Monthly Archives: October 2007

Forgiveness

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“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”1

A friend sent me the following illustration: One of my teachers had each one of us bring a clear plastic bag and a sack of potatoes. For every person we refused to forgive for whatever they did, we were told to choose a potato, write on it the name and date, and put it in the plastic bag.

We were then told to carry this bag with us everywhere for two weeks, putting it beside our bed at night, on the car seat when driving, next to our desk at work, etc.

The hassle of lugging this around with us made it clear what a weight we were carrying spiritually and emotionally, and how we had to pay attention to it all the time to not forget it and leave it in embarrassing places.

Naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated. This was a great metaphor for the price we pay for nursing our grudges. Too often we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person while it clearly is for ourselves!

So the next time you decide you can’t forgive someone, ask yourself, Isn’t your bag heavy enough?

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to forgive all who have ever hurt me and to never nurse a grudge—no matter what others have done or have failed to do—just as you always forgive me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus (Luke 6:37, NIV).

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Pray Without Ceasing

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“One day Jesus told his disciples a story to illustrate their need for constant prayer and to show them that they must keep praying until the answer comes.”1

“Help God! Help! Forgive me for my sins and save me. And you’d better do it real quick because my mother is about to kill me!”

This was a prayer from Jamie, a friend’s granddaughter. Jamie, a four-year old, had just applied her mother’s fingernail polish to her fingernails plus many other places on her hands and in mother’s bedroom. A not too happy mother had sent her to the bathroom to wait until the mess in the bedroom was cleaned up.

When mother came into the bathroom, the prayer above was what she heard her daughter praying!

It’s good for all of us to pray whenever we are in trouble. Probably most of us do. I certainly do. As someone has said, “There will always be prayer in schools as long as there are exams!”

However, when we are in trouble is not the only time we need to pray. Like me, you probably have a “friend” or two who only calls you when they want something. As soon as you hear their voice, you think to yourself, “I wonder what s/he wants now?”

I don’t like those kinds of “friends” and I can’t help but wonder how God feels if the only time I come to him is when I am in trouble or want something?

As Jesus said, we ought to pray at all times and for many reasons—especially to express thanks and gratitude for all the blessings God gives to us daily.

Or as the King James translation puts it, “Men ought always to pray, and not to faint.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me a thankful heart and help me to give you my presence daily as you want to give me yours. Help me to pray about other’s needs as well as everything in my life and not faint. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Luke 18:1 (TLB).

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When the Problem Isn’t the Problem

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“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”1

John was one of the most affluent men to ever come to me for counseling. He was a very successful medical practitioner but his practice had slipped badly and his second wife was about to leave him. He had just about everything he wanted that money could buy but was one of the most miserable men I had ever met. His world had almost fallen apart.

For the entire hour in that first session I sat listening to him berate his wife. On and on he went. Finally I said, “That’s not your problem.”

“What do you mean, it’s not my problem?” He angrily asked.

“Come back next week and we’ll talk about it,” I said.

The same thing happened the next week, and the next, and the next. Finally he got it. It wasn’t his wife that he was so angry at. It was his mother and he was projecting all his pent-up anger toward her onto his wife. Only as he faced the root cause of his problem was he able to resolve it.

Why didn’t I tell him sooner what his real problem was? Because he needed to see it for himself and could only do that when he was ready to quit the blame- game and face the unresolved anger in himself.

Many of our problems, especially relational ones, are the fruit of a deeper root—a symptom of a deeper problem. All we see is the symptom or what counselors call the ”presenting problem.” If we focus only on the symptom, we tend to reinforce it. While we don’t ignore the symptoms, we need to face and deal with the root cause/s so we can resolve the root problem and therein free us from the symptoms.

And what happened to John, our doctor friend? His marriage was saved, his practice was saved, and his wife became a counselor.

As Jesus said, “You will know [experience] the truth and the truth will set you free.” Or to put it another way, as long as there is any area in my life where I am not free then to that degree I am into denial; that is, there is some truth about me that I am not seeing and/or facing.

Suggested prayer, “Dear God, here are the symptoms in my life [name them]. If these are caused by something in my life that I haven’t faced and resolved, please give me the courage to see this and the will to do what I need to do to resolve it. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus (John 8:32).

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Learning to Pray the Right Prayer

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“You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask [pray], you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives.”1

Some time ago I took a psychological test that, among other things, measured how much I was in touch with my major emotions of love, wonder, guilt and fear. On a scale of 0 to 100 any score below 30 was considered repressed.

On fear I scored 5!

This concerned me because I knew that repressed fear could cause me to act out blindly by setting myself up to fail at work or in relationships. I didn’t want to do that so I prayed earnestly that God would deliver me from my buried fear. However, I realized I was praying the wrong prayer. I was focusing on praying for deliverance from the symptom rather than from the cause, so I changed my prayer to: “Dear God, my real prayer is that I don’t want to face that fear. I’m too afraid. That’s why I buried it. Please give me the courage to face and deal with the real cause/s of my fear/s.”

