Monthly Archives: February 2008

Are Non-Biblical Terms Valid?

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“There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living.”1

In response to a Daily Encounter on codependency a subscriber enquires, “What I’m wondering is, what led you to believe in co-dependency? The modern psychological term ‘codependence,’ the meaning of which is not an idea that I have ever found in Scripture. You say things like this a lot and so I’m only writing this wondering what led you to come to this belief/conclusion.”

Actually there are many terms we use today that are not found in the Bible. In fact you won’t find the word, Trinity, in the Scriptures but this truth is clearly taught. You won’t find anything about denominations either, or theological terms such as eschatology (the study of the end times), or homiletics (the study and art of preaching), or hermeneutics (the study and interpretation of the Scriptures), but these are all valid terms and biblical exercises. Furthermore, the word, Bible, isn’t in the Bible either.

Codependency, among other things, is short circuiting the logical consequences of somebody else’s self-destructive behavior. It is rescuing another from his or her lack of personal responsibility and mistaking need for love. It may look like love but it isn’t. It’s a way of trying to fix another’s problems by avoiding facing your own. It is keeping someone over-dependent on you instead of allowing them to take care of their own needs and becoming dependent on God. It’s neurotic.

While the Bible doesn’t use the word “codependency” a prime example of not being codependent is found in Jesus’ parable of the Prodigal Son who, as a young man, wanted to do his own thing so asked his father to give him his inheritance now. So the father gave his son his inheritance and let him go. We know how the story ended. The son blew his entire inheritance in riotous living. When he hit rock bottom, did his father send to rescue him? No. It was his hitting rock bottom that brought him to his senses.

It was very important that the father allowed him to bear the consequences of his behavior. Only when the son came to his senses and returned home with a contrite heart, confessing his waywardness, did the father forgive and accept him back into the family and home—a great example for all parents and the wives of alcoholic husbands. There comes a time when we need to let go of a loved one and stop protecting them from the consequences of their self-destructive behavior.

Keep in mind too, that the deeper meaning of Jesus’ parable is about God, our heavenly Father, not being codependent but, rather, allowing us to experience the consequences of irresponsible and reckless behavior to bring us to our senses and repentance.2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see if in any way I am being codependent and blocking the consequences of a loved one’s self-destructive behavior. Help me to let go of seeking to control this person, and overcome my problem of being codependent. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 15:11-13 (NIV).
2. See Luke 15:11-24.

Note: For additional help read, “Overcoming Codependency” athttp://tinyurl.com/8p4t6

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Witnessing Made Easy

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“How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, Who bring glad tidings of good things.”1

“Do you remember the Mercedes TV commercial a few years ago that showed a Mercedes crashing into a concrete wall during a safety test? An engineer in a white lab coat walks over after the crash and kneels down to examine the damage, which is minimal. A reporter then asks the engineer about Mercedes’ energy absorbing car body. After the engineer tells all about the unique design the reporter asks him why Mercedes doesn’t enforce their patent on the design, a design evidently copied by several other companies because of its success.

“The engineer then replied matter-of-factly, ‘Because some things in life are too important not to share.’ How true this is. There are many things in life that fall into this ‘too-important-not-to-share category.’ Advances in science, in medicine, in technology. But all of these pale in importance to that of sharing our faith.”2

As Billy Graham said, “I am convinced the greatest act of love we can ever perform for people is to tell them about God’s love for them in Christ.”

There are many ways we can do this. Here’s one very simple way. For example, whenever I eat at a restaurant, I always leave one of my Good News business witness cards with the tip. And whenever a suitable opportunity arises, without being pushy, I ask the person I am talking to if I can give him or her one of my cards. It is a very attractive card that invites people to visit one of our Good News websites. The site has many articles that speak to the felt needs of the average person—articles that deal with overcoming worry, stress, marriage, relationships, and the like.

And, by the way, speaking to an individual’s felt needs is the only known sure-fire way to get people to read any message. The website also has a highly visible link to the clear gospel message, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian … without having to be religious.” The general card I give out in the U.S. points to: www.GoodNewsfor.com/usa. (In time we will have them for other countries and in other languages as well.)

I’ve never had anyone ever refuse to accept one of these cards. They are attractively printed and are not in any way preachy. This is a very easy, attractive, and non-offensive way to witness even for the most timid person. If you live in the U.S., or have friends who live in the U.S., I encourage you to send for a package of 50 of the “Good News for USA” business witness cards to give to family, friends and contacts. They are only a web click away at: https://actscom.com/donate.php and are available for a donation, not only to cover the cost of printing and postage, but also to help support the building and maintaining of this gospel web outreach ministry.

