through accepting, and trusting to God, those circumstances that can’t be changed, however difficult they may be. Perhaps this is what Christ meant when he spoke of taking up our cross daily and following him. Certainly he fully accepted his cross and trusted his situation to God and thereby was totally vindicated.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, again today, I commit and trust my life and way to you. Please help me to live in harmony with the principles for daily living as found in your Word, the Bible. And help me to remember even in my darkest hours, that my times are in your hands and, like David, help me to trust and not be afraid. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

NOTE: “Test Your Level of Stress” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/stress_test.php

1. Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT).

2. See Ephesians 4:26 (NIV).

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Turning Stress Into Success, Part I

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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight [direct your paths].”1

A “friend” invoices you for considerably more than his original quote. A family member is taken seriously ill and is in the hospital for months. Responsibilities and expenses soar. At the same time, you’re in the middle of a major building project at your business for which you are responsible—and your loan falls through.

The result? Stress!

I know because these things all happened to me in the course of a single year. Stress is a normal part of contemporary living. We all have our share. Ignore it and it can take years off our lives. Accept it and deal with it creatively and we can turn our stress into success.

How can we do this?

First: Realize that some stress is helpful. It provides motivation. For instance, if it weren’t for the stress of having to pay our bills—and eat—we may not want to go to work.

Second: Be aware that stress is only troublesome when it continues for too long or if there is too much of it.

I read about a ten-ton-limit bridge that had been serving a community very well for over fifty years. During the course of those years it had carried millions of tons of weight. But one day the driver of a logging truck ignored the ten-ton load limit sign. The bridge collapsed. Life is like that. All of us can carry our ten-ton load day after day, year after year, but only one load at a time. Overload us and we collapse, too.

Most readers will probably be familiar with the research Thomas Holmes has done on stress. He found that too much change at one time was the greatest cause of stress. An accumulation of 300 or more “life changing units” in any one year may mean an overload of more stress than an individual can carry. On his scale, death of a spouse equals 100 units, divorce 73, marital separation 65, marriage 50, major changes in finances 38, and so on (see note below). So in tough times, try not to make unnecessary changes.

Third: Recognize symptoms as early as possible.

Writing in Eternity magazine (now out of publication) Fred Stansberry talked about “stress-related diseases such as cancer, arthritis, heart and respiratory diseases, migraines, allergies and a host of other psychological and physiological dysfunctions which are increasing at an alarming rate in our Western culture.”

Other symptoms of stress have been listed as, “tense muscles; sore neck, shoulders and back; insomnia, fatigue, boredom, depression, listlessness, dullness; lack of interest; drinking too much; eating too much or too little; diarrhea, cramps, flatulence, constipation; palpitations-heart-skip; phobias; twitches; restlessness and itching.”

To be continued…

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to do all I can to lessen my load and lower my stress level and learn to trust you in all situations—so that I can reasonably relax in the midst of the storms of my life. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

NOTE: “Test Your Level of Stress” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/stress_test.php

1. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV).

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Please Help Me-I Have a Problem

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“And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, ‘God be merciful to me a sinner.’”1

Years ago when I was doing a counselor training course, one of the instructors made the statement, “Whatever bothers you is your problem!”

“Hmmm,” I thought to myself, “that’s an interesting concept—never thought of that before.”

At the time I was going through a rough situation personally and was in despair about it. During the course of the training, I explained to my counselor about my predicament and he said, “That must make you angry.”

“No,” I replied, “I’m just hurt.” And he left me with the thought, “That must make you angry!”

Shortly after that I went for a long walk, thinking about, “That must make you angry.” Then the truth hit me like a bolt of lighting! “Whew,” I admitted to myself, “I am angry—very angry!”

I was never able to change the person whom I felt had rejected and hurt me so badly, but I was able to change me, and come to terms with my feelings (which I had learned to bury and deny at an early age), and resolve them. It also helped me to deal with the anger I had towards my father from whom I had been estranged for many years and resolve that impaired relationship. Fortunately, I was able to do this a few months before he died. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.

What others do to me may or may not be a problem, but how I react and feel is always my responsibility. However, to the degree that I overreact, that is always my problem.