The point I’m making is that we need to learn to be honest in our praying. For example, if I can’t stand my neighbor and, wanting to impress God, piously ask him to bless my neighbor while in my heart I despise my neighbor, which prayer does God hear? He hears what my heart is saying. Only as I admit this can God help me to love my neighbor and bless him through me.

By the way, it took me two years to resolve the fear mentioned above. It was caused by the death of a sister that I loved dearly when I was a small child. My fear was that if I loved someone I might lose them. In time I discovered that I had a few more hidden fears to deal with as well. Since facing and resolving these fears, my close relationships have improved dramatically.

How can you tell if you have any buried fears? Look at any symptoms in your life. Do you have a pattern of failure at work or in relationships? Any phobias? Any floating anxieties that you have no idea where they are coming from? Any physical ills such as ulcers or any addictions that you may be using to avoid facing something you have buried?

And how do we overcome such fears? I don’t know any easy solution but for me it began with a genuine desire to overcome them. Next, I needed to accept full responsibility for resolving my fears and stop blaming anyone else for them. Above all, I needed to ask God to help me to be honest with myself, to give me the courage to face my fears, and to lead me to the help I needed to overcome them.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please give me the insight and courage to see and deal with any repressed or hidden fears in my life, and lead me to the help I need to overcome the causes of these. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. James 4:2-3 (NIV).

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This Way to Heaven

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“There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.”1

On one occasion when Joy and I were visiting in New York City, we wanted to visit Ellis Island where many of the early immigrants were processed before being allowed to enter and welcomed into the U.S. From downtown we were told to go on the red line subway train. Not knowing anything about the subway system, we sure felt relieved when we found the right train and boarded it.

Oops … after quite a while we discovered that while we were on the right train, we were headed in the wrong direction. While we were sincere, we happened to be sincerely wrong.

We’ve all heard about football players who have done the same type of thing; that is, they were on the right team, but were running with the ball towards the wrong goal. They were sincere too, but sincerely wrong.

Many a person too, may be in the right church but, without knowing it, may be heading in the wrong direction. They, too, may be very sincere but sincerely wrong.

In younger years I figured that if I did more good things to outweigh the bad things that I had done, that would get me into God’s heaven. That is, by my good works I could earn my way into heaven. Wrong. God’s Word makes it very clear that there is no way we can earn our way into God’s heaven. Forgiveness of sins and the way to heaven are totally a gift from God. This is because Jesus Christ, God’s Son, died on the cross to pay the penalty for all our sins making God’s gift of forgiveness and a home in heaven possible. All we need to do is confess our sinfulness to God, repent from our sinful ways, and ask God for his forgiveness and gift of eternal life in heaven—and accept these by faith.

The word “repent” literally means to do a u-turn and go in the opposite direction. That is, to turn from our sins and from going our own way to go God’s way.

When it comes to your eternal destiny, whatever you do make sure you are on the right road heading in the right direction. As Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”2 Being sincere won’t make it.

Note: to be absolutely sure you are on the right road to heaven read “How to Be Sure You’re a Real Christian” online at: http://tinyurl.com/8glq9.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to know and understand your requirements regarding the way into your heaven as explained in your Word, the Bible. And help me to be absolutely certain that I am going the right way with my sins forgiven and have received your gift of eternal life with a home in heaven. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. The Bible (Proverbs 14:12, NIV).
2. Jesus (John 14:6, NIV).

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Faith Versus Presumption

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“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”1

Some time ago I read how, when Norman and Melissa “C” stopped making payments on their Hartford, Connecticut house, the Federal National Mortgage Association (FNMA) began foreclosure proceedings.

The Camerons contacted FNMA officials to explain why they had stopped making payments on their $54,000 mortgage: God told them they could. “It was our desire to be free from this mortgage debt,” the Camerons told the court overseeing the foreclosure. “Therefore we asked God our Heavenly Father in the name of Jesus Christ. He heard us and He freed us from this mortgage bondage.”

According to this report, the FNMA officials made it clear that they would continue with foreclosure proceedings until they, too, are contacted by God.

This illustration is certainly extreme but I have heard others claim “God” had told them to do such and such, and before long “God” was telling them the opposite. Sometimes some people justify what they want to do by claiming “God” told them this was the right thing to do. This is not faith. It is presumption. Faith only applies to prayer that is in harmony with God’s will.

Suggested prayer: Dear God, please give me sense enough to know the difference between faith and presumption, and to always ensure that my prayers are in harmony with your will. Thank you that when I pray this way, you always hear and answer my prayers. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. 1 John 5:14-15 (NIV).

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The Why of Materialism

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“Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”1

Many years ago Sadhu Sundar Singh (1889-1929) said: “While sitting on the bank of a river one day, I picked up a solid round stone from the water and broke it open. It was perfectly dry in spite of the fact that it had been immersed in water for centuries. The same is true of many people in the Western world. For centuries they have been surrounded by Christianity; they live immersed in the waters of its benefits. And yet it has not penetrated their hearts; they do not love it. The fault is not in Christianity, but in men’s hearts, which have been hardened by materialism and intellectualism.”