It is true, the gospel message of Jesus Christ is far too important not to share. Please send today for a pack of Good News Business Witness cards so you, too, can be involved in what God is doing in the world today.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, I come to you with all my fears making myself available for you to use as a witness for Jesus Christ. Please use me to be ‘as Christ’ in some way to someone in need today, and give me the courage to share my Christian faith in a non-offensive and gracious way. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Romans 10:15 (NKJV).
2. Rev. Steve Jackson, Sermon: “Come and See.”

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Music, Music, Music!

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“Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord.”1

One of the biggest areas of conflict in today’s church is music. Older generation Christians tend to like the “good old hymns” while the younger generation lean more toward what Joy and I like to call “happy clappy” gospel songs. So whose music is the best for worship?

Allow me to answer in a roundabout way. A few years ago I had the opportunity to preach in the Sunday morning services at an Anglican (Episcopal) church in Perth, Western Australia. It was in the middle of winter and I was so cold that a doctor’s wife loaned me her overcoat. So here I am sitting on the front pew dressed in a woman’s overcoat waiting for the service to commence. The moment the congregation began to sing it hit me like a thunderbolt. “Wow,” I said to myself, “surely the presence of the Lord is in this place!”

When I got up to preach, never in my life had I experienced such incredible liberty with such an overwhelming sense of God’s presence.

Very interesting, too, that in that service was a professor from the University of Western Australia. This lady had recently emigrated from China where she grew up under Mao with the teaching that said there is no God. This was only the second time in her life she had ever been in a church. She told friends who were with me that when I was preaching, she saw me encircled by an aura of rainbow colored light. She also said she now knew that there was a God because she felt his presence so strongly in that service.

So what does this have to do with church music? Everything. It’s not the form of music that matters but the attitude of the heart of those who are singing. When preaching, I can pretty much tell on the first line of the first song whether or not it will be easy or hard to preach in that service because one can easily sense whether God is in the music or not. If God is not in the music, you can be certain his Spirit is not in the rest of the service.

So the question is, is the music from the heart as Paul stated in today’s Scripture? If not, it isn’t worship—no matter how talented the singers may be. To put it another way, is our music a sweet smelling savor to God as an act of genuine worship, or is it nothing more than an obnoxious effluvium as were some of the sacrifices in the Old Testament era where the sacrifices were merely ritualistic and not from the heart?

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me at all times to sing and make melody in my heart to you … whether alone at home or in a church worship service. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Ephesians 5:19 (NIV).

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Well, Well, Well

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“When Jesus noticed him [an invalid] lying there [helpless], knowing that he had already been a long time [thirty-eight years, in fact] in that condition, He said to him, ‘Do you want to become well? [Are you really in earnest about getting well?]‘”1

I have a friend who had polio when she was a child and was left with a physical handicap. Many had prayed for her healing but she was never healed. Well-meaning but insensitive Christians told her she didn’t have enough faith, or gave some other lame excuse. It left her feeling insecure for many years until she realized that God doesn’t heal everybody. I don’t know why. In this life we all suffer from ailments from time to time. Some people get healed and some don’t.

Having said this, I believe that many of us could be much healthier if we lived in harmony with biblical principles. In Old Testament times (before modern medicine) Jewish people were instructed by God not to eat certain foods. This was because these foods were disease riddled. In New Testament times God’s Word gives us two key principles for the healing of at least some sicknesses.

First, Jesus said to the invalid, “Do you want to become well?” Modern medicine has shown that those who truly want to get well are the ones most likely to do so. They take responsibility for their recovery even though it means a radical change of lifestyle. In other words, we need to want to get well badly enough that we will do whatever we can in order to get well.

I had another friend who had tried to quit smoking for years. He had been criticized for it and preached at about it. Nothing worked. He came to me hoping I might be able to help. After he shared his struggle with me I quietly asked, “Why do you need to smoke?” He gave me THE LOOK … mumbled a few incoherent words, turned around and walked away. I think Jim (not his real name) was looking for a quick fix to overcome his addiction and save his life. He didn’t want to look at possible causes … and died of lung cancer not too long after.

Second, many ills—not all by any means—or diseases are caused either by—or greatly aggravated by—unresolved personal issues that cause dis-ease. For example, the first symptom of super-charged repressed hostility might be death by heart attack. It is also well known that stress can be a killer. Stress can be caused by any number of pressures—some of which we may have no control over but many of which we do. For instance, unresolved guilt, illicit sex, being unfaithful in marriage, dishonesty in business, impaired relationships, etc., etc., can all cause big-time stress, which in turn causes dis-ease, and even early death.