It is true; whatever bothers me is my problem. This can be a hard pill to swallow, but until we accept this reality, we will continue to blame others for our feelings and possibly never resolve our hurts/anger or impaired relationships.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you for the people in my life whom you have used to confront me with truth and reality. They have been angels in disguise. Help me to always recognize them as such and use their insights to help me become a better, healthier, and more loving and accepting person. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 18:13 (KJV).

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Tigers in the Dark

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“In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free. The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper. I will look in triumph on my enemies.”1

I read recently how a well-known television circus show developed a Bengal tiger act that was performed live before a large audience. One evening, the tiger trainer went into the cage with several tigers to do a routine performance. The door was locked behind him. The spotlights highlighted the cage, the television cameras moved in close, and the audience watched in suspense as the trainer skillfully put the tigers through their paces.

In the middle of the performance, the worst possible fate befell the act: the power went out! For thirty long seconds the trainer was locked in with the tigers. In the darkness they could see him, but he could not see them. A whip and a small kitchen chair seemed meager protection under the circumstances. But he survived, and when the lights came on, he calmly finished the performance.

In an interview afterward, he was asked how he felt knowing the tigers could see him but that he could not see them. He first admitted the chilling fear of the situation, but pointed out that the tigers did not know that he could not see them. He said, “I just kept cracking my whip and talking to them until the lights came on. And they never knew I couldn’t see them as well as they could see me.”2

Do you ever feel caught in the dark with the “tigers of your heart” or circumstances that seem to be out of your control? I sure have. Two things I do in these situations. First, I keep quoting today’s Scripture, “The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” I’m sure David kept saying this when King Saul was out to kill him—and David couldn’t know where he was most of the time. Second, I ask God to confront me with the truth and reality of what I might in any way be contributing to the situation I am in.

It’s not until I pray for what I am contributing to “my dark nights of despair” that I see the light—and know exactly what I need to do to change my circumstances wherever this is possible, or at least to overcome my tigers of fear.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that my life is in your hands and that you are always with me in my dark days of despair just as you are in my happy days of rejoicing. Thank you, too, for your promise that you will never leave me nor forsake me. Help me to always remember this, and trust my life to you, and be willing to face what I am contributing to my situation, change what I can change, and learn to accept joyfully what I cannot change. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

For further help read: “Conquering Fear” at: http://tinyurl.com/rhlho

1. Psalm 118:5-7 (NIV).

2. Thomas Lane Butts, cited on KneEmail, http://www.oakhillcoc.org.

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Long Suffering Vs. Suffering Long

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“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance.”1

One man, whom I shall call Jerry, was divorced by his wife twenty years ago. She has long since been remarried to another man. But Jerry is still living under the delusion that she will come back to him.

Instead of growing through longsuffering, Jerry is groaning through suffering long … which is a thief of peace and happiness and has stopped him from getting on with his life (and growing)—and makes this kind of suffering worse than useless.

God’s purpose for longsuffering is to help us grow, to learn patience, and become better, healthier, and more peaceful and fulfilled persons.

Suffering long is when we can change our circumstances (or at least our attitude) but keep doing what we’ve always done and expect different results. But as the old saying goes, “Nothing changes if nothing changes.”

Unfortunately, when we are blind to the reality of what we are contributing to the situation we are in and keep hoping for change, too often we do more of the same of what we’ve been doing all along. And then as we remain in our pain, we play the excuse-game, the rationalization-game, and/or the blame-game … blaming others, God or the devil for our misfortunes and miseries—but fail to take personal responsibility for changing ourselves!

And how do I know? Been there—done that! I wish they would have taught me this lesson in Sunday School—or even in college!

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in the words of another, ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.’ Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV).

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What Might Have Been

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“Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.”1

A few years ago one of my best friends was cut down in the prime of life. He was only forty-something. His doctors gave him only a matter of months to live. His passing was a shock and a sad loss for many of us. One of the last things my friend said to me before he died was how much he regretted not being able to do some important things he planned on doing. “And now it is too late,” he said.

As John Greenleaf Whittier said, “Some of our most painful regrets are for opportunities lost.”