Intellectualism (this does not mean being intellectual) can be and often is a defense against facing one’s reality, and used as a means to rationalize the belief system we want and choose to believe. If we intellectualize or rationalize away God, then we can deceive ourselves into believing that we are ultimately only responsible to ourselves. In so doing we harden our hearts against truth and reality.

Materialism is often a symptom of buried emotions, especially the emotion of wonder. Instead of finding fulfillment in the wonder and beauty of creation and nature, we get wrapped up in things. As the saying goes, instead of loving people and using things we end up unhappily loving things and using people. Another way to harden our hearts and a dangerous way to live.

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to be totally honest with myself and with you and learn how to enjoy the beauty of your creation and the simple things of life and therein protect my heart from becoming hardened. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus (Luke 12:15, NIV).

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Let Your Light Shine

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“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”1

According to an article in the Sermon Fodder List, Edward Kimball, a layman, gathered the nerve to share his Christian faith to Dwight L. Moody, a shoe salesman, who accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. Dwight Moody became one of the greatest evangelists of his day. The world renowned Moody Bible Institute in Chicago was founded by D. L. Moody.

“But, do you know ‘the rest of the story?’ Dwight Moody went to England and worked a profound change in the ministry of F.B. Meyer. F.B. Meyer, with his new evangelistic fervor, influenced J. Wilbur Chapman. Chapman helped in the ministry of converted baseball player Billy Sunday, who had a profound impact upon Mordecai Ham. And Mordecai Ham, holding a revival in North Carolina, led Billy Graham to Christ. And the man who started it all was a layman, Edward Kimball, who took seriously Christ’s commission to be a witness in his world.”

“Keep on sowing your seed,” says the Word of God, “for you never know which will grow—perhaps it all will.”2

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to so live that my life always will be a shining light that will attract and draw others to you. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus (Matthew 5:16).
2. King Solomon (Ecclesiastes 11:6, TLB).

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God of the Ordinary

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“For many are called, but few are chosen.”1

“There are many reasons why God wouldn’t want to use many of us, but don’t worry. We’re in good company! As another has shared:

“Moses stuttered.
David’s armor didn’t fit.
John Mark was rejected by Paul.
Hosea’s wife was a prostitute.
Amos’ only training was in the school of
fig-tree pruning.
Jacob was a liar.
David had an affair.
Solomon was too rich.
Abraham was too old.
David was too young.
Timothy had ulcers.
Peter was afraid of death.
Lazarus was dead.
John was self-righteous.
Jesus was too poor.
Naomi was a widow.
Paul was a murderer. So was Moses.
Jonah ran from God.
Miriam was a gossip.
Gideon and Thomas both doubted.
Jeremiah was depressed and suicidal.
Elijah was burned out.
John the Baptist was a loudmouth.
Martha was a worrywart.
Samson had long hair.
Noah got drunk.
Did I mention that Moses had a short fuse?
So did Peter, Paul—well, lots of folks did.”

“Satan says, ‘You’re not worthy.’ Jesus says, ‘So what? I AM.’ Satan looks back and sees our mistakes. God looks back and sees the cross. He doesn’t calculate what you did last year. Sure. There are lots of reasons why God shouldn’t have called us. But if we are magically in love with Him, if we hunger for Him more than our next breath, He’ll use us in spite of who we are, where we’ve been, or what we look like.”2

Perhaps today’s Scripture could be interpreted as follows: “For many are called, but few prove themselves to be chosen.” In fact, God calls every one of us to follow and serve him. If he waited until we were fully mature, whole and complete, he wouldn’t get anything done. He will use us exactly as we are as long as we are available and willing to be used. In so doing we will then prove ourselves to be chosen ones.

Suggested prayer: “Heavenly Father God, I’m available—warts and all—please use me to be a part of what you are doing in the world today. Help me to keep growing so I can, with your help, become more usable. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Jesus (Matthew 22:14).
2. Author Unknown.

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What You Think—You Are

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“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”1

There’s an old fable that talks about a man who found an eagle’s egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eagle hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life, the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken.

He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet in the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat of its strong golden wings. The old eagle looked up in awe. “Who’s that?” he asked. “That’s the eagle, the king of the birds,” said his neighbor. “He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth—we’re chickens.”

So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that’s what he thought he was.2

How sad when we who are children of the King live as chickens when we could fly with the eagles.

As the old saying goes, “You are not what you think you are, but what you think, you are.”

Suggested prayer: “Dear God, please help me to wait upon and hope in you and see realized in my life all that you have for me. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus’ name, amen.”

1. Proverbs 23:7 (NKJV).
2. Anthony DeMello from A 4th Course of Chicken Soup for the Soul. Copyright 1997 by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Hanoch McCarty and Meladee McCarty.

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