The answer for healing of dis-ease caused by these stressors is also found in the Bible. It’s simple, though not easy: “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”2

Speaking personally, as I’ve shared before, I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and in my twenties suffered from painful bursitis in both shoulders and with wretched hay fever. When I found myself in a broken marriage and got into therapy, I discovered that I had an awful lot of buried grief and anger from childhood days—emotions that I had buried and was in denial about; but when I faced, confessed and expressed these “sins of the spirit” and resolved them, I was healed of both bursitis and hay fever.

God’s principles are not meant to take away our freedom but to give us freedom from many ills and problems. It’s our choice as to what we do about them. Do we really want to get well, or do we just wish to do so?

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that in your Word, the Bible, you give dynamic principles for wholesome living. Give me a hunger to know what your Word teaches and the good sense to live in harmony with your will so that I will be made well. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. John 5:6 (AB).
2. James 5:16 (NIV).

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Deadly Disease of Denial

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“The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.”1

I’ve worked with hurting people and taught in divorce recovery groups for a number of years. If you asked me what I thought might be the number one problem in so many of these situations, I would say, “Denial. And the second is like unto it—playing the blame game.”

Over and over I hear people say with variation on the theme: “My husband did this. My wife did that.” “And what did you contribute to the breakup of your marriage?” I ask. “Nothing … my spouse did such-and-such. He was such a jerk.” “And why were you attracted to such a jerk?” I ask! “Have you ever been attracted to other jerks?” Silence …!

No matter what struggle we are in, we are always contributing something. I’ve seen husbands berating and blaming their wives for their marriage problems when in reality they were very angry at their mother and were taking it out on their wife. I’ve seen wives do the same thing when they are really mad at either their father or some other significant male who hurt them deeply in the past.

Many spouses are angry about something in their past. Others are too “nice, weak and/or passive” (codependent). Others are over-dependent and smother their partner. But do they see their problem and the contribution to the situation they are in? Many, if most, don’t. Far too many of us are in denial about our own deficiencies. The reason denial is so deadly is because, as a Daily Encounter subscriber described it: “Don’t Even kNow I Am Lying.”

Deniers are avoiders of personal responsibility. They tend also to be blamers. And as I have said many times, if I play the blame game, I will “b-lame”—and will never get well. Only as we acknowledge the truth and reality of what we are contributing to our problems, will we ever have any hope of recovery and becoming well. The reality is that the only person I can ever change is me, and as I change, others are almost forced to change in relationship to me in one way or another. This is not always for the best, however, as some people simply cannot stand or handle our change. To get well this is the risk we need to take.

The only people counselors—and even God—can help are those who willingly admit: “I have a problem. I need help.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, in every conflict or difficult situation I am in, please give me the courage to see and acknowledge anything that I might be contributing to the mess I am in and lead me to the help I need to overcome. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Psalm 145:18 (NIV).

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The Search for Truth Part II

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Jesus gave an eternal principle to all people when he said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”1

While Jesus was primarily sharing a theological principle, the same principle applies to every area of life—not only to propositional truth (factual truth) but also to personal truth.

Personal truth means that we are to be in touch with our inner truth; that is, being aware of and honest about our true feelings and motives. As God’s Word says, “Behold, you [God] desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part you will make me know wisdom.”2

In reality, the more dishonest we are (repressed and in denial) about our inner truth, the more we will distort all truth—including God’s truth—to make it match our distorted perception of reality. The opposite is also true, the more honest we are with our inner truth the clearer we will see all truth.

In other words, we see things not the way they are but the way we are. For example, if I am a negative person, I will see things in a negative light—and be critical about them. If I am a supersensitive person, I will read into what others say or do and overreact—not so much on the basis of what they have said or done, but on the basis of who and what I am. On the other hand, as Thomas Dreier put it, “The world is a great mirror. It reflects back to you what you are. If you are loving, if you are friendly, if you are helpful, the world will prove loving and friendly and helpful to you. The world is what you are.”

It is not without good reason that God’s Word teaches: “Don’t just pretend to be good! Be done with dishonesty and jealousy … put away all evil, deception, envy, and fraud. Long to grow up into the fullness of your salvation.”3

If we want to discover truth it starts with our being truthful and honest with ourselves. As long as there is any area in our life where we haven’t found freedom, we can be sure that there is some truth we are not seeing or are in denial about. As Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”1

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to see and get reconnected to any and every area in my life where I might be in denial, so I can bring these issues into the light so they can be dealt with and resolved. Help me always to be truthful with myself, others and with you so that I will find true freedom and not distort the truth in any way. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

To be certain your life is right with God read, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9.