Another person who will know the tragedy of opportunity lost was King Agrippa who said to the Apostle Paul when he shared the gospel with him, “You almost persuade me to become a Christian.”2 But King Agrippa, as far as we know never did accept Jesus as his Savior, and if not, is lost forever. And all the regrets forever will never ever give him that opportunity again.

You and I, too, will be lost forever if we fail to accept God’s pardon for sins forgiven and his gift of eternal life. None of us has any guarantee of tomorrow, and as God’s Word reminds us, “Now is the accepted time; now is the day of salvation.” Remember too that opportunity comes to pass—not to pause.

As William Shakespeare so eloquently expressed it:

There is a tide in the affairs of men,
Which taken at the flood leads on to fortune.
Omitted, all the voyage of their life
is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat;
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.”

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen. The saddest are these: It might have been!”

If you have never accepted God’s free pardon for all your sins by accepting Jesus as your Savior, or are not sure you have done that, please do it today. Don’t wait until tomorrow for tomorrow may be too late. For help go to http://tinyurl.com/8glq9 for the article. “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian.” Don’t be an almost-persuaded-might-have-been person.

And if there is some unfinished business you’ve been putting off doing for some time, don’t put it off any longer. Do it today. And if there is someone you need to call or contact and let them know you love and appreciate them, and haven’t yet told them, do it today.

Suggested prayer, “Dear God, thank you for another reminder of the things I need to take care of today. With your help I make a commitment to do today what I need to do. If I have never accepted Jesus as my Savior, I will do that right now.* Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

*Again, for help to accept Jesus as your Savior be sure to read: “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious,” at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9

1. 2 Corinthians 6:2 (KJV).

2. Acts 26:28 (NKJV).

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When God Lets You Down

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Jesus said, “And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.”1

Dr. Leslie Weatherhead, a well-known preacher in the twentieth century, said that once, when he was a high school student, he had a very difficult examination. But he had discovered that verse, “And whatever you ask in my name, that will I do….”

Weatherhead believed that verse meant that all he had to do was ask and he would pass the exam. He told God he was believing his promise, and that he wanted a good grade. The next day young Weatherhead took the examination, but when the grades were in, he had failed. He was disillusioned. He rebelled and almost lost his faith. He came to the conclusion that the promises of the Bible were not good—all because God had not granted his wish for a good grade.

The next year he repeated that course. He worked hard, and passed. This time he decided that he didn’t need God—that he could get along by himself.

After some years had passed, Dr Weatherhead came to understand that his own powers and abilities were in reality the power that God had given to him. He began to realize that God had already given him the power to pass the examination, but he had not used that power the first go around.2

I’m sure many of us could identify with Weatherhead in that we have, at times, wanted and expected God to do all sorts of things for us without any or sufficient effort on our part.

Fortunately, it doesn’t work that way. God is not codependent. He will do for us what we can’t do for ourselves. That’s why he sent Jesus to die for us because it is impossible for us to save ourselves. But God won’t do for us what we need to do for ourselves. If he did, he would be keeping us over-dependent and immature.

True, God feeds the sparrows, but he doesn’t throw the food into their nests.

Suggested prayer, “Dear God, help me to realize that you have already moved the heavens to come to earth to save me from my sins, but also that you won’t do for me what you have already equipped me to do for myself. Help me to remember that personal responsibility is my responsibility. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 14:13 (NKJV).

2. Rev. Richard J. Fairchild, “Our Desire and Our Growth.”

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God: A Bayer’s Aspirin?

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“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”1

I recall one lady who complained bitterly to me, saying in a mournful tone, “I can’t understand why God gave me such a terrible husband.”

“Who chose your husband?” I asked.

“God,” she said, totally convinced in her mind that he did.

There was nothing I could do to get this extremely unhappy woman to see that it wasn’t God who chose her husband, but it was she. With people like this it’s, “Don’t confuse me with the facts, my mind’s made up.” Or, as another saying goes, “A man (or woman) convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

As said before, unhappy people are attracted to other unhappy people and, if they marry, they have unhappy marriages. The opposite is also true in that happy people are attracted to happy people and when they marry, they have a much greater chance of having a happy marriage. It has little, if anything to do with God. It has to do with our facing our problems, resolving them, and growing up.

Unfortunately, some people, as John Powell describes them, treat God as if he were a giant Bayer’s aspirin pill with the prescription: “Take God three times a day and you won’t feel any pain.”

Not so. God will give us wisdom if we ask for it and guidance if we seek it, but when we want or even expect God to do for us what we need to do for ourselves and are responsible to do, we set ourselves up for disappointment with God, when in reality, we need to be disappointed in ourselves.

For those who say, “’Sorry, but that is the way I am … I was like this in the beginning, am now, and ever shall be …’ is a handy motto and delusion to have around if we don’t want to grow up.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be made whole so that my lifestyle, actions, attitudes, and relationships are responsible and wholesome. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV).

2. John Powell, Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am, p. 167.

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The Power of Imaging, Part III

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“Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”1

Faith is seeing what God wants us to do. Visualizing this adds wings to our faith. It is picturing in our mind’s eye what we believe God wants us to do. Besides helping us to achieve what seems an impossible thing for us to do, and to help in the healing process, it can also help in the following ways:

Imaging can help achieve goals.

When I first went to the city where I started the work of ACTS International, I was with another organization and was told by a key church leader (who happened to be a member of our board of directors and who had considerable control) that I’d better realize right from the start that I wouldn’t be able to do anything in this city because there wasn’t enough money here.

Amazing! This was the exact image this leader had in his mind—and undoubtedly that influenced other board members, and was why that organization had very little income even though they had been in operation for twenty years. I ended up moving out of this organization to commence the work of ACTS.

I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I never believed God called anyone to do anything that couldn’t be done! At the time, I’d never heard of the term “imaging,” but I began to formulate and write down specific goals, then see them as achieved. And then, with God’s help and guidance, I went to work to make it happen.

From a standpoint where there was an image or vision of not being able to do anything, a new image not only reached out across South Australia (where we began), but to all Australia, then to New Zealand, and then to North America. And now, via e-mail and the Internet, it is reaching out around the world.

The way we see and image what we want to see achieved makes all the difference in the world. In many ways what we see is what we get.

Imaging can change your life.

Regardless of your present circumstances, feelings or background, you, too, can change your life. You can do this by changing your self-image and by imaging what you want to become and do with your life.

That is the way most people achieve their goals. It’s the way we’ve built ACTS International. It was how I built my own home. It’s how I improved my education and do the work I do. And I still build things by first seeing and picturing them in my mind. I’m sure this is the way President John Kennedy achieved the goal of putting man on the moon in the 1960s. You can just imagine him looking up at the moon hundreds of times and “seeing” an American there long before it happened. Had he not visualized it in his mind, I doubt that it ever would have happened.

Don’t misunderstand me, there’s no magic in imaging, but it helps keep you working towards and focused on your goals. In realty, achieving worthwhile goals never comes easy. Besides, it’s one thing to dream dreams, but quite another to fulfill them. To do so, it takes God’s help plus, on our part, relentless effort, persistence, dedication, training, discipline, determination, patience, endurance, stick-to-itiveness, time, and faith.

The most important thing of all is to be certain that our goals are not only worthwhile, but also in harmony with the will of God. And then, with the added dimension of imaging, the dynamic of faith, and the power of prayer, we can be assured of achieving them. Remember, too, that another definition of faith is visualizing what God wants you to do. Among other things, God wants all of us to be made whole, to find fulfillment, to reach our potential, and to achieve something worthwhile with our lives.

So ask God today to give you an image of what he wants you to become and do. Begin to create that image in your mind right now. See it clearly. Write it down, and formulate a plan to fulfill it. Bring it to God every day, asking for his help to fulfill that which he wants you to become and do. And as long as you are committed to God’s goal and purpose for your life, you can be assured that he will help you to fulfill it.

Remember: “Faith is visualizing what God wants you to do!”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you have a plan and purpose for my life. Help me to know what that is, to hold it as a picture in my mind, and bring it to you every day for your help, direction, guidance, and provision. Show me how to fulfill this plan, and give me the courage and determination to never give up until your goal and purpose for my life is fulfilled. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Hebrews 11:6 (NIV).

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