1. John 8:31-32 (NIV).
2. Psalm 51:6 (NASB).
3. See 1 Peter 2:1-3 (TLB).

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The Search for Truth Part I

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The search for and avoidance of truth is as old as mankind. At the beginning of mankind’s history Satan (the devil) distorted God’s truth by telling a part-truth—one of the most deceptive form of lies. This resulted in mankind’s fall and introduced evil into the world.1 And when Jesus was being tried, Pilate asked, “What is truth?”2

Today, however, in our so-called post-modern secular world, with our political correctness insanity, according to Kenneth D. Boa and Robert M. Bowman Jr., in their book, 20 Compelling Evidences That God Exists, “Tolerance—not truth—is absolute.”3 This is an extremely dangerous way to live and a foundation of sinking sand upon which to build a society—especially as we keep moving our roots farther and farther away from God, the author and essence of all truth and life.

At the root of much of the evil (including terrorism) in today’s world is the fact that men have exchanged the truth of God for a lie. In speaking about earlier generations God’s Word says, “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged … the truth of God for a lie.”4

The end result: “God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.”5

The reality is that without access to the truth there is no reality, no freedom, no sense of direction, and no hope of salvation for mankind. No wonder so much of today’s world is floating on a sea of distrust and world-wide turmoil. May we never forget that “blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD.”6

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please send a revival of your Spirit and a revival of truth to our land so that as a nation we will turn back to you and know your blessing and security—and let your work begin in me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

To be certain your life is right with God read, “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian—without having to be religious at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9.

1. See Genesis 3:1-6.
2. John 18:38 (NIV).
3. Kenneth D. Boa and Robert M. Bowman Jr.,
in their book, 20 Compelling Evidences
That God Exists, p.18.
4. Romans 1:21-23 (NIV).
5. Romans 1:28-32 (NASB).
6. Psalm 33:12 (NIV).

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Learning to Be Upfront

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“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”1

The story is told how a good friend of Henry Ford was very upset because Ford didn’t buy a large life insurance policy from him.

When he asked why he had purchased the policy from a total stranger and not from him, Ford replied, “You never asked me.”

When somebody wants something from me, I want them to ask me directly, and not beat around the bush or try to manipulate me, etc., etc.

According to the words of Jesus, God wants us to do the same—to be direct, detailed, and determined; that is, to ask directly for what we want—”For he who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

I wonder, too, how many of our personal contacts would come to Jesus if only we asked or invited them to—even if it is through giving or sending them an attractive and appropriate piece of gospel literature, or sending and recommending the web address of a suitable gospel web site. For help see the article, “Too Important Not to Share” at: https://learning.actsweb.org/announce.php

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, help me to be direct and up front in all my communications with you—and my closest friends. Help me to ask for and earnestly seek every blessing and good gift that you long to give me. And give me the courage to invite my friends and family to accept you as their personal Lord and Savior. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus, Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV).

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Does God Care?

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“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”1

My twenty-something son came to see me last night. He was terribly distraught over a broken relationship that triggered a lot of pain from the past. As I hugged him, he sobbed his heart out on my shoulder. I am so thankful that he felt safe enough to do this knowing that it is always okay to share his feelings with me no matter what those feelings are.

At times like these I have little to say—I feel my silence and giving him my presence speaks the loudest. I do, however, assure him of my love and acceptance no matter what. Unfortunately—usually more by men than women—when our kids or anyone else is hurting, we want to fix them and wax eloquent with unsolicited advice—advice that is totally divorced from the need of the moment and totally misses the opportunity to be as Jesus to one who is hurting. What people need when they are troubled is a listening ear, an understanding heart, and a shoulder to cry on.

At a time like this the question is often asked, “Where is God when our heart is breaking … does he care? Strange enough, right while my son was sobbing his heart out, the following gospel song was being sung on my computer. It brought tears to my eyes.

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long?

Refrain:
Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

Does Jesus care when I’ve tried and failed
To resist some temptation strong;
When for my deep grief there is no relief,
Though my tears flow all the night long?

Does Jesus care when I’ve said “goodbye”
To the dearest on earth to me,
And my sad heart aches till it nearly breaks –
Is it aught to Him? Does He see?2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, thank you that you do care when my heart is breaking. Help me to always remember this and sense your comforting presence knowing that when I commit and trust my life to you, you will, in time, turn my mourning into rejoicing and I will become a richer, healthier, more caring person. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT).
2. Frank E. Graeff, 1901.

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